It’s hard for me to comprehend how much my life has changed in the past couple of days.

Last week, I was planning for a life with Elle. Finally coming to understand what I was willing to sacrifice for her. Allowing myself to think of how we might build a future together. God, I was even considering taking a proper job for her.

Now she’s gone. When I lie awake at night, I can think of nothing but the scent of her, the taste of her, the feel of her beneath my hands. It’s so vivid that sometimes in my exhaustion I swear she’s right next to me—but then I move and realize once again that I’m alone in my bed. That the pillow beside me is cold.

And now I have a role to play. I’m not sure which enticed me to go along with Karina—my fear that Elle would think less of me for abandoning a child, or this sense of conscience that didn’t seem to exist before I knew her. Either way, I have little choice—Karina needs my help, and I can help her as no one else can. For now, I’ve agreed to stay at the Centennial in London until the story breaks. Karina says her interview should hit the newsstands tomorrow.

Ten million dollars. Who knew that was the going rate for an exclusive interview about an unplanned pregnancy with an infamous prince?

I sigh and go to the window of my penthouse suite, looking out onto the street below. It’s a gray, drizzly day, and in the distance I can see the fog rising off the Thames. I was willing to offer her money myself until I heard how much that tabloid was giving her for exclusive rights to the story. She’s right—this is the fastest way for her to earn money. I just wish I hadn’t been dragged into this mess.

It can’t be anyone else, Karina told me. No one pays millions of dollars for a story about me having a baby with anyone less than a prince. And the whole world already knows we were an item, if only for a little while.

She’s right. I’m not ignorant to the influence my name bears in the press. I just wish I’d had more say in the matter—she was clear that she had no intention of retracting her story, even if I refused to be there for her.

Go ahead, tell the whole world it isn’t yours, she said. In fact, you have my blessing. The scandal will only make people hungrier for more. I’ll have them throwing money at me.

I rub my eyes. I have no say in the matter. The magazine has already paid her—ten million bloody dollars—and no bribes or threats of lawsuits will keep them from publishing what is certain to be the story of the year. So I have a choice—to be the man who publicly abandons her or to be the man who publicly stands by her side. For Elle’s sake, I’m choosing the latter.

For Karina’s sake, too, I suppose. When she finally broke down and told me the truth, the exhaustion and desperation was plain on her face. She’s in a corner and has no other options—I certainly can’t give her the money she needs. And the fact that she’s not even doing this for herself, but for her father—sorry excuse for a man that he apparently is—makes it near impossible for me to even be truly angry with her. What would I do in a similar situation, if the vices of a family member had led my family into such extreme debt? I can’t say I wouldn’t do something just as desperate. Perhaps Karina and I only spent a week together—there’s certainly no love between us—but she’s still a human being who needs my help.

Damn conscience.

I pull my mobile out of my pocket and pull up Elle’s number. Seeing Elle is out of the question, at least until my agreement with Karina is up—I don’t want Elle dragged into this, and when this story breaks, they’ll be watching my every move. But if I call her, perhaps I can tell her everything before the story becomes public. I can explain that the baby most definitely isn’t mine, that I just need to help Karina…

My thumb hovers over the call button, but I can’t bring myself to press it.

If she didn’t believe me before that the baby isn’t mine, why should she believe me now? I think. Especially when I’m about to spend the next few months publicly accepting that I’m the father? I asked Elle to stay with me, to wait by my side until it could be proved that I didn’t father Karina’s child. But she refused. Matthias is right—she’s already been through so much hardship, and things are about to get even more complicated. How can I ask her to be by my side through the next few months?

I shove my mobile back into my pocket. The moment my arrangement with Karina is up, nothing is going to stop me from going to Elle. Nothing. If I have to lay the whole world down at her feet to get her to speak to me again, I’ll do it.

In the meantime, though, I have to get through the next several months. Play the role I need to play and try not to make this situation worse for anyone involved.

And pray that Elle will somehow understand.