I was ice.

I couldn’t move or speak, and it was as if death had taken me on the spot, and I now stood as a spirit. I stared at Mason, feeling faint. After all Edward and I had been through, there was worse?

“I am not married,” Edward said with a snarl.

“Then you did not marry Bertha Mason, my sister, ten years ago? I was there to see it, so I assume you are calling me a liar. Don’t you worry, Rochester, I have the evidence to back up my claims. Bertha is still living, or at least, she was when I last visited, and I hope she is still breathing when I see her next.”

Was he talking about when he came to Thornfield? When he was attacked? There was no one there with that name. I glanced between Mason and Edward, who were staring each other down with such contempt I’d never seen before. I knew all the souls who lived in that old hotel. Every single one!

Edward glared at Mason with such fury his stormy eyes were black, and his cheeks were red. He was a volcano on the brink of exploding, and I trembled in fear. Whatever happened next would not be pretty.

Abruptly, he stirred, lifted his strong arm, and struck. Mason shrank away, but it was not enough to stop Edward’s fist colliding with his cheek, and he was sent sprawling across the floor of the church.

I stood open mouthed in shock, the priest murmuring a prayer beside me as Edward grasped Mason’s shirt and lifted him clear off the floor as if he weighed nothing at all.

“How dare you come here and accuse me!” he roared in the man’s face. “You know nothing, Mason!”

“I know if you cast her out, she’ll be done for!” he yelled back, his cheek already turning crimson from the blow. “It’ll be her death, Edward! Do you want to be responsible for that?”

I listened to the exchange, not knowing what to do. Should I run? Should I stand and demand answers? Should I break down in tears? Should I disappear as I’d been trying to do for months? This was a grievous harm against my soul. I’d been pulled from one corner to another, and I was losing strength. Soon, I’d be ripped apart, and what would happen to me then?

This quarrel was beyond me. It appeared I was a pawn in a game I had no business being a part of. Well, in that case, I would remove myself from this show of despicable violence—in a church, no less!—and be done with it all.

I kicked off the annoying high-heeled shoes Alice had made me wear, picked them up, and ran barefoot down the aisle, ignoring Edward and Mason, who had begun to exchange more blows. Grasping the driver’s arm, I hauled him upright.

“Take be back to Thornfield,” I ordered. “At once.”

He glanced uneasily at the two men in the midst of their fistfight and at the priest who had begun to flail wildly in an attempt to pull them apart and then followed me outside to the car.

Outside, the scant sunshine had all but disappeared, the scene apt for the revelation that had been unearthed inside. The wind had an unearthly chill to it as my bare feet padded along the path, tiny rocks pressing painfully into my flesh.

Crossing the gutter gingerly, I slid into the back of the car as the driver brought it to life. Glancing at the church, I saw Edward running from the building, aiming directly for me.

“Go,” I said to the driver, throwing the shoes onto the seat next to me. “Quickly.”

I flipped the central locking just as Edward smacked his palm against the window. “Jane!”

“Drive,” I said, ignoring the beast outside. “Let him walk his rage off. I want nothing to do with him.”

Thankfully, he obeyed my instruction, and we moved off, leaving the master on the side of the road with his hands fisted into his hair and his shirt and tie askew.

I didn’t look back.

I had to be a machine without feeling. I had to push it all away and forge ahead. I had to rebuild my walls and protect my soul at all costs. He was already married. Married.

As the car inched closer to Thornfield, I rested my head in my hands and swallowed my sobs. It was madness. This whole place, this world, it was all madness! To think this was his secret? Such a game he’d been playing! All of us had been pawns on the ultimate chessboard. Even Blanche, who had attacked me so callously, had been a piece on the board. What for? What for?

What had I done?

“Miss,” a voice said, coaxing me back to the present. “We’ve arrived.”

Coming to life, I wrenched open the door and hurled myself out. The moment I slammed the door behind me, the driver departed, most likely going back to the village to collect Edward.

What would I do when Edward came back? I didn’t want to be anywhere he could find me when he returned. I didn’t want to see him at all.

Pushing through the front door, my feet smarting from their walk across the gravel, a smiling Alice greeted me, but when she saw my solitary figure, her excitement faded.

“Jane?” she asked, her cheeks paling. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing I didn’t expect deep down,” I shot back, fending off tears. “You were right to warn me, Alice. I didn’t want to listen. I was stubborn. I thought I could help him, I thought my love would be enough, but I fear he has hurt me too gravely.”

“The wedding?”

I shook my head. No.

“Rocky?”

“I took the car and left him at the church.”

Alice frowned, pondering the situation. She glanced outside before taking my arm. “Come, let’s get you out of those clothes.”

I allowed her to lead me upstairs and into the east wing, my energy depleting fast. My mind swirled, my ire was at an all-time high, my heart was broken, and all I could think about was keeping myself together. I had no plan for what do next. Considering that all I’d been thinking about these past few days were all the possibilities my renewed romance with Edward Rochester had brought about, figuring out what I was going to do without him had me reeling. Deep down, I knew I’d lingered in hopes he would come back to me, but never in my life did I think it would be like this.

The pain of his betrayal was insurmountable.

My room felt entirely different when we entered. In fact, the whole hotel felt like an alien landscape full of smoke and mirrors. It was a house of horrors.

I unzipped the dress with shaking fingers, my throat burning with unshed tears. The cream fabric fell to the floor, and I stepped out of it. I didn’t care about my modesty in front of my friend—if I could still call her that. All I cared about was that the dress was removed and with it the traces of the events at the church, but it didn’t seem to help. I could still feel the bruises darkening on my heart.

“The more I think about it, the more it all adds up,” I declared. “His anger at Mason, and the lengths he went to try to keep our relationship a secret. The anger he showed today was devastating. He couldn’t love because he was already claimed in the eyes of the law. I was such a fool!”

Alice shifted uneasily. “What do you mean?”

“He is already married!” I declared, picking up the dress and hurling it across the room.

“Jane, please, calm down,” she said. “He’s not married. I’ve never heard such a thing!”

“He is!” I howled. “He belongs to another!”

“No, I don’t believe it. Who said such a thing?”

“Mason,” I spat. “Mason showed up and stopped the wedding. He was very convincing. Edward married his sister ten years ago. Ten years! That was a very action-packed year let me tell you. Mercury must have been in retrograde for a full twelve months!”

She glanced away, her expression worried, and I began to put two and two together.

“Alice,” I said sharply. “What do you know?”

She shook her head, her eyes wide. I’d known a lot of liars in my short life, and she was terrible at it. If I’d not been so embroiled in my own heartsickness, then I would have had enough intelligence to pursue the strange affairs that had been happening right under my nose ever since I crossed Thornfield’s threshold. I was the ultimate fool and could blame no one but myself for my lapse in judgment. Who knew when the cracks first appeared, but now they’d splintered, and I was flawed right down to the very core.

“I know you’ve kept something from me. I knew the day I put an end to Edward’s and my affair. If I’m being honest with myself, I knew it even before then. I know you are privy to the secrets being held here. I never pursued it, but I should have.” I grasped her arm gently. “Alice, you must tell me.”

Her mouth flapped uselessly, and a loud thumping at the door saved her from more questioning.

“Jane!” Edward bellowed. A moment later, the door handle shook. “Jane, I know you’re in there. You must come out and let me explain!”

We both stared at the door, unmoving.

“I won’t get involved,” Alice muttered.

Rolling my eyes, I glared at her. “Some friend you are. Must I be betrayed by everyone I’ve ever come to love? What have I done to deserve my lot in life? Must I be forever a solitary figure, doomed to never love lest I have my heart torn from my chest?”

The banging persisted. I let out a growl of annoyance and turned to the door, wrenching it open in a whirlwind of fury.

Edward was standing there looking distraught, his lapel spotted with blood—no doubt from Mason’s nose—and his entire appearance askew. He looked a wild, feral thing to my eyes, and I no longer found it appealing in the slightest. In fact, all I saw was the cause of my pain, and it burned from the inside out. I would have given him my all but already being married? It was a step too far in the wrong direction.

His gaze fell, landing on my lingerie-clad body, and for a moment, he was lost for words.

“What explanation could you possibly have for today’s betrayal?” I snapped. “Did you have a lapse in memory and forget you were already married? Or is bigamy your thing?”

“Jane, you must listen to me.”

“I must do nothing! You have harmed me, Edward, more than you ever have before. This was the hardest decision that has ever been placed before me, and I said yes. I was all in despite your secrets, but a wife? You would force me to marry you and commit a crime! For what?”

His jaw tightened, and his eyes flashed. “Get dressed,” he commanded. “Cover yourself, Jane, and come with me.”

“You have no right to command me,” I snapped.

“Do you want the truth?” he bellowed. “Do you want to know all about the secret I’ve kept hidden all these years? Now is your chance to know it all, and judge me on all the facts once and for all. Love me or hate me as you will, but don’t hate me because of a lie.”

“Jane,” Alice said behind me. “Listen to him.”

Turning away from them both, I opened my trunk and pulled out some clothes. Dressing in a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting T-shirt, I shoved my cold feet into my world-weary boots. He wanted to reveal the entirety of his dark soul? Then let him tear it from his body and bleed at my feet.

“Fine,” I snapped, disregarding Alice and fixing my fury onto the man I’d tried so desperately to love. “I am no longer yours to manipulate, and I will get what I want out of you. Mark my words, Edward Rochester, I am no longer the plain, obscure, little Jane Doe you once knew. I will not tremble at your feet or bend to your commands. I am a free human being, and I will exert my power on you, no matter my gender or station. The last ounce of my compassion is gone, thanks to you.”

He nodded sharply. “Then so be it.”

Leaving Alice behind, I followed Edward through Thornfield, a changed woman yet again. It was the third time I’d left and come back having experienced life-altering upheaval, and it had been the worst of them all.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But fool me three times and just wait and see what the new and improved Jane Doe could do.