CHAPTER 15
She tried to raise a hand but winced as she lifted it. Yeah, her shoulder was gonna be in a world of hurt tomorrow, but it didn’t feel broken. She gave Travis a sheepish smile. “Hi, Travis. Nice morning?” He was in street clothes instead of his usual police chief uniform. Of course. Fifth of July. He’d probably worked an eighteen-hour day yesterday.
“Are you fucking out of your mind?”
“Nice to see you too.”
He dropped to his knees and started squeezing her legs at her ankles, checking for broken bones.
“I’m fine, Travis. I can move my fingers and toes. No spinal injury.”
“What about the rest of you?”
“I’ll be sore. Ow.” She winced as she squeezed her right knee.
“You’ll need to get that checked out.”
“I’ll be fine. I probably hit a rock when I tumbled. Nothing a few aspirin and some ice won’t cure.”
He glared at her. “You should go to the doctor.”
“And get grounded? No thanks. I’m fine.” She tried shrugging him away as he brought his hands up to her neck. “C’mon, Travis. Help me up.”
“Not until I know I’m not injuring you further,” he growled. “You never should have sat up.”
“Right. I should have waited for the ambulance to come tell me I’m okay? Not.”
“I should haul your ass to jail for how fast you were going. At the very least, cite you for reckless driving. Take off your helmet, and try not to move your neck.”
“I wasn’t going that fast. Honest.” Okay, maybe she was going way too fast. But she’d never had a wreck before. And she’d controlled her crash… Mostly.
He gave her the stink-eye and held up a finger. “Follow my finger.” He moved it left, right, up, and down.
“You’re overreacting. I’ve been through worse. You probably have too.” She leaned back on her hands. “Look, I appreciate the drill, but I’m fine. We Soldiers are tough, right?” She flashed him a smile.
“You’re incredibly lucky, you know that?”
Her smile broadened. “Of course I am. The gods are with me.”
His face grew thunderous. “Until they aren’t. Then what? Do I get the pleasure of knocking on your parents’ door telling them you’ve flamed out? Or worse, on the door of some hapless victim of your stupidity and selfishness? You’re not invincible. Even if you’ve survived combat.”
Ouch.
Shame licked at her conscience. “I’m a safe rider, Travis. You know that.”
“Like hell you are,” he bit out. “I’ve been watching you for weeks. I know exactly what you’re doing, and none of it’s safe. It’s dangerous, and it’s gonna get you and or somebody else killed.”
“How dare you say that?” she fumed. “My safety record is impeccable.”
“Not on the ground, and you know it. I see how you zip around on your bike, and how you put yourself in risky situations for the rush of it. I get it. The problem is, out here, you’re a danger to yourself and others.”
Resentment simmered in her gut. “I’m fine. I just need to walk it off. And if it will make you happy, I’ll slow down.”
A muscle ticked above Travis’ jaw. “I don’t think you understand me. You won’t slow down. I know that look in your eye. I’ve seen it before. Speed won’t help you find that high you’re looking for. Or get back what you’ve lost.”
Fuck him. What did he know about her life? About her situation? “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You can lie to yourself, Cassie, but you’re not fooling me. Call it survivor guilt or the need to feel alive like you did downrange, but you’re taking larger and larger risks with your life and with the lives of others.”
“Help me up. I want to see my bike.”
Travis extended his hand, and she winced as he pulled her up. She’d tried to hide it, but the way his eyes narrowed told her he’d noticed. “You’re deflecting, Cassie,” he said harshly. “Classic tactic.”
Her insides were as jumbled as her outsides. Why was he pushing her this way? Sure, he’d been special forces, but that didn’t give him the right to lecture her like she was a kid. Like she couldn’t handle herself or make sound decisions. She was a decorated aviator for fuck’s sake. She took a step and gasped as a flash of pain streaked up her right leg.
“Need help?”
I will never surrender. “I’m fine.” She shook out her leg, then hobbled over to her bike, her heart sinking as she took it in. The front tire of the bike was lodged completely under the trailer, the front fender cracked. Oh God, what had she done? Her baby. A split second of inattention had resulted in its demise.
Still, she could salvage it, right? Still ride it with a broken fender? Panic rising, she leaned over and yanked the handlebars, straining to pull it free. No luck. It was stuck.
“Last time, Cass. You need help?”
She studied her boots, shame burning her skin. Fuck him and his holier than thou demeanor. She was just riding her bike. She pinched her nose, taking a deep breath. She would not cry. Warriors didn’t cry. She would not let him see her break down. It was just a bike. It was her baby. “Yes,” she whispered, unable to see the pavement through the mist of humiliation. “It’s stuck.”
Travis joined her, studying the wreck. “Damn, Cass. How fast you reckon it was going when it hit the trailer?”
Judging from how firmly it was lodged underneath the trailer, fifty? Which meant she’d shed a ton of speed. But even she knew that if she’d laid the bike down at fifty, she could have crushed her leg. Leather wouldn’t have saved her. She glanced down at her shredded pants. The leather had protected her from the worst, but her knee was clearly beat up.
Travis’s face softened. “Look. Here’s the deal. You can keep speeding, and I’ll write you up as soon as I get to town, or you can come out with me to the Hansen ranch tomorrow and spend some time with Hope and me working to gentle a new crew of mustangs.”
She hadn’t seen Hope Hansen since high school, but her mother had filled her in about Hope marrying Ben Sinclaire and working with horses.
“What will that solve?”
Travis glared at her in a way that looked downright fatherly. “The point is,” he punctuated, “you’ve destroyed a vehicle and damaged a trailer. What next? You? Someone else? Consider this your friendly intervention. I don’t think your Guard unit or commander would look kindly on an arrest record.”
Panic spiraled through her. “You wouldn’t.”
Travis’s eyes glittered. “Try me. I give no shits about your military record.”
Cassie’s hand fisted. Shame and anger raged through her, spinning up through her chest and threatening to explode. Who the hell did he think he was, using his position like this? He was her neighbor. He’d been her friend. What about loyalty? Solidarity?
“You’re an ass, Travis.” Her voice caught in her throat. It didn’t matter that he’d been like a big brother to her growing up. A role model. Right now, he was an asshole.
His eyes softened. “I’ve been where you are. I know what you’re going through. You can run, but your memories run faster.”
“You don’t know shit about me, Travis,” she yelled.
He stepped into her space, eyes on fire. “Bullshit. You fly around in your little helicopter playing the hero, extracting assets. Shooting your weapons at faces you can’t see because all you have to do is look for a flare, a confirmation and a direction of enemy fire and you can unload your ordnance. Talk to me after you’ve looked a man in the eyes then slit his throat,” he yelled, turning away and pacing.
Cassie gulped, shame coursing through her. He was right. What was wrong with her that she was having nightmares? The guys on the ground had it so much worse than she did.
Travis looked back at her, hands on his hips. “You don’t have a fucking clue about me either, Cassie. And I may be off-duty, but I can still haul you up on charges.”
She froze.
She would die if his charges ended up grounding her. Her hands started to shake again. “Please, Travis. No.” Her voice came out hoarse and scratchy. Oh God, anything but that.
“You have a choice. You can show up tomorrow at the Hansen ranch and help me out, or you can sit your ass in jail for a day and explain this all to your C.O.”
He’d do it too. She was well and truly fucked if she didn’t agree to his terms. “Fine,” she ground out. She yanked at her bike again, throat tightening at the awful scrape the plastic made when it moved against the road and the trailer. And then it hit her.
Parker would be at the Hansen ranch. Tomorrow was his day off from the fire station. He’d be working at the ranch all day. How could she face him? And the horrified look in his eyes when he realized she’d nearly killed herself today?