Chapter Twenty-Nine

I couldn’t tell you how nervous I was standing on Jerry’s doorstep. I stood out there so long working up the courage to just knock on the darn door that he finally just opened it.

“Hey,” he said. “I saw you out here. Want to come in?”

I smiled sheepishly and looked down at the ground. There was something subtly sexy about how he narrowed his eyes at me and smiled. My mouth immediately went dry as cotton on a Southern summer day.

“Sure,” I managed to squeak out despite the dry mouth.

He led me inside, his hand on the small of my back and I got the shakes all over from nerves and tension.

“Can I have a glass of water?” I asked.

“Sure,” said Jerry.

This served the dual purpose of getting him out of the room while I composed myself and getting some much-needed liquid into my system. If this visit was going to be anything like the last time, I simply had to get some moisture into my mouth.

I very well can’t perform fellatio on him with a cotton mouth! My mind had been screaming at me.

Honestly, I was surprised the part of my mind that used words like “fellatio” even existed anymore. I thought that it had shriveled up and died along with the hope that came with youth. But then again, Jerry had a way of bringing that kind of thing out in me.

He came back with the water which I gratefully drank. We sat there for a minute and I didn’t know if he wanted me to chat with him, ask him to go to the bedroom or what. We had the entire house to ourselves, but we just sat there.

What could he possibly be thinking right now? I wondered.

Maybe he’s just waiting for me to make the first move?

“Do you want me to… to take off my clothes?” I asked him.

My heart fluttered, and I thought I would faint then and there.

“No,” said Jerry.

My heart stopped fluttering to sink. I had read the situation wrong. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to die right then and there.

“I don’t want you to take off your clothes,” he said.

This only seemed to rub salt into the wound. But then, to my shock and amazement, he began to undress me.

“I want to be the one to take off your clothes,” he said with a playful grin.

He did so with speed that I never thought anyone could be capable of when undressing someone other than themselves. Soon, I was naked and exposed to him. It didn’t take him long before he was wildly grasping onto my penis and plying my neck, with sweet, gentle, little kisses.

My bare skin dressed itself with goosebumps. I shivered in pure pleasure and fell back onto the couch where we had made love the last time. Not only did Jerry continue to ravish my body, he did so with all the control and confidence that I had come to know and respect in him.

Straddling my body, he began to peel off his own clothes, piece by piece until he was down to his boxers.

“What’s next?” I asked, still feeling nervous and tense.

“Whatever you want,” he said with a smile as his muscular body loomed over me like a totem to some deity long forgotten, but no less mystical.

“Take the lead,” I said to him. “I want you to take the lead.”

This was what he had been waiting for. He lay back on the other side of the long, sectional sofa. Now, instead of his naked torso, his long, thick, penis stood in his place while he was horizontal. However, it was no less mystical or godlike.

He pointed at it and with a single finger and made a “come hither” motion toward me with it. I crawled up on to him and over to the beautiful genitals at which he was pointing. I pulled his boxers off all the way to free it in all its massive, smooth glory. It was, after all, what I had come there for.

I lowered my mouth onto it. Even though I had done it once before, I was still inexperienced, but was I ever eager to put in the effort for him! It was so large; the tip was hitting my tonsils before I was even halfway down!

“Look up at me,” Jerry commanded.

I did as he asked, even while I gagged a little from how large he was in my mouth.

Jerry moaned.

“You’re such a good boy!” he said. “You’re good at this! You’re a good little cock sucker!”

That was what I wanted to be more than anything in the world. Being called a “good little cocksucker” made me so hard that I wanted him to think of me that way even more. My heart hurt that I wouldn’t be able to stay with him and the only thing that made me feel better was punishing myself. However, punishing myself, only made me harder.

Continuing to make eye contact, I proceeded to give him what I am certain was the sloppiest blowjob anyone had ever given another person in the history of time.

This went on for a while before he moved me around. I was amazed at the brute strength at which he was able to do so and I realized that he had been gentle with me for the entire time. Had he wanted to, he could have overpowered me in an instant.

The thought of this made me almost come right then and there, but I had the lack of consciousness to refrain from doing so. I wanted to see what he would do next.

What he did next did not disappoint. While I was on my hands and knees on the couch, he put a finger inside my anus.

“Ooh!” I exclaimed in surprise.

“Shhh…” Jerry hushed me.

Even in the way he shushed me, I could tell there was a smile on his face. He clearly enjoyed what he was doing.

He slowly added another finger and then another until there were three inside me.

“Oh!” I moaned in deep pleasure.

“Do you like that?” Jerry asked, his voice husky with desire.

“Oh yes!” I exclaimed. “Oh yes! I do!”

“Good,” he said. “Then you’ll love this.”

He then proceeded to perform on me what I believe they call “rimming”. I swear to you, my eyes rolled back into my head and I saw the white light that people see when they are given the opportunity to pass on. I headed straight for it and was rewarded with heaven.

He pulled back and began to rub the tip of his penis against my hole. I knew right then and there that I wanted him inside me and I wouldn’t be able to die happy unless he did so.

“Say it!” Jerry demanded. “Say you want my cock.”

I don’t know if I had transcended past my own hang-ups and neuroticism or if the lock on the part of my brain that allowed me to use dirty language had been broken once and for all, but something about what he was doing to me had been the source of a miracle.

“I…” I stammered. “I want it! I want your cock!”

“Where?” Jerry asked.

“Inside of me!” I exclaimed, half-exasperated and horny as all get out. “I want your cock inside of me! I want you to fuck me!”

Those were the magic words as he plunged deep within me and I began to see the workings of the cosmos (as in the stars and the planets, not the cocktail).

At first, he fucked me agonizingly slow. I could feel his testicles press sensuously against my ass cheeks. This went on until I couldn’t take it any longer.

“Fuck me hard!” I exclaimed.

“Aye aye, captain!” Jerry said back.

I could hear the humor in his voice, but I didn’t care. I was in the throes of something that went beyond my own ego. It was pure, primal lust, from deep within the recesses of my ego.

He began to thrust with the speed of a lion on the Savannah and the power of a charging bull. His thighs slapped against my ass, making short, loud, snapping sounds of skin on skin contact.

As he slammed into me, some deep, pulsating, sensation began to emanate from the core of my body as well as the core of my soul. Something had begun that I could not stop. Deep within my gut, uncontrollable wails and moans came out, which Jerry matched with his own cries.

Soon, hot, wet strands of ejaculate came out of me, painting my legs and the couch like some wild Jackson Pollock painting, only, it meant far more to me than any old painting would. Almost immediately after I came, I felt my anus fill with Jerry’s seed and I felt full in literally every way.

We fell back onto opposite ends of the couch. My entire body was covered in a mist of sweat and I went from feeling fuller than I had ever been in my life to feeling…. Empty.

I wouldn’t say that it was emptier than I had ever been in my entire life. That would have actually been preferable. The sad fact was something that Elijah had been trying to tell me for years; I had been empty all along. I was only just realizing it in that moment because I had a moment of true fulfillment.

This is all temporary, I told myself and for the first time since arriving in Milwaukee, it wasn’t a comforting affirmation.

My heart was broken and it hadn’t broken upon the realization of all this. Rather, it had been breaking from the moment I met Jerry because I knew that I would eventually have to leave.

Suddenly, the room was very cold. The post coital heat had left my body quickly and there was no nearby source of warmth other than Jerry. Not caring about the consequences, I scrambled across the couch to where he lay and grasped to him tightly.

I was half relieved, half disappointed when he held me back. Even though I still had to pack and make sure I made it to the airport back to California on time, I let myself drift into a light sleep. This wasn’t because I was particularly sleepy. It was because it hurt too much to be conscious in the moment.

By the time I woke up, the sky had gone grayish blue, indicating that the early evening had set in and soon, the world would be black. At my side, Jerry continued to slumber

I amazed myself by slipping past him without waking him up.

It would be best if I didn’t wake him before I leave, I thought as I slowly dressed myself so as to remain quiet as possible. Maybe he fell asleep because of how hard this is for him as well.

I managed to put on all my clothes without making a sound and headed toward the door. I considered looking back, but I knew that my heart simply couldn’t take it.

“Ron…” a small voice came from behind me, too small to have come from any man, much less a man as large and confident as Jerry.

But, alas, turning revealed that the small, frail cry had come from the man lying on the couch. His eyes were open and glassy wet with tears. Upon seeing this, tears immediately came to my eyes.

I didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say; he had known that I would have to go someday and accepted everything that hurt about it when we first got into this, as had I. I also couldn’t say anything, because my heart had leaped into my throat and I could have sworn that I was physically unable to do so.

I tried to manage a “goodbye”, but it only came out as a whimper. I turned around and left that place so that I could leave Milwaukee, so that I could leave Wisconsin. My Midwestern ordeal was over.