From the texts messages of Hailey Marks

and Sabrina Marks

Hailey: Hey, are you still at work or can you talk?

Sabrina: Still at work, so I can’t talk, but I can text.

Happy hour is super slow so far. I told Brian not to cut the bar snack budget, but he never listens to me. Now we’re losing hundreds of dollars in drink sales so he can save ten dollars on hot dogs and buns. Ugh! What a moron! I can’t wait until he gets fired and Mona is promoted to manager. Speaking of hot dogs, how did your meeting with Discreet go?!

You chickened out right? Because there’s no way in hell you’re stupid enough to go meet some Dom weirdo you picked up with a personal ad. This was all a prank to see how far I’m willing to take my newly embraced wild-girl side, right, big sis?

Hailey: Um…no. It wasn’t.

And if you thought I was being stupid, you should have told me! I respect your opinion and want you to tell me if you think I’m doing something crazy!

Sabrina: No you don’t. You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, Hailey Rae. Once you’ve made up your mind, you’re going to do what you damn well please, no matter what I, Mom or Dad, the Pope, the Dalai Lama, or anyone else has to say about it. I learned that a long time ago, girl, and vowed to quit flapping my lips in vain.

But now you have me worried…

So, you actually went to meet this guy?!

Are you okay?

Was he awful?

What am I saying? Of course he was awful. He’s a creepy personal-ad-answering Dom douchebag.

Ugh! If he hurt you, I will rip off his arms and beat him with the bloody stumps. Though, you probably already did that, didn’t you? Since you’re the queen of self-defense? I have to confess that your ass-kicking skills are part of the reason I wasn’t too worried about this bonkers plan of yours. I figured if any creep tried something with you, he’d be limping home with all his fingers broken and his balls wedged in his lower intestine.

Hailey: I have never broken anyone’s fingers, and Discreet wasn’t a creep.

He was something worse…

Sabrina: What’s worse than a creep? A zombie? A clown? A dude who enjoys dressing like a baby and having his adult diaper changed?

Hailey: Ew! How do you even know about this stuff?

Sabrina: I read widely in the kinky-books section, sister dear. You should try it some time. Maybe then you would be satisfied reading about kinkery like the rest of us and not feel compelled to try out naughty stuff in real life.

Hailey: You know why I feel compelled to try it out in real life. You’re the only person who knows. That’s why I’m texting you instead of one of my other friends, who would give me less shit for being experimental.

Sabrina: Yes. I know. And I know you miss Will and are still madly in love with him and want to make it work, but… I don’t know, Hails. Maybe you misunderstood what you overheard that night at the party or took it out of context or something. Will certainly didn’t seem like he was unhappy or stifled or whatever in your relationship. He wasn’t unhappy until you ended it and broke his heart.

Hailey: I didn’t misunderstand what I heard, Bree. Will was denying a vital part of himself in order to be with an uptight good girl who had only slept with one guy in her entire life.

I know that for a fact.

And you know how I know?

Guess who was waiting for me at the beer garden, wearing the sexy black slacks I bought him for Christmas three years ago and two watches on his left wrist?

Sabrina: OMG no! No way!

Hailey: Yes, way. Will is Discreet! Discreet is Will!

He’s so eager to get back to his old life that he’s trolling personal ads! And he was totally flirting with Curious Cat. I’ve been rereading our emails for over an hour, and it’s there, simmering between every line. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. And now I want to punch him in the teeth for flirting with someone online, even though we broke up almost a year ago.

Sabrina: But he was flirting with YOU, Hailey.

Hailey: But he didn’t know it was me!

Sabrina: Okay, okay, but he knows it’s you now, right? So how did that go? Did you tell him he was the reason you were looking for a Discreet Gentleman in the first place? Because you want to please him in all ways and be his perfect little foot-licking fiancée, after all?

Hailey: I do not want to lick his, or anyone else’s, feet. Power exchange in the bedroom isn’t always—or even often—about performing humiliating tasks. It’s a lot more layered and interesting than that. And no, I didn’t tell him, because if I tell him and I turn out not to like the submission stuff after all, he’ll be hurt all over again. And I can’t stand to do that to him.

Sabrina: I imagine he’s pretty hurt that you’re out looking for a guy to Dominate you, too, right? I mean, especially since he was evidently concealing that part of himself from you for all the years you were together because he thought you wouldn’t like it.

Hailey: Actually… No, he didn’t seem hurt.

He was a little miffed at first, and said he almost walked out of the bar without letting me know he was Discreet, but then he shrugged it off and…

Sabrina: And what?! Don’t keep me in suspense!

Hailey: He said…

He said he was still up for giving me lessons.

Sabrina: Ha! Well, of course he is. He wants back in your pants like a hermit crab wants a new shell, baby.

Hailey: How is Sheldon? I’m so proud of you for keeping another living thing alive for over three months.

Sabrina: Sheldon is fantastic and enjoying the larger aquarium I scored at a yard sale last weekend, but we’re not changing subjects, psycho.

What did you say to Will?! Are you letting him back into your pants? I mean, I get that he is allegedly a complete sex god in the sack, but don’t you think that will be painful for both of you if this experiment doesn’t end well?

Hailey: I told you from the beginning, Bree, these lessons aren’t about sex. They are sex-free, toy-free, butt-stuff-free lessons. Platonic lessons.

Sabrina: And I’m the queen of France.

Hailey: France doesn’t have a queen. Not since they chopped the last one’s head off.

Sabrina: And you’ve had your head chopped off if you believe Will doesn’t want more than platonic teaching time with you. If you do this, things are going to get sexy, Hailey.

Hailey: For someone who’s never had any, you have a lot of strong opinions about sex, Sabrina.

Sabrina: Yeah, well…I do a lot of reading. And thanks for the reminder that I’m a freakishly old virgin who’s never going to get laid.

Hailey: I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry. You could get laid any day of the week, and you know it! You’re so beautiful and smart and funny. But I respect you for waiting for that perfect guy who is man enough to deserve you. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, little sis.

Sabrina: Blah. Whatever. I’m just picky.

And seeing how well Will treated you has made me impatient with assholes who only want to stare at my tits and talk about themselves. A guy hit on me at the beer festival last weekend. He asked my name—that’s it. After that, it was a thirty-minute lecture on all the reasons he was awesome. He couldn’t have cared less what I thought, felt, did for a living, liked or disliked—zero, zilch, nada.

He saw blond hair and big boobs and that was all he needed to know.

I could have been a blow-up doll for all he noticed my personality.

Hailey: I’m sorry, babes. Men in their early twenties are awful. I always felt lucky that I got to bypass them and go straight to someone more experienced.

Sabrina: You were lucky. And you still are. Will clearly isn’t any more over you than you are over him. You guys can still totally make it work.

Hailey: Did you miss the part where he was offering to be a sex tutor to some strange girl he met via a personal ad?

Sabrina: A platonic sex tutor. You made that very clear. And he wouldn’t have let the offer stand once he knew you were Curious Cat if he didn’t want to get back together.

Hailey: I’m not sure about that. He was so cool…

Detached in a way I’ve never seen him before.

Sabrina: Maybe that’s his Dom side…

Was it hot?

Hailey: Um…yes. It was.

Sabrina: Lol!

Well, then it sounds like you guys are off to a good start. Talk to him, Hailey.

Clear the air and move forward as a team.

You two were always an incredible team.

Hailey: I’ll think about it. We’re meeting tomorrow night for Lesson One. So if you think I’m crazy, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Sabrina: I think you’re crazy, but I also think you should go for it.

But I would like to be spared the gory details if that’s all right. I enjoy reading kinky fiction, but hearing about the kinky shit you’re getting up to with my future brother-in-law might make things weird at family holiday celebrations.

Hailey: It might not work, Bree. There’s an excellent chance that we’re not going to get back together.

Sabrina: And there’s an excellent chance hot dogs are going to come flying out of my ears. I wish they would actually. If I had hot dogs, I could put them on the warming coils near the door so the sweet odor of meat would waft out into the street and lure in customers. If I don’t get someone in here drinking soon, I’m never going to make rent by the fifteenth.

Hailey: You could always go back to modeling part-time. It wouldn’t have to be forever. Just until you get enough money saved up to go back to school.

Sabrina: No. I’m done with that. I’m a serious woman, and I’m going to study serious things like abnormal psychology. I’m also going to make some seriously strong drinks so my patrons will keep coming back for more even without hot dogs to sweeten the happy hour pot. I’ve got this.

Hailey: Of course you do. No doubt in my mind. But if you need money to help cover rent, don’t hesitate to ask. Business is good at the gym, and I just got hired to teach my teen self-defense course at the middle and junior high schools in the district. I start next week, and I’ll be rotating through twenty-five schools before the end of the year. And if all goes well, the powers that be want to make it an ongoing thing.

Sabrina: That’s amazing, sissy! I’m so proud of you. I get so psyched when I think about these girls being able to defend themselves and their friends from assholes if they need to. It gives me hope.

Hailey: Me, too. But I never could have done it without Will…

Sabrina: Not true. You could have gotten the start-up money for the gym somewhere else. You had a killer business plan.

Hailey: I’m not talking about the start-up money. I’m talking about support, encouragement, partnership, the man I love…

That’s what I’m most afraid of, Bree.

What if Will’s not the person I thought he was? What if I start down this road with him and at the end of it, the man I thought I knew isn’t there anymore? What if I end up with a stranger?

I swear…

I would almost rather lose him and keep the man I think I know alive in my memories than learn that the Will I loved was never real to begin with.

Is that crazy?

Sabrina: No, it’s not crazy. It’s a little bit of a mind-bender, but I think I get it.

But it’s like you always tell me—it’s okay to go out alone after dark as long as you’re prepared.

Hailey: I do say that, but you’ve lost me…

Sabrina: Yes, the world is scary. Yes, the streets are more dangerous for a woman alone than for a man. But if we take safety precautions, educate ourselves, and have a plan to deal with any threats, there’s no reason a woman can’t walk alone after dark. We deserve the same freedoms that men enjoy, and it’s worth a little risk not to live in a fear-shadow all the time. Right?

Hailey: Right. No fear-shadow. I just have to trust my gut, and my gut says that Will is still the man I fell in love with five years ago. But he’s also someone else, too. And I want to know that someone. If we’re going to promise our lives to each other, I want all of him, not just the parts he’s decided are acceptable for innocent Hailey’s fragile eyeballs. I’m not eighteen years old anymore, and I have a few fantasies I’ve never told him about, too. He has no idea what I can or can’t handle. I’m a lot tougher and braver and more experimental than he thinks I am.

Sabrina: That’s the spirit! Show him what you’re made of, baby. Though, judging by your badass levels, I think you might be better off Domming than subbing.

Hailey: It takes as much discipline and strength to submit as to Dominate, Bree. In a functional D/s relationship, the sub is every bit as strong as his or her Dom—at least mentally.

Sabrina: Well, well… Sounds like someone’s done her homework. Then go get your spanking or whatever, lady, but keep the details close to your chest. I’m all about supporting your girl power, but I’d also like to be able to look Will in the eye without blushing bright red.

Hailey: Of course. I won’t kiss and tell, I promise.

Sabrina: So you admit there’s going to be kissing! Ha!

Hailey: Oh shut up and go buy some hot dogs. Tell Brian the cost is coming out of petty cash and you don’t want to hear another word about it unless he likes looking at a line of empty bar stools.

Sabrina: Yes, ma’am. Off to explore my Dominant side right now. And good luck. Seriously. I hope you and Will work it out, whatever weird way that needs to happen. You two were so good together. I hated to see it end.

Hailey: Me, too, babes.

Me too…