Epilogue
Marty
“Just breathe with me, baby. Hold my hand and breathe.”
“You will never fucking touch me again,” I growled. I arched my back in agony while the contraction ran rampant through my body, and the only thing I could do was moan out in pain.
“Why did I let you do this to me?”
“It’s okay, baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” Jax murmured.
My back plummeted to the hospital bed and my lungs heaved for air. Our little girl was about three weeks early, but the doctor didn’t feel right about stopping my labor.
“Is she gonna be alright, Jax?” I whispered desperately.
“She’s gonna be strong, just like her mama.”
Jax brushed the hair from my face while a nurse came into the room and lifted my gown. I felt cold hands on my thighs before she warned me about the intrusion, but her voice was too far away from me to be able to understand her.
“Marty? Em? Can you hear me?”
“Sir, I need you to leave the room.”
“Marty? Marty?”
Why the hell did their voices sound so distant? I felt Jax’s hand slip from mine and I lobbed my head over to see what was going on, but all I could see were blurry figures whipping around my hospital bed.
“Jax—” I choked out.
“MARTY!” Jax roared.
“I need an OR, now!” I heard someone yell. I felt something being jammed into the top of my hand and I tried to yank it away. What the hell happened to Jax? Where was he? Why did he leave me?
“Jaaaax!” I cried out. Another contraction wafted through my body and clenched every single muscle in my back, and before I knew it, I was busting through a massive pair of double doors and into a room that was absolutely freezing.
“We need to get her under. Now.”
I felt someone secure a breathing mask over my face and my heart was fluttering in my chest. The room was so cold; I couldn’t find Jax’s hand and the contractions were blurring into one another.
“Where… is… Jax?” I breathed.
And then, everything went black.
Behind my eyelids, I saw everything I could’ve ever wanted. I saw our wedding day, with my beautiful white gown hugging every inch of my body that was round with the fullness of our growing daughter, and I relished in the memory of Jax placing his mother’s wedding rings on my left ring finger, making me his forever.
I saw our wedding night, our bodies writhing and sweating together as he rolled his hips into mine. I felt my body shaking with pleasure as my orgasm crashed over my entire being, my fingernails digging into the thick, meaty muscles of his back as his lips trailed kisses along my neck.
I saw Jax holding our gorgeous little girl while a golden retriever puppy ran around in the backyard.
I saw picnics on the beach outside of the house we would eventually own while Jax’s new hit single played for us on the radio.
I saw myself swollen with our second child while my daughter shot a series of questions my way about what was happening.
I saw us walking underneath a starlit sky, holding his wrinkled hand and taking in how handsome his hair looked under the moonlight, peppered with white and gray.
And I saw him sobbing at my funeral when I passed. I felt myself surrounded by the warmth and comfort of a family that missed me while I laid cold in the ground, and it felt so right to go first because I didn’t know if I could ever live another day of my life without him.
“Em? Em, can you hear me?”
The voice sounded so familiar, but I simply couldn’t place it.
“You’ve just got to open your eyes for me, okay? She’s beautiful, but I think she’s hungry.”
It was Jax.
My eyes felt like they had been soldered together, but I reached my hand out and felt for his. A baby’s shrill cry landed heavily upon my ears and my nipples stood at attention, leaking a warm fluid over my breasts.
But my eyes wouldn’t move.
“She looks just like you, Em,” Jax choked out. “And I just need you to open your eyes so you can look at her.”
“Any luck?”
Now there was a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Not yet,” Jax sighed.
I moved my hand out, trying desperately to reach out for anyone.
“She’s not even moving,” Jax sobbed.
Why the fuck was Jax crying? And why the hell couldn’t he see my hand moving?
And then, I was sucked back into my dreams. Dreams of him feeding me food on an island and dreams of us fighting until we were hoarse. Dreams of him in the recording studio with our daughter on my knee.
“Oh, Jax,” I groaned.
“Marty? Marty!? Oh shit, doctor! Doctor! She’s awake!”
A baby wailed in the background, and as I slowly lifted my heavy lids, there was a massive spotlight flashing over my eyes.
“Marty, do you know where you are?” a voice asked.
“Where’s my daughter?” I choked out.
“Marty, can you hear me?” another voice asked.
“Where the hell is my daughter?”
“Marty, how old are you?”
“Where the fuck is my baby?” I shrieked.
I felt everyone back off before Jax’s face slowly came into focus, and I could see the puffiness of his sleepless eyes.
“She’s right here, Em,” he murmured.
He sat a weight into my arms and my body instinctively curled around it. My beautiful little girl began to nuzzle into my chest, and Jax slowly helped me peel the hospital gown back from my naked breast. She latched on without a problem and I felt a smooth liquid being pulled from my body, and when my eyes finally focused on the world around me, I locked my gaze with Jax’s.
“What the hell happened?”
“You, um…”
I watched Jax struggle and it broke my soul. The last thing I remembered was feeling very lightheaded when I was pushing through a contraction, and now I was in a recovery room with a child in my arms.
I’d missed my daughter’s birth.
“Something happened when you were in labor; you just went into distress. Your heart rate skyrocketed and the baby wasn’t doing so hot. They had to rush you into surgery in order to get her out, but…” He paused for a moment, and I noticed his chin begin to tremble. “They… they lost you on the table. You lost a lot of blood, so they had to give you a few transfusions.”
I slowly began to put the pieces together as my daughter nursed from my chest, and that’s when it dawned on me as to why those doctors had been at my side as quickly as they had.
“How long was I out for?”
I watched Jax swallow hard and it ached every part of me. How long had he been in this hospital without a clue in the world as to what to do? How long had he felt helpless?
How long had he thought he was going to lose me, just like he lost his father and mother, too?
“Three days,” he whispered. His hand wrapped behind my head, cradling it within his palm as he gazed at me through watery eyes, but a few moments later, the crying of our daughter broke our trance. “I think little Ava Rose is still hungry.”
“Ava Rose?”
“Yep. Ava Rose Weatherspoon,” he said, smiling proudly. “It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Ava Rose.” I helped her latch on again and marveled at just how perfect this tiny human was. “Just like your mom,” I beamed.
Jax smiled at me as he tucked Ava’s blanket more snugly around her body, then reached over to hold my hand. A joyful tear rolled down my cheek as I cradled our little miracle in my arms, and as I lowered my lips to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, I never imagined my heart could feel so full.
THE END