Chicago was still the same old city when I landed, but I felt like a changed man. My twelve hour flight gave me more time to think about my decision. I was convinced more than ever that it was the right one to make, especially after what happened on that plane. The woman seated next to me had an interesting story to tell. She was a lesbian who was stuck in the closet for decades. She married a man and had three kids. After he died, she decided to come out to her family and friends. She was tired of living a lie. It turned out to be the best decision of her life. She reconnected with an old childhood friend who had a crush on her in high school. They fell in love and moved in together a couple of months ago. Her story inspired me to write some new lyrics for our upcoming album. I already had an entire notebook of lyrics thanks to Danny. He was my artistic muse.

We landed in Chicago early in the morning. I took a cab to my apartment and called Theo. The band was performing at a charity concert tomorrow. They were raising money for a children’s cancer hospital near Lake Michigan. I invited them to have lunch at my place right before the concert. I was planning on feeding them ridiculous amounts of sushi before telling them I was gay. Food always did the trick. Eight years ago, I cooked dinner for my foster family and surprised them with a sixty-thousand dollar check. They used it to pay off a chunk of their debts and buy groceries. Too bad they moved to New Zealand. I would have loved to introduce them to Danny. If he agreed to take me back that is.

I was a fucking idiot for ruining what we had. Why did I open my big mouth in the first place? I sulked on my couch and flipped through my endless supply of television channels. My brain was about to explode from all the guilt and anger. Anger at myself for behaving the way I did. There was no excuse for the harsh words I said. None. Negative. I was supposed to be good with words. Hell, I wrote lyrics and composed music for a living. I could have easily communicated my feelings in a more nuanced way. Instead, I charged in like an angry bull and broke every item in the fucking China shop.

“Come on. You can do it. Just rip it off like a band-aid.”

I finally talked myself into calling my publicist. She picked up on the first ring.

“Hey, Miranda.”

“Good morning! Are you back from Raplen?”

“Yep.” I nodded. “Did you miss me?”

“Always.” She chuckled. “So, what can I do for you this fine morning?”

“Do you remember the conversation we had at your office?”

“Ah. Yes. The one about coming out. Why? Did something happen? Do I need to do emergency damage control?” She started freaking out, much to my amusement.

“No. Negative. Jeez. Calm down.”

“Nathan.”

“Miranda. I’ve decided to break down the doors of my stuffy closet.” I declared. “In fact, I plan on telling everyone that I’m gay and proud tomorrow. I may even wave a rainbow flag during our charity concert.”

I heard nothing but silence on the other end of the line. “If you choose to throw my advice out the window, then there is nothing I can do to stop you. You pay me to make you look good, not the other way round.”

“I know. I just wanted to give you a heads-up.” I replied.

“I still think that coming out to your fans right now is a very bad idea though.” She warned. “It could backfire in a multitude of ways.”

“You know what? Raplen and its people taught me the importance of being true to yourself. This is what we should be telling our fans right now. We need to send a positive message to our young audience. We need to control the narrative before somebody else does.”

“Okay, Nathan. Do your thing, I’m here for you, if something goes wrong, pick up your phone and call me.”

“Sure thing.” I hung up and sat down next to the window. I watched the ant-sized cars move at a sluggish pace down the highway. Tomorrow was shaping up to be a big day for me.

I spent the rest of the afternoon mentally preparing my coming out speech. My band and their reaction worried me the most. They were the only family I had. Sure they sometimes crawled under my skin and drove me crazy, but our on-stage chemistry was phenomenal. We meshed perfectly. Theo gave me the creative freedom to write my own lyrics and had my back during our meetings with the record label. When our first album went platinum, the head of the label wanted us to rush back into the studio and record another one. We both said no. Lying to your best friend about who you were on a daily basis took its toll on me. I went through a dark phase where I partied nonstop and drank a shitload of alcohol. I fucked up big time.

One day, after vomiting for what felt like hours, Theo slapped me hard on the cheek and told me to get my shit together. He got rid of my unlimited supply of vodka and Hennessey and took me to rehab. If it weren’t for him, I would have probably drowned and died in my own pool of misery.

Fuck. I had to tell him the truth before it was too late.

The next morning, I bolted out of bed in a hurry and called my cleaning lady. She showed up ten minutes later and helped me tidy up my messy apartment. I barely had time to unpack or wash the tower of dishes in the sink.

I was nervous as fuck. What I was about to do was going to change my life forever. I ordered sushi for the gang and deep dish pizza for Theo. I made sure there was beer in the fridge before getting dressed for the concert. I sprayed enough deodorant to prevent me from sweating like a pig and combed my hair real quick.

The doorbell rang at three o’clock sharp. I rushed to answer it and almost tripped over the carpet. “Fuck.” I muttered before opening the door.

“Dude! Long time no see.” Theo greeted me with a smile.

Everyone showed up, including Calvin who was carrying a gift bag in his hand. Cassie pulled me into a hug and handed me a bottle of red wine. “Sorry about making the moves on you, Jay. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.” She whispered in my ear.

She walked past me before I had the chance to react. Calvin, Guy, and Theo made themselves comfortable on my leather couch. I coughed and placed their gifts on the coffee table.

“Thanks for coming guys.” I caught Theo staring at me with a weird expression on his face.

“Sure. No problem. So what’s the reason behind this invitation? Did you get secretly hitched to a Raplen princess? Is the world about to end? Because you’ve never done this before.”

I coughed again and asked them to join me at the dining table. They sat down and dug into the plates of sushi, sashimi, and pizza. I was too damn nervous to eat anything. I handed them each a can of chilled beer and watched them wolf down their food. Theo shot me a few curious looks over his plate. I rearranged the fork, knife and salt shaker in front of me and avoided his gaze.

“Nathan. Stop moving shit around.” He finally said. “What the fuck is going on?”

I took a deep breath and leaned forward in my chair. Cassie and the others stopped eating and gave me their full attention. “Did you try the pizza? It’s pretty great.”

“Nathan!”

“Okay. Okay. Just give me a second.” I ran my nervous fingers through my hair and glanced at Theo. He sat at the edge of his seat with concern written all over his bearded face. “Guys, there is something you need to know about me.”

“Uh-oh.”

“I’ve been keeping this secret for years.”

“Oh shit.” Calvin dragged his chair close to mine. “Are you terminally ill?”

“Calvin. Stop interrupting him.” Theo lashed out.

I dug my fingers into the soft fabric of my khakis. The anticipation was killing us all. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m...gay.” That last word fell from my lips like a sweet piece of chocolate. It felt good to say it out loud.

“Gay.” Theo repeated. His face went blank all of a sudden.

“Yes.” I held my breath, bracing myself for his reaction.

Cassie gasped. Calving and Guy gaped at me in shock. Theo suddenly pushed back his chair and moved to stand by the window. He looked visibly upset by my confession. I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and followed him. “Why?” He asked with tears in his eyes. “Why would you keep this from me?”

I hugged my shoulders. “Honestly? I was afraid you’d reject me. I was afraid of letting you down. We both worked so hard to put this band together. I didn’t want to rock the boat.”

“Reject you? Are you fucking crazy? We’re brothers, you idiot.” He elbowed me in the stomach. Hard. It hurt like a bitch. “God, I’m so fucking mad at you right now.”

“Sorry. I should have told you ages ago.”

Calvin sighed, seemingly more relieved than angry. “Oh thank Fuck. I thought you were going to quit the band or some shit like that.” He told me.

“Nope.” I leaned against the wall, the tension in my shoulders slowly dissipating. “You guys, I fucked up big time. I’ve let down the man I love. He probably hates my guts right now.”

“Who are you talking about? Did you fall for someone while you were in Raplen?”

“Yeah. Prince Danny.” I revealed.

“Whoa.” Theo wiped his tears and dragged me to the living room. Cassie and the guys followed us. “Sit down and tell us everything from the beginning.”

Calvin poured me a glass of wine before sitting down next to me. I told them everything, including my stupid outburst at the palace. They listened without interrupting. I was blown away by their supportive reaction. “Everything makes so much sense now,” Cassie remarked. “The two of you look adorable together. I hope Prince Danny forgives you.”

“Me too.” I sighed.

Theo punched me playfully in the gut. “I’m still mad at you by the way.” He told me. “I trust you with my life. Hell, I shared so many secrets with you. How could you not trust me in return?”

I reached out and wrapped my arm around his shoulder. “Don’t be silly. I do trust you.”

“Good, because I forgive you, you big oaf.” He grinned. “But only because your boyfriend’s a prince. You can probably get away with a ton of shit now. They might even allow you to smuggle drugs and alcohol out of Raplen.” He jokingly said.

“Haha. Very funny. I don’t want to get away with anything really. I just want to win Danny back. I messed up big time, Theo. He may not even want me anymore.”

“Nonsense. I think he digs you just as much as you dig him.”

“We’ll see.”