Something about Noah's words stuck with me.

Over the years, he'd told me the things he did were for himself. Not because somebody'd mistreated him or because he was trying to fit into some societal mold. I never realized why that was so hard for me to understand... until now. All my life, everything I'd done had been for other people. When I came out to my family, I did it because I didn't want my folks to hear it from someone else. When I joined the military, it was because I wanted to make a difference in peoples' lives, and in the way our country functioned.

With Riggs, and Avery, and Noah, and everyone else I'd sworn to protect, I'd done it because I thought they needed it. Because I saw parts of myself in them, and I didn't want them to lose their hope, their spirit, their faith the way I lost mine over the years. I'd thought it was all about me and my own insecurities--my need to be needed.

But I wasn't sure I'd ever really considered the value and weight of my own feelings. Even when I'd made that agreement with Noah last night, I hadn't been true to myself. I'd given him what I thought he wanted; what I thought we could both handle. Was it out of fear? I really didn't know, but as Noah's words hit me, I knew I needed to find out.

There were still things to do, obviously. Liz needed to feel safe. So did Noah. But once those two things were settled, I was going to sit down and take a good, hard look at what I wanted--starting with the man sitting across from me.

When I had Grizz set up a call with the senator, my attention fell completely on Liz. I handed over the phone, and she took it with a trembling hand. Noah sat beside her, comforting her, and I couldn't help but wish there was more I could do for her than silently hope her father wasn't going to be the asshole Noah thought he was. Of course, Noah had come around. He'd invested his faith on Liz's behalf, just so she could get some closure from it. I had to do the same.

And at first, when Liz put it on speaker, the call went okay.

"Daddy?" she asked tentatively.

I heard him suck in a breath, caught the sound of a choked sob before he answered. "Lizzie? Oh, God. My sweet girl. Where are you? Are you okay? Oh, thank God, thank God..."

He repeated it like a mantra, but for once it didn't sound like a campaign slogan. It just sounded like a desperate man who was thankful he hadn't lost everything.

"I'm okay," she said, pushing her hair back behind her ear. "I'm safe. But there's something I need you to know, before we talk any more."

Silence. When I glanced at Liz, I could tell it was making her all the more anxious. Noah's hand went to her shoulder and he squeezed. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and her dad finally said something.

"Whatever it is, sweetie, you can tell me in person. Please, Lizzie, just come home. Your mother and I were worried sick."

I almost opened my mouth to intervene--to repeat what I knew Grizz had said to him, about letting her speak--but Liz beat me to the punch.

"I have to do it here, and I need you to be okay with that. Whether you're okay with what I have to tell you or not," she said, the last of her words choked by a sob.

"Of course I'll be okay with it, Lizzie. You're my little girl, I--"

"I'm gay, Dad." She let the confession rest for only a second before she repeated it, her voice shaking but also growing in volume like she was slowly finding her footing. "I'm gay. I've known for a while now, but I didn't know how to tell you."

More silence. Across from me, Liz didn't breathe. And when I heard the senator's nervous laugh on the other end of the line, I knew everything was about to go downhill fast. That wasn't the laugh of a man who was going to embrace his kid with open arms. That was the laugh of a man who'd jumped headfirst into denial.

"Lizzie, honey, just come home and we'll talk this through. It--"

He didn't have a chance to finish. Liz's fingers went for the end call button in a blur of motion, striking out so fast she might have cracked the screen. The line went dead, and she got up immediately, shaking off Noah. As I watched, she tucked her arms tightly around herself and shut down right before my eyes.

Damn that man. I knew it wasn't fair of me. She'd barely given him any time to react, and nobody was perfect enough to have the right words just ready to go. But I hated that her own father had caused this. I hated that Noah had been right about him all along.

It was Noah who surprised me, though. Just like he always did.

"Let me ask you one thing, and then I'll fuck off if you want me to." He waited for her consent, and she finally nodded. "Did that call give you the closure you needed?"

"You heard him!" Liz's words came out in a pained wail that cut right through me. "He wants me to come home so he can 'fix' me. Turn me back into his sweet little girl who walks the righteous path."

"Do you really think that? Enough that you're willing to accept it and live with it for the rest of your life?" Noah asked, his voice quiet, but unwavering.

"I..."

Liz looked away, and I closed my eyes. Everything Noah said about talking to his clients, fulfilling their emotional needs even more than their physical needs... God, he was amazing at it. He wasn't pushing her or forcing her to look at things a certain way. He was just trying to get her to recognize what she really needed out of the interaction.

"Remember, all of this is for you. Nobody else. What do you need?" he asked again.

Liz's shoulders shook as she cried, but neither Noah nor I approached her. Finally she sucked in a breath, a sob breaking through before she answered.

"I need to know."

"We can try again tomorrow, then," Noah said. "If you're ready for it."

Her eyes closed, but she slowly nodded. The only sound between the two of them for a while was a small sniffle as she tried to get her tears under control.

"You can stay at my place tonight," he said, and I already imagined I was in for another long night on the couch. Better that than not knowing what was going on, though. "But no more running."

Liz finally turned to face us both. She swallowed down a lump of emotion, let her arms rest a little looser, then said, "I'll stay. But I need some space. I know it's unfair to ask for it--"

"And unsafe," I put in. "We don't know if--"

"Cam and I will stay at his place," Noah said, cutting me off. "But if anything weird happens, or if you ever feel uncomfortable, you call us and then you get in a car immediately. I'll pay the fare, and I'll text you the address. Deal?"

"Deal," Liz agreed, with a small smile. She looked between Noah and I, then added, "Wait. I thought the whole thing about Cam being your boyfriend was a lie. I mean, he’s just someone you work with, right? Why are you staying at his place?"

This time, I didn't hesitate. I listened to what I wanted--what I really wanted--and spoke it out loud. "Who says it's a lie?"

Liz gave an amused but satisfied smile, while Noah just looked at me, his dark blue eyes wide with surprise. I jerked my head toward the parking lot, motioning for the three of us to head back to his place so we could drop Liz off. She walked ahead of us, and Noah hung back for a few moments, drifting so close to me I could smell the floral scent of his shampoo.

"We're definitely going to talk about that later," he whispered, his warm breath sending a shiver racing down my spine.

And sure enough, the entire drive back, instead of worrying about how the senator reacted to that call or what Brett was up to now, all I could think about was getting him home so we could have that "talk."

* * *

Noah made good on his promise, but there definitely wasn't much talking involved.

He was unusually quiet as I drove us back to my place. So much so that I started to doubt we were on the same page. Maybe I'd scared him off by being so honest out of the blue. Maybe he really had just wanted that physical agreement we made. But the second we got inside my apartment--the moment I closed the door behind us--Noah silenced all those doubts when he pushed me up against the door and kissed me like he'd been waiting to do it for ages.

It started with a fire and a fury I eagerly matched, as if we were both making up for all the time we'd lost. My mouth bruised against his, my teeth snagging his lip, his tongue plunging into me. The two of us created a vortex of hot, whirling need that knew no boundaries. The kind of need that could have started wars or razed cities. Need that was so potent, so powerful, there was no other way for it to end but with me fucking Noah against this door while his pants were still around his ankles.

But something blossomed between us, slowing that need until it became something different. Still powerful, but not as insistent as it was before; not as tied to the needs of my body and his. Something resonated between us, warm and bright, and we both nurtured it with long, lingering kisses, hands that explored the planes of each other's bodies, and a sense of wonder that made every touch, every kiss seem like something new. His hands framed my face, his thumbs stroking in a way that was all affection--and maybe something more. My arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him to me as I explored his mouth, reveling in the way his lips melded to mine, in the soft moans and gasps I could draw from him.

We kissed until we were out of breath--and a little beyond that point--before Noah broke away and rested his forehead against mine. I stood there with him, listening to the sound of his breathing, feeling his heart beating in time with mine. It was perfect without words, and when Noah opened his mouth to speak, a tendril of fear coiled inside me.

"What you said earlier... I know I'm maybe getting ahead of myself..."

"You're not," I said, sealing my words with a sweet kiss that Noah returned. "Everything you said to Liz about her living for what she wanted, it made me realize I haven't been honest about what I want."

I rested my forehead back against Noah's and smoothed my hands over his chest, his shoulders, before resting them on either side of his neck. His dark blue eyes had that almost violet tint to them again as he looked at me, hope and desire and something else overflowing in his expression.

"Are you really going to leave a guy in suspense?" His words were playful, but the laugh that followed was adorably nervous.

I brushed my lips against his before I answered. "I want you, Noah. I have for a long time. And not just in some 'friends with benefits' arrangement. I want all of you, and if I can't have that, I'll take as much as you're willing to give me."

Moisture brimmed in his beautiful eyes, but I took his growing smile as a positive sign. "You can have everything you want, Cam. I'm yours."

My hands moved down his body again and I gripped his hips, gently turning him so that his back was facing the wall. I pressed my body against his, feeling the length of him as he arched into me. A moan caught in my throat as he met my mouth with an eager kiss halfway between that uncontrollable fire that burned between us earlier, and the slow, sweet, sensual flame that smoldered at a steady pace.

"You know what I really want right now?" I murmured, my lips dragging down to his jaw.

He tilted his head back to give me better access. "Baby, I'm not in any shape for brain teasers right now. In case you hadn't noticed, all my energy's being diverted elsewhere."

Oh, I'd noticed. I gently rolled my hips against his, loving the sound of his whimper as I ground against him. But there was one thing I needed even before any of this. One thing that would get me ready for everything that came after.

"You don't have to guess," I said, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth before releasing it. "I can just show you."

He groaned when I pulled away from him, his lips and body chasing mine. I kept my grip on his hips, pulling him with me and kissing him again as I tried to maneuver us around the foyer walls and the furniture that made up my living room. There wasn't much of it, but enough that I had to stop kissing him several times to make sure we weren't about to topple over an end table or something.

I managed to get us to the bathroom and ran my hand along the wall until I reached the shower controls. As soon as the water started, I pushed Noah back against the sink. "Strip," I murmured against his lips, my voice low.

His gaze was heated by lust, and he went straight for his pants. The nice slacks were creased and wrinkled now, and he almost tore the button off in his haste to get them undone. I "helped" by pulling his shirt out from where he'd tucked it in and running my hands over his bare skin, feeling the muscles in his abdomen tense and flex underneath my fingers.

"You can't just stand there fully-clothed," he said, his voice lifting in a cute whine.

"Sure I can. I'm not removing a damn thing until you're naked." Leaning in, I sucked on the cord of muscle in his neck, drawing a gasp from him.

"Not fair." Even as he said it, he pushed down his pants, stepping out of them.

My teeth snagged my bottom lip as I looked down, running my hands over the slim line of his hips. Noah was a little on the skinny side, but just enough that his hip bones jutted out in the perfect V. Even as he pulled down his briefs, I imagined gripping those hips as I took his beautiful cock into my mouth, or holding on tight while I pounded him from behind.

There was so much I wanted to do to him. As much as we both needed this shower, I wasn’t sure much washing was going to get done.

Taking me at my word, Noah pulled his shirt off, not bothering with any buttons but the top one. My hands went to his bare skin, my palms moving over his chest and down his abdomen, but he stopped me before I got any further.

“Your turn,” he said with a smirk.

I shot him a challenging look, but in the end, I was eager to get undressed and feel his hands and mouth on my skin. I yanked at clothing, tossing shirt and pants onto the bathroom floor, my own briefs following shortly after. The second we were both naked, Noah’s hands were all over me. I pulled his lean body against mine, a moan catching in my throat as he ground against me eagerly, skin to skin.

“Shower,” I ordered, knowing if we didn’t get in there soon, we’d never make it.

Noah tested the water before he got in, and I followed right after, still touching him, still kissing him even as water beat down on my back. I pressed him against the wall, my hands encircling his wrists as I pinned them above his head. His eyes were half-lidded as he looked at me, but filled with complete and utter trust.

And God, I lived for it. My mouth moved to his jaw, then his neck, one arm bracing against his wrists as the other glided along his lean body. Just as I was considering turning him so that his chest was pressed against the cool shower wall, his firm ass just begging for me to slide my cock along his cleft, I heard the worst possible sound:

A knock at my front door.