Chapter 47

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Rose

“ROSE, ARE YOU SURE you’re going to be okay?” Marisa asked as she was getting ready to head to her morning doctor’s appointment.

“I’ll be fine. I have so much work to get caught up on. I’m just gonna hide out in here and probably won’t even see him all day.” The truth was, I was far from fine. I had been sick to my stomach and cried for three days straight. I put on a strong front to Marisa and Lucy while falling apart to Aunt Kate. I knew Marisa and Lucy were on to my act, my swollen eyes each morning were a dead giveaway, but they never let on that I was anything less than stoic over the whole situation. The last few days he’d been away were definitely hell, so I could only imagine what coming face-to-face with him today would bring.

“Okay, I’ll be back in an hour or so. Do you need anything while I’m gone?”

“Nope, I’m good. Just close the door so I don’t have to see anyone.”

“You bet.” She flashed me a reassuring smile, closing the door behind her.

I tried my hardest to concentrate on work, but Alex was the only thing on my mind. The same way he’d been for the past three days. I could avoid him all I wanted, but it was inevitable we were eventually going to come face-to-face. Then what? I stood up and stared out my office window, trying to come up with a solution, and the only one I could think of was to leave this company. I could go back home, but I really liked New York. I had gained such a massive amount of experience in such a short time here, so there was no doubt in my mind I’d be able to find work elsewhere. Getting over the job wasn’t the problem, it was getting over Alex that was going to be the hard part.

“Rose.” Lucy popped her head in, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Oh, hey, what’s up?” I turned around and forced a smile.

“There’s some guy here to see you. Tall, dark hair, British accent. Collin, something or other.”

“Oh God!” I rolled my eyes. “What the hell does he want?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“You can bring him back,” I responded with reluctance. This was the last thing I needed, and today of all days with Alex, returning to work.

Lucy returned with Mr. Arrogant right behind her.

“Thanks, Lucy,” I muttered as she ushered him in. “You can leave the door open,” I requested as she exited.

“What brings you here?” I asked.

He looked me over, but not in the same sexual way he had in the past. It was as if he was taking in every single one of my features. He was silent and suddenly it was becoming blatantly awkward. “So, tell me, what were you trying to achieve?” he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t play dumb. You were after my father’s money. That’s why you showed up the other day with that picture. You wanted to blackmail him.”

This was getting weirder by the second. “Really, I have no clue what you’re talking about! So please, enlighten me!”

“Of course, that would explain why you weren’t interested in me.”

I was so glad this was all making sense to him because I was clueless to his one-sided conversation. “And what prey tell was the reason you think I wasn’t interested in you?”

“The naïve act before was kind of cute. Now it’s just getting on my nerves.”

“You know what? I haven’t a clue as to what you’re talking about, but I have work to do and don’t have time to listen to you go on about nonsense. So, if you don’t mind, please leave!”

“I think my father’s illegitimate daughter, all of a sudden showing up twenty-five years later, is far from nonsense. It sounds to me like a girl who’s after some money.”

“Okay, now you’re just delusional!”

“No, that would be your aunt Kate who’s delusional. She actually believed my father was serious when he told her he was going to leave my mother and stupidly got herself pregnant with you. Then when my father broke the news to her that he and my mother were getting back together, she didn’t want you anymore.”

“How dare you come in here and spew lies about my family?”

“They’re not lies, Rose. They’re truths. Truths your family never told you. But luckily, your big brother is here to fill you in on your deep dark family secrets.”

A cold sweat overtook my body and my stomach churned in every way imaginable. This couldn’t be true.

“Just in case you still have your doubts.” He placed a picture of my aunt Kate from years ago sitting in a hospital bed with a baby in her arms. “If that’s not enough to convince you, read the back.”

I flipped the photo over with shaky hands and read the note on the back that was clearly in my aunt’s handwriting.

Dear Phillip,

My beautiful Rose decided to bloom at 4:04 this morning. She’s perfect in every way imaginable. I don’t want anything from you except for you to know this beautiful girl is truly a gift from heaven.

~ Kate

My ears were ringing, the room was spinning, and I had to take a seat to settle my shaky legs. How could my entire life be a lie? I tried to catch my breath and halt my emotion, but it was useless.

“Is that proof enough for you?”

How I wanted to wipe the smug smile from his face.

“So, dear little sister, I’m here to lay it on the line to you…”

“I’m not your sister!” I shouted. “Just get out! Get out!” I stood up and charged at him. This was all some sick game to him.

He clenched my wrists and roughly yanked me into him. “That’s fine by me. I don’t want to associate myself with the daughter of some whore who spreads her legs for any guy just because they have money.”

I broke free from his grip and met the side of his face with the back of my hand.

“Rose, what’s going on?”

A loud sob escaped my throat when I met Alex’s gaze as he and his uncle stepped into my office.

“Did you just fuckin’ touch her?” Alex demanded.

“Oh, no…I’m not into that sort of thing,” Collin replied. “Rose, do you want to tell him or should I?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, wondering how anyone could be as cruel as him and actually get enjoyment from all of this.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Alex shouted. The fury in his voice sent chills down my spine.

“Oh, now this all makes sense. You’re the boyfriend Rose says she’s so in love with.” Collin continued with his taunt.

Alex jerked his head in my direction, and I couldn’t look away. His eyes were bright and filled with hope that maybe everything we had wasn’t lost, which was only making me more emotional.

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore,” Collin continued with his rant. “I’m out of the competition. I don’t screw around with my sister.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Alex glared at him in confusion.

“But if I were you, I’d dump her before she tries to trap you, the same way her aunt tried to trap my father.”

“That’s enough!” Mr. Andrews shouted. “Now you will get out of here before I call the police and have you escorted out!”

Collin held up his hands in defeat. “Fine by me. I have a plane to catch anyway. I was just dropping by to let Rose know there’s no clause in my father’s will for illegitimate children, so she needs to back off.” He inched closer to Alex with a haughty grin spread over his face. “Word of advice to you, my friend. She may be nice to look at, but I’m sure the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Chances are, she’s nothing but a gold digging slut just like her aunt.”

All the color drained from Alex’s face just before he slammed Collin into the wall, pummeling him in the face and knocking me to the ground. It was all happening so quickly, I wasn’t even sure who was pulling me out of my office. A few of my male coworkers rushed in to break the two of them up.

“Rose, are you okay?” Lucy asked as I stood in the hallway, trying to come to grips with what was happening. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. All I could do was cry like I’d never cried before. Everything I had learned in the last ten minutes was like a sack of bricks hitting me in the face. Lucy took my hand and led me into the ladies’ room. I threw some cold water on my face and tried my hardest to pull it together and form a coherent sentence.

“Lucy, I need my purse. I have to get out of here.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get it.” She nodded and darted out of the bathroom.

My reflection was barely visible through the swollen slits that once were eyes. Days of crying over Alex and now this had taken the final toll on them. But even if I could see clearly, I wasn’t sure I’d recognize the girl staring back at me. Everything had changed in just ten minutes. I was no longer Rose Perkins, daughter of Charles and Linda, I was the illegitimate child of some powerful British businessman and the woman I once thought was my aunt. I was hoping I’d shoot up in my bed at any moment and wake up from this horrible dream, but when the ladies’ room door creaked open, I knew I was far from my bed, and this was my cold hard reality. Gripping the cold porcelain sink, I willed myself to pull it together.

“Thanks, Luc—” I backed away when I turned around to find Alex cautiously approaching me.

“Rose,” he whispered.

“Please. I just want to be alone.”

“Fine…but are you okay?”

I covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t look at him for even one second because all I wanted to do was hug him and have him tell me it was going to be okay, but I couldn’t. He had been dishonest with me just like everyone else in my life had. So why did I still love him so much? Why did I want to take refuge in his arms and have the rest of the world disappear around me? Why did I want to tell him how much he meant to me, and that I’d never felt for any other man the way I did for him? All these things I wanted to say to him, but I couldn’t. My heart was shredded into a million tiny pieces, and he was the first one to make the first tear while my family had done the rest. Now I refused to allow him or them to put it back together again. Instead, I was going to use this painful lesson each of them had taught me as a learning tool to never trust anyone and never give my heart away to any man again.

“That’s not your concern anymore. Please…leave me alone.” Those three little words stung me just as hard as they did him. If they weren’t enough to inflict pain upon myself, the look on his face was. This big, strong man who just moments ago rushed to my defense, now looked so weak and vulnerable. Seeing him this way would’ve been a victory when we had first met. Now it was my greatest loss.

He raked his hand through his hair, and I caught a glimpse of his swollen knuckles from them meeting with Collin’s face. “Okay, if that’s what you want,” he whispered.

I choked back a sob. It wasn’t what I wanted at all. It was what needed to be done to spare myself from ever hurting this badly again. “It is. I don’t need you to rush to my defense. I don’t need you to care about what happens to me. I just need for you to leave me alone and act like we never met.” My words were barely audible.

“Here you—” Lucy returned with my purse and coat and gazed at Alex and me with sadness in her eyes.

I bowed my head, unable to look at the pain radiating from Alex’s face. I hurriedly brushed past him and grabbed my things from Lucy without saying another word, managing my tearful exit. I took the steps instead of the elevator to ensure a hasty getaway, my legs trembling the entire way down. The bitter cold January air helped clear my head as I stepped onto the busy street. The normal everyday hustle and bustle of sirens, honking horns, and people rudely rushing past me was a welcoming calm compared to what had just transpired a few stories above.

I walked for some time, wondering what to do next, where to go, or where exactly I belonged. Everything was a lie. From the time I was born, I believed I was someone else, and my family, the people who supposedly loved me most, were the perpetrators of this big, elaborate invention. Now that my head had cleared somewhat, I realized the untruth Alex had kept from me was nothing in comparison to this.

Alex. Tears poured from my eyes and down my frozen cheeks just thinking about how cold I was to him after he rushed to my defense. The words I had spoken to him just moments ago weren’t a reflection on my feelings for him by any means. They were all a lie. A weapon that hurt me as much as it did him. The wind hit my face, numbing every inch of my body. When I could no longer take it, I finally gave in and flagged down a cab. I paused for a moment, not quite sure of where it was I was going. I rattled off Aunt Kate’s address, hoping she wouldn’t be home. I just wanted to gather some of my belongings, check into a hotel, and lock myself away from the rest of the world.

When I arrived at Aunt Kate’s, I ran around my bedroom, shoving as many items as I could into my bag before she got home.

“Is everything okay, Rose?” Cathy, her cleaning lady, asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I mustered my best smile and carried on with my mission.

I struggled with the overstuffed tote and was just seconds from a clean giveaway when Aunt Kate came through the front door. The solemn look on her face told me she had already caught wind of what had happened.

“Rose, honey, please let me explain.”

I shook my head. Too angry to speak. Too angry to even look at her. I’d still been holding onto some small thread of hope that maybe this was all wrong. Maybe that Collin guy did this just to upset me, and my aunt would set it straight. But seeing her now, I knew any ounce of hope I had of that happening was gone.

“You had twenty-five years to explain and you chose not to. Now I choose not to listen.”

“Rose, please. Don’t leave like this.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “I’m begging you.”

I looked away and reluctantly took a seat on the couch, watching her pace back and forth, finally coming to a stop in front of me.

“This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“No, it wasn’t. You didn’t want me to find out at all. As much as I detest Collin, at least he was honest with me. More honest than my own family.”

She cautiously sat down next to me. “Rose, there were so many times I wanted to tell you, but your father thought—”

“And which father would that be? Your brother or the man you had an affair with?”

“I didn’t have an affair with him, Rose!”

“Oh, really? Was he not married at the time you slept together?”

“Yes, but he was separated and in the final stages of his divorce.”

“Really, Kate, even I wouldn’t be as naïve to fall for that,” I snapped.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I did love him, Rose.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? To know I was a love child whose mother loved her so much she gave her away to her brother?” I raised an eyebrow, not affected at all by the tears rolling down her face.

“Think what you want, but I love you more than anything in this world.”

“Then why did you give me away and lie about it my entire life?” I screamed.

“Because I was selfish and scared! Phillip was good friends with my brother and Henry. He was here visiting from England, we met, and I instantly fell in love. He had a young child and was going through a divorce. I knew that was a lot of baggage to deal with, but I couldn’t help how I was feeling about him. I was going to move to England after the divorce was final, but then all that changed.”

“How?” I asked.

“His wife was angry that he moved on so quickly and decided she didn’t want the divorce anymore. She owned half his business and refused to give it up. She was going after full custody of his son, and there was a good chance she was going to be granted it. I could deal with him losing his business, but not his son.”

“And I was just a casualty of it all.”

“No. When I finally told him, he still wanted me to move to England, so he could be closer to us, but I refused to be his mistress.” She paused for a moment and caught her breath. “I was offered an internship in Paris, and I was going to go, just you and me.”

“But you did go there…without me.”

She closed her eyes and nodded. “About a year before you were born, your parents had a baby girl. They’d been trying forever for a girl, and she couldn’t get pregnant, then finally their prayers were answered, but not for long. She was born with a rare heart condition and died when she was only five months old. Linda was devastated. She fell into a deep depression, and no one could snap her out of it. When I found out I was pregnant with you, and I no longer had Phillip in my life to help raise you, I was terrified. I was a little older than you are now, didn’t have a maternal bone in my body, and yes, I’ll admit, I was selfish and wanted my freedom, but I still wanted you in my life. So, my brother came up with a way that would serve in the best interest of everyone. You would be raised by two people I trusted more than anyone, and I’d still be a big part of your life.”

“And did it ever occur once to any of you that you were setting me up to live my whole life as a lie? Or did no one care about that, as long as all of you were getting what you wanted?”

“You had a good life, Rose. My brother and his wife made sure of that.”

“How, by buying me expensive things? Did you ever think maybe that’s not what I wanted?” Now it was me who couldn’t hold back my sobs. “My whole life, I never felt like I fit in…now I know why.” I stood up and flung my bag over my shoulder. “I listened to what you had to say, and I’m sorry, I can’t forgive you or them.”

“Rose, honey!” she shouted, but it was too late, I was already out the door.

I had finally learned the grandiose truth of my existence, but there was nothing grand about it at all.