I’m embarrassed to say that despite all the times I’d been with Sean, he’d yet to make me come. Ever. At the time, I was just so happy to be with him. I thought asking for an orgasm was selfish. What was selfish was him demanding sex whenever he had a free moment from his fiancée. Quick. Sloppy. And only one person came. It all was worth it though when I got pregnant. It felt right. I loved that baby as soon as I peed on that pregnancy stick. Mom, despite crying and being disappointed, promised to help me raise the child.
But then Sean went to prison and I lost Mikey.
Looking back, I realize hindsight is much clearer. Sean wasn’t good to me. He used me. I was naïve and desperate. Fell right into his trap.
Easton though…I’ve never felt like this before. Sure, I’d fooled around with boys before ever sleeping with Sean but not once had they made me feel like this. Not once did they make me come with just their thumb without even going past my panties.
Easton drives me mad.
He speaks to parts of me that I thought died when I lost Mikey.
Easton is different.
My eyes open to find him staring at me. The heat and hunger in his eyes is overpowering me. I want to beg for him to carry me into his room and make love to me. I open my mouth to ask him for just this when my phone starts ringing.
It breaks the spell and I hate it.
I don’t like the panic in his blue-green eyes that are the color of the Atlantic Ocean we often visit for summer vacations. All the intensity that he’d just looked upon me with is gone. Guilt morphs his features and I’m saddened that he looks that way. What God frowns upon two souls connecting? It’s pure and heartfelt, that much I am certain. Nothing about this feels sinful. I wish I could erase the look on his face and make him realize this.
“You should answer that,” he says gruffly. His hands grip my hips and he effortlessly moves me out of his lap. When he stands, I can see just how aroused he is by the bulge in his jeans. “Lace. Answer your phone.”
I blink away my daze. “Hello?” I greet breathlessly.
“Lacy, sweetheart, where are you?”
Oh, crap. Mom.
“Uh,” I stammer out. “J-Just hanging out watching The Walking Dead with a friend.” Not a lie. Easton stalks out of the room and I feel sick to my stomach. “What’s up?”
“We’re going to dinner tonight with Aunt Kimmie and the boys. I’ll come get you. Just send me the address.”
I panic and let out a shrieked response. “Mom! No. I’ll meet you there. Where?”
She hollers to Aunt Kimmie. “You still want Chinese?”
“Yep!”
“Moon Wok. You know where that is? Downtown near our attorney’s office? Remember, sweetheart?” she asks.
I know exactly where Moon Wok is. After many visits to see my lawyer, Mr. Alexander, we would often go in and eat at Moon Wok. I’m glad the entire Sean Polk drama is over.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” I agree with a sigh.
“Love you, Lacy Lou.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
When I hang up, I find Easton at the end of the sofa with his keys in one hand and his helmet in the other. His features are stormy, as though he’s regretting touching me. I stand up from the couch and take the helmet from him.
“I have to go,” I whisper.
His jaw clenches and he won’t meet my gaze. “I know. We should head out.”
I place a palm on his chest and look up at him with pinched brows. “Are you mad at me?”
His intense eyes dart to mine. “I could never be mad at you, Lace. I’m mad at myself.”
Hot tears well in my eyes. “Why?”
“Because we kissed…because I touched you…” He huffs. “I’ve messed up. I’m sorry.”
I blink away my tears. “Sorry for what?”
“It won’t happen again,” he assures me as if he isn’t breaking my heart with those words. “Let’s go.”
I hurry and jerk the helmet on so he doesn’t see me cry. After I snag my purse, I follow him out to the bike. He fires up the engine and climbs on. Once I’m settled in behind him, my boobs smashed against his back, he takes off. A couple of times his palm caresses my outer thigh but then as if he remembers he’s not supposed to touch me, he jerks his hand away. It’s confusing and makes me sick to my stomach. By the time he pulls up outside of Moon Wok, I have zero appetite.
I climb off the bike and smooth out my dress. Then, I pluck off the helmet and hand it to him. His gaze bores into me for a long moment.
“I’ll see you at church tomorrow.” His eyes dart up to the heavens above. “I have much to be forgiven for.”
“Easton…”
“Bye, Lacy.”
I nod and give him a small wave before he’s gone.
“Who was that hottie?” Aunt Kimmie questions from just outside the restaurant door, a cigarette dangling from her bright orange lips.
“Uh…a friend.”
“I never had friends like that in high school. Maybe if I did, I would have got knocked up a lot sooner.” She snorts at her joke. It only leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Makes me think about Mikey. He might have been conceived by a mistake but I never thought of him that way. I wanted him.
Ignoring her, I stomp past her and find my mom in the restaurant. Aunt Kimmie is on my heels, chattering on about finding a sugar daddy while my tits are still nice. Poor Mom is trying to corral Aunt Kimmie’s bad twins, Jimmie and Johnnie as they try to scoop the koi out of the fountain in the middle of the restaurant. Why she agreed to go to dinner with these nuts is beyond me.
“Boys, that’s enough,” my aunt barks at them. “Go sit down.”
They grumble but surprisingly obey. My mom lets out a breath of relief. Everyone says we look just alike. Mom is almost forty but she looks young for her age. Dad’s been dead since I was three and she’s always put taking care of me first. Even before dating or anything else. The men are certainly interested in Mom though. I’ve had teachers at my school ask me for her number before. Gross.
“I missed you, sweetheart.” She pulls me in for a hug and she smells lovely today. I wish I could speak to her about Easton but I’m afraid she will see it as another Sean Polk situation. It couldn’t be farther from that if it tried.
“Missed you too.”
Aunt Kimmie snorts. “She wasn’t missing you too much. Don’t let the girl lie to you. You should have seen her boyfriend. Built like a linebacker and drove a motorcycle.”
My face blazes with heat.
“What?” Mom asks in astonishment, hurt lacing her tone. I’ve always been able to share things with her. Aside from Sean and Easton, I’ve always been upfront with her. She knew the first time I let a boy touch me and gave me the longest lecture known to man about the birds and the bees. But she did it out of love. I know this.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I bite out, shooting Aunt Kimmie a scathing glare. “Trust me, Mom.”
Her gaze softens and she strokes my hair. “But you want him to be.”
I give her a weak smile. “Yeah.”
“Where’d you meet him? Better yet, when do I get to meet him?” she questions as we take our seat.
I wave her off. “Mom, I told you, he’s not my boyfriend. I met him at church.”
Her blue eyes brighten as she grins. “I knew you were going every Sunday and Wednesday night but I had no idea you met someone there. How wonderful. That’s a great place to meet boys. They don’t have expectations of a sweet girl like yourself.”
I flinch. The only one with expectations is me. And this boy is a man. “Yeah.”
“It’s settled then. I’m coming with you tomorrow. I haven’t been to church since your Dad was alive.” She beams at me. “It’ll also give me a chance to meet Pastor McAvoy. I’d like to chat with him and see how your counseling is going.”
All I can manage is a nod. Thankfully Mom gets distracted with Jimmie when he spills his soda all over the table. I take the moment to text Easton.
Me: My mom makes me happy.
He replies immediately.
Preach: I’ll add it to the list.
I bite on my bottom lip as I type.
Me: She’s coming to church tomorrow.
It takes him ten minutes to respond.
Preach: I’d love to meet her.
That’s it. We don’t discuss the kiss or him making me come. Nothing. Even as my mother hugs me from the side and babbles on about her job happily, I still can’t help the lonely feeling that has settled at the pit of my belly.
Why must my life be so complicated?
Mom sings along to all the hymns beside me and listens to Easton’s sermon attentively. Normally, I enjoy our togetherness but today it leaves me on edge. I tossed and turned all night thinking about the kisses Easton and I shared. I’m afraid the dynamics of our relationship have changed. He’s hardly cast a glance my way the entire morning. I daze out, not listening to him preach, as I stare boldly at him. Today he’s handsome as ever. He’s shaved his face smooth and his brown hair is tousled on top of his head. It reminds me of how it was last night after I ran my fingers through it.
He’s so gorgeous. You’d have to be blind to not see it.
I catch a woman in the choir staring at me. Her brown hair is curled and she has kind eyes. Familiar kind eyes. I’m stunned for a moment as I realize she must be Easton’s mother. Feeling guilty, I tear my gaze from the pulpit and stare at the Bible he gifted me the second weekend I met with him. He’d highlighted some passages he wanted me to read. Quickly, I flip through them—anything to take my mind off the woman watching me watch her son. Eventually, I get caught up reading and it isn’t until my mom touches my shoulder do I realize people are leaving.
“I can see why you enjoy coming,” she says. “Pastor McAvoy has a way with keeping your attention.”
I stand and follow her out of the pew. “He’s good at what he does,” I agree.
“So show me this boy you like,” she whispers, her eyes scanning the congregation that’s laughing and talking as they leave. “Was it the blond boy who kept looking over here?”
Blond boy?
All I saw the entire sermon was Easton.
He’s all I ever see.
“Uh…” I start but my words die when said blond boy saunters over to me with a goofy grin on his face. Bobby, the church’s janitor, watches intently from the pew the boy came from. They have similar eyes and it makes me wonder if they’re siblings.
“Hey,” he greets, his cheeks slightly pink as though he’s embarrassed.
Mom pats my shoulder. “Sweetheart, I’m going to go catch up with Pastor McAvoy. I’ll leave you two alone.”
She abandons me with this stranger whom she thinks I like. I mean, had I never encountered Easton, perhaps I could have been into someone like the guy in front of me. He’s tall and cute and wears an endearing smile. But he’s not…
“I’m Bryce.”
He holds his hand out to me and I reluctantly take it. My gaze skims the sea of people until I find a pair of familiar blue-green eyes. Easton’s jaw ticks even as he attempts to smile at my mother. I don’t miss the flicker of jealousy in his eyes. It makes my heart stutter.
“Nice to meet you,” I murmur as I drag my attention back to Bryce. “I’m Lacy.”
He opens his mouth to speak when a woman clutches my elbow.
“Excuse me,” the woman says, her voice sweet and warm. “Can I get your help finding candles for tonight’s service?”
I turn my head to regard her and almost flinch when I stare into the same eyes Easton has. “Um, yeah. Of course.”
“Bye, sugar,” she says to Bryce before guiding me down the aisle, her grip never leaving my elbow. “Tell Bobby and your parents I said hi.” I’m worried she knows about Easton and I. Is she taking me away to yell at me?
We pass by Easton who frowns at us in confusion and then she ushers me down the foyer. It isn’t until we push through his office door that I really begin to feel nervous. The woman closes the door behind her and then sheds her choir robe.
“Lacy Greenwood?”
I nod at her, a stupid stare on my face. “I am.”
She smiles at me as she opens a cabinet and hunts for a coat hanger. “I’m Lydia McAvoy, Easton’s mother.” Once she hangs her robe up, she closes the cabinet and turns my way. Her eyes are narrowed as she scrutinizes me. “Easton’s a good man.”
I freeze at her words. “Preachers usually are.”
She smirks. “You’re a guarded girl, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
She picks at imaginary lint on the shoulder of my dress. “You keep secrets tucked away and not many people know the real you.”
I blink at her in confusion. “I don’t have secrets.”
“Good answer. Especially when those secrets involve my boy.” She lets out a sigh. “Listen, he’s a good man. Problem is, he wears his heart on his sleeve. I’ve been watching the two of you for a couple of months now. I’ve noticed the attraction. The pull. And then, after this weekend, the tension. Something happened. I prodded Easton before church and he blew me off but his eyes don’t lie. Just like yours don’t either.”
“I…I…”
“You’re not quite eighteen, darling. And while I don’t approve of my son’s choice in desiring a woman so young, I can’t stop him. I’m also not one to talk. I fell for his father when I was fifteen. We married by the time I was your age.” She smiles fondly. “All I’m saying is that I wanted to get you alone so that I could see for myself what has my boy all flustered. I see it. You’re gorgeous and quiet and mature compared to others your age. You’ve been through some difficult times. My only request is that you don’t hurt him. That you please don’t do anything to put him in a position that could get him into trouble or fired from the church.”
“Of course,” I choke out.
“Also,” she says with a sigh. “Stay clear of the Johnston boys. Bobby isn’t right after the accident and Bryce…” Her lips press into a firm line. “I’ve heard unsavory things about him.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“June eleventh.”
“Come by June twelfth for dinner. You and Easton. As a couple. Gregory, my husband, would be charmed to officially meet you as well, I’m sure.”
I’m still gaping at her when Easton barges into the office with Mom on his heels. Mom’s babbling on about colleges or something but he’s not listening. His eyes find mine. Concern is painted on his features when he sees my shocked expression and his mother beaming.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he grumbles.
“Oh, sweetheart, you interrupted nothing,” Lydia says. “You must be Lacy’s mother. I’m Lydia, Easton’s mom. My do you two look like sisters or what?”
Mom chuckles. “We get that a lot. I’m Stephanie Greenwood.”
“That’s a beautiful dress. Kate Spade?” Lydia asks as she motions at my mom.
“The Target knockoff. Lacy shows me where I can find good style at half the price. My girl is a great shopper,” Mom explains.
“This is fun and all but I’d like to speak to Lacy alone for a moment. Can you take this riveting conversation into the hallway?” Easton deadpans.
Lydia laughs. “Little snot. Fine. Come on, Stephanie. Let’s go grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen.”
As soon as they leave, Easton prowls over to me. He looks handsome in his charcoal grey suit and thin dark grey tie. I want to slide my palms up his hard chest and kiss him. Instead, I stay rooted to the floor.
“Your mom says you’re seeing Bryce Johnston.” His eyebrow lifts in question.
“And your mom wants us to come for dinner on June twelfth.”
We blink at each other for a long moment before he cracks a smile. I can’t help but smile back.
“I’m not seeing Bryce. You know this,” I murmur.
His palm finds my cheek and he brushes his thumb across my bottom lip in a bold way. “I do know this. What I don’t know is why Mom is inviting us to dinner.”
“It’s the day after my birthday,” I say with a huff.
Understanding flickers in his gaze. “Ahhh, I see. That was Mom’s way of approving of you.”
I let out a choked sound. “What?”
“She likes you.”
“She intimidates me,” I breathe. “She’s all beautiful and intense.”
“And protective,” he quips. “And intuitive.”
“Are we really that obvious?” I ask, heat burning up my neck.
“I didn’t think so but apparently we are.”
I frown. “Not like it matters anymore.”
He leans in and my heart rate skitters. “Why’s that?”
“Because you made it clear that we can’t.” I throw his word back at him.
His palm slides to my neck and he clutches me in a possessive way that makes my skin buzz. “Maybe we can.” The torment—a never ending war—flickers in his gaze but he blinks it away as he stares at me in appreciation.
“What?”
He doesn’t reply but instead presses his lips to mine. The kiss is sweet but makes a statement. When he pulls away, he murmurs, “I didn’t like seeing you sad today. And when that kid was holding your hand, I wanted to pry him away from you.” He takes my hand in his. “I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling because of my position here at the church and betraying my calling, but this is mine.” He squeezes my hand.
I melt at his words and then let out a moan when he kisses me deeply. After thinking all night he was done with me, I was wrong. Easton McAvoy does want me. Guilt tugs at my heart about how he’s feeling but it only wants me to try and assure him that this decision is a good one.
The door pushes open and we wrench apart. He doesn’t let go of my hand though.
“In Jesus’ name,” he says. “Amen.”
“Amen,” I squeak.
He releases my hand and we both turn to see my mom. She glares at him for a moment but when I smile at her, she softens.
“You ready to head out, sweetie?”
I nod and shoot Easton a quick glance. His eyes are burning with need and promise and maybe even slight indecision. The stare he gives me is far too intense to share in the presence of my mother.
“See you at next Saturday’s session,” I chirp to Easton as I leave.
“I’ll be looking forward to it, Miss Greenwood.”
His words make me blush and I nearly stumble over my own two feet on the way out the door.