Alexa

---

Thursday came and along with it came my comprehensive exam. It went fine, I was well prepared, and when it was all over and I spoke with my advisor, noting how easy it seemed.

She laughed.

"You have to remember that you’re the expert in this area now. We've all read in the area in a general sense, but you've gone in depth."

"I never thought of it like that."

She smiled and patted me on the back. "Now, it's a tradition that your advisor takes you and the other MA students for a drink, so I hope you're willing to come with us to the pub this afternoon. We're going to a place downtown called Valencia. Five o'clock until seven."

"I'll be there."

"Good. Drinks are on me."

---

I went home and of course had to report to Candace how my comp had gone and that I'd passed. She hugged me and brought out a bottle of champagne that she'd been storing in the back of the refrigerator.

"Let's toast to your continued success. It's onward and upward to your thesis research."

We had a glass of champagne and I told her about having drinks with my advisor and the other students in my year.

"Sounds like fun," she said.

"Yeah, but Ichabod is going to be there," I said and made a face of disgust.

Ian Crane, aka Ichabod, was a PhD student who couldn't seem to get the picture that I was not interested in his long-winded talks about the US election. He'd corner me in the hallways at Columbia and lean in close, droning on and on about the president or the FBI and it was all I could do to not run away. Although I was a political junkie, I had enough of US politics and the election. I was focused on my studies, not on what was happening outside my door. That may sound small, but I was tired of getting into arguments with people about it.

"You can survive one night with dear old Ichabod. You have to do this – commune with your fellow grad students. Besides, I'll be there to cheer you on."

"Thank God for that," I said and gave her a hug.

---

We dressed in our best causal clothes, with me in a pretty sundress with tiny straps that showed off my assets, and Candace wore her little black dress. Most of the time, my fellow grad students saw me in jeans and a t-shirt, Blundstones, and a backpack. I didn’t want to get too dressed up, but at the same time, this was a celebration so a little extra effort was warranted.

We trooped down to Valencia for a drink and supposedly to celebrate my successful comp, but apparently, people in my course didn’t really know how to have fun. An hour in and the evening had grown almost too dull for words and so I excused myself and went the washroom, happy to have a reason to leave the table. Ichabod, aka Ian, had been hitting on me, and I found it difficult to be polite when he thrust his face close to mine and made that face, his eyebrows wagging suggestively

I really didn’t have to go, but was hoping to find a way to extricate myself from Ichabod's attentions. I checked my cell, trying to distract myself from thoughts of him making the moves on me, and discovered that Luke had texted me.

LUKE: Save me.

I frowned. What the hell?

ALEXA: Save you from what?

LUKE: Terminal boredom.

That made me smile. I could see him in my mind's eye, sitting in a meeting, yawning behind a hand, his blue eyes wide with frustration. Maybe those sexy dark rimmed glasses on that made him look so brainy.

ALEXA: I was going to ask you to save me.

LUKE: Oh, yeah? From what? Whatever it is can't be as bad as the current hell I'm in…Quarterly financial reports… *yawn*

ALEXA: You’d be wrong about that. I'm at a supposed party at Valencia to celebrate my successful comp, and I'm practically falling asleep with my eyes open it's so dull. And then, there's this guy…

There was a pause.

LUKE: What guy? *takes on a fighting stance* Doesn’t he know you’re my fake girlfriend???

I smiled.

ALEXA: I was thinking of pretending there was a family emergency or something like that. Ichabod won't leave me alone and I can’t be mean to him because he’s my advisor's star teaching assistant.

LUKE: Ichabod?

ALEXA: Ian Crane, a PhD student. He has this really skinny face and red hair. He reminds me of Ichabod Crane in this book I read as a kid. If he gets any closer to me, I’ll scream. When he talks, I swear I can see his uvula.

LUKE: His uvula? GROSS

I laughed.

LUKE: You have to learn to give men a big hint because many of us – not me, of course – can’t catch a clue. Tell him you have a boyfriend. You can use me as an excuse. I mean, since I used you. Turnabout is fair play and all…

ALEXA: I can’t do that. Everyone knows I’m a total nerd and don’t have a boyfriend. I haven’t had one for a year at least.

LUKE: YOU. ARE. NOT. A. NERD. You’re a geek. Lie. Everyone does it…

There was a pause as I thought of how to respond.

LUKE: A YEAR??? HOLY SHIT. Not to pry, but you haven't had sex for a whole year?

ALEXA: One typically needs a partner to have sex so, yes, over a year, actually. Don't make fun or I won’t be nice and go to Westhampton with you.

LUKE: Sorry but I can't imagine you *cough* being single for over a whole year. My God, don't you go crazy? I mean, more than a year? How much more?

ALEXA: None of your business. Some of us have control over our biological functions.

LUKE: Nuns and priests, maybe…

ALEXA: I'm no nun. There are alternatives to actual sex with another human being, you know.

LUKE: Hmmm. Tell me more… Not that I'm slavering to imagine you doing all kinds of nasty things to yourself in the absence of a proper man with proper man parts…

ALEXA: Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know.

LUKE: I would, I would. Tell me everything.

ALEXA: Not on your life. I'll leave it to your imagination.

LUKE: OH GOD…

LUKE: How am I going to get to sleep tonight? You vixen…

I smiled and read back our texts. What would he think of me admitting I took matters into my own hand? I knew the mere suggestion would send his man brain into apoplexy. That was my desired effect.

Yeah, I could be a tease.

ALEXA: Maybe I'll come down with a headache. But the party's for me and we reserved the back room and have food and everything. I can't skip out on my own party.

LUKE: Yes, that's right – your comp. I know it went well. You don’t even have to tell me. As to Ichabod, I could come and rescue you, riding in on a white charger. Or Black Mercedes SUV. Whatever works for you.

ALEXA: No, that's all right. I'm a big girl. But thanks for the offer.

Candace must have come looking for me because she stuck her head in the washroom and called out.

"Hey, Alexa are you in there?"

"Yes," I said and glanced up from my phone.

"Did you fall in?"

"No, I'll be right out."

ALEXA: Gotta go. I'm being summoned.

LUKE: Okay. Talk later. And congrats again for the successful comp exam. But I hold you totally responsible for a great deal of current discomfort and probably a lot more later tonight when I'm in bed and I think of you all alone with no man parts to help out…

ALEXA: Simple. Don't think of me.

LUKE: Yeah, tell me another one. Not gonna happen.

ALEXA: I'm sure you can take matters into your own hand.

LUKE: I'd rather you take them into your own hand.

ALEXA: Good night, Mr. Marshall.

LUKE: *sigh*

I grinned widely and ended the conversation, slipping my phone into my bag. I washed my hands while looking in the mirror. There were bags under my eyes due to too many late nights studying, poring over research articles and reading reports. Luke was a flatterer, but he probably wouldn't find me all that alluring tonight if he saw me looking as tired as I was.

I didn’t mind putting in so many late nights studying. It was what I loved. I’d rather do it than spend my time socializing with the rest of my fellow students. Especially Ichabod, who had this annoying habit of leaning in close enough that I could count the nose hairs poking out of his very large nostrils.

I smoothed my hair and then left the washroom, making my way back to the table. I sat down, but unfortunately, I had to sit beside Ichabod once more. I wondered how long it would take for him to try to monopolize my time, hoping that I could excuse myself sooner than later and get the hell out of there with Candace.

Sure enough, Ichabod leaned in and began talking to me, taking off from the conversation about his new paper on Iran's nuclear program and the threat to Israel. I tried to smile, but it felt forced and all I could think of was RESCUE ME CANDACE! But she was sitting across the table from me, talking to someone else, blissfully unaware of how much pain I was in.

The monologue from Ichabod went on and on, his voice droning in a monotone that threatened to put me to sleep. I tried to catch Candace's eye, signaling with mental telepathy to come to my rescue. Her eyes widened as she watched something behind me.

Just as I was turning to check it out, I felt someone lean in even closer than Ichabod, kissing me on the cheek before I could do or say anything.

Luke.

"Hey there, beautiful," he said and knelt between me and Ichabod, his arm around the back of my chair. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got hung up in a meeting and couldn’t get here sooner to help celebrate."

I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a moment before getting on top of things.

"No," I said and cleared my throat. "That's okay. You got here really quickly."

He smiled. "My office is just a few blocks away."

I sat mute, unable to think of what else to say. Candace made a face at me, her eyes wider than saucers.

"Alexa, why don't you introduce us to your friend?"

"Oh, oh, yes," I said, stuttering. “Luke, this is Candace, my best friend and these are my colleagues. Everyone, this is Luke."

Luke reached out and extended his hand across the table to Candace. “Hey, Candace,” he said. “Nice to meet you. Alexa told me so much about you."

"All of it good, no doubt," Candace said and blushed. Luke kissed her knuckles gallantly. Then he turned to Ichabod.

"Ian, right?” he said and pointed to Ichabod. “Nice to meet you. Alexa told me about you as well."

Ian extended his hand and the two men shook. It was when Luke reached to Ian that I saw the tattoo extending down below his shirt cuff to wrap around his wrist. Something tribal, in dark blue ink.

It was so unlike what I thought of Luke. He didn’t seem the tattoo kind of guy. It made me want to take off his shirt and inspect the tattoo. See what else he had on his body besides that wonderful washboard abdomen. And of course, our conversation while I was in the washroom came back to me, and I couldn’t help but imagine his hands on me.

"Alexa, you never told us about a boyfriend," Ian said. He smiled at Luke but I could see it wasn't a truly friendly smile. "How long have you known each other?"

How would I explain him to everyone?

If I was at a loss for words, Luke wasn't, improvising on the spot.

"I used to go to Columbia, and we met at the pub last year when I was there for a reunion. We lost contact for a while and reconnected recently."

Luke grinned at me, winking slightly.

"How nice," Ian replied, his voice low. He looked rather upset. The other female students were a bit wide-eyed, no doubt impressed with Luke as any woman would be. He was gorgeous and looked high end, in his dark grey suit, white shirt and black tie. Plus, that obviously expensive black watch.

He was, quite simply, Armani gorgeous.

I took in a deep breath and calmed myself. Seeing him again, I realized that Luke was a hunk of man like I hadn’t seen in a loooong time. Tall, built, handsome… Even I was excited. I pasted the most alluring smile on my face and prepared myself to play his new girlfriend. It would solve the problem of Ichabod so it was worth having to deceive my colleagues. I put my hand on Luke's bicep and squeezed, enjoying the feel of the hard muscle underneath my fingers.

“Yes, I met Luke last year at Columbia. It was nice to see him again after he left for the business world and well, we just couldn't stop seeing each other."

Luke and I looked at each other, smiling like a couple deeply in love. I could see the gleam in his eye. He was enjoying this little charade.

He took my hand and kissed my knuckles.

What a change from the other guys at Columbia. He was a slick charmer, for sure. I could see Candace almost bursting with glee across the table, her grin ridiculously big. She loved the game as well.

"You're the Luke Marshall?" one of my fellow students asked, leaning forward. "The Luke Marshall of the Chatter app? The deal that's rumored to be worth two billion?"

"The very one, but shh," he said and held a finger to his lips. "We don't want that number repeated too many times. Just in case it falls through. The deal's still in the works."

"How did that number get out, anyway?" I asked. "Shouldn’t it be a secret?"

Luke shook his head. "Sometimes, it’s good to have a few rumors floating around. Increases buzz around a deal and might attract a higher bid by someone who wants to win the deal."

Luke pulled up a chair and the group moved on to some other discussion. When their attention was focused elsewhere, I leaned closer to him.

"I know your family's rich, but that's still a lot of money," I whispered, barely able to believe it.

Luke leaned closer and smiled back. “It is a lot of money, but I can then be my own man, with no money from the family."

"What are you going to do next?" I asked, unable to imagine what a cool billion could do to a person's life.

"Like I said, it's money that'll let me sail to the Galapagos."

"But after that? The Mars mission?"

He put an arm around my shoulder. "Something like that. Maybe build an orbital platform. Or a mission to the asteroid belt, to mine rare minerals and gold."

"That's visionary thinking."

"I want to do something with my wealth. Something that moves us forward as a civilization."

"Why not feed the poor? Or fight global warming?"

"I can do that, too."

I nodded and watched him while he took a drink of the beer a waitress brought over for him. He turned to me and smiled when he caught me looking at him.

"What?"

I glanced away, realizing that despite the charade we were playing, he was most definitely out of my league. He came from a wealthy family, and money was no object to him, and yet…

And yet he seemed to fit right in with the group, talking to someone about the most recent baseball win.

We sat with the group and Candace peppered Luke with questions about his business, and what he planned to do when the sale went through. Finally, Luke glanced at his watch. Then he leaned in to me, his lips beside my ear.

"Have you eaten?"

I shook my head. "Just nachos." I pointed to the basket of tortilla chips in the center of the table.

"Want to get out of here? Go get some real food?"

He met my eyes and how could I refuse him? He was so damn gorgeous...

"Sure," I said. "I'm hungry."

I glanced at Candace, who was watching the two of us, her expression pleased.

"We're going for supper," I said and stood. "Thanks to everyone for coming for a drink and to help me celebrate."

There was a round of congrats and Candace nodded, smiling.

I thanked my advisor, then said goodbye. Luke took my hand, leading me out of the bar to the street. A half a block down sat his SUV, all black and shiny.

"Where to?" he asked, leading it to me.

"Wherever you want to go.”

"What do you feel like? What kind of food?"

"At this point, I'll eat practically anything," I said with a laugh.

"Okay," Luke said and opened the passenger door for me when we got to the vehicle. "How about Italian? There's a fantastic restaurant down a few blocks from my office."

I glanced down at my dress. “Am I dressed appropriately?”

“You look beautiful. You’re dressed more than appropriately,” he said and looked over at me, smiling approvingly. “John and I go there all the time for great pasta and meatballs. It’s a family restaurant. Authentic Italian.”

I smiled, relieved that I’d fit in. “Sounds delicious."

We drove down 105^th and then made our way along the side streets until we came to a small restaurant in an old brownstone building, the storefront with a table in the window. It was quaint, all in red brick and black trim, and looked like a family business, white tablecloths and empty bottles of Chianti with candles lit in them.

The music was Italian and the smell inside was wonderful.

A waitress greeted us and pointed to the entire restaurant, which had only a few customers.

"Let's sit in the window," Luke said and so we sat at the tiny table, the candle lit between us, and examined the menu. The waitress took our drink order, and I turned down anything but ice water. Luke did the same.

I had to admit that my stomach was filled with butterflies because this felt like a real date. We didn’t have to come out for supper. He could have taken me home and gone his separate way, but he asked me to go to dinner with him.

That was kind of a date, right?

I checked over the menu and when the waitress took our order, I settled on some spaghetti with meatballs, which was the house specialty. Luke ordered the same and then when the waitress left, we turned to each other.

"So," Luke said and smiled at me, his blue eyes twinkling with humor. "How did I do as your fake boyfriend?"

"You were fabulous," I said, grinning back. "Can I use you anytime I need you to fend off my fellow students who can't find a clue?"

"Anytime," he said and took a sip of ice water. "I excel at empty meaningless relationships. Usually, there's lots of empty meaningless but very enjoyable sex involved, but I can do straight fake boyfriend if needed. However, I expect you to do the same for me, next weekend. Remember?"

"I remember. I'll be the very best fake girlfriend you ever had. I'll smile and gaze lovingly in your eyes, listen raptly to everything you say and I'll never disagree with anything."

"Oh, no," he said and mock-frowned. "You must disagree. Disagreements are key to a good fake relationship. Makes the fake sex spicier."

He grinned at that, and I couldn’t help but smile back. He was such a cute man, plus very handsome in a boyishly devilish way, with that tiny hint of evil in his eye. Mischievous, like he was holding back in order to pretend he was nice.

I wondered if he really was a bit kinky like he said when we first texted, and what that meant. It made me a little breathless to imagine what empty meaningless but very enjoyable sex would be like with him. I couldn’t help but think about riding him like he was a bucking bronco and squirmed a bit in my chair.

Down, girl…

I told myself that he was not for me. He was going to be sailing around the world for a year, and then wanted to go to frickin Mars or the Moon or something. He did not want to spend his time being married to me and living in Zurich or Copenhagen.

Still, I couldn’t help but imagine it. Maybe I could do meaningless sex. I'd done very bad sex. I'd done loveless sex. Maybe good but meaningless sex would be a whole lot better.

"So, about the weekend," I said, after our food was brought to us and we dug in. "What's expected of me? What will we be doing?"

"We'll be hanging out with the family at our beach house. It's right on the beach, so I intend to spend as much time as possible lounging around on beach chairs, drinking beer and catching the sun. We could surf. We could get some great fresh seafood. We'll have bonfires. We'll talk with those members of my family that I don't hate, like my sister."

I thought about his pregnant sister and her cheating husband. "It must be hard for you to be around Eric."

He took in a deep breath and shook his head. "You don't know how hard. I want to plough him every time I think about it but I don’t want to ruin her experience of childbirth and being a new mom."

"That might take a year, from what I hear."

He shrugged and twirled some pasta on his fork. "That's okay. She can live in ignorance for a while. I'll see what Eric does in the meantime."

"Will you tell her eventually?"

"What do you think I should do? You’re a woman. Would you want to know if your husband cheated on your when you were pregnant?"

"Oh, God, I don't know…" I took a drink of water and considered. My parents had such a great relationship. I couldn't imagine how my mom would have felt if she learned my dad cheated on her. "I'm not one to talk about relationships," I said and shrugged. "But I do think it's important to know the truth."

"I might wait until I think she's capable of dealing with it or until Eric convinces me he's repented. But if he doesn't, if I catch him straying again, I’ll bring the hammer down. It won't be pretty."

"You're close with your sister?" I asked but I already knew they were.

"Very close," he said and popped a meatball into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "It was hard when my adoptive parents moved us to separate schools. They thought it was bad for us to be too close. Like they were afraid we'd become incestuous but that was nuts. I think both of us were traumatized by it."

"It must have been hard. I can't imagine. My parents are still married and they've been together for thirty years. I'm sure they're still in love. They say they're each other's best friend. That's what I want in a relationship. In a marriage," I added.

"They're one of a kind, if that's the case," Luke said. “Half of all marriages end in divorce. Even second ones. It's a wasteland of broken hearts. I honestly don't know how people keep hoping one will stick."

I watched him while he sopped up some sauce with a piece of bread. He was really closed to the idea of a happy marriage whereas it was high on my list of must-haves in life. As easily as we got along with each other, as attracted as I was to him, I knew that there would never be anything between us. I'd have to protect myself from feeling anything but lust for him because he was out of reach for anything else.

"That's a very sad way to look at love," I said finally, turning back to my own meal. "You must be lonely."

"Not at all," he said and sat up a bit straighter. "I'm too busy to feel lonely. I have good friends. I have an amazingly successful business and am soon to be a bona-fide tycoon." He gave me a wicked grin. "And I'm going to be on my yacht on my way to the Galapagos with my best buds in the world as soon as I can get it built. Who's lonely?"

"I guess," I said and sighed. Maybe it was me who was lonely, but I didn’t feel it. "I'm too busy to be lonely as well," I said, "with my classes and studying and part time job as a teaching assistant. There's barely any time in the day that I can just flake out and do nothing."

"So what are your future plans?"

I shrugged and picked up a piece of meatball. "Get my PhD and get on the tenure track. Maybe work for a think tank in Washington or New York, for the UN. I won't consider settling down until I'm firmly ensconced in a good job in Europe."

"Europe?" he said and made a face. "Why not the good old USA?"

"I could say the same to you," I said and smiled. "Why Mars?"

"Touché," he replied.

We finished our meal, talking about Chatter and the pending deal, how he and John started the business and how successful it became – beyond any of their expectations.

When we were finished, he checked his watch then paid the bill with his credit card. When the waitress brought back the receipt he looked in my eyes. "Well, I guess I better go. I have another hour of work to do before I go home."

"You're going back to the office at this time of night?"

"It's only eight," he said with a laugh. "I usually work until ten. I'll be slacking off if I go home at nine. Plus we have a meeting about the deal, so…"

"What a life," I said and we got up to leave. "I'm done with work until next month when I start my research for my thesis."

"What are you going to do in between then and now?"

I shrugged. "Well, I'm going to be going to Westhampton for a weekend of performance art."

He grinned. "After that," he said and opened the door for me. We walked to the vehicle.

"I am a free woman," I said. "Two weeks of glorious doing nothing at all. Maybe I'll binge watch some House of Cards."

"Would you take a trip back to Oregon and see your parental units?"

"Parental units," I said with a laugh. "No, not likely."

"Why not?" he asked and opened my door. We got inside and he started the car.

I didn’t answer right away. I didn't want to get into the whole bad relationship that I was trying to escape back in Oregon.

"Reasons," I said and made a face. "Reasons I don’t really want to talk about."

He frowned. "Are you a wanted criminal back in Oregon?"

"It has nothing to do with me being a criminal. Someone else, but let's not talk about it, okay?"

Even thinking about it made my body tense and my heart rate increase.

"Sorry," he said and held up his hand. "Say no more. I won't pry."

We drove off.

"I'd love to go and see my mom and dad but I can't. Maybe they'll come out East for a visit."

"You're lucky you actually want to be around your family. Me? I can't wait to escape their company, with the exception of my sister."

We stopped at a light and I watched him. He rubbed his chin, which was covered with just the right amount of scruff.

"I would love to be around my mother and father, but it's not possible."

He nodded and finally, we arrived at my building. He stopped the car and got out, quickly opening my door before I could.

"You're pretty gallant for someone who doesn’t believe in romance," I said and stepped out, taking his hand.

"I believe in being extremely courteous." He helped me out, then offered me his arm. "To make up for being a heartless rake." He wagged his eyebrows at me.

I laughed at his expression. We walked up the eight steps to the front entry to the building and stopped as I got out my key.

"Well, thanks again for rescuing me," I said and let out a sigh. "I don’t think Ichabod will be bothering me again after your stellar performance."

"No more seeing his uvula, I hope?"

"I hope," I said and smiled. I felt a bit awkward because usually, if I remembered dating at all and I barely did, this would be the time when he'd lean in and kiss me or I’d invite him up for coffee.

"Well, I'd invite you up for coffee," I said, and tilted my head when I looked at him, "but I don't drink coffee after three o'clock in the afternoon and you've got work. Besides, I'm not into the whole empty meaningless but very enjoyable sex thing."

He leaned in closer, our eyes meeting. "That's too bad," he said, his voice sounding a bit gruff. "I'd throw over my extra hour of work in a heartbeat if you were."

We stood like that, our faces just inches away from each other and the moment seemed to stretch. Finally, I turned and slipped my key in the slot and went inside, kicking myself for not just kissing him. I should have. It’s not like he wouldn’t have kissed me back, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to let myself get too close.

I turned when I got to the inside door and waved at him. He was still standing on the doorstep, watching me.

"If you change your mind, you can text me. I'll be right over…" He raised his eyebrows at that. When I shook my head, he laughed. "Just kidding. I know you're not into meaningless if incredibly enjoyable sex. My loss."

"Good night," I said and as I closed the door ad went to the stairs, almost running up them. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I really enjoyed being with Luke. He was very, well…likeable. Let's face it. He was very fuckable, too, except for the part about leaving in a short time to sail around the world and his plans to leave the Earth for Mars or the asteroid belt.

I planned on staying put on Mother Earth and didn’t want my heart broken again.

Once was more than enough.