Chapter One

“I’m sorry babe; I’ve got to work tonight.”

I blew out a deep breath of disappointment. Yea, I was hearing that a lot recently. “Okay.” I leaned over his desk and gave him a quick kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

As I walked out of Dean’s office, I wasn’t sure when I would actually see him, but I did know it would be eventually. Of course, even though we got to work together, I hardly actually got time with him when we were at work because people still didn’t know we were dating, but I didn’t mind that. I didn’t want them to know we were dating. After having experienced that in the past, I wasn’t interested in seeing if it was going to be different.

Melina gave me a smile as I entered the lobby.

“Staying late?” I didn’t mean it to come out as bitchy as it did, but how could part of me not be jealous? She actually got more time with him than I did these days.

“No, John is on his way to pick me up.” We’d given Melina a ride today, which meant she didn’t have her car here. “He says he has something special planned, so I’m looking forward to figuring out what it is.” Her eyes sparkled as we strode to the door together. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m fine,” I lied.

“You know … this is what he’s always been like. It’s why he can’t get a girlfriend. He doesn’t take hints very well, and no matter how many times I try to tell him something, he just doesn’t understand that he’s pushing people away. He doesn’t believe me and just tells me that someone will tell him if they think that, but he doesn’t see any of the hints.”

Melina shook her head as we stepped out into what Las Vegas considered fresh air. I bit my lip. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t helping much.

“I’m just saying,” Melina continued. “Sometimes you have to just come out and say it. He doesn’t see the little things. He … he’s not that smart.” Melina shot me a grin.

“How many businesses does he own?”

“Oh, that has nothing to do with him being smart. That’s another kind of smart.”

Melina was the only one we worked with that knew Dean and I had been together for a week, and I had to give her credit, she seemed to pick up on a lot of things. I was impressed she’d realized we were dating—back then she’d said something that still rang in my ears. Well, it wasn’t so much what she said, but the meaning behind it.

It was a big deal that he asked me out. I have no clue why. Melina wouldn’t tell me and said Dean would when he was ready to, but the thing is, after our second date we really hadn’t had much time together.

The entire weekend had been spent naked—well, mostly naked. And then that was it. Come Monday, he was back to work, and that seemed like all he ever did these days.

“Oh, that’s your ride, right?” I’d seen the blue car pick her up or drop her off before.

“Yup.” Melina gave me a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, and don’t worry about him too much. He’s probably just stressed with next weekend being the big launch.”

The casino was new; though it was open, we still hadn’t had a big opening night kinda thing. Dean said he was waiting for us to get a bit of a following before doing anything major. This week was the first major night. A big MMA fight was going down, so we had the TVs ready to go and were expecting to be slammed. The past four days, Dean had done nothing but run press and meet with interviewers. I made my way to the back of the parking lot where Katie was waiting for me in my car. She smiled.

Living across the hall from my best friend had benefits—one of those was she could borrow my car and pick me up from work when she was done with it. I slid into the passenger seat, and she gunned the engine.

“How’s the boy toy?”

It was the same question every day after work.

“He’s good … still working.”

“Again? He works late a lot.”

“Yea, I’m hoping it will change after this weekend, but I’m not so sure it will honestly.” I bit my lip, trying to tell myself not to worry about it. Of course, that didn’t help.

“I’m sure it will. He’s got to be under a lot of stress right now; I mean, you said you’re doing some big thing on the weekend, right?”

“Yea. Saturday is some MMA fight night. We’re expecting to be packed. He’s been working nonstop on it, and with the renos still going on, I know he’s been super stressed.”

“You should try to help with that stress.”

I snorted. “I have.” I’d done everything from offering to help him with work and give him a blow job. He wasn’t interested in it. I didn’t mention that part because it was way too embarrassing.

“I picked up some Chinese food, what do you say we go home, make some of that new hot chocolate you’ve been working on, and we watch some chick flicks?”

“Sounds like a perfect way to spend the night.” I closed my eyes, leaning against the headrest. Okay, the perfect way to spend the night would be with Dean, but that wasn’t going to happen, so this was the next perfect.

I opened my eyes, pulled my phone out of my purse and brought up his name. My fingers hovered over the screen trying to decide if I should text him or not.

Hey. How’s work?

I honestly wasn’t expecting him to reply.

*

I watched the cameras for Melina and Rebecca before I pulled my computer open. I’d gotten an email every day since they’d gotten a hold of my email. I took a deep breath and clicked on the newest one.

Dean,

You can’t run forever. We know where you are now and we’re coming. You deserve everything we will do to you—for her.

There was no signature, but I didn’t need it. I could try taking it to the cops, but I’d already called them. They said there wasn’t much that could be done. Who were we? I knew one of them was Keith. It had always been Keith. He’d never liked me, but who else could be involved. It wasn’t fair.

I thought we’d put all this behind us, and I thought I’d put this behind me. I felt a tear prick my eye. My brow furrowed. Now wasn’t the time to be crying.

I hadn’t been lying when I told Rebecca I needed to work late. There were still three interviews I needed to have sent in by tomorrow, and one of the interviewers had six follow-up questions because apparently, my answers weren’t good enough.

I took a deep breath. They are just trying to make you look as good as they can, I reminded myself. Not that it helped much. The fact was, I was stressed.

I managed to get a little bit of work done before my phone went off. Glancing down at it, I bit my lip. I knew I was pushing her away, but I couldn’t help it. I knew if I told her the truth, she would hate me for what I did, and I knew she would be scared of me.

I sighed, staring down at her text. A smile touched my lips, but the tear ran down my cheek, wet and salty as it touched the corner of my lip. I wiped it away quickly as if someone might see it if I didn’t.

Blowing out a deep breath, I texted her back quickly, letting her know how it was going, and that I already missed her.

I hated having to stay late to work on this crap. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and its benefits, but when Rebecca left my office today, it took everything I had not to follow her out of here.

I knew she was going to get fed up with me soon, and I knew it had been stupid to even ask her out in the first place, but I hadn’t been able to help it. There was something about her that made me want to take that risk; I just wasn’t sure if I should have or not. I’m only going to end up hurting her. And myself in the process, but that didn’t matter to me as much as she mattered.

Grabbing my cell phone, I pulled up our conversation. Instead of typing anything, I hit the button that would allow me to call her.

It rang three times before she picked up.

“Hello?”

“I won’t lie; I was beginning to think you might not answer my call.” I smiled hearing her voice and closed my eyes.

“What’s wrong babe?”

“Nothing … nothing; I just missed you, is that such a bad thing?”

“I can come back to the office if you want.”

“No! There is no point in us both being here. What are your plans for the night?”

“Um, Katie and I are going to watch some movies … Nothing overly special. Are you sure you don’t want me to come in?”

“I’m sure.” I just wanted to hear her voice and to take a break from work and just talk. “I just missed you that’s all. I wanted to talk.”

“What about?”

“Honestly,” I laughed softly. “I have no fucking clue.”

“Well, why don’t we try to make some time to see each other tomorrow?”

“A real dinner.” I nodded. “It sounds perfect.”

“I can even cook for you if you want.”

“Are you a good cook?”

She laughed on the other end of the phone. “You’ll have to find out tomorrow.”

I blew out a deep breath. God, I missed her right now and shook my head trying to stop thinking like that. “Alright, I’m sorry babe, but my break’s done; I gotta get back to work.”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I opened my mouth to say something then froze. “Um, bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and stared at my computer screen, zoning out. I’d almost just told her I loved her. How could I have done that? I swallowed dryly and stood. There was no way I’d actually just done that, was there?

It had only been a week. I couldn’t love her.

*

My brow furrowed as I stood in my bedroom. It wasn’t like him to just randomly call me like that. I hope he’s okay, I thought, tucking my phone back into my pocket and heading into the kitchen.

“Was that Dean?” Katie asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yea. He um, just wanted to talk, and we made dinner plans for tomorrow night.”

“That’s sweet.” Katie smiled widely.

Yea. But I wasn’t so sure he’d actually just called to talk, and I wasn’t sure the dinner plans would actually go through, but I didn’t voice that. Instead, I headed back to the table and grinned. “Alright, let’s get this down pat.”

Katie and I had been working on my hot chocolate recipes for the past couple nights now. Well, Katie tested them, and I made them.

Right now, we were working on white chocolate and lavender. “So, how’s your life going?” I asked, measuring out the chocolate crumbs into the bowl and dumping them in. We’d learnt it was best to go with a small amount of lavender, it was just a matter of getting the perfect amount. Tonight, we were trying a quarter lavender to chocolate ratio.

“It’s boring.” Katie shrugged. “All I do is work and go to school … oh, and um,” she paused as she bit her lip. “Remember that teacher I was telling you about?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

When I’d been feeling guilty about kissing Dean, my boss, Katie had comforted me by telling me I wasn’t the only one to kiss people I shouldn’t—she’d kissed her teacher.

“Yes.”

“Well, it turns out I might actually have a date with him on the weekend.”

“What?” I stared at her with wide eyes. “How? When? How did this happen?” I stared at my best friend completely forgetting about the hot chocolate mix in front of me.

“It’s not a big deal.” She shrugged. “It turns out he knows my parents. I went over there last night to drop some stuff off to my mom, and he was there. Today, in class, he mentioned it; well, after class thankfully.” She paused. “Anyways, he ended out asking if I had plans. Turns out he has some sorta thing he needs help with. I wasn’t really paying attention. I just said yes.”

“Some sorta thing?” I raised my eyebrow. “You don’t even know what it could be.”

Katie shrugged. “I have no clue, but I’m sure it’s going to be finnne.”

I rolled my eyes at my best friend, but the truth is, I was totally jealous of how trusting she could be. I bit my lip as I worked on the hot chocolate, adding a little flour to keep the powdering feeling that everyone was used to in hot chocolate, and a little bit of dried vanilla. See, the thing about wanting to open a hot chocolate shop is that I was going to have to figure out how to keep it from melting when they carried it home. It was Las Vegas, and I needed to make sure people could pack it in the back of a trunk with the sun beating down on it and drive however many hours and not have the hot chocolate melt. That’s why powdered chocolate and coco powder were the best ways to go, but I liked added a little bit of real chocolate to the mix. It was a marketing tool, and I honestly felt like it just made the mix better.

Even though I wasn’t in college for it yet, I was studying. I picked up marketing books from thrift shops when I could, and I read them when I could. Of course, finding the time to actually read was the hard part, but up until a week and a half ago I hadn’t been working, so it had been hella easy.

I took a serving of the mix and poured it into a mug we had waiting. As I measured out the next serving and poured it into another mug, Katie jumped to her feet and grabbed the kettle.

“I’m so excited for this, and when we are done we can work on the vanilla stuff, right?”

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes a little. Then we need to work on something … more …” Katie raised her eyebrows as she looked at me.

“Meaning?”

“I’m thinking something with a kick. Something that is going to stand out.”

If I could get six or seven flavors before being in college, I could have lots of time to perfect them, and I would have something to work with when I was out of school and could start trying to find a building to rent.

“You know, you should sell this online.”

I bit my lip. “That’s a good idea …” If I could get an online shop set up before college started, I could actually use the money to help pay for school. “I’ll have to. Once I get a few of these down pat.”

Katie poured boiling water into the mugs, and we waited for it to steep.

I tapped my fingers waiting as I stared down at the mugs.

Knock. Knock.

My head snapped towards the door as Katie looked at me.

“Expecting someone?”

“No.”

I crossed over to the door and opened it.

He had short blond hair and big brown eyes. Looking me up and down, he said, “Hi. I’m sorry.” He pointed to an open door across the hall. “I’m pretty new, still moving in and well, I don’t have any … well, food.” He laughed softly. “I was just wondering if I could borrow two eggs.”

“You don’t have any food.” Raising an eyebrow, I looked him over. He wasn’t wearing shoes, and he wore a pair of black skinny jeans with a band shirt.

“Yea.” He laughed softly. “I forgot that part of the moving process.”

I stepped out of the way. “Come on inside, we have left over Chinese food.”

“Really?” His eyes widened, and I was sure I heard his stomach grumble.

“Yea, I’m not going to eat it all anyways.” I turned on my heel and left him in the doorway. “Do you like hot chocolate?”

“Love it.”

I heard the door close. “Hi.”

I caught Katie’s eye seconds before she turned to look him up and down.

“Hi, I’m Katie.” She jumped up to shake his hand as I measured out a serving of hot chocolate and grabbed a fresh mug. I poured the hot chocolate and boiling water into the mug then pointed towards mine.

“You’re welcome to that one; it should be cool-ish by now.”

“Are you sure.” He reached for it and took a deep breath. “It smells great.”

“Thanks.” I blushed a little as I watched him take a sip.

“Tastes great too.”

“Becca made it.” Katie sounded so proud as she said it.

The poor guy looked confused. “Rebecca.” I held my hand out to shake his. “Friends call me Becca.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Jake.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake. You said you were new?”

“Yea … my um, ex-girlfriend … well, she’s my ex because I caught her sleeping with my … ex-best friend.” He smiled weakly.

“Ouch.” I wrinkled my nose. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged. “I went to crash with a buddy of mine that night and found this place … when I went to her place to grab my stuff I didn’t manage to get it all, so I’m slowly working on doing that, but I was staying at that friend’s, I didn’t want to take his food and totally forgot to buy some on my way here.”

“Well, like I said, we’ve got lots of leftovers.” I put my mug down and grabbed him a plate, a fork, and a knife. “Dig in,” I said handing them over to him.

“Thank you so much; I’m going to owe you.” He grinned as he dug into the leftover Chinese.

“So, are you from around here?” Katie went right to the questions.

“Not really, a few hours away, but my friend lives down the block; it’s how I found out about this place.” Katie nodded. I could tell she was trying to get his life story from him. I was just interested to see how that went.

As it turns out, it went pretty well. Between myself and Katie we knew just how to ask the right questions, and I think Jake was eager to open up about what he’d been through these past couple years. He hadn’t minded showing us the cuts on his arm from three years ago or telling us all about his dysfunctional relationship that he’d just gotten out of—and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he was getting help for everything he was going through.

He stayed for three hours until finally calling it quits. He thanked us again for the food and promised pizza would be on him sometime—once he actually got settled in.

After he left, so did Katie, she had early classes, and I had to be up at a reasonable time, so I was more than happy to see them both off.

Right before bed, I checked my phone. My brow furrowed. How hadn’t I seen it go off?

How is your night going?

It was sent two hours ago. The next one was only an hour ago.

Hope your night was good, and you & Katie had lots of fun. See you tomorrow. Miss you babe.

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. How hadn’t I heard my phone go off?

I lay in bed feeling guilty and depressed that I hadn’t had a chance to talk to him—but I didn’t dare text back in case he was already asleep.