Chapter Seven

But it kept beating.

“Holy shit,” I whispered. My heart was still beating. It was racing, but it was still beating.

Keith dropped to the ground, blood pooling around him

Rebecca gasped, stumbling over her feet as she closed the distance between us.

I caught her in my arms as sobs escaped her.

*

I know it was lame; I know I should have quit crying. I mean I was alive, that had to count for something. Dean’s arms wrapped around me.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered. “It’s okay.” His arms held me tightly, and his warmth comforted me a little, but not much. My body shook vigorously. I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, but it didn’t seem to do any good.

I took a deep breath pulling away from him.

“H-I thought he was going to kill me.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen,” he said, pulled me back into his arms.

“Ma’am ...” I turned to see who had spoken to me.

A young police officer was standing there, and I gave him a soft smile. “H-hi.”

“Ma’am, are you alright? Do you need anything?”

“I … no … no, thank you … I ...” I wanted to say I was okay, but I couldn’t bring myself to, so I just smiled a little.

Dean cleared his throat. “I um, we’ll need to give statements, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to go sit down if that’s okay?”

“Of course.”

Dean led me away from everything going on. My body still shook, and as I walked, my legs wobbled and for a flash of a second I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to continue.

Dean held me close to him.

“You need to explain everything to me.” I meant for my voice to come out strong and like maybe I wasn’t half as fucked as I was going to be. I bit my lip as we made our way through the back door of the casino and towards the office.

“Oh, my God.” Melina came running to us. She took my free arm and pulled me close to her. “What happened? Everyone is talking about it. Everyone says there was a big shootout out back. Is everything okay? Is Keith …?”

“No. He’s alive.”

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. He wasn’t dead?

“But … I heard gunshots?”

“They shot him in the leg. I think he passed out, but I have no clue how he’d actually be dead.”

We made our way into the office, and Dean guided me down to a chair.

Melina held something out to me. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“No.” My voice was weak. “I … he …” Had he actually seemed nice? He didn’t seem evil. I guess. “I’m fine.”

Dean stood, whispered something to Melina and then left the room. Melina nodded and crouched down beside me. “What can I do?”

I shook my head, mostly because I didn’t know what else I was supposed to say. What could she say to me? There wasn’t anything anyone could do, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t seem to stop shaking.

*

“Alright, anything else?”

“No, thank you.” After everything, and all the history between Keith and I, the cops were kind enough to let Rebecca go without giving a statement. I promised them that if she was up for it, we’d stop by the police station and give a statement later on. Making my way back to the office, I opened the door quietly. Melina glanced at me but didn’t say a word. I cleared my throat. Rebecca turned to look at me. “Is … is everything okay?” Her eyes were red and puffy from the tears.

“Yes. Everything’s fine. I spoke to the police, and they are not in need of your statement. Why don’t you get your things, and I can take you home?” I turned my attention to Melina. “You’re fine running this place, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. And the police want to see the video tapes from today as well. I told them you would give them whatever they want.”

“What’s happening to Keith?”

“He’s going to jail, and if I testify, he won’t be getting out for a very long time.” I felt bad saying it—well part of me did. The other part was thrilled I’d never have to worry about him again. I made my way into the room and helped Becca to her feet. The second she was standing, she pulled away from me and held her head high. I chewed the inside of my cheek softly. What had Keith told her about me? Would he have lied? Did he tell her that I kissed Jess? I should have told her everything before. If I’d told her, I wouldn’t need to worry about what some psycho told her. Now I had to worry about whether or not she’d believe me when I told her the truth. I reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away.

“I can go home right?”

“Yea, let me take you … please?”

She gave me a soft nod. “Alright.”

Together, she and I made our way out the back door and into an alleyway. We didn’t go towards the cop cars or the news reporters. Instead, we went around the front to my car in total silence.

*

“At least this will be good for business.” I laughed dryly. I felt stupid the second it came out, but I took a deep breath and pretended I hadn’t actually said it as we stopped in front of his car and I opened the passenger side door.

Truth was, right now, I didn’t think I was in any state to drive, and it was probably ten times better that I wasn’t behind a wheel. As Dean slid into the seat beside me, I looked at him. “Don’t I have to give a statement?”

“No … after everything … they didn’t feel you needed to give a statement. They said if you’re feeling up to it we can stop by the police station, and you can give one later, but with his past … they said …” He trailed off.

“He said you killed his sister.”

It came out a lot louder than I thought it would. I thought it was going to barely be a whisper, but when I spoke, my voice almost sounded normal. “Why would he say that?”

He owed me the truth. Not some articles I’d read online or some old pictures of her. I needed to hear about what happened from him, and if he couldn’t give me that, then there was no point in even staying in this car with him right now.

Dean swallowed dryly, gunning the engine.

“You asked if this had to do with Jess, you were right to ask. I don’t know how you know about her, and I don’t want to know, but yes, this was about her.”

We pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards my place.

“Does that mean you’re going to tell me what happened?”

“Yes.” I took a deep breath waiting. “Jessica and I met when I was much younger. Twenty to be exact. We were friends for a couple years, but after a night we went out with some friends; well, things happened, and when we woke up next to each other, we realized that what we thought would be a mistake was actually a blessing. We were together for three years before we decided to go into business together. It wasn’t the only thing we were planning to do together … we were planning our life together, and then one night …” He laughed bitterly. “I got jealous. I asked her if she was fucking some guy who was working at the casino. He had such a big crush on her, and she insisted they were only friends. I honestly don’t know if that is true or not, but I told her she was a liar, and she walked out on me. She told me that if I wasn’t going to be respectful, she wasn’t going to stick around. It was after midnight and she … I don’t know what she did. She must have gone for a walk. I know she always liked to walk to clear her head.”

“And that’s when she died.” I didn’t need him to say that part.

“Yes.”

I nodded, watching Dean. His eyes watered over as he turned onto my street.

“Of course, the cops thought it was me at first.” He laughed humorlessly again. “They ruled me out quickly, though … I’m not sure why. They wouldn’t tell me. They just asked for a DNA sample, which I gladly gave up, and then they told me that I’d been ruled out. But it was months before they ruled me out, and Keith got it in his head that I had killed his sister.” Dean swallowed dryly, slowing to a stop in front of my house. “He wouldn’t give it up, even after the cops told him it wasn’t me and that they were looking at other people in the case.”

“Did they ever find who did it?”

“Not that I know of.” Dean shrugged. “When the cops wouldn’t arrest me, Keith took it upon himself to make sure I paid for Jessica’s death, and I deserved the beating I got. It put me in the hospital for a few weeks, but I deserved it. If I hadn’t been jealous … if I’d gone after her. But I was too stupid. I thought she only needed time to calm down …”

“You couldn’t have known.” I reached out and touched his arm. He looked at me, a single tear running down his cheek.

“I should have been careful, nonetheless. Anyways, Keith went into treatment for it for a while, and I thought it was best for everyone if I moved. So I moved a couple hours away, and Melina came with me, she was one of Jessica’s best friends … in an odd way. But when Keith got out of treatment again, he came after me. I ended out getting a restraining order, but it didn’t do much good. He went to jail for a couple of months and … well, I moved again. This time, I he didn’t find me, and I thought for a little while that things were going to be okay. The entire time I kept running casinos, buying more and building them up—after all, I thought that’s what Jessica would want me to do …” He paused and took a deep breath. “And well, fast forward, and I moved here … I met you and fell in love and thought everything was going to be normal, but I was so fucking wrong. I dragged you into all of this, and if I’d been willing to tell you the truth, none of this would have happened. I let you walk away just like I let Jessica walk away, and it almost got you killed.”

*

I was beginning to think I was the issue here. Sure, I hadn’t pulled either of the triggers, but I was still the cause of it. If I’d just gone after Jessica all those years ago, I would have been there to protect her. If I had told Rebecca the truth from the get go, she wouldn’t have walked away from me.

“You can’t blame yourself for this.” Rebecca reached out and touched my arm gently. “Come inside with me; let me make you some hot chocolate.” I stared at her. She gave me a soft smile and unbuckled her seat belt. “Come on, I’m not getting out of this car until you’re out.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I unbuckled myself and popped the door open.

“Good!” She sounded happy as we stepped out of the car, and she circled around to meet me. She took my hand and headed for the door. My fingers tightened around her, and I pulled her back to me, into a hug.

She wasn’t supposed to be making me feel better right now. She was supposed to be scared of me, traumatized for what had just happened to her and wanting to kill me for letting it happen. Why was she being so kind?

I swallowed dryly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, holding me tightly for a second before pulling away. “Now, come on.”

This time, I let her pull me towards the door and up the stairs to her apartment. I felt another tear run down my cheek, staring at the woman as she busied herself in the kitchen and got the hot chocolate ready.

I’d gotten Jessica killed, and I’d almost killed Rebecca. And here she sat getting me hot chocolate. Shouldn’t I break things off with her or something? Tell her there was no point in being around me and that she should get as far away from me as she could? I knew that was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

*

I handed him a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

It was silly, but being back in my own home and making Dean hot chocolate made me feel almost calm. Like I was almost normal. I froze as I looked Dean over. He’d been crying. His eyes were red to prove it, but it wasn’t the way he looked. It was something that he had said to me in the car.

“You said you love me.” It wasn’t a statement, but it came out like one.

“I did.” His eyes locked on mine.

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course, I did.” He took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.”

I swallowed dryly. Where did we go from there? I opened my mouth to ask but couldn’t bring myself to.

“So, how about we get away for a couple days? Just the two of us.” It was as if he’d been reading my mind.

“What about this weekend?”

“Well, we could use the help at the weekend, and honestly I should be there, but if you want to get on a flight right now, you just tell me, and we’ll say fuck it to everyone.”

“But it’s your casino, and you’ve been leading up to this like crazy.”

“I know, but fuck it. Doesn’t matter. Melina can do it.”

“No. I can’t make you do that.” I shook my head.

“Alright, good. That will give us time to book somewhere nice.” He gave me a soft smile as he pulled out his phone. “How about Paris? Or should we do Japan? Italy? Pick somewhere. Where have you always wanted to go?”

I mulled it over. Was he actually considering this?

“Are … are you actually serious about this?”

“Of course.” I stared at him blankly. “So, where do you want to go?”

“Um … how about Italy?” I swallowed dryly, my heart suddenly racing. Dean nodded, but he didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. Then he glanced up at me. “Well, tickets are booked for Monday night, how’s that sound?”

“Made up,” I admitted. “Unbelievable, like something out of a movie or a book.”

Dean grinned. “I like that. My goal is going to be to treat you like you’re out of a romance novel.” His grin widened.

I laughed softly as I took a sip of hot chocolate and stared at the man in front of me. After the day I’d had … I honestly had no clue how to feel. I didn’t know if I should be mad at him—right? But how could I blame him for his past? I mean, after all, I had my own. For a split second, I thought of Brad. A shudder ran down my spine, but I don’t think Dean noticed.

“So, I guess I’d better get packing.” I grinned, not fully believing that I’d be on a flight to Italy on Monday night. But I did know that wherever I would be on Monday night, I wanted it to be with Dean because despite everything that happened today, I cared about him a lot. And for some reason, I would never be able to figure out he loved me.