Chapter Twelve
Holly chatted amiably as Brian drove them back home. He’d taken her to a movie at the old—and only—theater in the area. They’d watched an action-adventure Holly had wanted to see for a while and, apparently, so had Brian. Afterward, he’d taken her to dinner at Mel’s, a 50s-style diner with the best chocolate milkshakes in town.
Other than the awkward moment when they’d bumped into Marcus and his brothers at the theater, she’d had fun. While Brian had got them popcorn, Marcus had come over to talk. Nothing crazy, but he seemed to regard her as a friend now. A status Holly wasn’t sure she wanted. Cash wouldn’t like it. She’d chatted politely until Brian returned and they headed into the movie.
He’d been four years ahead of her in school, so she hadn’t known him all that well before. Turned out she and Brian had a lot in common. Like her, he was a fellow horseman, not unusual in these parts, but he also did more than the normal things a rancher would. In college, he’d gotten into polo. Holly had laughed and challenged him to a one-on-one match. She’d never played, but with Mischief under her, it might still be fun.
All in all, she liked Brian. He was handsome, courteous, funny, a good listener, educated… The woman who snagged him would be very lucky indeed. But Holly felt absolutely no zing. Not even a smidgeon of a spark. Certainly nothing on the scale of what she felt with Cash.
Damn the man.
As Brian drove his large Ford pickup around the back of the vet office to her house, Holly pulled herself out of her thoughts and refocused her attention on her date. He stopped the truck, hopped out and came around to help her down. Taking her hand, he walked her to the front porch.
“This has been lovely, Brian. I enjoyed it.”
“Me too.” He grinned at her. “Do I hear a ‘but’ in there?”
Holly grimaced. “Not a ‘but’ really. More like a…” She searched around for words that wouldn’t be taken the wrong way.
“No spark?”
Her eyes widened. “You feel it too?”
“Or don’t feel it. Yeah. Although, I wouldn’t mind trying one last thing?” There was a question in his voice.
Holly titled her head. “What?”
“A kiss? All good dates end with one, and it seems worth a try.”
Holly chuckled. He was so happy-go-lucky, she really wanted to feel something…some kind of chemistry. “I’m game.”
Brian sobered. Gently, he cupped her face in his hands as he brought his lips to hers. He kissed her—long, slow kisses that should’ve had her blood singing. While it was pleasant, Holly felt nothing.
Brian pulled back. “Anything?”
Holly pursed her lips and shook her head. “Sorry.”
“Me neither.”
“Dang,” Holly sighed.
White teeth flashed in the night. “I agree. Seems like there should be something there, but…” He just shook his head, leaving the thought open.
“Yeah. Although, I wouldn’t mind hanging out from time to time. Friends are few on the ground for me these days.”
Brian pulled her in close for a big hug. “I’d like that.”
Leaving her at the door, he moved down the stairs.
“Hey,” she called.
He stopped at the truck door and turned back, his eyebrows raised enquiringly.
“If it’s Carter Hill who’s holding you back, you might have a shot.”
Brian did a passable imitation of a fish for a moment. “How did you…? Why would you…?” Finally he spit out, “What makes you say that?”
Holly shrugged. “She seemed to have her eyes on you at the Cinco de Mayo thing.”
“Huh.” That was all Brian said, but Holly still caught his grin as he hopped in his truck and drove away.
She chuckled and turned toward her door. She hoped she was right. Besides, she owed Carter for all the matchmaking that woman had tried to play with her and Cash.
The crunch of tires on the gravel of her drive had her turning back around. Maybe Brian forgot something?
But no. She’d recognize Cash’s truck anywhere.
She stayed where she was as he got out and walked over to stand at the bottom of her stairs, which basically put them on eye level. Heaven help her, he looked good. Too good, maybe. Jeans, a black T-shirt and a belt buckle. Holly’s heart leapt as it hadn’t done once with Brian at any point on their date.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked warily.
“I wanted to talk.”
Holly rubbed her eyes. “I just got back from a date. I’m kinda tired.”
“Yeah. I saw you drive up, so I waited and gave you some privacy.”
She raised her eyebrows at that. “You could’ve been waiting a while.”
“But I wasn’t,” he pointed out with what she felt was extreme arrogance.
“Where’s Sophia?”
“Carter’s staying with her until I get back.”
Nope. Stick to your decision, girl. Don’t let him in. “I’m going to bed.” She turned around and put the key in the lock.
“I’m glad I didn’t have to wait long for him to leave.”
Holly stilled at his quietly uttered words. She closed her eyes because, while it was exactly what she wanted to hear, that didn’t make the facts go away.
She glanced over her shoulder. “Don’t.”
Cash slowly started up the steps. “Did he kiss you?”
Holly turned to face him with a shake of her head. “You don’t get to ask me that.”
Cash paused at the top step. “Did he kiss you?” he repeated softly.
She crossed her arms. “None of your business.”
“I’m making it my business.” He came closer. “Did he make you feel even a small amount of the heat that happens between us?” He spoke softly in a low rasp that skittered down her spine. He was close enough to touch now, crowding her. Flooding her senses.
“You can’t—”
Holly’s words cut off as he took her mouth in a searing kiss. This was no gentle exploration. Instead, it went white-hot in a matter of seconds. Holly had never experienced anything as explosive. She felt as if she might come out of her skin any second. Her entire being was focused on the lips that melded with hers again and again with such a devastating effect.
Cash’s hands roamed down her back, pausing to knead her hips, pulling her in closer to him. His arousal pushed her own even higher. He broke away from her mouth and trailed a stream of hot kisses along her jaw to her ear. Holly thought her knees might buckle, the sensation of his teeth and mouth on that erogenous zone was so overwhelming. At the same time, he tugged the lacy skirt of her dress up higher, a little at a time, until he could trail his fingers over the bared skin of her thighs.
Suddenly, he dropped her skirt, pulled back and took her face in his hands. “Everything in me wants to take you into that house and make love to you for the rest of the night.”
The breath hitched in her chest. She was highly tempted to take the decision out of his hands by dragging him to her bedroom right then and there. Instead, she stared at him wide-eyed.
“I want to…but I’m not going to,” he murmured.
Holly licked her lips. All her well-thought-out reasons had melted under the magic of his kiss. “Why not?”
Cash groaned and leaned his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily. “I forget.”
He captured her lips again in a kiss so achingly sweet it was torment. Tentatively, Holly swept her tongue over his bottom lip. Cash made a growling sound deep in his throat. Passion built between them as kiss melded into kiss, and Holly no longer knew where she ended and he began.
Gradually, with sweet nibbles, Cash slowed things down. With a sigh, he pulled back. “I didn’t come here for this.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“Not that I’d take it back,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But I came to talk. To tell you about Georgia.”
Holly hit reality with a smack.
Cash motioned to the door. “Can we go in?”
Holly silently turned to unlock the door. Once inside, she flipped on the lights. Cash walked across the family room, past her beat-up leather couch and over to her bookshelves. He took his time, looking over the few pictures she had of her family—her mother, Grams and her brother and sister. Skipping the one with her and Georgia.
“Noel and Kris?” He pointed at one of the three siblings together. It was probably hard to tell, since it’d been taken when she was eight.
Holly gave him a tense smile. “Yeah.”
“Do you see them often?”
“Not really. When Grams died, I wasn’t quite eighteen. I left for college shortly after.” A pretty way to put abandoning them.
“That must’ve been hard.” And there it was. The pity. This was exactly why she didn’t tell people these things.
She walked over and picked up the picture from the shelf. “It was a while ago, and we’ve all done well for ourselves.”
“Good for all of you. Your mother and grandmother must’ve taught you all right. Lawyer, vet and SEAL are all professions that take a lot of hard work and persistence.”
Holly smiled as she replaced the frame and resorted to her go-to defense mechanism. “Lawyer, vet and SEAL… Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke.” She didn’t want to talk about them. Especially with Cash.
“Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Use humor when things get too serious?”
The man was far too observant for her peace of mind. “Do I?”
He took her hand, threading his fingers through hers in a way that made her heart ache with longing. “You know you do.”
She turned to face him. “We’re here to talk about you.”
He nodded but didn’t speak. He looked around as though he was trying to find another excuse to put it off.
Guess he’s no better than I am at discussing heavy topics.
An idea formed in her mind. Acting on impulse, Holly tugged on his hand. “Come on.”
She led him out the back door, letting the screen door swing shut behind them. Then she took the path into the woodsy area behind her house. By the light of the full moon, she easily found the trail she’d often walked.
“Where are we going?” Cash asked.
“This leads down to the park.” Callista Park, named for the original town founder’s daughter, ran along the edge of the San Juan River and was the only park in town.
“The park? Now? But it’s dark out…”
“Sometimes it’s easier to get things out in the dark. I find walking helps too.”
“Huh. Or gives a man ideas,” he muttered under his breath.
“I heard that.”
His chuckle drifted to her in the dark and raised goose bumps on her arms.
Once they entered the grassy enclave, she said, “Okay. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Georgia was killed on her way into town.” He stopped talking as if that were significant.
She’d known about the car crash, of course. But the way he said that…she had to be missing something.
“Okay…”
“She was leaving us. Me and Sophia. I found a note after I got home from the hospital. Actually, Sophia found the note. Thankfully, she was only three and not reading yet.”
“Oh…wow.” Holly didn’t know what she’d been expecting Cash to talk about, but it hadn’t been that.
He pulled out a sad, crumpled piece of paper and handed it over to her. Smoothing it out, she paused under the light of one of the street lamps near the playground. As she read, her stomach clenched against each new word. She’d known Georgia hadn’t married for love. She wasn’t unhappy; she just didn’t love him like they’d both dreamed of as girls.
When she read the line about how she counseled Georgia about the hardest things to do, Holly closed her eyes. She had said that. When Georgia first told her she was marrying Cash, Holly had advised against it. But Georgia insisted life as a single mother would be too hard.
Later, when they’d resumed their friendship, Georgia hated it when Holly told her not to continue her friendship with Marcus. By silent agreement, they’d never talked about Georgia and Cash’s relationship. Georgia probably didn’t want to bring up the topic, which had caused such a breach in their friendship. And Holly didn’t really want to hear about it. She hadn’t assumed her friend was blissfully happy, but she also hadn’t realized she was so unhappy she’d leave her family.
Now Holly regretted the distance—both physical and mental—that meant she hadn’t known.
Once she finished reading, they walked on in silence for a while, only the gurgling sounds of the gently flowing river close by making any noise.
Georgia. Her heart broke for her friend and for Cash.
She let her gaze wander over him now, stone-faced and his jaw clenched tightly. Stubble graced his usually clean-shaven face, something she found sexy as all get-out, wanting to reach out and feel the rough texture against her skin.
Holly shook off that thought and focused on what he’d just shared. Had he been heartbroken? She reached out to take his hand, holding it as they walked, trying to pass him any comfort she could with that simple touch. Trying not to think about how wonderful it felt.
Holly’s heart ached for him. She couldn’t imagine losing a spouse, only to find they were leaving you. So many unanswered questions on top of the pain of loss. They walked quietly. By unspoken consent, they moved over to a picnic table and sat. A breeze kicked up, blowing Holly’s hair across her face. Before she could lift a hand, Cash reached over and tucked it back behind her ear.
She didn’t comment and he dropped his hand back to his lap.
“She told me about her friendship with Marcus during your marriage.”
He jerked his head her way.
“Not the leaving you part,” she said, trying to back up a bit. “They weren’t having an affair, as far as I know, but she took Sophia to see him often, out of guilt maybe.” Holly shook her head at the memory. “I didn’t support her, told her to end it, to focus on your marriage.”
“I see.” There it was. The hardness again. Perhaps she shouldn’t have confessed her knowledge, but not doing so seemed wrong, given everything else between them. She was bone tired, and very much over the secrets.
“Why didn’t you say anything about it when you came to me with the paternity news? Or what about before then? Why not warn me before I married her?”
Holly’s stomach turned over at the accusation in his voice, and she hoped he could see the contrition in her eyes. “You have to understand that my knowing changed nothing when you married. She was pregnant. She told me Sophia was yours, and I believed her. She didn’t confess her worry about Marcus being the dad until…later. If I’d told you after Sophia was born, would you have left Georgia?”
Jaw like granite, he stared at her for a long moment before he shook his head and glanced away. “I don’t know.” He blew out a long breath. “Probably not.”
She let him digest that. While she’d hated essentially lying to such nice people all this time, it wasn’t her place to destroy a marriage. In her opinion, right or wrong, it had been up to Georgia to share her secrets. It was part of the reason Holly hadn’t visited here as often as she could have—instead, having Georgia out to see her more frequently. She’d had a hard time facing Cash, knowing the things she did.
“After the funeral, I saw no reason to tarnish your view of her. And, at your office, I didn’t want to further destroy your dead wife in your mind. I was trying to not make it worse than it already was, I guess.”
He considered her reasons in silence for a long while. Eventually, he blew out a long breath. “I guess I can understand why you didn’t say anything.” He ran that hand through his hair. “Please don’t mention this. About Georgia leaving me, I mean. I’ve never shared this information with anyone else.”
“Wait…your parents don’t know about her note?”
He shook his head.
“Carter? Will?”
He grimaced. “I told Will recently.”
So he’d kept both Georgia’s leaving and the paternity suit to himself? At least he had Will to talk to for part of it. “You should tell them, Cash. About everything.”
He looked away. “Why?”
“They love you. They’d want to support you.”
When he didn’t reply, she bit her lip. Did she keep pushing? “So, why tell me now?”
He turned back to face her. “Because I need you to understand why I reacted the way I did when you told me about the paternity issue. What she did to me…” He shook his head again. “Her getting pregnant was both our fault, but I was faithful to our marriage. Let’s just say I don’t trust easily after the way she handled things.”
Stone-cold logic. Not only that, but what Cash left unsaid was that Holly had known all of those secrets and not shared. Even if he understood her reasons, trusting her was probably never going to happen. She pushed that depressing thought away.
“He asked to see Sophia, you know?”
Holly tensed. “Marcus?”
He nodded. “He said he’d thought of her as his so long that he loved her as though she were. He wants to be her friend, I think.”
“He told me.”
Again, Cash pulled back. “He did?”
She nodded slowly, not completely able to read his reaction. “I think, as Georgia’s best friend, he sees me as some kind of…go-between.”
“I see.” Which meant what?
“What did you say to him?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
He tossed her an irritated frown. “Why do you think? The man wanted to take my daughter away from me.”
Holly pursed her lips. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m for whatever you decide. But the impression I got is Marcus wanted to make sure she wasn’t his daughter, not take her away from you. There’s a difference.”
“Not to me.” He practically growled the words.
She held up her hands. “Like I said, whatever you decide is best gets my full support.”
He blinked, and she got the impression she’d surprised him with that answer. She’d always been on his side, but got why he didn’t know that. Too many rocks and hard places she’d been stuck between for years.
Holly scrunched her nose and looked away, something still bothering her. “Why was it important that I know about Georgia leaving you, Cash?”
He crossed his arms. “You’re friends with my family, with my daughter. They’ll notice if we’re constantly…”
“Distant.”
“Good a word as any,” he muttered.
“So…what? You want to call a truce?”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
Friend-zoned again. Which was good. Appropriate. She couldn’t be more to him, even if a secret part of her wanted that. “I can do a truce. But if this is going to work, I really think there should be no more kissing.”
Cash grimaced. His eyes skated to her lips, but he nodded. “Right. Got it. No more of that.”
“Okay.” Holly nodded in return.
Cash levered himself off the table and held out a hand to her. “Friends?”
She shook his hand, savoring the warm strength of his touch. “Friends.”
“I’ll walk you home.”
When he went to thread their fingers together, she pulled away. He gave her an odd look but didn’t say anything, walking quietly at her side.
Holly knew now that she’d been right all along. Despite her feelings for him, despite their mutual attraction, she needed to keep their relationship as platonic as possible, or she risked heartbreak. Not only would Cash struggle to trust her—a key element in any relationship—but he was right to do so, too. She wasn’t good mother material, and he needed to think about Sophia first and foremost.