Chapter Two
Jamie wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or frightened that he actually knew her full name. Why this sudden interest in her? He was a respected surgeon at the hospital and she was a custodian. Those weren’t two professions that generally crossed paths inside or outside the hospital but, somehow, he knew her full name.
They’d only had a couple of encounters and neither of those times did they speak to each other. She’d given him an awkward nod of acknowledgement each time before heading in the other direction. “I’m sorry, Dr. Stansfield, but how do you know who I am?”
“Remember what I said about repeating myself? It’s Asa,” he said ignoring her question.
He was obviously a man who was used to getting what he wanted. She didn’t want to aggravate him by refusing what seemed like a simple request. But, she also didn’t want this to lead to something where her job was in jeopardy. Sure, she never dreamed that she’d end up cleaning up puke and shit for a living but the job actually paid well. She made enough to make rent every month on her tiny apartment and was able to take care of herself, an accomplishment in and of itself. She’d even managed to save up enough to take a few online courses at the local community college. She still had a long way to go toward a degree but it was a start. Everything she managed to achieve was considered a victory in her book, especially considering where she’d come from.
“Okay…Asa. We’ve never spoken before. Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Nice?” He briefly took his gaze off the road to stare at her with his startling eyes. “You think I’m nice?”
“Well, it was kind of you to give me a ride home. I could have easily taken the bus.”
“Hmm, who said anything about taking you to your home? Perhaps, I’m going to take you to my house and do bad things to you.”
Her mouth fell open. What the hell had she gotten herself into? “I, uh…”
Asa chuckled. “I’m joking. Of course, I intend to take you home—your home… after we have breakfast. Like I said, I think it’s time the two of us had a little chat.”
“But, I’m not that hungry and I’m really tired. I just want to go home and sleep.”
“There’s a little diner that I go to not far from here that serves the best steak and eggs. They have excellent French toast, as well.”
He was doing it, again; speaking as if she hadn’t just said something to contradict his statement. Part of her wanted to assert herself but years of conditioning made Jamie bite her tongue. She clenched her hands in her lap and lowered her head. She didn’t understand what was going on, so she kept silent. That was always best.
Asa thankfully didn’t engage her in further conversation. He turned the radio on. To her surprise, he flipped the station to an urban channel. This didn’t seem like his type of music. She hoped he didn’t do it for her benefit, but when she noticed him tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music, Jamie realized this was for him. She never would have guessed that Dr. Asa Stansfield was into hip hop.
She wasn’t sure what to make of this man. Jamie wasn’t certain if he even intended to take her to the diner, like he said he would, until they pulled into the parking lot of a little restaurant off the beaten path. When she would have exited the car, he placed his hand on her knee. “Stay where you are.” The words were spoken softly enough but there was no doubt in her mind that it was a command.
Asa came around to the passenger side and opened her door before holding his hand out to her. She awkwardly placed her hand in his and perhaps she imagined it but she actually felt some kind of spark. She rationalized that it was just a buildup of static electricity because it couldn’t possibly be anything else. Could it? She briefly looked into his eyes and she could tell from the strange way he stared at her that he felt it as well.
Once she was out of the car, she snatched her hand away unable to handle this contact. Why was she acting this way around this man? Maybe because he was possibly one of the most handsome men she’d ever laid eyes on. He was tall and well-built. It was clear he took good care of himself. His russet-colored hair was stylishly shaved on the sides and longish on top, giving him a devilish charm. His face was a work of art with his chiseled cheek bones and square jaw. It was almost as if he were too perfect. Staring at him, was like looking directly into the sun.
Jamie couldn’t help but wonder what it was about her that made him take interest. She was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, the two of them, obviously, came from two different walks of life. What could they possibly have in common? And then again, perhaps, he was just being nice because of the way Dr. Nguyen spoke to her earlier. Yes, that had to be it.
Once they were inside the diner and seated in a booth, Jamie glanced at her menu, afraid to raise her head to look at him from across the table.
“Do I make you nervous?” he asked without preamble.
She nodded, keeping her eyes glued to the menu, seeing nothing. Jamie was thankful there were pictures beside each item because it was difficult for her to read when she was stressed.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you, James.”
“Jamie,” she corrected as she looked up and then quickly looked back down again.
What the hell was wrong with her that she couldn’t maintain eye contact with this guy? He was just a man. She’d been around men before. But then again, she’d never been around a man like him.
“What did I say about repeating myself? I’ll come over there and make you, if I do.”
She raised her head and found herself trapped in his eyes, exactly what she was afraid of. Now that she was staring directly at him, she couldn’t possibly look away even if she wanted to.
Her hands began to shake again and tears gathered in her eyes. What was wrong with her? Just then the waitress came to the table, effectively breaking the spell he held over her. Needing to get ahold of herself, she slid out of the booth and headed to the back of the diner in search of the restroom.
Once it was successfully located, she ran in and locked herself in one of the stalls. Jamie could feel the beginning of a panic attack and she took several deep calming breaths to stave it off. There was something about Dr. Asa Stansfield that made her extremely nervous and she couldn’t figure out what.
As she sat on the edge of the toilet with her head between her knees, she closed her eyes and counted backward from twenty. By the time she reached one, she felt better. But how in the world could she go back out there and face him after she made an ass of herself?
After a few more minutes of stalling, Jamie realized that she couldn’t leave him waiting indefinitely. He had invited her to breakfast, the least she could do was be gracious about it and get through the meal. After this meal, she could move on with her life as she was sure he would. In fact, Jamie doubted they would see much of each other at the hospital since their shifts rarely coincided. She worked nights and he seemed to usually work days except when he was on call and even then, their paths rarely crossed.
She left the stall and headed to the sink where she splashed her face and patted it dry with paper towels. When she returned to her booth, Dr. Stansfield was on the phone.
There was a glass of orange juice in front of her from which she took a sip.
“Yes, Jan, give him two milligrams now and then another dose in three hours. After that, the medication should be administered as needed. If his condition doesn’t change, give me a call.” He paused. “Okay. Goodbye.” He placed his phone on the inside of his suit jacket. “I took the liberty of ordering your meal since you ran off on me.” His lips were slightly tilted into a smile as he spoke but there was another layer in his tone that told her he wasn’t exactly pleased that she had left.
“I’m sorry. I…had to use the restroom.”
“Hmm, I wonder.” He cocked his head to the side and stared at her with a slightly narrowed gaze. “That leads me back to my original question. Do I make you nervous?”
“Yes!” she blurted out, returning her gaze to the table. “I mean, I don’t understand any of this. We’ve never had a conversation before this morning and all of a sudden, you’re offering me a ride and taking me out to breakfast. I don’t get it.”
“What’s not to get? I find you interesting and I decided it was time that we get to know each other better.”
That definitely caught her off guard. She placed her hand against her chest. “You want to get to know me?”
“Why not? I find you very interesting.”
“Me?” she asked again. There was definitely nothing exciting or even interesting about her life. She went to work, and then home where she read, did her online courses, slept and went back to work, all while minding her own business. Life couldn’t be more uninteresting than that. But, it was her life and she was happy with it.
“Yes, you.”
She took a deep breath and found the courage to raise her head and look him in the eyes. “You’re toying me.”
“I would never toy with you…James. You’re right. Jamie does suit you better. Tell me how you ended up with such an unusual name.”
She bit her bottom lip. The only people who knew the full story were her former social worker and her neighbor, Kat. She didn’t really like talking about her past because it always opened up a can of worms that led her down a rabbit hole she didn’t want to go down again.
“I was supposed to be a boy,” she gave him the simple answer.
Asa inclined his head in acknowledgement. “I figured that part out but most parents would give their child a name suitable to their child’s gender, once the sex is determined.”
She shrugged. “Or, maybe my parents didn’t believe in societal norms when it comes to choosing a name for their child.” Jamie was proud of herself for coming up with that lie on the fly. If she didn’t know the truth, even she wouldn’t have believed it.
But it was apparent the good doctor wasn’t buying it because he narrowed his eyes at the statement before taking a sip of coffee. He carefully placed the mug on the table before sliding out of the booth and then sitting next to her, effectively pushing her against the wall.
It was one thing when she was sitting across from him but it was quite another for him to be in such close proximity. “Uh, what are you doing?”
“Jamie, do you know what I hate more than repeating myself?”
She shook her head.
“Use your words.”
“N-no.”
He leaned over until his lips nearly touched her ear. “I hate liars. Don’t lie to me, again.” And just like that, he got up and returned to his seat across from her.
Jamie wasn’t sure what her response would have been if the waitress hadn’t returned with her food. She saw Asa had ordered the French toast for her with a side of home fries, bacon and fresh fruit. It looked delicious but any appetite she may have had before was gone.
Asa on the other hand seemed unfazed as he cut into one of the rarest steaks she’d ever seen. It practically oozed blood.
“You’re not touching your food,” he pointed out after a few bites. “Do you not like what I ordered for you?”
“It looks good. I just…”
“You just what?”
“I don’t understand any of this. What are you getting out of this? I would have been perfectly fine catching the bus and going home. But, you basically made me accept a ride from you. You practically brought me here against my will. I just want to know why.”
He placed his knife and fork down and gave her a half grin. “You think I forced you to be here? Did I hold a gun to your head? Physically bend you to my will?”
She frowned. “No but—”
“Don’t kid yourself, Jamie. You’re here because you want to be. You may have been hesitant to accept my ride but a firm no would have sufficed. And your little moment of panic earlier, that was you fighting the inevitable. Do you know why you panic whenever you look at me?”
At a loss for words, she could only shake her head.
“Say the words.”
“No,” Jamie whispered.
“It’s because deep down, you know me. You know who I am. Just as I know who you are. I know everything about you, James Harrison. About your mother, who ran the streets until she got pregnant with you from a married man with kids of his own. Two girls. I bet your mother figured that if she had a boy, he’d leave his wife for her, hence the unusual name. But, you were a girl and that foiled her plans. Maybe she even tried to trick your father into believing that you were a boy for a little while. But when that didn’t work, she ended up hating you. Abusing you. Hurting you. And then, she died. But, things didn’t get better. They got much worse. Your father probably took you in out of some sense of duty but you were treated worse than the family pet. Hated by a stepmother who saw you as a reminder of her husband’s infidelity. Resented by your half-sisters for causing dissention in their happy home. And, ignored by a father who never wanted you in the first place. Shall I go on and list everything they did to you, Closet Girl?”
By the time he was finished, silent tears streamed unheeded down her face. Closet Girl was the name the media had given her. She thought those days were long forgotten. Her story had been in the news cycle for a few months and just like all sensationalized news, she’d been forgotten and left to deal with the aftermath. Even ten years later, she was still dealing with the fallout of her past.
“How did you know? Some of those things weren’t mentioned in any news articles.”
“Besides having connections, I’m very good at reading between the lines.”
“So, is that what this is all about? You’ve found out who I am and took pity on me? You want to say you did something nice for Closet Girl to make you feel better about yourself?”
“No.”
“Then what’s this all about?”
“Jamie, look at me.”
She reluctantly raised her head to meet his gaze.
“Believe it or not, I’ve been watching you for a long time. Long before I found out that other stuff about you. I saw the way you walked around with your head down and your shoulders slumped as if you carry the weight of the world on them. I see the timidity, the uncertainty. The fear. I see…you. You’re broken. Just like me. And, I’ve been waiting a very long time for you.”