I was sitting in the office of the garage, a place that was no longer mine. While my heart clenched at that realization, I felt a lightness I hadn’t in a really long time. I loved this place. I loved the guys, I loved the smells of gasoline and motor oil—as odd as that seemed—but saying goodbye to it just felt… right.

“You sure about this, dollface?” Stone asked from his place in the chair across from me, his motorcycle boot–clad feet propped up on the scuffed desk. “You know I’m happy to have you here.”

Giving him a warm smile, I replied, “I know that. But this feels good. And just because I won’t be part owner anymore doesn’t mean I won’t come visit to give you shit. You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”

He chuckled and dropped his feet, the boots thumping against the floor as he leaned forward. “I’ll hold you to that, sweetheart. The bastards around here need a pretty face to keep ’em in line. And if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. Will’d be happy you’re finally doin’ something for you, and I feel the same goddamn way.”

My smile turned into a smirk as I murmured, “Hard as stone, my ass. You’re a big ol’ softy.”

“Baby, I’m anything but soft,” he joked, causing me to curl my lip in disgust.

“Ew, gross! Not an image I wanted in my head!” I cried.

Stone was wickedly hot, there was no doubt about it. He had that look that screamed dangerous mainly because he was. But there wasn’t anything there between us. He was to me what the other guys—with the exception of Mace—were. Big, protective brother types. And I was nothing more than a sister to him. He had a type that was so far from me it wasn’t even funny. I knew because the man could draw women in just by looking at them, and he’d done it countless times.

Stone went for buxom brunettes who weren’t afraid to flaunt what they had, which meant plenty of cleavage and lots of leg. They tended to boarder on skank, but owned the look and didn’t give two shits what others thought of them. He was in the mood to get him a little somethin’ somethin’ all he had to do was hit the woman of interest with that smirk and quirk his finger at them, and they came running.

He chuckled deep in his throat. “You know I love messin’ with you, dollface. But don’t let any of the assholes out there know I’m nothin’ more than a big teddy bear. I’ll never get ’em to do shit.”

I let loose a giggle. “Your secret’s safe with me. Besides, I’m pretty sure that teddy bear side of you is designated only for a handful of people. I’m just lucky I’m one of them.”

My cell phone pinged, and I pulled it from my purse to check my texts. When I pulled up the screen, I couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across my face.

Mace: Missed seeing your pretty face when I woke up. You gonna be gone long?

My thumbs flew along the letters as I typed out a response.

Lyla: Just finishing up at the garage now. My friend Ava wants to meet for lunch, so I’ll be back after that… unless you want to join us?

Mace: Nah, I’m cool here with your folks. Enjoy your time with your girl. I’ll see you when you get back.

“That your guy?” Stone asked, pulling my attention from the phone in my hand.

“He’s not my guy,” I replied as I tucked it back into my purse.

One of his brows arced up. “He know that?”

“It isn’t like that,” I insisted, even though saying it sent a pain shooting through my chest. “We’re just friends, that’s all.”

His hands went up in a placating gesture. “If you say so. But when you finally pull your head outta that cute little ass of yours, I’ll be right here to say, ‘I told you so.’”

I shot him a playful glare and pushed to my feet. “If you say so, ya big softy. I gotta get going.”

He lifted up from his seat and came close, wrapping me in a tight hug. “It was good seein’ you, dollface. Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” I answered, returning the embrace just as tightly. Saying goodbye, even temporarily, was never easy. “You take care of this place, yeah?”

“You got my word, sweetheart.”

Somehow I managed not to cry as I exited the office, got in my car, and pulled from the lot.

Yep. Saying goodbye totally sucks.

* * *

Ava squealed loudly as soon as she cleared the restaurant door and spotted me. Instead of being embarrassed that she’d drawn so much attention from the other patrons, I stood, made a similar sound, and rushed my BFF. We hopped in place while holding on to each other.

“Oh my God!” she cried, stepping back but keeping hold of my arms as she gave me a once-over. “I’ve missed you like crazy, babe! You look amazing!”

“You too,” I replied. “God, it’s good to see you.”

I led her to my table and we both sat. I sipped my water as she ordered a chardonnay before turning back to me. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said softly, reaching across the table and taking my hand. “So talk, tell me what’s been going on. How’s life living with a sexy rocker? I wanna know it all.”

“It’s good,” I said. “It’s surprisingly good. I’m actually thinking of taking graduate classes.”

“Really? In what?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I have time to figure it out. I haven’t thought about what I wanted to do for the longest time, and it’s a little foreign to me.”

She smiled happily, that kind of smile that only a friend who wanted the best for someone she cared about could have. “That’s so awesome, babe,” she replied, still speaking softly. “I’m glad you’re finally doing something for you.”

“It’s strange,” I admitted, thinking out loud more than speaking directly to her. “For so long, what I wanted didn’t matter. Daniel….” I stopped to swallow. “He didn’t care about what I wanted, only what I could do for him.”

“Sweetie….”

We stopped talking long enough for the waitress to take our lunch orders. Once she was gone, I continued.

“Mace is all for it. In fact, he’s the one who kinda pushed me into it. He wanted me to have something to do other than watching over him, something I’d enjoy.”

Ava’s eyes grew wet and glassy as her chin quivered. “Oh, Lyla.”

“Stop,” I commanded teasingly. “None of that now. If you cry, I’m gonna cry, so knock it off.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Lifting her hands, she waved at her eyes while staring up toward the ceiling. “I’ll stop. Promise.”

It took her a few more seconds and a couple more sniffles, but she finally got a hold of herself. “Okay. I’m good now. Promise. I’m just so damn happy for you, honey. After what that asshole put you through, for years….”

“I know,” I whispered, my throat scratchy with emotion.

“Okay,” she declared, clapping determinedly. “On to happier topics. What’s it like bedding down with that hottie rocker of yours?”

“First of all,” I started with a fake scowl, “we aren’t bedding down. And secondly, he’s not mine.”

She scrunched her face and muttered “Uh huh,” clearly not buying what I was trying to sell. “If you say so.”

“God, you sound just like Stone. Both pains in my ass.”

“Mmm.” she hummed with pleasure, closing her eyes and giving a little shiver. “Stone Hendrix. Dayum. And speaking of asses… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfect one in all my life.”

“Don’t even think about it,” I chided. “That man is all kinds of trouble. I love him, but I love you too, and he’d chew you up and spit you out.”

“Yeah, but just think of how much fun it would be before that.”

“Okay, yuck. No more waxing poetic about a dude who’s like a brother to me. Please? I haven’t even eaten yet and I already feel nauseous.”

She laughed but thankfully changed the subject. Unfortunately, she changed it back to Mace. “So spill! I know you’re holding something back from me. Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

Continuing to argue wasn’t going to do me a damn bit of good, and I was already struggling with everything I was feeling on my own. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore; I needed an ear to vent to or I was going to lose my mind.

Placing my elbows on the table, I scrubbed at my face in agitation. “I’m so screwed, Av. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

The waiter appeared again with our meals. Once they were set in place and we were alone again, Ava leaned in and reached both arms across the table. Reading her meaning, I placed my hands in hers so she could hold them tight. “Talk to me, honey. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m crazy about him,” I confessed painfully, still holding her hands but staring down at my chicken Caesar salad. “I fell in love with him when I was ten years old. It wasn’t that naïve, little girl kind of love—I mean I really loved him. For seven years. Then I finally found the courage to tell him the truth, and he broke my heart. It took me years to get over him, Av, years. I promised myself I was never going to settle. I was going to find a guy who adored me, who I loved just as much, and I wasn’t going to accept any less than what I deserved. And look what I did. I didn’t just settle. I lowered the goddamn bar.”

“You didn’t know, Lyla. None of us knew. Daniel fooled everyone.”

“That’s not true,” I whispered with a sad shake of my head. “I sensed things were off. The signs were there. I was even having second thoughts before we got married, but I told myself it was because I hadn’t completely let go of Mace. I convinced myself that I wasn’t giving Daniel a fair chance because of Mace. If that’s not denial, I don’t know what is.”

“You have got to stop blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault. You fought to keep something you thought was right. That’s not a weakness, that’s strength. Giving up is easy, but you didn’t do that. You gave your marriage every single chance, doing everything in your power to make it better before you finally threw in the towel. Not many people can say that.”

I’d never stopped to think of it like that. It was easier to place the blame on myself for getting into that relationship in the first place than to accept why I’d fought so hard. And I’d fought for it because I didn’t want to have any regrets. I never wanted to have to say I didn’t try hard enough. I was hoping the group I’d joined would help me get there.

“So you were in love with him and he broke your heart. Is that why you’re hesitant to go there again?”

“No. Well, not completely. I’ll admit it was hard to let that go at first, but I think I have. I’m not bitter about it anymore.”

“Then what is it?”

“He almost died, Ava. I told you that. That’s why I had to fly all the way to Prague, because he nearly drank himself to death. Daniel was a drunk. How stupid would I be to get tangled up in another guy with the same damn problem?”

She examined me closely in that way a BFF does when she can pretty much read your mind. “You’re scared.”

“I’m terrified.”

“Of what? Of Mace getting drunk and beating the hell out of you, or of taking another risk on him and being hurt again?”

Damn her and her stupid perceptiveness. “Mace would never hurt me physically,” I insisted passionately. “Never.”

Her smile was small and full of empathy as she spoke. “Then there you have it, honey.”

My head tilted in confusion. “There I have what?”

She propped her forearms on the table and clasped her hands. “Look, there’s one simple way to figure this out. Answer this question for me: What’s the worse outcome? That you take your shot and it doesn’t work out, or that you don’t and never know if you missed out on something amazing?”

I knew without having to give it any thought. Instead of answering flat-out, I pinched my face into a glare and said, “You know, you’re really freaking annoying when you’re being all intuitive and shit.”

She grinned triumphantly and picked up her fork to spear a piece of lettuce. “Don’t hate just because I’m awesome like that.”

She didn’t need me to say anything else to know she’d hit the nail on the head, and being the amazing friend she was, she let it drop without pressing me any further. We finished our lunch on more pleasant conversation, and spent five minutes hugging and going on about how much we’d miss each other before parting ways.

But as I drove back to my parents’ house I kept replaying the question over and over in my head. And every single time the answer was same.

No doubt about it. It would be worse to never know.

Well shit.