“This was one of our first trips to Disneyland,” my father said as he pointed to the photo album. Harper was completely enraptured with him. He was a charming son-of-a-bitch, but I wished she didn’t fall for his tricks so easily.

They’d continued with their daily lunches the last few weeks, under my supervision, of course. I expected Dad to have a temper tantrum and call the whole thing off, but no such luck. Every fucking day, I took off from work to come home and make lunch and listen to his mindless drivel.

We never spoke. Correction, I never so much as nodded when he tried to engage me. The game he played was as old as the hills, and I wasn’t falling for his act.

“Where’s Jack?” Harper said, and I sighed and shook my fucking head. Here it came.

Dad laughed his ass off as he said, “Jack was terrified of mascots. The kid would not stop screaming, so Elaine and I took turns staying in the hotel with him.”

Mascots were fucking creepy as hell. Whose bright idea was it to make some hideous costume and stuff a human inside? It’s just unnatural.

Harper joined him in laughing her ass off as well. Jesus. “Why were you so scared, Jack?” she asked, wiping under her eyes. Each time my father was here, she would try to get me talking. Most times, I’d just give her a one word answer and go to the bedroom to finish my lunch.

“Are you kidding me? I think the real question should be why aren’t more people frightened?” I said, and she giggled and took another bite of the three cheese pasta.

“It was fine. His sister and brother teased him, but in a loving way, right, Jack?” John directed his question to me. I was a dick, but I also didn’t want to ruin Harper’s fun.

“If you call them threatening to leave me with Santa every time we went to the mall in December, loving,” I muttered, and Harper howled and doubled over.

“Oh my God, they were terrible. That’s so mean,” she said but continued laughing. My eyes narrowed playfully at her, but I still grinned.

“I forgot about that. They were little jerks sometimes,” Dad said, grabbing another piece of garlic bread. “Man, I’ve missed your cooking, Son. Your mother made some great meals, but yours were always on a completely different level.” He winked at me. What the fuck? Did he just compliment me? That makes exactly once that he’s ever said one positive thing about my food. I was too shocked to answer, so I stood there, staring at the stranger on my couch.

My couch? Harper’s couch, but I’d be replacing it soon enough.

The video continued to run on Dad’s laptop. I’d never seen this particular video before, and I was ashamed at how captivated I was watching young Blake and Iris run around and get on the different rides. My mind kept telling me to leave, but my heart ruled on this current battle.

Mom had shut off the camera as they left the park but turned it on again before they walked through the hotel door. “Let’s surprise Dad and Jacky,” she whispered, and Blake and Iris giggled at the new secret game. Iris bounced around in circles, unable to control her excitement. She opened the door, and all we could see were white bed sheets spread out all over the place.

“Cool,” my siblings shouted as they dropped to the floor and crawled under the massive tent.

“John, what have you done?” my mother admonished. The screen dropped and twisted this way and that before it focused on my dad and me sitting amongst a mess of pillows, chip bags, and cookies.

I had a messy cookie face and a huge smile. Dad had bought a checkers board game from the gift shop, and we played that for hours. “How was your day?” he asked the older two children, and they started begging to join the game. “I’m busy playing with the little man. You two had your fun. Now skedaddle until we’re done with our game.”

“But this is waaaay more fun than we had.” Iris pouted and forcefully crossed her arms.

“Yeah, why does bean-head get to do all the good stuff, just because he’s scared of stupid mascots?” Blake yelled and cuffed me up the side of the head.

Like a flash of lightning, Dad seized Blake’s hand and said in a stern voice, “Apologize, or you and I are going for a walk.” That was dad-speak for shut the hell up or get your ass smacked. The screen went black.

Silence ensued for a good minute after the video ended. Emotions I’d long forgotten came bubbling up to the surface, and I had to glance away. Dad always played board games and cards with me. The other two were never interested in joining in unless it was to cause a ruckus. Shit. I had those feelings locked up tight until I saw that damn fort.

“Have you spoken to Elaine at all?” Harper asked him, changing the subject.

He smiled and looked at her with stars in his eyes. “Yesterday. I convinced her to go out for supper with me tonight.” What the fuck? A pain shot through my chest. Mom was caving? My heart raced, but I managed to keep quiet.

“She never said a word to me when I called her this morning,” Harper replied, placing her hand on his arm. I may have growled under my breath.

“She wasn’t exactly gung-ho, but I convinced her to hear me out.”

“Are you going to tell her about going to counseling?” she asked. Counseling? Since when would my father do something like that? He was perfect, after all.

“I’m going to tell her everything, if she’ll listen.”

“Even about quitting the firm? Does she know yet?”

“I haven’t told her,” he said and sighed. “And I doubt she’s seen Bill around.” Wait. Did she just say, quitting the firm? My jaw dropped open on its own accord. He quit his firm? How did you even do that? And what did Iris and Blake have to say about that?

“She’s going to freak out. I just know it,” Harper said and gave him a quick hug. Fuck, whenever she touched that man, I wanted to rip his head clear off.

“I really hope so, sweetheart,” he said and kissed the top of her head, and I may have growled again.

“You quit the firm?” I asked him the first question I had in years.

He set Harper aside and stood. “I did. Never should have started it to begin with. That place stole years from me…and from you kids and your mother. I was never around, and it’s the biggest regret of my life.” His admissions knocked the wind right out of me.

“I’ve got to get back to work. Busy day. Bye, Jack. Good luck tonight, John.” Then Harper vanished into thin air. Air that I needed in my lungs.

“So, you quit as a way to get Mom back?” I asked and stepped closer to him.

“I quit because it was the right thing to do. Bill took me back, part-time. We’ll see how it goes. It’s only been a few weeks, but I think he’s happy with me. And I love the work. I always did,” he said and jammed his hands into his pockets.

“Bill?” I squinted, trying like hell to remember who Bill was.

“From the child advocacy office. We started it with him years ago. You’ve heard us talk about it.” My head spun, and I needed to sit, but I didn’t want to give him the upper hand. I remembered perfectly who Bill was, and that’s why I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. There was a picture on the wall of the ribbon cutting. All three of us kids were so young then. It was mom’s favorite. She’d stop and look at it several times a day, daydreaming. She often told me stories about those days while we cooked together.

After a few deep breaths, I cocked my head to the side and asked, “Are you insane?”

“Not anymore,” he whispered. “I lost my whole world, Son. Everything,” he choked out, and his eyes filled with unshed tears. “Your mother, you, Iris, and Blake. My grandkids don’t even know me.” He shook his head and took another step toward me.

“It was your fucking choice to cut me out of your life, Father,” I blew back at him.

“I was so wrong, Son. So wrong. I tried my best to save you from making a huge mistake. You had the most promising career in law right in front of you. The last thing I wanted you to do was throw it all away and take a risk in something I knew nothing about. Having you kids take over for me was always my dream, but now I know how stupid that was. You’ve made your own way in the world, Jack, and that takes a hell of a lot more balls and strength. I can never tell you how sorry I am. It sounds futile after all the damage I’ve caused. But, Son,” he stepped in close and lowered his voice, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for not being there for your little league games. I’m sorry for not coming to watch you when you were the lead in your high school plays. I’m sorry for being an ignorant, belittling pig and never supporting your dreams. It was wrong, and there’s no way I can go back and fix the mess I made.”