Ryder
“Watch her,” I instructed Tripp, referring to Kena, and seized Braylen’s wrist, pulling her behind me toward the Exit sign. At first she didn’t fight because I’d caught her off guard, but as we entered the night air, she tried to pull her hand from mine.
“Let go,” she shouted, yanking her arm back a few times before I finally released her. “What is wrong with you? You can’t just manhandle me whenever you want to.”
Ignoring her question, I fired off one of my own. “Why didn’t you respond to any of my texts or take any of my damn calls? You can’t still be that pissed at me for the other night.” As soon as I asked the question, I knew my fuckup. What I referred to was when I balked at her before disappearing into the bathroom, not the memory of pinning her to the bed beneath me.
“Are you kidding me?” she yelled, taking a step backward. I reached for her but she shook her head. “I wake up to you lying on top of me, bruising my arms because you were holding me down while you were dreaming. You had no idea I was even there until I shouted your name.”
“And kicked me,” I reminded her. A half smirk found its way onto my lips.
Not the right time.
“It’s not funny, Ryder. You could’ve choked me to death.”
“My hands weren’t near your neck,” I rebuked.
“But they could’ve been. What happens next time when you decide to wrap your hands around my throat?”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“You had no idea what you were doing the other night, so how can you be so sure?”
“Because I would never hurt you.” Scratching at the hairs covering my jawline, I did my best to convince her I believed the ridiculous words spewing from my mouth.
“Not intentionally,” she whispered, the breeze stealing her words and swirling them around me like a tornado. Braylen put another foot of space between us.
“Stop moving away from me like you’re scared of me, Bray. I don’t like that shit.” My head ached, all muscles in my body suddenly becoming too sensitive to the anxiety coursing through me. I hated the look of doubt shadowing her eyes, as if she wanted to come to me yet refused to move because she wasn’t sure she should.
Hell, I didn’t know if she should either.
I’d battled with the fear that I could’ve hurt her that night. I could’ve snuffed out her life, all the while having no fuckin’ clue I’d even done it. Not until I woke up. Then what would I have done? How would I ever explain something like that to the club? To her family?
Dangerous.
The only word to describe what I was when it came to Braylen sleeping next to me, innocent and unknowing.
Silence drifted between us because neither of us knew what to say at that point. I hated the physical space separating us but I understood it, although I’d never let on.
Don’t show any vulnerability. It was my motto since I was a kid, and in that moment it was being put to the motherfuckin’ test.
As her lips parted to finally speak, a rousing burst of noise erupted behind us. A large crowd of people emerged, halting any thoughts that I’d get any further with Braylen right then.
“Come back to my place,” I said, clenching my hands at my sides in preparation for her refusal.
“No.” Blunt and to the point.
“Why?”
“Because there’s something going on with you, and until you can tell me what it is, I can’t help you.” She bit her lower lip, averting her eyes to behind me every few seconds, no doubt waiting for her sister to join us.
“It was one night. One incident. Let it go,” I rasped, pissed that I had to defend my fucked-up dream once again. I didn’t want to delve back into my past, and that was exactly what would happen if I entertained telling her.
“It wasn’t just one night.” Her voice rose over the shouts of the people milling around us. “You’ve been acting weird for at least two months.”
Dammit! That was about how long it’d been since the nightmares had returned.
Again, I refused to acknowledge what she said as anything but crazy talk. Before my brain could formulate a response, however, the back door to the building flung open. Tripp, Jagger, and Kena appeared, laughing and looking like everything was peachy fuckin’ keen.
Well it wasn’t.
Not for me, and apparently not for Braylen either.
One look from her sister and Kena rushed to her side, pulling her farther away from me and signing frantically, glancing back at me a couple times. Realizing I’d lost the battle, I gave up trying to convince Braylen to come home with me and joined my buddies.
“What’s up with those two?” Tripp asked, slapping me on the back before removing his phone from his cut. Putting the device to his ear, he gave me a sideways glance while waiting for whoever he’d called to answer.
“Who the fuck knows,” I grumbled. I had no desire to talk about it right there in the middle of the goddamn street. Jagger walked toward the women, watching the back and forth between the two of them before turning his head to look at me. He smirked, no doubt lovin’ that I was the one in hot water. I hated that he could understand everything they were signing while I stood there like a dumbass, completely ignorant.
Finally, Jagger walked back toward me, grinning and shaking his head.
“Fuck off.”
“Hey, I’m not the one givin’ you shit.” Jagger chuckled, slinging his black bag over his shoulder.
“What was she sayin’?” I didn’t want to ask, but the need to know gnawed at my insides like some kind of insect.
“That she really wishes you would open up and let her in. That she’s really concerned about your emotional sanity and wants to be there for you, to help you through whatever drama has you trapped in such a state that you shut down and lash out whenever something happens.”
At first, I thought Jagger was telling me the truth, that she’d really said all that stuff, until he burst out laughing.
“What the fuck?” I growled, flashing him my most menacing look, but apparently I was losing my touch, or Jagger knew me well enough to not be afraid of me.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist, man.”
“What. Did. She. Fuckin’. Say?”
“She said you’re actin’ like an ass, and that if you don’t start talkin’ soon, you can forget about her . . . or somethin’ like that.” Jagger walked away before I could ask him to repeat what he’d said, laughing at my misfortune of having to deal with Braylen’s stubborn ass.
I knew Jagger was heading back to their place, so I straddled my bike, turned over the engine and took off down the street, not once looking at Braylen as I passed. I couldn’t. Otherwise, I’d toss her over my ride and kidnap her, kicking and screaming.
And something told me that wouldn’t go over too well.