Oh my God.

Gabe’s even more of a babe now.

I mean, he’s always had good looks. He’s tall, dark, and he’s quiet in a way that makes him seem intriguing—like he’s got a lot of mysterious things buried inside, just waiting to be released.

I’ve always wanted to be the person he shares his hidden thoughts with. That would be such a privilege.

I still yearn for that privilege now.

He’s older now, obviously. He was twenty-four last time I saw him, not long after It happened, so he must be thirty-two now.

I can’t pinpoint exactly which parts of his face have changed because he looks exactly the way he always has, and yet he appears different somehow. More mature. More dignified.

His voice has grown deeper, I realize, as I listen to the list of accomplished doctors Gabe is thanking.

He definitely looks like he belongs under the spotlight, with his solid figure, his strong jaw, and his high cheekbones.

But there’s an unease about him, almost like he doesn’t feel like he belongs. His outer demeanor, gruff and unfriendly, makes him seem far away.

But I can see the old Gabe inside that beautiful man. The kind, sensitive Gabe.

My heart jumps in my chest as he finishes his speech and makes his way down the stage.

Without the spotlight getting in his eyes, is he going to notice me?

Does he remember me? Does he remember how the three of us used to get in trouble together?

Am I old enough for him now?

And most importantly, is he here with someone?

My gaze follows his perfect figure as he threads his way between the tables. When he stops and pulls out a chair, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Just old people on either side of him. He doesn’t have a date.

He doesn’t have a date.

Every cell in my body thrums with excitement. And anxiety, too.

I told myself I’d talk to him if he’s here on his own, and now I know he is.

I raise my glass of champagne and take a gulp. I don’t usually drink, but if I’m going to talk to Gabe tonight, I need all the courage I can get, liquid or otherwise.

“He’s hot.”

“Huh?” I tear my gaze away from Gabe.

“Gabriel Kent. He’s hot.”

“Oh, he is?”

Karen chuckles. “Jacqueline, you stared at him for so long that I was starting to worry you’d start drooling.”

I laugh.

I’ve known Karen for one month, since we started working at the hospital. I only started to hang out with her because she had the invitations to this event, but it turns out she’s pretty cool.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” I ask.

“Don’t worry about it.” Karen grins. “Like, half the women in this room had their eyes on him.”

“Really?” I scan the banquet hall and assess my competition.

I know women wouldn’t leave a man like Gabe alone. He’s young, successful, good looking, wealthy, and his family has great connections. Marrying him would be a one-way ticket to a life of leisure and luxuries.

That’s not why I want him, though. I couldn’t care less about all those things. I just miss him.

I know it’s stupid. Every girl has been infatuated by her brother’s friend, but which idiot holds on to that crush for decades?

Me. I’m the idiot.

“Ooh, Brendan Wells is next. He’s really hot, too.” Karen squeals excitedly, running her fingers through her golden brown hair and smoothing out her black sheath dress as if he’s coming to personally see her.

I give Karen a smile.

I’m really only interested in Gabe. I don’t even find this Brendan guy attractive, even though the other women in the room seem to disagree with me.

I can’t tell Karen about my weird obsession with Gabe. She’s the only person I have lunch with. At one month, it’s too early to be letting her know how much of a weirdo I am. I don’t want to have to find someone else to sit with me at the cafeteria.

“Do you think that suit is Armani?” Karen squints at Brendan Wells as he makes his way to the stage.

“You don’t have to make any excuses to stare at his butt.” I grin, hiding my disinterest.

Karen giggles. “Yeah, I don’t actually care what brand that suit is.”

I take another gulp of my champagne just as the waiter comes by and hold up the empty glass. He comes over to top up my booze supply.

I cast my gaze around me. “Hey, did you see where Gabe...riel went?”

“No. Maybe he went home?” Karen asks.

“Oh, no.”

“You're really going to talk to him? That's so awesome of you. I wouldn't have the guts to just go up to some hot guy I don't know.”

“Yeah. That's just how I roll.” I can feel my confidence growing as my alcohol intake goes up.

I would've told Karen he's a childhood friend, but I figured it would be weird to say, “Oh, you have invites to the award show? Gabriel Kent is my childhood friend. Can I go with you?” Because that would lead her to ask me why I’m not getting my tickets from Gabe instead.

So I acted like I was a groupie instead. And I got an invite so, you know, the main thing is I’m getting the result I want.

“Oh, that's him, right?” Karen points to the balcony beyond the row of doors along one wall of the room.

Through the glass, I see him leaning casually against the balustrade with a thin stick between his fingers. He holds it up to his lips and, a few seconds later, a cloud of white smoke floats out of his month.

“Ugh,” Karen exclaims, “I hate men who smoke, especially if they're doctors. What kind of an example is he setting for his patients?”

“Maybe he's not trying to be a role model,” I say before I can stop myself.

Karen laughs. “Okay. Remind me never to talk shit about Gabriel Kent in front of you.”

“Sorry, I’m a little distracted.” My gaze flicks between Karen and Gabe.

I don't want to lose him again. If I let Gabe out of my sight tonight, I don't know how else to find him. What if it takes me another eight years to see him again?

“Yeah, no kidding.” Karen hands me my champagne glass. “Drink up and go outside already.”

With a few big gulps, I finish my drink. Normally, I’m terrified to drink even just a tiny drop because I’ve seen what alcohol can do to people. But I’m making an exception tonight.

“Hope you get laid tonight.” Karen winks.

Oh God.

I'm such an idiot I haven't even considered that possibility.

I mean, of course I’ve thought about Gabe like that. He's the only man in my dirty fantasies.

But that's also the reason why I’m still a virgin. To me, sex is not something that happens in the real world.

But now that Gabe is really back in my life again… I don't know.

Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much champagne.

This situation would be hard enough to navigate sober. What hope does drunk-me have?

“Karen.” I pause as I turn to face her on my chair. In despair, I say, “I’m a virgin.”

Karen’s bursts out laughing. “You could’ve fooled me. The way you were acting, I thought you were some experienced, kick-ass seductress.”

Sure, I can fool anyone as long as I don’t have to get into bed with them. But what if…

I mean, if Gabe wants to take me home, I’m not saying no. But then what happens after that, if he wants to…

Well, I do want him to take my virginity—that has been a recurring fantasy—but what if he finds my lack of experience annoying? What if it’s a turn-off?

“Oh boy, you’re really worried, aren’t you?” Karen asks when I remain serious.

I nod.

“Listen, I’m sure you’ll be just fine,” Karen says. “Just… follow your instincts and everything will be okay.

“But…” My sentence just hangs in the air as no more words come out. I just stare at Karen, panicked and unable to choose just one question to ask first.

Shit. My brain doesn’t work.

This is the worst timing in the history of everything.

“There’s nothing to worry about. It’s just talking to a cute guy. It’s not life and death,” Karen says.

She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand why this could be a life-destroying disaster.

Karen puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Look. If there’s anything you really don’t know how to handle, just excuse yourself, say you’re going to the restroom, and find me. I’ll be here.”

It takes a few seconds for my brain to process Karen’s plan through my alcoholic fog, but once I understand what she means, it sounds like a brilliant idea.

Yes. I can do this.

I don’t have to plan for the entire night. I’ll just take it step by step.

I can get through this, with Karen’s help.

Besides, given our history, what are the chances that Gabe would even consider sleeping with me?

I was getting ahead of myself.

I’m only here to say hi because it’s been such a long time since we last saw each other.

I twist in my seat to take another look at Gabe. He’s alone and he’s not doing anything. It’s the perfect time to make an approach.

“Go get him.” Karen pats my shoulder in encouragement.

And I’m off.