I stood in the small kitchen garden of Morvyn Manor, breathing in the slightly damp air and with it all the clarity I needed. Coming here had not only put physical distance between me and Will but mental distance too. I was still thinking about him, of course. But up here, away from the big city and scrutiny, I felt like I was able to get a better grasp on my jumbled up, confused thoughts. I was surrounded by all the space I could ever need to make a start on getting my life back on track and in order.

There was a distinct coldness in the air, fresh and jolting, and I was glad I’d brought some of my warmer clothes with me. I was dressed down today in a pair of trousers that would pass as smart if needed, and several layers up top including a cosy sweater. Faux riding boots completed my outfit and protected my trousers from the soft wet ground. I mostly kept to the gravelled paths, but sometimes I’d find a need to wander across the grass, exploring the colourful boundaries of the gardens.

It had rained practically non-stop since I’d arrived two days ago, and I’d taken every chance I got to leave the manor when there was a break in the clouds. Morvyn Manor was much smaller, comparatively speaking, than most of the residences owned by the royal family. Just a ten room home situated on acres of rolling green hills, with the loch twinkling in the distance. My time indoors was a little unnerving. And though there wasn't many rooms, each of them was vast and I felt a bit spooked at being the only person in there.

But I’d kept myself occupied—best thing for mending a broken heart, I thought—and made everything spic and span, restocked the pantry and made sure fresh linens were on hand for the Marchioness of Haven’s arrival. The work wasn’t exactly what I was used to, I was more comfortable arranging calendars, organising schedules and vast amounts of correspondence but there was something to be said for getting your hands dirty.

In the evenings I spent my time in the comfortable library that was crammed full of leather bound books and soft worn chairs, or in one of the parlours in front of an ancient telly attempting not to dwell on the thoughts I’d kept at bay during the day. But it was like my worries knew I was at my most vulnerable when the sun set and my work was done, and I’d replay all my moments with William all over again, my heart cracking apart like brittle concrete each time.

Turning back to look at the manor, I contemplated what was next for me as I walked along the path, gravel crunching loudly under my boots. What would I do after my two weeks notice was up? I had some savings squirrelled away to keep the wolf at bay for a few months so I didn’t have to go looking for a new job as soon as my two weeks were up. But eventually I would have to put myself out there, before the gap between jobs became too noticeable. Explaining that to a prospective employer wasn’t appealing. Yet I knew I had to give myself time; perhaps I’d even stay with my mum for a while, I thought.

It would be good to see her properly, unlike the fleeting visits that had come before. But then I imagined her reaction and what her face would look like if I told her why I was there. I hadn’t even told her about my resignation yet, not wanting to hear the disappointment in her voice. I owed her everything and felt like an utter failure that I couldn’t keep my professional and personal feelings separate. She’d obviously managed it in all her years in service, so why couldn’t I?

But I knew why. Will wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met; he was special. And ignoring him and the way he made me feel had been impossible.

I winded my way past empty trellises and bare soil towards the kitchen garden gate that was set into a low stonewall on the side of the house. Luckily there was no latch on it so there was no chance of me locking myself in and starving to death before anyone found me. I still had four days before the marchioness would make an appearance so no one would be coming to my rescue if anything should happen.

And yet the distinct sound of a car rumbling up the long drive caught my attention and I rounded the house, wondering if I’d somehow lost track of the days or gotten the date wrong for her arrival. Surely not. Love hadn’t obliterated my brains cells quite yet.

A gleaming town car advanced like a dark omen and I clutched myself, scared of what it might mean. There was one lone person up front in the car but I couldn’t make out who. If it was the marchioness she would be tucked away in the back, she wouldn’t be driving herself. The car stopped and I tried to peer inside, but could only see the faint outline of the driver. Tall build and a set of strong shoulders. My stomach flipped over and I stumbled back. No. It couldn’t be him.

I was readying myself for the confrontation with William that would no doubt ensue, but then a voice called from a lowering window in the back. “Cooee! It’s just me. Thought you might like some company, out here all alone.”