I’m having the most fantastic dream—I’m lying in Prince Leo’s arms when he pulls my body tightly to his, kissing me. His tongue slides against mine almost in time with the way his hands are moving over my body. He draws his fingers down my spine until one hand finds the back of my thigh, pulling my leg up to wrap around his waist so he can fully meld himself to me.

I smile to myself for a moment. I don’t normally have dreams like this—I suppose the combination of Leo’s surprise appearance with what he said to me tonight—and the exhaustion of travel and perhaps the wine at dinner—are giving me a very sweet dream.

It’s only a second before I realize this is no dream.

I’m holding my breath—almost praying I’m imagining this. That Leo is not doing what I think he’s doing. Not kissing me. Not touching me. That maybe I really am asleep and having a blissful dream where Leo is kissing me. Or that I hallucinated this entire night.

My eyes open as he slides his hand down to my still—thankfully—covered ass.

His other hand is fisted in my hair, and his mouth presses against mine. He barely lifts his head away from me so he can speak, and he’s still so close to me I can feel his lips move as the words fall from his mouth. “Please, Elle, let me show you again how much I love you.”

I gasp. “Leo…no.” Catching his hand by the wrist, I shove it away. I push against him, forcing myself back, trying to increase the distance between us until I tumble off the edge of the bed. Pain sears through my back as I land in the dark on something with a sharp edge.

I fumble around, unable to see anything, and I instinctively try to find something to use as a weapon. I finally find something—a book, I think—and I pick it up, ready to strike him if he tries to touch me again.

There isn’t even a moment for me to think before the lights come on and I see Matthias standing in front of me, his eyes wide and his mouth open in horror.

I drop the book I’m holding to straighten myself—my pajama shirt is pushed up a little too far—and I’m acutely aware that Matthias is getting an eyeful of my stomach, if not a little more.

Matthias averts his gaze, turning away from me slightly to afford me some semblance of privacy as I try to straighten my clothing.

I can hear Leo’s ragged breathing from the bed, but he says nothing.

I scramble to my feet, smoothing down the pajamas over my body. I’m still a little out of breath. I was clear with him about my expectations before we went to bed—I know I was. He agreed nothing would happen tonight. And I know he’s capable, even if it was going to be painful for him—for both of us—to be apart. But I had to prove my point to him. I had to.

Didn’t I?

There’s a table next to me—that must be what I hit on my fall out of bed. I glance between the two men—neither of them is making eye contact with me or with the other. Leo is sitting up now, staring down at the sheets where I had been lying only a moment earlier.

Matthias finally breaks the silence but doesn’t lift his gaze from the wall where he’s been staring since he turned away from me a moment ago. “May I offer any assistance to either of you?”

“Yes—”

I barely get the word from my lips before Leo interrupts. “No.”

Matthias glances over at me but doesn’t meet my gaze. “Doctor?”

“The nearest airport. You need to tell the pilot to find the nearest one.” My voice is cracking, barely above a whisper.

“Very well, Doctor. Though, we are midway over the Atlantic at the moment. It may be a few more hours before we can land. I will check with the pilot immediately, however, and inform you of the nearest location where we might land. And if you would prefer, you are welcome to utilize my quarters for the duration of the flight.”

My head bobs in agreement as tears fill my eyes. My voice is still broken, and I can barely manage a whisper. “I think that’s a really good idea. I just need to change back into my own clothes.”

He forces a smile, but still won’t make eye contract. “Of course, Doctor Parker.” He gives me another sidelong glance before he begins to walk back to the front of the plane. “The doors up front will be open should you need anything further in the meantime.”

I nod again and watch him disappear into the front of the plane.

Leo drops his head into his hands and stares at the spot on the bed where I had been lying next to him.

I silently walk to the closet and open the door, pulling out the bag that holds the clothes I was wearing when I got on the plane in Arizona. Before I decided to play dress-up. Before I stepped into what I knew was going to be a giant quagmire.

I don’t say a word—I grab the bag and walk to the bathroom, taking off the stupid silk pajamas and putting on my slacks and blouse, even though they’re wrinkled now after being crumpled into the bag.

I wait in the bathroom for several minutes—I’m not even sure for what, other than to let my heart rate slow a bit. I’m still completely disoriented—I have no idea what time it is or how this even happened. If maybe I had sent Leo some signal or if I had done something in my sleep to encourage him.

It’s possible…

Tears fill my eyes again when I think about how I’m blaming myself. I turn on the sink to splash cold water on my face. That is the old Elle talking. That is the Elle who let men walk all over her—who took the blame for every wrong that was ever done to her. This Elle is not doing that. This Elle is not going to make some excuse for Leo’s behavior. Because even if I had given Leo some sort of signal that I’d wanted him to kiss me, or touch me, or do anything else—I was asleep. He could have at least let me wake up before he tried anything—at least given me the chance to refuse.

You wouldn’t have refused, though…

No. New Elle is not going to give Leo the benefit of the doubt on this one. New Elle isn’t going to let a man tell me that he loves me so he can get in my pants—and in my head. And damn it, I knew that was what he was doing all along. That is what men do to me. That is the only time I’ve ever heard those words.

I splash some more water on my face, trying to hide the puffiness I can already see forming around my eyes before I walk back into the main part of the jet.

Leo hasn’t moved. His head is still in his hands. And his expression—he looks like he just watched someone die.

I turn away from him without a word, going back to the closet to throw in the pajamas I was wearing and I pull out my shoes, slipping them onto my feet. I grab my purse, too, before I sit down at the desk, waiting for Matthias to come back to tell me how much longer I’m going to be stuck on this plane with Leo.

We sit in silence for several minutes. I’m not even sure if he’s alive—I can’t hear his breathing anymore and he hasn’t made any attempt to even say a word.

And when he finally speaks, I swear it almost sounds like he’s crying. “Elle…”

I don’t turn around to face him. I don’t think I can look at him, even if I want to. “There’s nothing to say, Leo.”

“Oh, but there is. My behavior was…inexcusable.”

I don’t respond. Hopefully, he understands my silence is my agreement with his statement.

I stare at him for a moment. “You didn’t have to do any of this, you know. You didn’t have to make such a big production out of everything. We could have spent the day in Arizona and you never would have had to tell me you loved me. I would have let you fuck me all weekend without any of this idiotic show.”

He flinches like I’ve slapped him and I swear I see tears in his eyes.

But I can’t stop myself now. My body is burning with humiliation again—I feel almost as exposed as I did the day he left me naked on my bed.

I motion to the closet. “If this is only about sex, what the hell was with all the bullshit gowns? Is that some stupid fantasy of yours? You play fairy godmother and you get to fuck your little pumpkin again at midnight?”

He shakes his head slowly and his eyes are definitely glistening.

I ignore the knot I feel in my belly, seeing how my words are digging into him like knives. Hot tears well in my own eyes again. “You didn’t have to say you loved me. That was over the top, even for you, Your Highness. But I suppose then I wouldn’t have been quite as humiliated when you left me this time. Or when you did whatever you were planning to do to me in front of your family.” If that was even going to happen…

He presses his lips together, his head still turning slowly from side to side, almost like he can’t believe any of this is happening himself.

Part of me hates that I’m hurting him, but he’s shattered me. Again. Broken every little piece I’ve managed to glue back together in the past three months. A tear streaks down my cheek.

Matthias comes in during the ensuing silence, his gaze still turned to the floor. “The pilot informs me that Lisbon will be our best choice for landing—that it is closer than turning back for New York City—if you find that acceptable, Doctor.”

I swipe at the tears on my face with the back of my hands “Fine.” I barely glance at him.

“If you…” Matthias clears his throat. “If you would prefer to utilize my quarters, I’m sure His Highness would not mind.”

“I would very much mind.” Leo finally speaks again and his voice is a low growl. “The doctor and I are discussing the terms of her departure. You are welcome to leave the door open to your quarters, Matthias, should you feel the need to monitor the situation.”

The man bows slightly, nodding. “As you wish, Your Highness.” He backs out of the room, still bent over in deference to Leo.

The room goes silent again for several minutes. I try to regain control of my emotions—to blink back the tears and try to remember the things I’ve been working on in therapy for the past three months. Though at the moment, I can’t even remember the name of my therapist, let alone any of the things we’ve talked about during our twice-weekly calls.

Leo’s voice is low and his words are slow and careful when he finally speaks to me again. “You touched me in your sleep, Elle. You…you touched me. I thought you were awake. I know it’s no excuse, and I understand if you really do want to get off the plane in Lisbon. But I honestly thought you had awakened—that you were kissing me back. That you were a willing participant…” His voice trails off and he drops his head again, his hand clapping against his forehead. “I’m so sorry, Elle. You need to understand that I would never…”

He closes his eyes, not finishing his sentence. He just sits there, bent over with his hand resting on his forehead.

I watch him for a few minutes, but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t offer anything else.

My stomach twists with guilt again, seeing him like this. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I made too much of this, though I really don’t think so, especially considering my past experiences.

I draw in a deep breath. Maybe it’s time to tell him—maybe it will help him at least see where I’m coming from. And it might be nice to have someone who knows the truth—someone besides Owen, anyway.

“Leo…” My voice cracks and my heart begins racing in my chest again. “I’m sorry—”

He sits up straight, shaking his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, Elle. I refuse to accept any apology. This is completely my doing and I’ll not have you taking any blame whatsoever—”

I hold up my hand to stop him. “Let me finish. Please. You need to understand.” My eyes dart around the room and I’m trying to think of a way to say what needs saying without it coming out the way I’m almost sure it will.

My gaze meets his again and he holds me in it for another moment. “Leo, I think I may have mentioned my last relationship—”

He nods, interrupting. “Elle, you don’t need to tell me the details. Between what you’ve already said and what my investigators uncovered—”

“Yes—I’m sure you already know the gory details of everything, Leo. But you need to let me finish.”

He holds up his hands, nodding. “I’m sorry. Please—say whatever you need to say, Elle. I can take it. Whatever insults you need to throw at me—I deserve those and more.”

I shake my head. “I’m not going to insult you. Not right now.” I have to draw in another breath. “It was a messy breakup. There was a wife I didn’t know about and a big scene—”

“Elle…” He tilts his head and gives me the smallest of smiles. “I already know this. It makes no difference to me.”

“I got fired from my job because of it, Leo. I know you already know that—I’m trying to tell you what happened after that. Why I went to Rio de Campo—”

“Because you couldn’t obtain a job after the incident that happened. It’s perfectly understandable, Elle. In fact, I could share a few stories with you about scenes with my own former lovers. There was one night when I was in a club in Milan—”

“Leo!” I let out a short breath in exasperation. “Let me finish.”

He snaps his mouth closed and looks over at me with a frown. “I apologize. Please continue.”

“Thank you.” My brow furrows and I have to draw in another long breath. I’m not sure I can tell this story after all—it isn’t mine to tell. Not exactly. But I’ve held it in long enough—and for all I know, I really am jumping him unknowingly in my sleep and I don’t want to wake up ever again thinking that he’s violating me somehow—especially if I really am the one to blame. If he knows my history, maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll back off a little, at least for now.

“This is hard, Leo.” I frown again.

“Take all the time you need.”

I nod, pausing for another long moment. “Owen thought I would feel better if he fixed me up with someone. I mean, I don’t know what I was thinking, agreeing to that. I dated one of his buddies for a few weeks when I was in medical school. And Owen’s friends…”

He nods. “I know. I’ve seen.”

“Yeah.” I nod, too. “But he thought if I had a little fun—if I went out to dinner with someone. Took a surfing lesson or something… I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. He was a guy Owen had been hanging around with for a few months. I hadn’t even met him before. It was just supposed to be a surfing lesson and dinner. Just fun…” My voice hitches in my throat a little.

He frowns. “Elle…”

I shake my head—try to shake off the feelings of humiliation that still come up when I think about it. “I don’t remember much of it, Leo. I thought we had fun when we were at the beach. I had a few glasses of wine with dinner and that’s the last thing I remember before I woke up naked in my bed the next day.”

His jaw tightens. “He drugged you.”

“I think so. I was too embarrassed to go to the emergency room to be tested for drugs in my system, considering what had happened at the hospital the week before. And I didn’t want to go out—I could barely drag myself out of bed.” I close my eyes for a moment before returning my gaze to his. “And Owen didn’t take it well, either.”

He lifts a brow but says nothing.

“There was an accident. Owen never said what happened, but the guy he fixed me up with… There was a surfing accident. And I’m not sure if you know anything about surfing, Leo, but those kinds of things don’t happen.”

My breaths are coming a little too fast—I can’t believe I’m actually telling him this. “I found the job at your family’s clinic in Rio de Campo and they hired me on the spot. I don’t know for sure what Owen did, but I owed it to him to get him out of there. Whatever he did, he did for me. And I can’t believe I’m telling you this after what just happened. But…I think you needed to know. To understand why…why I might be a little more…delicate about…about things like obvious consent than some other girls you might have been with. And…and I’m sorry if I overreacted.”

He shakes his head slowly. “I’ve already told you, Elle, there is no need for you to apologize for anything. If anyone should be apologizing, it is I—”

“My head is fucked up, Leo. I’m not ever going to be right. Ever.”

He only stares at me, not saying anything.

“The best thing for me—for both of us—is for me to get off the plane in Lisbon. I’ll go back to the States—I’ll go to my interview in Oklahoma on Tuesday—and we can pretend none of this ever happened.”

He’s silent for another moment, but his gaze never leaves mine. He finally lets out a long breath. “But that isn’t what I want, Elle. I…I still would like you to accompany me to Montovia to meet my family.”

“I’m pretty sure my brother killed someone, Leo. Even if your family can get past my negative influence on you, I don’t think they’ll be able to get past that.”

He’s silent for a moment. “I told you I’d hired the best investigators money could buy, Elle. There was no mention of anything untoward in your brother’s history. There is no reason for this information to be shared with anyone else. You’ve only shared it with me—”

“And Matthias.” I lift a brow.

He tilts his head. “I trust Matthias with my life on a daily basis, Elle. You have nothing to fear from him, I promise you.” He edges himself to the end of the bed, directly across from me. He looks into my eyes again. “What I said to you tonight—I meant. I still mean it. I love you, Elle. I can’t explain what’s going on any better than that. Bringing you home to meet my family has everything to do with my wish to show them how I feel about you. And there is very little you can do or say that will change that.”

I search his eyes for a moment. “I’m broken, Leo.”

He shakes his head. “You are nothing of the sort, Elle.”

“You don’t understand—”

“But I do. I understand that I love you. And that is really all that I need to know.”

I can only shake my head, trying to force back the tears that are stinging at my eyes again.

I’m not this girl. I’m not a woman who cries over feelings. And I’m not sure what’s happening here at all. I’m not sure how Leo can say the things he’s saying—especially after all the horrible things I’ve just said to him.

“If you want to land in Lisbon, I’ll fly you home first class on the first flight back. You’ll never have to see me again.”

“That isn’t true, though, Leo. I’ll see you every day. I’ll see you every time I close my eyes. I’ll see you every time I fall asleep. And that’s not even counting every time I’ll walk into a patient’s room and see someone reading a magazine with you staring at me from the cover. I’m never going to be able to not see you again.”

He shrugs. “Then I’ll stop going to Los Angeles. I’ll stop going to London. I’ll stop going anywhere there’s a single photographer around. If it will ease your mind, I’ll stay in the palace for the rest of my life. I can’t imagine I’ll ever want to go out into the world again, anyway, if you make the choice never to see me again.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“I’m only speaking the truth, Elle. And I’ve already told you I can’t imagine my life without you. That hasn’t changed at all, and it won’t, no matter what you tell me.” He gazes into my eyes, and I can’t read exactly what’s behind them. “Come with me to Montovia. I know I’ve already begged you. I know I don’t deserve it. I just…I don’t want to return there without you.”

My heart races a little too much at his words—his stupid charming eloquence that melts me every time he opens his mouth. I should be a lot angrier than I seem to be. But maybe it really was a misunderstanding. Maybe I was touching him in my sleep—that actually wouldn’t surprise me at all. And I can’t deny my attraction to him. My feelings for him. I’ve never been able to deny any of it when I’m honest with myself. And I really, really want to be honest with myself right now.

I just hope he’s being honest with me—that there isn’t some ulterior motive for bringing me back to Montovia. I don’t know what his motivation is, but there’s definitely something more going on than he’s telling me.

I gaze into his eyes for another long moment, almost hoping he’ll tell me something to help me know he’s not hiding anything.

But he doesn’t say another word.

I finally concede even though it’s definitely against my better judgment. “I wish I knew why I’m agreeing to this.”

The tiniest smile forms on his lips. “I promise you won’t regret it, Elle.”

* * *