Ryder
“Goddamnit, Sully. What were you thinking?” I paced back and forth. “This is why I keep my shit private,” I gritted, flashing everyone a pissed-off look even though I knew none of them deserved it. This was all on me.
“You better watch how you’re talkin’ to my wife,” Marek growled, appearing out of nowhere. “It’s not her fault you didn’t tell Braylen about your kid.”
Not acknowledging him or his truthful spewing, I hauled off toward the back of the club, knowing damn well I was the last person Braylen wanted to see. I had to deal with the issue before it escalated. Part of me wanted to leave it alone and get drunk, but the other part, the one that had developed feelings for the feisty woman, wanted to apologize and see if I could make things right between us. We’d been at odds for weeks, and I wanted the stress to stop. I had enough on my mind with the threat against the club; I needed to check her forgiveness off the ever-growing list.
Without knocking, I flung open the door to my assigned room and found her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, the bag she’d packed resting on her lap.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I hadn’t meant to sound so gruff, but there was no way in hell she was leaving. Not until we’d eliminated the threat, which could take days.
“I’m not staying here.”
“You’re not leaving.”
She raised her head and glared at me. Clutching her bag tightly, she said, “You can’t keep me here against my will. That’s called kidnapping, Ryder. Look it up.”
“Well, then I’ll kidnap you if I have to. You’re not going anywhere.” She parted her lips to respond, but I took a step closer and cut her off. “I know you’re aware of the threat against us, and unfortunately that threat extends to you and your sister.” Underhanded move, but I had to use it. Her breath hitched. “So until we can take care of it, no one is allowed to leave.”
“You can leave.” It wasn’t a question.
“I have to help keep us safe, so yeah, I do get to leave.”
“That’s not fair,” she mumbled, fidgeting with her bag again before standing and walking across the room, farther away from me. I didn’t know if she thought by releasing the bag she was surrendering to her fate for the next few days, but she refused to let it go. “I want to be alone. You need to leave.”
“No.” I braced myself for impact. She’d been through a lot; surely all of her fear, anger, and uncertainty was gonna come bursting from her in the next few seconds.
“No?” she yelled, her mouth agape in astonishment. I wasn’t goin’ anywhere, not until I convinced her she was safe with us at the club. Not until I gained her forgiveness for not telling her about my daughter. Not until . . . fuck! I didn’t know what else I wanted from Braylen, but it sure as hell wasn’t for her to be standing so far away from me, looking at me like she didn’t know who the fuck I was. Admittedly, I had a lot of demons, personal and shared with the other men of the Knights, but I was just me. A man fumbling through life trying to find some goddamn meaning.
Braylen was the sliver of light in an otherwise dark and lonely world. I’d always had an inferno burning inside me my entire life, and the woman standing in front of me was the first person to ever calm me. I couldn’t explain it—I just knew she was it for me. I just had to convince her that I wanted her once and for all.
No more mixed signals.
No more thoughtless words.
No more secrets.
“Braylen,” I said softly, relaxing my tensed muscles before erasing some of the distance between us. “I need you to listen to me.”
“Listen to you? Why? Because you wanna lie some more?” Before I saw it coming, she launched her bag at me, hitting me in the chest and knocking me back a step. “Oh, sorry,” she spat sarcastically. “Not lie. Just omit everything!” Her voice rose a few octaves. If I didn’t calm her down, and fast, I knew our business was gonna be made public for the entire club to hear.
“Calm down.”
“No, I won’t calm down. You won’t share any of yourself with me. You refused to tell me why you attacked me in your sleep, and then you kept something as huge as having a child from me.” She backed up a step. “Do you know how that makes me feel? I know I may appear strong and brave, but I’m hurt.” Her bottom lip quivered, and it almost gutted me. “You hurt me,” she said softly. “You’ve basically told me that I mean nothing to you. That I’m just someone to pass the time with when you’re bored. Someone to have sex with when you’re horny.” A lone tear fell and she wiped it away with an irritated swipe of her finger.
“You know that’s not true.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.” I took a tentative step closer.
“Don’t” was all she said before lowering her head, breaking eye contact with me and essentially giving up.
“Braylen.”
Nothing. Not a single muscle moved in her body. I swore she held her breath as well.
“Braylen,” I said with more authority, hoping she’d hear something in my tone that would make her look at me.
Still nothing.
“Goddamnit, Braylen! Fuckin’ look at me.” Apparently when I shouted it worked.
She finally picked her head up, her stare cutting into me like a thousand knives. More tears streaked her cheeks, and I couldn’t stop myself. I rushed forward and pulled her into me before she could stop me, wrapping my arms around her so tightly I feared I’d bruise her ribs.
“Just let me go,” she cried, feebly trying to push me away, but I refused.
“I can’t.” She trembled in my arms. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” I promised, kissing the top of her head, continuing to crush her distraught body to mine. “No more secrets.”
It was in that moment that I fully let go, relieved I could finally share myself completely with someone. A ton of bricks dropped from me as I felt her nod against my chest.
Here goes nothin’.