Chapter 15
Alexa
I took a quick pee and brushed my hair, which had blown in the wind as we drove along the coastal highway with the windows open. I had enjoyed the trip to see Luke's catamaran. It was really exciting to imagine what it would be like when it was complete and he went sailing, visiting any number of exotic tropical spots in the Pacific.
What an amazing future Luke had planned.
It struck me how much freedom he'd have to do whatever he wanted from now on. He was so lucky…
I went back down the stairs to the great room and saw Luke standing close with a woman, her hand on his arm. It took me a second but I recognized her from the google search Candace and I had done before I agreed to meet him. It was Jenna — his ex-fiancée.
She was beautiful. Dark hair, dark eyes, fit lean body.
She was everything I wasn't, in other words.
She reached up and touched his cheek, then brushed hair out of his eyes in a gesture that was so tender and intimate, it made my heart skip a beat.
At that moment, I had an epiphany.
I was getting too close to Luke. I was enjoying him far too much. I was imagining being with him on his boat, sailing to exotic locations and waking up with him beside me. I had this ridiculous fantasy in the back of my mind that he'd fall in love with me and realize he wanted to be married and have a family after all. That his broken heart had healed and he now wanted a real life with a real family.
That staying on Earth – with me – was what he really wanted after all.
What a fool.
Seeing Luke with Jenna made my throat choke up and a surge of regret flow through me.
What the heck was I doing at his beach house with him? What was I doing actually having sex with him when there was no way that he and I would get together?
First, he didn’t want to get married.
Second, he was from a wealthy family and was going to be one of the richest men under thirty in the world.
Third, I could tell by the way he was looking at Jenna that he was probably still in love with her. His expression was intense, and he was looking in her eyes the way I wanted him to look in mine.
I went back up to the bedroom and quickly packed my bag, deciding then and there I had to leave.
On my way out, I ran into Mrs. Marshall, who was just coming up the stairs.
"Oh, Alana, there you are," she said and stopped when she saw me with my bag in my hand. "You're leaving?"
"I am," I said and tried to go past her, not wanting to talk. "And my name's not Alana."
"You know he's still in love with her," she said as I passed her and took the stairs. "He doesn't want to admit it, but he is. A mother knows these things."
"Whatever," I said and ran down the stairs.
"It's better for everyone," she said, following me down. "He's on his way to big things. You're not quite in our," she said and hesitated like she was searching for the right word. "Circle of friends and acquaintances."
"What?" I said and turned back, frowning.
"You know what I mean. It's best that you two stop seeing each other."
I didn't know what to say so I just left, taking the front door and practically running down the driveway in hopes that Luke didn't see me and try to stop me.
I grabbed my cell and called a local taxi service, requesting a car to take me back to Manhattan. I'd walk a few blocks down the road and meet the taxi there rather than in front of the house in case Luke came to look for me.
I'd text Luke afterwards, when I'd calmed down, and tell him it was a great night but that I had to look after myself. I couldn't be pretending to be his girlfriend anymore. He'd have to tell everyone the truth – that he didn't want a girlfriend or wife. That he was planning on leaving Earth one day and there would be no family for him.
No heirs. No dynasty to carry on.
It choked me up, but I kicked myself mentally in the head for being such a romantic fool about Luke. Like Mrs. Marshall said, I wasn't part of his world and he wasn't part of mine. It was better that we ended it now. I couldn't imagine a life with Mrs. Marshall as my mother-in-law.
Having sex with Luke and doing the few things we did together had fooled my stupid mind into believing that he really felt those things and was right for me. I started to have real feelings for Luke, imagining us together. Happy.
I walked down the street, slipping my sunglasses on to hide my tears, and waited for the taxi to come and pick me up.
Later, on the way to the city, I got a text from Luke.
LUKE: Where are you? Did you leave?
That choked me up even more. Yeah, I left. When I saw the way he looked at Jenna, I realized that he hadn't gotten over her, despite all his protests. Then, Mrs. Marshall drove home just how different we were…
LUKE: Please answer me so I know you haven't been kidnapped or drowned when you snuck out to take a swim without me…
I wasn't going to answer. I didn't want him to apologize. I didn't want to read his lies about how he didn't feel anything for Jenna and that what I'd seen was a mistake.
There was no mistaking the way he looked at her and the way she looked at him.
I wasn't sure if he could forgive her, but I realized that me spending even more time with him, having sex with him again, might be fine for him, but it wasn't fine for me. I knew it would only end up hurting me.
We were from two different worlds.
I had to quit him and fast. Put him out of my mind.
I put my cell away and turned off the ringer, not wanting to hear in case he called.
Then I changed my mind.
I pulled out my cell and sent Luke a message that I hoped would end things between us for good.
ALEXA: I'm fine and no I didn't drown. Sorry about leaving without telling you, but I realized I can't keep up this façade of being your girlfriend. The sex was great, but I'm just not built to deal with casual hookups. It's not who I am. You're going to have to talk to people and tell them the way you really feel. You can't keep pretending, Luke. Be real with them and they'll finally realize you are your own man and have your own plans. Honesty is the best policy, or so they say…
Then I turned off my cell and turned off the ringer, not wanting to read his response.
I arrived back at the apartment and went upstairs, feeling like I had a huge weight on my shoulders. I had to buck up and be strong. It wasn't like Luke and I had any future, as Mrs. Marshall said. I knew that when I agreed to go with him to the beach house, but my silly romantic mind had let myself believe otherwise even if I was denying it.
Candace was sitting at her desk, one foot tucked under her, reading emails, when I walked into the room we used as an office.
"There you are – why are you home so soon? I thought you were going to stay for the entire weekend?"
I plopped my duffel bag down on the floor and slumped on my chair.
"The ex-fiancée showed up and I realized I was fooling myself if I thought he'd ever be interested in me for more than a stand-in fake girlfriend. Plus the mother pointed out that Luke and I are from two different classes and are not right for each other."
"What," she said and made an angry face. "That's bullshit. I'm sorry, kiddo. He's a real hunk of man, and this class shit is just that – crap. I saw him with you. He really likes you."
"He may, but you should have seen the way he looked at her."
"Aww, I'm sorry." She smiled and squeezed my arm. "But if he's really not into it, you should just put him out of your mind. Someone new and better will come along."
"I know, I know, but my stupid girl mind – the one who believed in princesses meeting handsome princes surfaced despite all my efforts to choke the living daylights out of her."
Candace laughed softly at that. "Yeah, I know. Too much Ariel and Anastasia in my past as well. We have to be realistic about guys. They're not Prince Charmings. They're guys from Seinfeld, like Georges and Newmans. Some look better than others, but they're all little boys underneath."
I nodded and took in a deep breath. "But man, he's as close as you can get to a Prince Charming, without the wanting to be married and have a real family part."
"He's a hunk of a billionaire man, that's for sure."
"That he is…"
I took out my cell and checked to see if he'd responded to my last text.
LUKE: I'm sorry you felt you needed to leave. If you saw me with Jenna, you should know I feel nothing for her anymore but contempt. I would have enjoyed spending the weekend with you, and now I feel bad that you didn't get any sun and surf in like I promised. But you're right. I have to start telling the truth to my meddling family. Thanks for everything you did to help me fake them out. I truly enjoyed being with you, and the sex was great. There – some honesty from me.
I read it over several times, feeling a bit sick to my stomach. I believed him that he enjoyed the sex. That much was clear. I believed him that he felt bad that I missed out on the sun and surf. I even believed that he enjoyed being with me.
What I also believed was that there was no future for us, no matter how much we enjoyed each other's company.
From his message, I gathered he realized it as well.
It was best we break things off and make a clean start of it, no longer pretending to be together as a couple. I could feel myself being drawn into Luke's world. It would be so easy to just let things continue between us, with me acting as his pretend girlfriend and us having great sex whenever it was possible.
But I knew it would be me with a broken heart. It would be me waving goodbye to Luke as he sailed away on his catamaran to the South Pacific and then off to Mars or wherever it was he wanted to live.
So I had to protect myself.
Luke was gorgeous. Smart. Rich. Ambitious. A great lover.
He wasn't and would never be mine…
"He sent me a text, apologizing and claiming I misread things between him and his ex."
"I'm sure he hates her," Candace said. "Who wouldn't hate your fiancé for cheating on you a week before your wedding? I sure would."
"Me, too," I said and re-read his message. "I was looking forward to some sun and surf, but it would have become really uncomfortable with the ex there. Plus, we actually had sex and you know me. I'm not into meaningless sex, no matter how fun it might be."
She leaned forward, her eyes wide. "You did the deed? Oh, my God, tell me. Deets, please!" She reached out and touched my arm. “I mean, I’m really sorry things didn’t work out, but you have to be pleased to get some…”
I told her about my night with Luke and how good it had been.
"It just kind of happened naturally," I said, remembering how easy it had been to kiss him and to just have sex right then and there. How exciting it had been to do so in the great room despite the fact we might have been caught.
"Naughty girl," she said, her mouth wide. "I can't believe you did that! He's a bit kinky, huh?"
"Not really," I said. "At least, I didn't see anything other than he enjoyed talking dirty and risked getting caught.”
"Was he good at it?" she asked, moving her chair closer to mine, eager for more details. "Some guys are good at it, and others are bad and say the most ridiculous things."
"I don’t have much experience…" I said, remembering back to the few guys I'd slept with. None had been dirty talkers. Blaine was pretty quiet when we had sex. "It was a turn-on though."
"Oh, God, he's so good looking," Candace said. "I can imagine it must have been hot to have him talking dirty. What did he say? Give me some examples…"
"I couldn't," I said and shook my head. "You had to be there."
She laughed. "You are a party-pooper. Okay, keep your secrets. At least you got some, which is more than I can say for me, stuck here in a man-drought…"
"Man-drought," I said, laughing with her. "You are terrible."
She gave me a fake bow. "I'm here every Saturday."
The rest of the night, I tried to distract myself from thinking of what was happening back at the beach house in Westhampton. Did Jenna stay the night? Did she and Luke have a deep serious talk and make up? He'd said he felt nothing but contempt for her, but I had heard that the line between love and hate was pretty thin.
I couldn't help but imagine the two of them fighting and arguing and then falling into each other's arms for a bout of mad passionate make-up sex. It was supposedly the best sex you could have because of the intense emotions. He had been in love with her. He could probably forgive her. Or at least, have sex with her.
I tried to push thoughts of him and Jenna out of my mind, but it was nearly impossible. I kept going over what I saw in the kitchen at the beach house and how he stood and looked in her eyes, and she reached up to touch his cheek, run her fingers through his hair. How they looked perfect together…
Then Mrs. Marshall's painful words.
I finally gave up.
"I gotta stop thinking of him," I said and chose an action adventure movie on my Apple TV so I could distract myself from thoughts of Luke and Jenna. "Bring me a beer. I need a distraction."
Candy complied and brought back two cold beers from the refrigerator. She handed me one and sat down on the sofa beside me. We clinked the necks of the two bottles and spent the rest of the night studiously not talking about Luke or my weekend at the Hamptons.