Chapter Four

We spent three hours at the office after closing hours, and Becca didn’t complain once. Actually, she’d been a hell of a helping hand.

“I mean it, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I know.” She beamed. “I’m just glad you let me help.” She spun to face me as we entered my house and kicked off her shoes, pulling me into her arms and kissing me before breaking away. “So, did you get a chance to look at those papers that she gave us?” she asked, getting them out of her purse. Since she had them the entire time, I guessed she knew the answer, but I didn’t say anything. She kept talking anyways. “Some of it actually isn’t that bad.” Handing me the list, she let out a yawn.

I didn’t look at them; instead, I focused on her. “Tired?”

“Yea, I think I’m going to go to bed.”

I followed her as she headed into the bedroom. “I’m going to stay up a little longer, alright?”

“For sure.” She slipped out of her shirt and tossed it down onto the floor. I closed the distance between us, my hands touching the small of her back and pulling her close to me. She let out a soft moan as my lips brushed her neck, pushing her hair out of the way. “You shouldn’t tease me.”

Her hand touched my hip as she leaned against me.

“Who said anything about teasing?” I pushed her down onto the bed gently and she grinned as I crawled on top of her.

My lips brushed their way up her back ever so gently. I could feel the blood flow change in my body, but sex was the last thing I wanted right now.

I sat up, straddling her legs, and my knuckles pressed into her skin gently between her shoulder blades. She sucked in a deep breath before letting out a soft moan.

“Oh, God,” she whispered as my knuckles worked over her back gently. “I didn’t realize I was going to get a massage.”

“I figured with how hard you’re working, you could use one, and you more than deserve it.”

I heard her laugh gently. “I’m glad you think so.”

“I do.”

I really did. There was no doubt in my mind she was working her ass off, and I knew that was my fault on some level because if we weren’t together, she wouldn’t be this dedicated to proving that she could get the work done. And she wouldn’t be going through all this mental bullshit that you brought on. I hated myself for thinking it, not because of the thoughts themselves, but because they were true.

We sat there in silence for a while as I massaged her, but soon I realized the deep breathing coming from under me. I slipped off her silently, trying not to wake her as I grabbed the blankets and pulled them over her body, making a mental note to grab myself another blanket before coming to bed.

As I left the bedroom, I pulled the papers she had given me from my pocket and looked at them while making my way to the island. Normally, I would check email or do last minute work that I forgot to do at the office. I glanced at the clock and let out a deep breath, closing my eyes. We were going to be opening the casino up later next month, and in turn, we’d be staying open later; by this time next month, we’d still be at the casino wrapping things up. I closed my eyes, letting out a deep breath and resting my head in the palm of my hands.

I didn’t realize just how tense I was until I started trying to relax and found it almost impossible.

Since it wasn’t working, I shook it off and looked down at the paper on top of the other four from Becca’s therapist. I took a deep breath and focused on reading it, despite the fact of wanting nothing more than to join her in bed right now.

Five Quick Tips for Couples.

When you start dating someone, often it’s instant. It’s like a spark that brings you together, and the longer you are together, sometimes that spark fades. That’s okay.

When we are with someone for a lengthy period, sometimes we forget to provide the attention that we used to give them. Life gets busy, it gets in the way, and we forget, or we just put it off, telling ourselves that we will ‘do it later’ or ‘do it on the weekend’, but when we do that, we just keep putting off spending time with our partner, taking an interest in them and making them feel like they are wanted.

These five quick tips (just like your choice to come to counseling with them) are made to be an easy reminder for yourself and your partner that you love them, and you don’t want anyone else. That you have committed yourself to them.

1. Today, find something that you and your partner never agree on. Talk to them about whatever it is and ask them to come up with a compromise. Work together to come up with three options.
2. Catch your partner doing something good! Something you know they always do or something they are doing to surprise you; whatever it is, catch them and validate them. Let them know how much it means to you that they did this for you.
3. Surprise your partner with something small today. Something thoughtful will always be better than something expensive. It doesn’t have to be lavish to let your partner know you were thinking about them.
4. Make time for your partner today. When you are relaxing at the end of the day with the TV on, turn it off and turn your attention to your partner, ask them about their day and really listen. Ask follow up questions.
5. Learn to listen. Not just with your ears but with your eyes as well. Learn how your partner reacts when they are upset. Learn what gives them away when they are angry- not so you can hold it against them but so you can help to understand them, and you clear up communication errors. Listen to your partner as they talk and ask them follow up questions that will move the conversation along; find out how you can help them and how you can help them help themselves.

TV and media give us this idea that relationships are easy, or that if they aren’t, then they are not meant to be, but that is not the case. The truth is that every relationship is hard—be it sexual or otherwise. When you join two lives together, it is not easy; it takes years of work and often more than a few bumps in the road to make things work. What matters is that both you and your partner are committed to making this work, and that will be the deciding factor.

With hard work and the tools provided to you by A New Way therapy group, you will be able to overcome any of your issues.

I stared at the paper, taking it all in. I really did hope that we could make it through this. I really, really hoped we could. I’m going to do every fucking thing on this list tomorrow, I promised myself.

But right now, it was bedtime. I should have stayed up a little longer and gotten a little extra work done so I could get a jumpstart on tomorrow, but I didn’t care. I was going to bed. After all, a guy had to pamper himself every now and then, right?