Then
“Now, listen.” Quinn glanced over at me as we walked through the dimming twilight from the parking lot toward the dormitory where Leo lived. “I don’t want you to worry about me abandoning you this weekend. You know I can’t wait to see Leo, and yeah, I’m planning to spend as much time with him as I can, but you drove all the way down here with me. We can do things together. You can hang out with us as much as you want.”
“Kinky, Quinn.” I winked at her. “But I’m not into threesomes. Or even more-somes.”
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I gave her a quick side-hug. “And I love you for worrying about it. But I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. And I plan to have some fun myself with some of these fine-looking Carolina guys. I mean, could there be a better scenario? I’m only here for a weekend, and I’m not asking for commitment or even a phone number. I love being a free agent.”
“Maybe Leo can introduce you to someone nice.” Quinn acted as though she hadn’t heard me. “You know, a guy who you can trust to treat you well.” She was quiet for a minute. “It’s a shame that Matt is his roommate. I wish he didn’t live with him, though I can’t say that to Leo.”
“I could never understand how those two were friends.” I wrinkled my nose. “Matt Lampert was always such a dick, and once I got to know Leo, I realized how great he is. How the hell does he stand sharing a room with Matt?”
Quinn sighed. “I ask myself that all the time. I think on some level, he feels sorry for Matt. It’s not like he doesn’t realize what a jerk he is, but he always tells me that there’s more to him than I see. I don’t know. What I DO know is that Matt hates me. So if we happen to run into him this weekend, don’t take it personally if he’s rude to you, too. Guilt by association and all that.”
I laughed. “Quinn, I didn’t give a shit what Matt Lampert thought about me when we were in high school together. What makes you think I’d care now?”
“True. But forewarned is forearmed, yada, yada. Anyway, there’re definitely a lot of fish in the sea down here, so you shouldn’t have to worry about Matt at all.”
Any reply I might have made was lost, because the next moment, Quinn gave a cry and darted forward to where Leo waited on the sidewalk ahead of us. For the next few minutes, I was treated to a front-seat view of their tender reconciliation . . . which was kind of sweet and kind of icky. If it had been anyone else, I probably would’ve been sticking my finger down my throat, gagging.
Once they’d gotten their fill of each other—well, for now at least—we headed upstairs to Leo’s room. On the way up, we met some of his fellow football players, and all I could think was . . . yes!!!! I couldn’t wait to let loose and have some fun with people I never had to see again.
I was just defending my no-strings sex fun to Quinn when we opened the door to Leo’s room—and there stood Matt Lampert. I had a visceral reaction to him at first; all I could hear was his jeering voice in my mind, and all I could see was the perpetual cocky expression he used to wear.
But this Matt was different. He was teasing and charming, flirting with me and being at least tolerant of Quinn, though I caught a few of the saltier barbs he tossed her way. Leo didn’t put up with any of his shit, though, and I was glad to see that. I was also somewhat relieved that Matt didn’t leave with us when we left to go eat dinner.
After we ate, Leo took us to a bar and mini-dance club called Moonie’s. As promised, a bunch of the Carolina football players were there, and I hit the dance floor with them right away, shaking my ass, my boobs and everything else I had. I didn’t do any slow dances; instead, I boogied in groups of other girls and guys, screaming along to the words when I knew them.
After several songs, I dashed away to toss back the drink Quinn and Leo had ordered for me. They sat glued together at the huge booth we’d appropriated, and some other friends of Leo’s had joined them. I was just chatting with Quinn when a man I hadn’t met yet wandered over.
In some ways, this guy was the same as all the other football players I’d already gotten to know. But there was a subtle difference in the way he held himself and in the intensity of his green eyes . . . and when he grinned and that dimple popped out? Baby. My heart thumped in a way I recognized as a huge blinking DANGER sign.
That was why I acted like a total hypocrite, talking smack and sneering at him for being a football player. Here I was partying happily with his teammates, yet I sniped at Tate Durham—because he scared the hell out of me from the first words he spoke directly my way.
“Hey. Welcome to Carolina.”
I nodded. “Thanks.” Pretending I hadn’t noticed much about him up until now, I remarked, “You’re a football player, too?”
Tate shifted his weight and hooked his thumbs in the belt loops at the front of his jeans. “Guilty. You a fan?”
Of course, I knew what he meant, but I played obtuse anyway. “Of you? Seriously, dude. I don’t know who you are. I didn’t even hear your name.”
But what I said didn’t seem to bother Tate. He cocked his head, looking at me with a half-smile. “I meant, a fan of the game. I don’t have any delusions of grandeur, sugar.”
I felt my cheeks go warm, and my reply was a knee-jerk defense mechanism. “I appreciate football as a sport, yeah. I think most of the people who play it are assholes, though.” As the words tumbled off my tongue, I remembered that my best friend was in love with one of those dudes I’d just labeled assholes. Scrambling, I added, “With a few possible exceptions.”
Tate shrugged, and I didn’t miss how the movement of his arm made the material of his shirt cling to his muscled broad chest. “Hey, no arguments here. No one knows better than football players what dicks we can all be.” He grinned again, and dammit, there was that fucking dimple again. “But not all of us are that way all the time.”
I swallowed hard.“Yeah? In my experience, you’re all nice eye-candy and decent dancing partners. You’re good for fun, as far as that goes.”
“And some of us might be able to take it farther than fun.” Tate spoke low, and he held my eyes with his own. “If we had the right incentives.”
I didn’t know how to answer that. My immediate reaction was to flee, but I wasn’t going to be a wuss and go running away from confrontation, just because there was some kind of energy buzzing between this guy and me.
Before I could think of some way to ease away gracefully, Quinn spoke again. “Tate, why don’t you join us here? There’s space. And Gia, sit down, girl. Catch your breath. You were rocking it pretty hard out there with the guys.”
“I’m not ready to sit down yet. Come dance with me.” I stuck out my lip and treated Quinn to my best pleading look. “The music is smokin’.”
She shook her head. “I want to stay here with Leo. Go on, have fun. I’m enjoying watching you.”
I sighed. “Okay. I guess at least one of us should be enjoying herself.”
“Watch it, chick. I’m enjoying myself just fine here, thanks.”
“Whatever.” I let my gaze run over Tate again, but the need to get away from him was urging me to move. “See you boys later.”
Relief flooded over me as I joined my friends back on the dance floor—or at least it did until the music shifted down to a slow dance. I wrinkled my nose, grimacing, and made as if to head back to the booth, but Kevin, one of the football players, caught my arm and persuaded me to stay out with him.
Neither of us was taking the dance seriously; Kevin shuffled his feet back and forth like a kid at his first junior high party. He looked ridiculous, and I was laughing so hard that I could barely stand. When he spun me, I lost my balance, and for a second, I thought I was going to end up sprawled on the floor.
It might have been better for me if I had, because the arms that caught me and held me close to his body belonged to none other than Matt Lampert. I tossed my head and tried to play it off, pulling away, but Matt held me by the upper arms, and his eyes as they stared down into my face were serious and hungry.
“Dance with me,” he murmured, and then he didn’t give me the chance to say no. His arms slid around my waist. He pressed my hips against his so that there was no mistaking his interest. He didn’t try to hide the way he stared at my boobs, either.
“I don’t like to slow dance,” I blurted out.
Matt’s fingers spread on my lower back so that the tips of them covered my ass. “Don’t think of this as a dance. Think of it as . . . foreplay.” He eased his other hand between us, and cupped one of my breasts. His thumb stroked my aching nipple through the thin fabric of my dress.
“What are you doing?” If I’d been flushed before when Tate was talking to me, now I was positive my face was beet red. “People can see.”
“No, they can’t. It’s dark, and no one’s paying attention to us, anyway.” He pinched my nipple, and my knees threaten to buckle. “Where are you staying tonight?”
“Ummm . . .” I couldn’t remember my name just now, let alone where I was planning to sleep.
“Leo told me I have to stay away from our room, because he wants Quinn in his bed. So I figured you have space wherever you two are supposed to be sleeping, right?”
I swallowed. “We have a hotel room just off campus. Quinn said they can drop me off there, or one of Leo’s friends will drive me, if I’m not ready to leave when Leo and Quinn go.”
“That’s convenient. It just so happens that I’m one of Leo’s friends.” Matt moved his hand to my other boob. “Want some company?”
I knew I should say no. I knew it with crystal clarity. Saying yes would be a mistake of monumental proportions. But I couldn’t make my lips form the denial. Instead, I nodded.
“I want you to know what’s going to happen if I stay with you.” He bent his head down over my neck and spoke directly into my ear. “I’m going to fuck you. First time you’ll be on your knees with my dick down your throat before I take you up against the door to the room. Second time, you’ll bend over a table or desk, and I’ll pound you from behind. And then maybe we’ll try the bed, and I’ll eat you out until you scream yourself hoarse.”
I knew I should be outraged and horrified by Matt’s words. I knew I should slap his face and walk away, or at the very least, tell him what I thought of his filthy mouth. But the reality was that I was too turned on to do any of that. Desire pooled between my legs, almost as though he’d already touched me there. So instead of shutting him down in a truly spectacular way, I simply nodded and let him lead me off the dance floor and out of the bar, into the night.
Later, I’d wonder if that was the moment I’d stepped onto the path that screwed up my life for so many years, and I told myself that if I had it to do over again, I’d walk away. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I’d have had that strength, even if I knew all the pain that would follow.