She woke up the first time curled up on him like a kitten. Legs tangled together, face pressed into his chest, shoulder and arm screaming as if she’d taken a mallet to them.

No, just used them to give a very good blowjob, if she did say so herself.

She’d shifted on him until the pain had abated enough for her to snuggle in again. He was a giant wall of a man around her, enfolding her in a way she never would’ve guessed she would like. But for someone who liked to protest she could take care of herself, she didn’t mind being sheltered in his embrace right then.

Not one bit.

The next time she woke up, he was behind her, his huge body curved in around hers. Arm around her waist, his mouth turned into her hair. Sleeping so soundly she didn’t have the heart to wake him though she really needed to pee.

She hoped Teag was okay. And that she hadn’t heard them moaning—or laughing, though the laughter had been brief.

Somehow she didn’t know which seemed more disrespectful.

After what Teagan had endured the night before, she knew she shouldn’t have touched Mal. The timing had been highly inappropriate. Even if he’d been hard as a rock and right there. She needed to learn some self-control.

As for remembering she hated him… Yeah, that wasn’t working so well anymore.

Especially since he gave really good spoon. Like holy crap.

But she wasn’t stupid. The way they were learning to be together, figuring out some stuff about each other away from the madness that was Warning Sign—that couldn’t last. They’d go home and eventually they’d climb on their bus again and it’d be back to square zero.

She wasn’t even sure she’d get to fuck him first.

Maybe it was better if she didn’t. They’d given each other a respite this morning, and perhaps they could learn to be friends.

It didn’t have to be any big thing.

Except she was already making it into one.

Gah, she was such a girl sometimes. He might be into her physically, but that didn’t mean he wanted more from her. The idea was patently ludicrous.

Malachi Shawcross in a real relationship? Yeah, right.

So why hadn’t he wanted to have sex with her? Seemed like if he was only looking for a booty call, he would’ve hit it and quit it as fast as possible. Instead he kept putting her off…and it definitely wasn’t from lack of interest.

He’d come so fucking fast. And she hated that she knew he normally didn’t, thanks to his bus exploits, but there it was.

Across the room, her phone went off with Lila’s text ringtone.

Oh Lord, really? Right now?

Sorry, can’t take your call. I’m in bed with your former stepson.

Li sent through a couple more texts before her phone went silent. Luckily, Mal was still out. Guess he’d needed the sleep as much as she had.

Nothing like an orgasm cure to beat insomnia.

She stifled a yawn and pressed her face deeper into the pillow. Mal’s peppermint bodywash smell was all over the bedding. Not that she liked it because it was his.

Liar.

The next time she woke, that comforting weight around her was gone. It was dark, but not deep dark. The kind just after sunset, because she’d slept the whole day away in bed with Mal.

Mal who was now MIA.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, then pushed at the covers. She’d gone to sleep with none, but she’d awakened under the sheet and blanket. All tucked in. He had a hidden sweet side, and she didn’t know what to do with it.

A soft knock came at the door. “I heard you moving around in there. You up?”

Teagan.

“Yes, I’m up. Come in.”

Teagan pushed open the door and carted in a tray with a fancy tea pot and two cute little cups.

Two.

Only two.

Mal wouldn’t be one for drinking tea, but still.

“He went out,” Teagan said. “Told me to keep the doors locked and that he wouldn’t be gone long.”

Elle frowned and tucked her hair behind her ears. She also pulled up the blanket under her arms, though it was probably pretty obvious that she was close to naked. Probably just as obvious Mal hadn’t slept on the floor.

“How long ago was that?”

“Not sure. Forty-five minutes? He came tear-assing out of here with his phone in his hand and took off. I could tell he didn’t want to go. Tea?”

Elle blinked at the cup Teagan was holding out. Right. Tea was for drinking, not admiring. “Thank you.” She took one sip and made a face. “Spicy.”

“It’s good for you.” Teagan sat on the side of the bed. “You have a sex glow and I’m totally jealous.”

“Oh, stop it, I do not.”

“You should’ve seen your face when I said he went out. I’ve never actually seen someone look crestfallen before, but you were like the dictionary definition.” She tipped her cup back and sipped as delicately as a duchess. “Does he fuck like a stallion? He looks like he would.”

“I wouldn’t know.” She wasn’t dwelling on that fact either.

Or the one he hadn’t offered to go down on her in reciprocation. Because…Mal. He did what he wanted when he wanted to and not a minute sooner.

Where the hell had he gone?

“Come on. You’re so obvious.”

“I really haven’t. We’re…friendly.” Calling him her friend would be a lie. So friendly worked.

“The dude is capital P possessive of you. Be careful with that.”

“Look, he’s not your ex.” As soon as the words were out, Elle wanted to saw off her tongue. “Don’t listen to me. My head’s just full of too much and my mouth can’t keep up.”

Teagan took another sip of tea and didn’t say anything.

“How are you?” Elle rubbed Teagan’s shoulder. “Did you manage to get any rest?”

“Enough.” Teagan smiled wanly. “I don’t think you’re going to be staying here to watch over me another night.”

Elle took another experimental sip of her tea. She hadn’t known what would happen as far as their bunking arrangements, but Mal had seemed pretty adamant about keeping an eye on Teagan. So what had changed since between when she’d gone to sleep and when she’d awakened? “What do you mean?”

“He told me to ask you to get packed up when you woke up. You know, all your stuff you brought here.”

Elle’s teacup rattled in the saucer as she set it carefully back down. “I’m not ready to go back yet.”

Denver had texted again last night while they were at the club. So had Michael, and Lo, and even Molly and West had sent messages. Luc too. Her entire band was concerned about her—minus one vital component.

Jules.

Which, of course, made sense. Jules had plenty to deal with herself, so she couldn’t be checking in with Elle all the time. Even if Elle had texted her daily since she’d awakened in the hospital.

To her knowledge, Mal hadn’t talked to any of them. Luc had mentioned trying to get through to Mal in passing, but trying and failing to reach him was nothing new. Mal rarely touched his phone.

“I know it seems soon.”

“It is soon. Too soon. I’m not going.” Elle set the teacup and saucer down on the mattress and ran a shaky hand through her hair. She was so freaked out about going home she almost didn’t pay attention to the ache in her shoulder. “Jesus, he wants to dump me off on them.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. You don’t even know if—”

“He’s not one for responsibilities. He must feel like it’s too much, worrying about me. Worrying about you too. Which isn’t your fault,” she added swiftly as Teagan let out a breath. “I’m just saying he’s not the type to deal with real-life stuff like that for long. He likes his freedom.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about him considering you don’t like him.”

Elle pressed her lips together and fell silent.

“Look, you don’t know if he’s taking you home. Where else could he want to go?”

“There’s nowhere else. My sister-in-law called too. She probably got him to shepherd me back home. Little wayward Elle, who always needs guidance. God.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long breath. “Okay, enough of that. Tell me what I can do for you?”

“Do? Like what?”

“Well, he mostly left this room alone, and some of the others, but the living room was trashed, and the kitchen…” Elle trailed off. “I can help you fix it. Get everything back to rights.”

“I did some of that earlier. It’s fine.”

“You can’t have done all of it. There was too much.” Elle swung her legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll take the kitchen, and while I’m at it, I can reorganize your coffee cups. Some of them were cracked and you probably don’t want to keep those.”

Teagan was staring off into space, not reacting at all.

“Hey Teag. Earth to Teag?”

“I keep wondering if this is my fault,” she said slowly, her words halting. “Like if I’d been more careful when I broke up with him, or if I’d picked a different time to tell him. He’d just lost his job.”

“Oh. That’s rough. But I’m sure you did it when you felt was best. Stringing things along isn’t good for anyone.”

Exactly why Mal wants you back on a plane to LA. Won’t be grabbing his dick and sucking him off on the band bus, now will you?

He didn’t do relationships, but they weren’t in a relationship. Was he afraid she’d angle for one if she got in his pants? All the way in anyway.

Everyone knew she had the track record from hell with dudes. She was the person in the band who’d most wanted to settle down—and the only one who wasn’t, minus Mal.

Fine irony there.

“I think I messed things up,” Teagan whispered, setting aside her cup. “If I’d just tried harder to reason with him—”

“You can’t reason with someone like that. It’s not about you, Teag. It’s about power and control. He wanted more over you than you were willing to give.” She stroked her friend’s hair and tugged her into a careful hug. “You did the right thing, and you’re so much stronger and braver than I could ever be.”

Teagan sniffled against her shoulder. “You’re kidding me, right? You cheated death, for God’s sake. You survived and you’ve even managed to come here and have a little fun despite everything that happened.”

Elle shut her eyes. Bravery? Not so much. Abject selfishness, maybe. Chasing orgasms when she should’ve been concentrating more effort on reaching Jules.

Maybe she should send her and Tris flowers and a card. She’d planned to do so to coincide with the services for Randy, but now would be good too. She was behind. That should’ve been the first thing she’d thought of after getting out of the hospital.

Not about Mal, or why he’d saved her life, or why he did anything. None of that was as important as making sure Jules knew she loved her and was thinking about her.

And now she had to do the same for Teagan. Her friends needed her.

Hos before bros. Totally rude and sexist name for women, but she agreed with the sentiment. No man was more important than treasuring a friendship.

“I’ve been running away from real life,” Elle said, easing back. “But it’s better if I stay here a little longer. I have to start PT with the guy here.”

She didn’t, but she was going to. Any handy excuse worked. And if Mal chose to return home without her, well, so be it. She’d stay with Teagan as long as her friend needed her.

Coward.

The front door slammed shut, and both women jolted, immediately gripping each other and looking for a weapon. Elle was up first and moved the teapot to grab the wooden tray, prepared to use it as a battering ram. Bum shoulder and all.

She wasn’t going to sit there and be a victim. Not anymore.

“Ricki? Teagan?” Mal. Thank fuck.

“We’re in here.” Elle turned to Teagan, who’d gone stark white and was clutching the bedside lamp. “It’s okay,” she said after a second when Teagan still didn’t move. She placed the tray on the bedside table and set the teapot back on it, along with her abandoned cup of tea and Teagan’s. “It’s just Mal.”

Mal stepped into the bedroom and exhaled. “Christ, you still haven’t gotten dressed yet?”

Elle didn’t respond, since she was now too busy trying to pry Teagan’s fingers off the lamp. But she did give him the middle finger in her head.

Back to normal, right on schedule.

“And you didn’t pack yet either.” Mal moved closer to the bed. “What the hell are you doing with the lamp?”

Elle gave him a hard stare, and he must’ve finally bought a clue because he piped down.

“I’ve got it. I’m okay.” Teagan nudged Elle back and set the lamp back where it belonged. Then she released a shaky breath. “Sorry, just a little on edge still.”

“Understandable. You will be for a while.” Elle understood that all too well.

“You won’t have to worry. I’ve got someone coming in.” Mal’s authoritative tone immediately set Elle’s hackles rising.

“Someone like who?”

“A bodyguard. She’s from Roth Defense—her name is Sarah.”

“A what?” Teagan frowned. “Why would I need that?”

“Just in case. We aren’t going to be here, so I figured—”

“Um, hello. Not sure if we’ve met.” Elle stepped forward and held out a hand to him. “My name is Richelle Crandall, and you are not the boss of me.”

His lips did that twitching almost-smile thing before his face turned impassive. “I never said I was.”

“Yet we’re leaving, are we? That implies you’re indicating ownership of my person.” She crossed her arms and fought mightily to make her face as impassive as his. Harder to do that when her shoulder was on fire and she was beginning to wish she’d put her sling back on, but she needed to try to lessen her dependence on it.

“Your person needs some clothes.”

“Why? Is my near-nudity bothering you?”

“Yes.”

“Then I feel I am fine just the way I am.”

She really didn’t. She was freezing and felt exposed and Teagan was in the room. They were friends, but that didn’t mean she needed to show off her scars and everything else. She was making a point, however.

He didn’t seem interested in her point, since he was staring over her head. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes, so get packed.”

“Did you not hear a word I said?”

Teagan cleared her throat and picked up her tea tray. “I’ll just be in the kitchen. Call if you need me.” Teagan shot her a quick glance before easing past the mammoth being in the doorway and disappearing down the hall.

Elle sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not going with you.”

“Oh yes, you are. I’m not leaving without you.”

Part of her rejoiced at the sentiment, but the rest did not appreciate his tactics one bit. “I’m not ready to go back. I heard Li’s text ringtone earlier, and maybe she recruited you to convince me it was time, but it’s not. I’m not going.” She let out a long breath. “Not just yet. Okay?”

“So let’s not go back ever.”

“What?” She frowned. “Now you’re just talking crazy talk.”

“If you can, so can I.”

Of course, he had to be pulling some kind of reverse psychology bullshit on her. “I’m not being crazy. I know I have to go back. I just need a little more time.” She swallowed hard and fumbled for the blanket, drawing it tightly around herself. “Before the service. I’ll go back then. I know we have shows planned, and someday I’ll be able to play again.”

“Don’t ‘someday’ that shit. It’ll happen soon.”

“I want to be there to pay my respects. For Jules and Tris and all the others. I just can’t yet. I can’t.”

He surprised her by sitting down beside her on the edge of the bed. Close, but not too close. “Then we won’t.”

“We?”

She liked the sound of that too much, which proved she was on dangerous ground. It wasn’t just being a we with anyone. It was him. The man she was beginning to realize he was behind the sarcasm and the silences and the myriad attempts to push people away. There was more there, and she liked that he was a puzzle.

Oh, she hadn’t, say, a week ago. Ten days ago. Back then, she’d had no use for him. She’d never doubted his skills on the skins, and she figured he had to have a good quality or two buried deep, but she’d had no interest in finding out what. He was rude and uncouth and…Mal.

Just so very Mal.

He was still rude and uncouth, and very much the kind of guy who would belch and look at you as if you’d done it. But that was surface stuff. Underneath, he was more.

“Yeah, we.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Not like I’m in a hurry to go back either. Press circling, emotional crap right and left, questions. Fucking questions everywhere.” He let his hands drop into his lap.

“It’s hard being a hero.” Her tone was teasing, but the look he gave her was not. So she took a risk and leaned in, hooking her hand behind his neck. “Am I allowed to still kiss you or was that only before?”

“Usually, I prefer to make the moves.”

“Sorry, but my lifespan is predicted to be eighty years.” She tilted her head and found his lips with her own, savoring the bite of crisp air from outside and the flavor of the gum he’d been chewing. Cinnamon. Red-hot. So fitting.

But he didn’t let her command things for long. He pushed his hands into her hair, slanting his mouth over hers and taking control in a hard, possessive way that shot thrills straight to her toes.

Earlier so had not been a one-off. This was a man who could make her come disturbingly easily. Even if he was already moving back again.

She sighed. “Is your appeal the fact that you play so hard to get? I never got that vibe from you on the bus.”

“I’m not playing hard to get. I’m very easy to get. You have no fucking clue how much I want to roll you underneath me and fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

She blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

That mercurial little half smile came and went so fast she nearly missed it. “We’re still leaving.”

“But I thought you just said—”

“Not going home yet.” He rose and pulled her blanket back up on her shoulder. “You’re just gonna have to trust me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m bigger than you and will toss you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes if you don’t come willingly.”

“Unless there’s actual coming involved, try it and see what part of you survives.”

“Not everything has to do with sex.”

It was only because she saw him tuck his tongue in his cheek that she let him get away with it. “It does when you’re getting denied right and left,” she muttered.

“You barely even need me for that.” At her death glare, he held up his hands, palms out. “I’m jealous. Really.”

“You are not the slightest bit funny. Tell me where we’re going or I will scream loud enough to pierce your eardrums if you so much as lay one little finger on me.”

“Let’s just say it’s the happiest place on Earth.”

She frowned. “We’re going to Disney World? While I’d love to see you in a pair of Mickey ears, I’m not thinking it’s your bag.”

“Christ, no.” He moved to the door. “Look, I have just a few minutes to convince your friend that she needs a bodyguard.”

Elle frowned. “Do you honestly think that’s a good idea? I don’t like the idea of leaving her right now.”

Then again, would she really want to leave her in ten days either? And she would have to. She couldn’t just hide out back East forever.

No matter how tempting it was.

“It sucks. All-around sucks. I wish we had more time, but—”

“Why don’t we?”

“The woman who’s going to shadow her, she’s good. Donovan recommended. This is the same firm he’s using for the increased security at Ripper.” He gripped the edge of the door. “We’re not leaving her in just anybody’s hands. She’ll be with a woman as well, so it will look like she’s got a friend staying with her.”

Again with the we stuff. And he was talking more than he ever did, so he had to be worried.

About her friend that he barely knew.

Elle swallowed hard, rubbing her arm almost unconsciously. The pins and needles were back again. “I intend to call her often. If anything seems off, I need to be back here.”

He gave a short nod. “Just pack and get ready, all right?” He waited a beat, then rasped, “Please.”

“Well, look at that. He knows the magic word.” And there she was, going to the dresser to retrieve her things like a nice little horny, curious girl.

Far too curious for her own good.

“If we can come back, we will. I just don’t want to make promises.”

“Very cryptic. Also, do you ever want to make promises? I can’t see it being a preferred pastime of yours.”

“Pack.” The barked word only made her smile. “And put some damn clothes on. Maybe two layers.”

He didn’t slam the door, but the effect was there.

She unwrapped the blanket and tossed it on the bed, then opened the top dresser drawer and pulled out her underwear.

Mal was still a grouchy asshole.

And she was beginning to like him. A lot.