CHAPTER 9

Boyce

The house was too fucking empty. I went to work an hour after Vivian drove away and stayed there late. I didn’t want to feel my big bed by myself after being with Vivian for the last few days. I wanted her in it, spread open for me so I could take her again. She was in another city now and I missed her as I stared at my computer. I had some take out pushed back and my stomach hurt from the bad quality of the quick choice.

I glanced out at the dark sky and ran a hand through my hair. I decided to stay at the apartment tonight since I had enough clothes there to get by as well as food. I cleared the screen and powered down the computer before I bagged the Styrofoam container and tossed it into the trash.

Had it only been two days since she left? I walked out of my office and turned off the light, noting that the dim office was empty. I strolled through it and took the elevator down to the parking garage, walking to my car as I tried to push away the thought of an empty bed. I drove to the apartment and parked before going to the fifteenth floor and unlocking the door. I was just setting my briefcase down when I heard my phone chime, frowning as I pulled it out of my jacket pocket.

Vivian: Hey, handsome.

I grinned and sat down on the couch as I sent back a message. She said that the apartment was halfway there and a little about the town. I was vaguely familiar with the area enough to know that she’d be safe there if she watched out for herself. The apartment was in a good complex that was gated and offered security, given its proximity to the university. I’d checked up on both apartments for the girls and while it made me nervous to have Bella in New York, I had to let her try. Her mom always told her to reach for her dreams since she knew I’d have the money to support them. Nora told her to never hold back and I wouldn’t ask that of her.

I knew that Vivian’s parents wanted the same for her. They knew how bright she was and the future that was waiting for her. Stan would kick my ass a hundred times if he knew I was sleeping with her and I glanced up at the ceiling, wondering if they could see what she was up to.

Vivian: Can I come back next weekend?

Me: Yes, absolutely.

Vivian: Good. I’ll leave Saturday morning as soon as I wake up.

Me: Good night, Viv. Sleep well.

I leaned back and looked around the nondescript room, decorated with random furniture that I ordered online. There was nothing homey about this place and I never intended it to be, but right now I wanted more. I wanted more with the wrong person.

I went to bed and watched television, thinking about the upcoming weekend. She didn’t say why she was coming back in the text but the fact that she contacted me at all meant something. It meant something that I hadn’t cared about since I was married.

Fuck me.

I worked my ass off to kill the time until I saw her again. It wasn’t something that was uncommon with me and I spent time talking to Bella anytime that she needed me. She was the person that I needed to worry about and I gave her everything that she needed. Bella was flourishing in New York and I knew that she was going to do amazing in school.

I talked to Vivian as well, but those conversations were different. We talked about the time we spent together and ended up spending long nights talking one another through orgasms. I knew that we were continuing with what we started and through the guilt, I knew that it was keeping me going.

Anne still cooked for me, but she froze the meals for me to heat up when I was home. I went there if I left work early enough, but I hated the fact that every part of the house reminded me of Vivian. My sheets smelled like her until Janet washed them and I came home to a sterile room. I missed the smell of our sex and slept with the television on until the morning. I hated Janet in the morning every time that I woke up and missed the citrus scent that Vivian wore, and I found myself in her old room to see if I could find it there.

I was being pathetic, and I accepted an invitation to a bar with some other friends that worked near me on Friday night. Vivian was coming next weekend and I needed the distraction. I left the office around dinnertime and went to meet them down the street at a popular sports bar.

It was crowded tonight, and I looked around the room for my friends, seeing them at a table as I went to join them. “There he is. You’ve been working long hours lately, Boyce. What gives?” Mark asked as he poured a beer from the pitcher.

“No reason to be home. Bella left.” I kept it simple as they looked at me, seeming to be confused.

“You’re supposed to be living it up, Boyce. Not working long days at the office. Now that you’re alone at home, you can bring more women there for longer periods of time. Maybe even dating someone regular if that’s your thing. I know it isn’t mine.” Charlie smirked as he spoke, and I sipped the beer as I considered my answer.

“I’m not twenty-five, guys. I’m forty-six and I own a company. I can’t just blow that off because my daughter went off to college.” I shook my head. “I’m paying for that as well as part of Vivian’s education. I need to keep money coming in.”

“Bullshit. You did this when Nora passed away and you had a kid at home. What’s going on?” Nick asked as I gave him a curious look. He seemed to be noticing something that the others weren’t.

“I guess I’m missing Bella at home. I don’t know. Work is what I do.” I thought about Vivian, but I’d never admit that. “It’s an adjustment.”

“It’s time to live. You’ve done everything for someone else for a long time, especially as a single parent. You took on another kid on top of that. Let yourself relax now.” Nick smiled as I nodded and agreed softly.

Charlie was looking at the crowd and rating the women as Mark joined in. It was normal, but I felt annoyed by the idea of it tonight, probably thinking about Vivian being the girl at a bar and being rated by men. She was beautiful, and I knew that she’d get a lot of attention, though I never asked her about the guys at college. I didn’t want to know anything about that and she seemed to be thinking about me just as much as I was her.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t had sex since Vivian left. I didn’t miss it and I was normally used to getting it every few days after work. I wanted it from Vivian and looking around, I didn’t see anyone that got my attention too much here. Sure, they were closer to my age and I never had an issue getting anyone in bed, but I just wasn’t craving it tonight. We moved on to talk about the games playing on the various screens and who was going to get what at the end of their seasons.

I went to the bathroom an hour into the night and bumped into a brunette woman as I automatically apologized. I glanced down at her to see interest in her dark eyes as she took me in, knowing what the smile on her face meant. I was used to that and at one time, I would have enjoyed it. Now I preferred the way that Vivian looked at me like I changed her entire world. “Have a drink with me at the bar.” Her voice was low and seductive, and I frowned as I glanced towards my friends.

“I came with friends. I should get back to them,” I replied as she arched a perfect brow at me as if no man had ever turned her down before. She was a pretty girl, but I didn’t want to make the small talk and then reject her for sex later. I wasn’t in the mood for that.

“Just one drink. I’m sure they’ll wait around for you.” She smiled, showing off white teeth and I winced inwardly as I wondered what to say to her. “You’re not married, are you?”

“No, it isn’t that. I am just keeping it low key tonight. Maybe another time?” I offered as she shrugged and looked past me. Jesus, was I that guy when I was hitting on women over the last few years? If so, I’d think about my every action from now on. I made my way back to the table and checked the clock to see that it was approaching nine. I wondered what Vivian was doing tonight and slipped back into the booth as Nick glanced at me.

“We thought you got lost on the way back,” Mark told me as I shook my head.

“It’s crowded tonight. That’s all. I’m worn out from today too.” I just wanted to be home relaxing in front of the TV. I was through socializing for the night and sipped the last of my beer.

“Here, stay a little longer. I’ll get us another pitcher.” Charlie said as he waved for a waitress to come over. The four of us poured fresh glasses and kept talking about life in general as I sipped the beer and listened to them talk about work. The guys were all in the accounting business and I drifted in and out of the conversation as I considered what to do with Vivian next weekend.