Sherry
Where did the rest of my day go? Oh, that’s right—I was stuck inside a room with twenty other bodies focusing on finishing my exam. Or, should I say the exam and my life with Greyson. When the last question was answered and the swirling box went round and round on the screen, I literally cried when the box revealed my score. I was so out of my mind the last half, that I knew I was going to fail. My mind wasn’t focused on the questions before me. No, each one felt like I was answering a question about my life. It was as if the computer knew my deepest, darkest fears. Laughing it’s way through each answer until the end.
I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the computer, waiting for it to change its mind. The big numbers glaring back at me with a ninety-three felt outstanding, scary, weird, and a relief. Instead of calling Greyson or Ava, I hop in my Jeep and head straight for his office. It’s past office hours, but if I know him he’s there doing charts. This is something that isn’t text alert news; no, this is face to face. I’m about to turn my blinker on to turn into the parking lot when I notice his tall body getting into his car. I also notice right away that he’s in his scrubs, no longer wearing the jeans and button-up that he was wearing this afternoon. His attire means one thing and one thing only as he speeds out of the lot like a racecar. There’s a baby who needs his attention. Instead of turning in, I continue down the street making my way home. It’s not until I park that I notice he texted me.
Greyson: Haven’t heard from you, and I hope that means good news. Sorry, I have to cancel tonight; we have four babies on the way. Call me or let me know what happened.
I wait until I make it upstairs before I decide to text him back. A part of me wants to play with him a little. Especially since we made the rule that we wouldn’t have sex until I passed my test. Yep, that’s what I’m going to do.
Me: Good luck with the babies. Just got home and plan to go to bed, wasn’t the best of days. TTYL
Technically, I didn’t lie to Greyson. It was a rough day. Between testing and my mind trying to figure out if I love him or not. It’s had me in a turmoil. I change into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, making my way back out to the living room. Plopping down, I hike my legs up onto the coffee table, sinking my body down into the leather. Right as my hand darts out to grab the remote, a knock comes from the door. Confused to who would be stopping by, I move my tired body over to peek out the peephole.
Opening it wide, I say, “Lucy, what are you doing here and what do you have?”
“I have a present for you. You going to let me in?”
“Oh, of course, come on. How are you?” I ask as I watch her toss the carrier around that she’s holding. It’s light, and not the same one I gave her awhile back. Confused, I keep my eyes on the plastic container and wait for her to explain what she’s doing here. Wait—don’t get me wrong—
I love that she’s stopped by, but this is the second time she’s been here. The only other time was when I handed over my fur babies.
“I’ve been great, dear, and I have to say I like that young doctor friend of yours. He’s something special.”
“What? How do you know Greyson?”
“Remember, I met him in the lobby and he’s why I’m here.” She says this as if I should already know the reason for her visit tonight. I move along with Lucy as she heads right over to the dining room table and plops the carrier down.
She stops and turns toward me, offering up her wide smile like she does. “Come here, dear. I have a special delivery for you.”
I do as she instructs, peeking down to see what’s inside. My chest grows heavy, because I can’t accept the animal that’s hiding inside. Since I handed over Mr. Tinkerbell and Miss Peter Pan, I’ve been able to rejoin the land of the living, no longer sacking out at any given time. I know her heart means well, but I’m still going to have to break it.
Everything happens in slow motion. The opening of the latch, the door swinging open, no wild cat jumping from the deep dark depths of a cage. Lucy reaches in, her arm half disappearing. There’s no echoes of a hiss, no growl—nothing but silence. I shift my body in a way to see around her arm that’s sliding back out. My face scrunches with confusion. “What is that, and why are you giving this to me?”
“This is what some people, dear, call a stuffed animal. I found one in the back that looked as close to Tinkerbell as possible. Your man friend called and said you needed a new cuddle buddy—his words, not mine. Here, this is your new cat.”
I can’t control the laughter that emits from my lungs. How in the world did he think of this, and how did he get Lucy to agree to this? She never does these cute little things like this.
“I told you I liked him, which is the only reason I’m here.” She says this as if she’s just read my mind.
“Thank you, and what a perfect gift,” I say with a smile as I snuggle the stuffed animal close.
“It is a perfect gift for you. Let’s sit for a few minutes, let an old lady rest her feet,” Lucy says as she moves closer to the sofa.
“How’s everyone at the shelter? I hope they understand why I haven’t been by to say hello.”
“They’re fine, Sherry, and we all understand. Trust me, we’ve been waiting for you to wake up and know that, that place was slowly killing you.”
“It wasn’t, and I miss everyone.” I shrug it off as I don’t know what to say. I’m still confused to why she’s here and why Greyson sent me a stuffed cat.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“What? Who? It’s only a stuffed animal, Lucy.”
“Not that, crazy; your doctor, what’s his name again?”
“Greyson… and no, I don’t love him.”
“You can lie to yourself all day long, but you can’t lie to me. I see it in your face, in the way you shift your body every time I say his name. You might not realize it now, but you will soon enough. Now, tell me about your test?”
“How did you know?”
“He told me. He also said that since he couldn’t be here to put a smile on your face, he wanted you to have something that would make you smile every night that he couldn’t be here with you.”
“Oh,” is all I can come up with to say. I mean, what do you respond with after that kind of statement?
“Told you, you love him as he does you. Make sure I get a wedding invitation. I mean, I am the reason for that smile tonight,” Lucy says as she stands.
“Leaving already, I thought those feet needed to rest.”
“They did, and it’s time for this old lady to get home. She’s tired and has her own things to cuddle.”
I laugh at her statement, knowing that she means Tinkerbell and Peter Pan. It still warms my heart that they are in such good care. I knew it would all work out when I called Lucy that night and asked for her to care for my sweet babies. Not to mention, I’ve never breathed better.
“Thank you for bringing this by, and I’ll keep you posted,” I say as I give her a quick hug goodbye.
Hugging the stuffed animal that looks just like my old tabby Tinkerbell, I search for my phone and send Greyson a text.
Me: Thank you for my cat… Hope things are okay, and that all those babies are smiling up at you. Talk soon.
I still haven’t told him that I’ve passed my test. It’s something I rather tell him in person. I want to see the way he looks at me when those words slip from my mouth. To see the way his eyes will glide up and down the length of my body in the way that his do already. I sent Ava a message before I got home, letting her know that I passed and now have to do the waiting game for the real results. It sucks that I can’t do anything until then. As much as I want to curl up with my computer and start searching out new jobs, I plan to wait it out a little longer. It’s been this long, so what’s another four to six weeks? Nothing, in this case. I wonder how long I can play it off with Greyson. How long will he hold out until the rules have been tossed aside? Never mind, I can’t wait because as of now we both officially have blue balls. No, I take that back. After the whole vision of that baby jumping from the glove box this afternoon, my lady balls have gone into hibernation. We might need to put out a search party, do a reward or something for their safe return.
My body is slowing down. The build up with the stress from today has finally hit, causing me to feel not just overwhelmed but sleepy. Making sure that everything is locked up, I pad down the hallway to my bedroom with my new favorite animal in my hold. I slide the covers back and slink down into my bed, rolling over and dragging the new Tinkerbell to my chest. As my eyes slowly close, I can’t help the smile that’s displayed on my face. My heart and my brain are finally working together.
Rolling over, I keep hearing a knocking sound. Sitting up in bed, I listen to see if I can hear it again. Not sure if I’m dreaming, or if it’s Ava coming home, I don’t hear it again and toss myself back down to rejoin my deep sleep. Just as my eyes slide shut, my phone rings from my nightstand. Squinting my eyes, I notice it’s Greyson calling. With my heart racing, I answer. “Hello, are you okay?”
“Easy tiger, come open the door and let me in,” he says, and I can’t help the excitement that I feel from the sound of his voice. It’s deep, husky, and demanding. Slinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I take a quick look at the clock showcasing in bright red numbers: two o’clock in the morning. I can’t help but wonder if he’s been at the hospital this long and just now getting home.
Unlocking the door, I open it and smile when my eyes land on the guy before me. The sight of him answers my question. He’s been home long enough to shower and change. Droplets of water are still sliding from his hair, as if he dressed in a hurry and forgot to dry himself off. Stepping over the threshold, Greyson snakes his arm around my waist, giving me a sideways smirk before landing his lips onto mine. He pulls back, and says, “I missed you this evening.”
“Oh really, I couldn’t tell,” I respond as I look up into his face. It’s no longer a what if on my love factor for this man; it’s come down to what if he doesn’t love me back.
“Is this a social call, or an evening night cap?” I ask with a wink.
“I think we need to break some rules. I can’t wait for you to tell me if you passed or failed. I need to taste you... I need to know what all of you feels like underneath me.”
“I’m not really a rule breaker, but I’ll tell you a secret; I’ll make an exception for you and break them all.”
“That’s all I needed to hear,” he says, placing his mouth onto mine. My body moves backward, down the hall. Greyson stops us halfway as my body lands against the wall. He lifts me, just enough that causes my legs to wrap around his waist. My fingers lace through his hair, pulling him closer to me as our mouths are now one. A hand comes up and lands on my breast, kneading it as it has over the past few days. Before I can think, I slide my hands down to the rim of my tank top and rip it up and over my head, tossing it down to the floor. Greyson leans back, taking in the view of my chest—bare and an open invitation for him to continue. Over the last few days in our heavy make out sessions, we’ve refrained from removing clothes. Each of us knowing that would send us over a line that neither would be able to refrain from. The beats of my heart are timed perfectly with his movements. It’s as if we’ve become an instrument in an orchestra, but in reality, he’s the conductor leading me to the final show.
With my legs still wrapped around his waist, he carries me to my room and lays me down on the once before empty bed. Greyson leans up, but never loses eye contact as he wipes my hair from my face.
Softy he speaks, “Sherry, I don’t know what scared you today, but I feel it too. I can’t walk away from you, and I’m not going to let you either. What I feel for you is real, and it might be quick and crazy… I want to spend my nights breaking all of our rules—rules that aren’t even made, ones that don’t need an explanation in why they’re stupid.”
“You scare me, Greyson, but at the same time you brought a piece of life back into my world. That’s what scares me. The fact that I could hand you my heart and go on this crazy adventure with you; what if one day you wake up and take that light back from me?”
“I promise to never take that away. Even if what we think we have ends, you will never lose that again,” he says, leaning down closer to my face. With one simple move, he takes all my fears away. He makes me forget the reason I made rules in the first place. The reason I said I’d never fall in love again after having my heart ripped from my chest. Right there, right now, I hand over not only my body to Greyson, but my heart and soul. The hell with rules… They’re only written to protect what you think needs to be protected. In life, each one of us has some form of rules we make to keep our fears at bay. To make sure it’s a way to move through life unscathed, to only hope we come out on the other side still intact. Tonight, feeling Greyson love my body as it’s meant to be loved, I can’t hide from life anymore. This man is the one my heart desires, and it’s still early to know for sure if we’re falling in love. Until we figure that out, we will walk hand in hand creating our own rules as we go along. No more playbooks… No more checklist… and definitely no more sleeping. I refuse to waste away.