After a long weekend spent at home--a weekend where, aside from the one time, we didn't get up to anything more than watching movies and dragging the Cards Against Humanity deck out of my closet--Noah and I were both a little stir-crazy.

It wasn't just the fact that we'd been confined, since Grizz thought it was best for both of us to keep a low profile while they looked for dirt on Brett. It was more the fact that we were both men of action, apparently. My parents were big believers in the whole "idle hands are the Devil's workshop,” just without the Devil part, and I got the impression Noah wasn't exactly sure what to do with himself if he wasn't actively working or living his life.

So Tuesday morning--after being denied a shot at Monday--I told Grizz we were coming in, whether he liked it or not. That went over about as well as imagined, but neither Noah nor I relented. We stopped to get some falafel on the way over there--one of Grizz's only weaknesses that I knew of--and Noah cracked the lid of the takeout box as soon as I pushed open the door.

"Bringing out the big guns?" Daya asked with a smirk.

"Don't you know? Falafel soothes the savage beast. Well, falafel and other things, but I don't know if your boss would appreciate the other things," Noah said, feigning innocence.

Had he just...? He wasn't talking about me, was he? No. There was no way. I was just being paranoid.

"He free?" I asked her. One quick glance showed me Avery was busy with a phone call and Warren must have been out on assignment, because he wasn't anywhere to be found.

"As far as I know. He's been in there since about 10:30, so he might be following up with clients." Daya gave a little shrug.

"One way to find out," I muttered, taking the bag from Noah. "You gonna be okay out here?"

As much as everybody considered Noah an unofficial part of the team, he wasn't on the payroll and couldn't be let it on privileged information. Fortunately he didn't seem bothered. He just took up a seat on the edge of Daya's desk and turned to face her.

"Please. You’ve been my only source of conversation for four days," he said with a dramatic shudder. "I'll be more than okay."

I just shook my head and smirked. Noah was back to his old bravado. I'd realized over time that it wasn't really the core of who he was, but until recently I hadn't seen the depths of him. He was emotional. Vulnerable. Resilient. None of that came across in the persona he showed most of the world, and I couldn't help wondering why he'd built that mask for himself in the first place.

It wasn't a puzzle I could solve right now. If I knew what was good for me, I wouldn't ever try to solve it. But for the time being, I made my way to Grizz's office. A knock on the door warned him of my presence, and when he acknowledged me, I let myself in.

The light of the computer screen played against his face, making the dark circles underneath his eyes seem even darker. Grizz always reminded me of one of those army veterans who stayed in peak shape throughout his life, well into his forties and even beyond. The guys who found something physical to do with their time so they wouldn't lose any of the strength that defined their youth.

Today, though, he looked every one of his forty-something years. There were lines etched into his brow and around his mouth I hadn't noticed before. A few more gray hairs had started to pop up, giving him more of a salt and pepper look. And when his gaze flicked to me, it wasn't like looking into a mirror anymore. There was a tiredness in his eyes that didn't match mine.

"Thought I told you not to come in," he said flatly, his attention returning to the screen.

"You did."

Approaching his desk, I pulled the takeout container from its bag and set a packet of utensils on top of it. My very own peace offering. Grizz glanced at the food, but didn't touch it yet. Pushing my luck, I took a seat in one of the two chairs arranged in front of his desk. My attention wandered, landing on the framed photo of a boy who was maybe nine or ten. He was leaned over an aquarium, his fingers stretched out to touch a dolphin that swam below.

Grizz's son.

All of us had learned not to ask about Ben. There were few things in the world that made Grizz lose his shit, but questions about his son were definitely one of them.

"How's Noah?" he asked, finally acknowledging that I wasn't going to leave.

"Going a little crazy being cooped up," I admitted. "We both are. But he's good other than that. Bruises are healing, that cut he got above his eye is scabbed over, and he's not in as much pain anymore."

"Good," Grizz said, looking over at me again.

Apparently satisfied--at least enough to eat--he pushed his chair out and surveyed the takeout tray. The strong smell of garlic wafted my way, the hint of coriander making my eyes sting just a little bit. I'd never been an adventurous eater. Noah always got a kick out of the fact that I'd never had this, that, or the other. But Grizz looked at that tray like a dog with a bone, and for a second I actually felt envious.

"The senator's getting impatient." Breaking through the plastic of his utensils, Grizz freed a fork as well as the little packets of salt and pepper. "He came down here yesterday, looking for an update on his daughter."

"What'd you tell him?" Unease rose like an itch in the back of my mind.

"That we were making progress, which we have. Avery spoke to one of Liz's friends, and I let Billings hear the playback of that interview. Seemed to appease him, but he won't stay happy for long."

I thought of the man Noah and I had met. He was likely used to getting his way, and with his connections, he could raise hell for the office if he chose. Noah was right. We never should have taken a case from someone like him to begin with.

"I'm not sure Liz should go back there. Everything we've seen... it doesn't look good," I said, catching Grizz's eyes.

He let out a long breath. "Legally, that's not our call. You boys get me into enough hot water doing things you shouldn't."

That was fair. Avery had spent a long time traipsing all over a dangerous mountain with Warren to find a missing kid, something the rangers should have handled. And I'd had my fair share of close encounters with officers who were none too happy I'd done their work for them. The military background only helped so much.

In this case, things were even trickier.

"If we get the cops in on this, she'll be arrested. At best they'll release her into her dad's custody." The words left a bad taste in my mouth.

"We have some time to stall. A week, maybe two before he gets someone else in on the investigation," Grizz mused after spearing a forkful of falafel.

I sighed, my fingers drumming on the arm of the chair. It wasn't much time, but we'd pulled off trickier cases in shorter time frames. Everyone just needed to be as guarded as possible when talking to the senator, and I needed to find a way to get Liz to open up. If I had some conclusive evidence that her father was harming her...

"I'll work on it," I said, expecting pushback. But there wasn't any. Grizz just ate his lunch, his gaze drifting back to his screen. When he kept ignoring me, I decided to press my luck. "Any word on Brett?"

Grizz swallowed his bite and chased it with a drink of water before answering. "Not as much as I'd like. Avery managed to track down someone he did business with before, when he lived in California. You can talk to him about that."

It was as clear an indication as any that he wanted to be left to finish his lunch in peace, and I was happy to oblige. There was something intimidating about Gregory Caldwell. He was quiet, but in a way that promised he could break someone into pieces with his bare hands if he wanted to. Or just with the power of his glare. In the five years I'd worked here, I hadn't seen him smile once. Not one single time. Kacey claimed he'd seen it, but it was hard to believe.

It definitely wasn't going to happen if I hung around, so I thanked him with a nod and got the hell out, closing the door behind me. Looking through the office, I saw Noah still talking in his animated way to Daya, who was leaning over her desk with her elbows propped on the surface, her chin in her hands. Avery was sequestered in the break room, his cell phone still attached to his ear. I made my way in there, getting the tail end of his conversation.

"Just be careful. Please. We know this guy is dangerous." A long pause, then Avery's expression softened. "I love you, too. You'd better be back by nine. I'm not logging in by myself."

That caught my attention and I arched a brow, leaning against the counter as Avery finished up. "Logging in?"

Avery let out a long-suffering sigh. "Ian may have talked us into playing World of Warcraft with him and his boyfriend. Warren's way better at it than me."

I snorted, trying to imagine Warren sitting at a computer, playing an MMO. Avery seemed more the type to enjoy it, but apparently not.

"Are you supposed to be in today?" Avery looked past me, his gaze settling on Noah.

"Nope." I let that answer settle for a beat, then launched straight into the reason I'd gone looking for him. "Grizz said you had info on Brett."

"Ah, yeah." He swiped his phone to life and walked over to me, distracted by the screen as he spoke. "Turns out Noah's not the first guy he's hired. Or the first guy he's mistreated. There's a sex worker blacklist in northern California, and his name was added to it in September of 2012."

He handed over his phone, and in his gallery there was a screen capture of the registry.

Brett Collins

Whatever he's offering, it's not worth it. He gets attached quick, and once he decides he owns you, that's it. Stay far away from this asshole.

-- J.H.

"Where'd you find this?"

"On a private Facebook group," Avery said. "It doesn't exist anymore, but there are still a few archives floating around. Daya was able to get ahold of this one."

"Any idea who the guy is?" I asked.

"He goes by the name Jamie Harding. He's mostly a performer now; a pretty big presence in the cam world. I'm still working on getting him to talk to me one-on-one. Every time I try to ask about Brett, he shuts down."

The fact that he'd found this guy was something, but I didn't like that Brett apparently had a long history of abuse. Jamie hadn't stated it outright, but I was willing to bet he and Noah had a lot in common when it came to experience with that man. Gazing out the Plexiglas window that separated the break room from the main part of the office, I found my gaze lingering on Noah.

Beside me, Avery closed the door. "So. What's going on with you two?"

That defensive part of me kicked up immediately, but I held my ground as I looked at him. "What do you mean what's going on with us?"

"Something's different," he said matter-of-factly.

And how the fuck could he possibly know that? I knew Avery was good at reading people, but he'd been on the phone almost the whole time we'd been here.

"...Are you sleeping with him?"

It wasn't just the words that bothered me, it was the way he asked them. Like it was absolutely unthinkable. And maybe I would've agreed with him even just a few weeks ago. Maybe part of me still agreed with him. But I sure as shit wasn't going to stand there and listen to him say it.

"What's it matter if I am?" I shot back.

Avery's eyes widened, then a frown worked its way into his features. I was tempted to just march straight through that door he'd closed, collect Noah, and get us the hell out of here. I liked Avery. Before Warren came along, I'd been the one to look out for him. But I wasn't interested in hearing him lecture about something I already told myself on a daily basis.

"Cam..." He let out a soft sigh, one hand raking through his short hair. "Look, you're both adults, and I know I can't influence what you do or don't do--"

"Yeah, you can't," I cut in.

"--but do you really think this is a good idea?"

Of course I didn't. Except for all the times when I did. Like the other night, when I'd just held him until we both fell asleep. Or after I'd told him about one of the worst moments of my life and he hadn't shown me pity, just steady, unconditional compassion. I didn't deserve any of it, but God, I wanted it. From the moment our lips had met for the very first time, I'd craved it like nothing else.

"This could go so, so wrong, Cam," Avery continued.

"Don't you think I know that?" My voice raised enough that I knew Noah, Daya, and maybe even Grizz heard me through the wall. I didn't bother looking to see if their eyes were on me. "I know I'm not good for him. I know if he stays with me, it'll just fuck him up."

The more I spoke, the more Avery's expression shifted from concern to confusion. By the time I stopped, he was staring at me like he had no idea what I'd just said. "Cam." His eyes searched mine, and I forced myself to look back at him. "That's not what I meant."

He hadn't. I saw it in his warm, guileless eyes, and the weight of that realization almost staggered me. I leaned more heavily against the counter, my arms folding in front of me as I tore my gaze away from his.

"Yeah, you need to be careful with Noah. I know there's more to him than what he shows any of us," Avery said, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance out into the office, "but it's you I'm worried about. I know you better than you think, Cameron. If you get attached to him--if you start having feelings for him--are you really going to be able to handle it when he goes back to work?"

The answer was nearly automatic: No. I wouldn't.

I might say I could, if it came down to losing him or dealing with the fact that he fucked other men for a living. But I knew I'd never be able to handle it. It would break me. And just like I'd told Noah, it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my own bullshit insecurities. I'd always wonder if I was enough for him--if some other guy satisfied him better than I could.

If I gave my heart to Noah, I'd spend the whole time worried he'd give his to somebody else. Somebody who was easier to live with. Somebody who wasn't as broken. Somebody who actually deserved him.

I closed my eyes, not answering Avery. I didn't need to. We both knew the truth. And even as Noah and I left--even as we headed out later for the dinner I'd promised him--it was all I could think about. I'd spent all this time worrying about what I could do to Noah, not what he could do to me.

And if there was anybody out there who could bring me to my knees, I knew it was him.