To say last night was a clusterfuck of epic proportions would’ve been the understatement of the century. It hadn’t helped matters that I’d had way too much tequila and made a drunken fool of myself.

I woke up that morning with a hangover from hell, pushing the pain and nausea to the back of my mind as I shuffled out of bed and forced myself into the shower. The aftereffects of the alcohol was only mildly masked by my crushing humiliation. I’d gone to that club in an effort to put my heart on the line and ended up being dragged out by my big brother, who’d torn me a new asshole the whole way home before I proceeded to expel all the tequila in my stomach onto the passenger floorboard.

I’d lost track of Bethany at some point in the night, and when all my texts went unanswered, I’d finally given up. I’d check on her later this morning; first, I had something more important to do.

I had one last shot at telling Mace the truth, and I couldn’t let it slip through my fingers just because my veins contained more booze than blood. After washing the stench of shame and smoke from the club off my skin, I dressed as quickly as possible, blowing my hair dry and twisting it up in a messy knot on top of my head before slapping on a bit of mascara and lip gloss. I didn’t have the time or energy to do anything more. There was a gnawing in my gut that had nothing to do with the shots from last night, telling me I needed to act fast.

I knew Mace had used one of his first paychecks to buy himself an apartment in San Francisco incase he ever came to visit. Will and I had actually gone to scope it out and give the okay for him since he was in LA and couldn’t do it himself. So that was where I headed, hoping he’d finally be using the place for the first time in years.

While the elevator took me up to his floor, I twisted my fingers together and worried my bottom lip between my teeth as nerves took hold. By the time I reached his front door and knocked, I’d chewed so hard on my lip that the acrid taste of blood coated my tongue.

All the saliva in my mouth dried up and my throat felt like it was full of cotton when Mace answered the door with nothing but a sheet wrapped around his lower half. Unlike the other guys, his arms were free of tattoos, but the band’s logo of a skull with guitar necks instead of crossbones was inked on his massive chest just above his heart. I’d always thought he was the sexiest guy in the world with his clothes on, but like this… well, I couldn’t even form a coherent thought. For crying out loud, he was so ripped even his muscles had muscles. Inch after inch of golden skin was rippled and defined, and I had the intense desire to run my tongue along every crevice.

“Lyla? What are you doing here?”

I’d been so absorbed in my task of committing every divot and groove on his body to memory that I didn’t notice the shock and panic in his eyes as I pushed past him and into the apartment.

“I’m sorry to just show up like this,” I began. “I just needed to see you. I hate how we left things last night, and I wanted to make it right.”

“Now’s not really a good time, Goldie. Can we maybe do this later?”

“No… I mean, I can’t.” I closed my eyes and shook my head as I began to pace the sparsely decorated living room. “What I mean to say is I need to do this now. If I wait any longer, I’ll chicken out.”

“Fuck,” he hissed, tucking the blanket tighter around his hips before raking a hand through his messy dark hair.

That wasn’t the most encouraging thing to hear, but I pressed on anyway, the need to get the words out building and building inside me, threatening to explode like a soda can that had been shaken up.

Deciding to be completely honest, I spoke the words I’d only ever confessed to my journals. “I love you, Mace. I’m in love with you. I have been since the very first time I laid eyes on you.”

“Lyla—”

“No, please. Just let me get this out,” I pleaded. “I might be young, but I know what I feel.” I moved close, taking his face in my hands and lowering my voice as I smiled. “I’ve been in love with you since I was ten years old, Mace. You’re it for me.”

Taking the hugest leap of faith I’d ever taken in my life, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips against his. Mace’s mouth immediately opened and his tongue drove into mine. I might’ve started the kiss, but he took over in an instant. A moan worked its way up my throat as his fingers dug into my hips. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth so thoroughly, like I was the sweetest, most delicious thing he’d ever tasted.

My head fell back on another ragged moan when his lips disconnected from mine and traveled down the sensitive flesh of my neck. “God, Mace,” I whimpered. “I love you so much.”

For some reason, repeating that had the same effect as a bucket of water being dumped over his head.

He jerked away like I’d just stabbed him, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Shit, Ly, sweetheart. We can’t do this.”

I stumbled back a step, my knees having turned to jelly from the kiss. “What? Why?”

“Are you kidding?” he bit out, his jaw clenched like it was taking everything in him to fight something back. “Goldie, you’re seventeen!”

“I’ll be eighteen in just a few months.”

“Christ,” he gritted as he paced and rubbed at the back of his neck. “This isn’t happening right now.”

My stomach plummeted to the floor, and I could feel my heart beginning to crack. “You kissed me back,” I whispered. “I’m not delusional. I felt it. You kissed me back, Mace. And I saw you watching me last night at dinner and at the club. I’m not an ignorant little kid. I know what I saw and felt. You can’t deny it.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Anger began to burn in my veins that he could have such little regard for what we’d just shared.

“How can you say that?” I demanded. “Tell me what I felt wasn’t real. That what I saw was all in my head.” He stopped and stood silent, watching me with a pained expression like he was coming apart. And I knew then that what he was fighting so hard was his draw to me. “I love you, Mace,” I continued, softening my voice as I closed the distance between us and placed my palms on his chest. “I know you feel something for me too. I can see it in your eyes right now.”

“You’re killing me, Goldie,” he whispered, his voice tortured as he leaned down to rest his forehead against mine. “What you felt was real.” All the breath whooshed from my lungs as a beaming smile stretched across my face. “But,” he continued, killing that sudden burst of happiness, “it can’t happen. Ever. I’m drawn to you, I’ll admit that. You’ve always been important to me, sweetheart. So goddamn important. I feel something for you, but I can’t ever act on it. It just can’t happen.”

It was amazing how a person could go from bliss to soul-crushing heartache in the span of just a few seconds. It was like being hit by a truck. “Why not?” I whispered, my voice cracking as tears welled in my eyes.

“Oh, baby. Please don’t cry.” He cupped my cheeks, using his thumbs to brush away the few that escaped.

“Then tell me why. I deserve to know.”

“Because you’re not just some girl. You’re Lyla, my Goldie. I’m not the best when it comes to relationships, and you aren’t a woman you just take a shot with. You deserve so much more than that. You deserve promises, and I’m not in a place to make those kinds of promises right now.”

“I don’t need promises,” I insisted, a hint of desperation in my words. “I’m not asking for that. I know this would take time. We’d have to build it. I just want to know there’s a chance. That’s all I’m asking. Just give us a chance.”

Mace tangled his fingers in my hair, and for a second I thought it was all going to work out.

But I’d been so damn wrong.

“No.”

With one word, he broke my heart.

“What’s going on?”

When I turned to look over my shoulder at the person who’d just spoken, those two broken pieces shattered and splintered, turning to dust.

“Bethany?” I asked on a ravaged whisper. “What are you… how…?” She was dressed in nothing but a Civil Corruption T-shirt. Her hair was a tangled mess around her shoulders, and her lips were red and swollen. “How could you?”

“Lyla,” Mace called, drawing my attention back to him. “You know each other?”

“My best friend?” I seethed, jerking out of his grasp and skewering him with a look. “You fucked my best friend?”

“Fucking shit,” he grunted, agony washing over his expression. “I didn’t… Goldie, I didn’t know.”

“How could you?” I repeated on a shout as I turned back to Bethany. “I told you how I felt about him!”

She looked right through me, like I was a complete stranger instead of her best friend. “Don’t be such a drama queen, Ly. It’s too damn early. All you said was you had a crush. You didn’t say anything about being in love with the dude.”

“What’s the matter with you?” I yelled so loud my ears rang.

“What’s the matter with me?” Venom dripped from her words. “Poor little perfect Lyla,” she sneered. “How’s it feel to finally not get something you want?”

The force of her anger was so strong that the words felt like a physical slap, sending me back a step. “What are you talking about?”

“Every guy at school is stupid for you, and you don’t even notice! You could have any one of them. Hell, they’d line up just for a shot at you, but you’re too much of a good girl to even realize! Everyone just loves Lyla. She’s got the perfect hair and the perfect clothes and the perfect loving family. People like me are just stuck with the scraps. So yeah, when I got my shot with the guy of your dreams, I jumped at it. And you know what? I’d do it all over again, because now you know what the rest of us feel like.”

“You stupid bitch,” Mace snarled at her. “Get your shit and get the fuck out of my apartment before I throw you out on your goddamn ass!”

“You know what?” I cut in, somehow managing to pour all the hate I was feeling into my voice despite the tears streaming down my face. “Don’t even worry about it. I’m leaving.”

“Lyla, wait—”

“No.” I pulled my arm from Mace’s grasp when he tried to stop me from storming out. “You’ve already made it clear you don’t want me, and I can’t stand the fucking sight of her.”

He reached for me again, refusing to give up. “Goldie, just wait. Please. Let me get rid of this bitch, and you and I can talk. There’s still a lot I need to say.”

“Not anything I want to hear,” I replied brokenly. “Forgive me, but I’ve taken all the hits I’m prepared to take today. Now let me go.”

“Please, Ly.”

“Let. Me. Go,” I hissed between clenched teeth.

He finally did as ordered, and I ran out of that apartment like the hounds of Hell were nipping at my heels.

* * *

Mace

“Well I don’t know about you, but that was all the soap opera bullshit I can handle for one day,” Bethany said as she moved through my living room in the direction of the kitchen, stopping in front of me and smiling seductively as she stood on her tiptoes and ran her tongue along my jawline. “You got any coffee? I’m dragging this morning. You really wore me out last night. Maybe after, I’ll let you in for round three? Or would it be four?”

The sassy wink she’d just given me morphed into fear as I put my palm in the center of her chest shoved her away from me. “You stupid cunt,” I hissed.

“Oh please!” she cried, masking her fright with false bravado. “Don’t act all sanctimonious now. You didn’t seem to want me gone half an hour ago when your dick was down my throat.”

“That was before I knew what I venomous bitch you really are,” I growled in return.

“What is it about her, huh?” she shouted, throwing her arms wide. “She’s not fucking perfect, you know. I’m just as good as she is!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I countered. “You pulled that shit just now because you know you’ll never be a quarter of what Lyla is. You’re the one men fuck and forget about the second they blow their load. That’s all you’ll ever be. She’s the one men want to keep.”

Desperation washed over her as she attempted to get close and touch me. “I can be the woman you want to keep.”

“Not a fuckin’ chance. If you hadn’t come out when you did I would have forgotten you were even here. Now what part of get the fuck outta my apartment didn’t you understand? Don’t make me repeat myself again. You won’t like what happens.”

She didn’t hang around long after that. Rushing back into the bedroom, she took about two seconds to get dressed and grab her shit before rushing through the front door.

“Fuck me,” I grunted, scrubbing at my face in distress. I needed to burn that goddamn shirt she’d been wearing, along with my sheets to try and destroy any evidence she’d ever been here. Then I had to find a way to fix whatever this was between Lyla and me, but a fierce churning in my gut told me it wasn’t going to be so easy.