Chapter 18
Delilah
“Enjoy the wishes that do come true and reach for the ones that don’t.”
~ Grant Turner
Was this actually happening?
As Sawyer’s strong hand cupped my core firmly, his intimate touch hitting all the right places, his thumb brushed over my clit and stars exploded behind my eyelids.
Yes. It was. This was happening.
I couldn’t quite comprehend the reality that I was living in. Of course, I’d hoped this would happen. Otherwise, I never would’ve laid myself on the line like this.
But there was another big part of me that thought that this whole thing was too good to be true. That Sawyer was a dream that was simply too sweet to ever become reality.
It wasn’t that I thought I didn’t deserve it. I was past that now…well, most of the time, anyway. I believed that I was good enough, and smart enough, and beautiful enough. I deserved all good things. I did, now, truly believe that with my whole heart.
But, there was just something about Sawyer. Maybe it was that I had wanted him so long without ever letting myself believe that he would want me back, so the habit of not thinking it would ever happen was so ingrained. Or maybe it was just that I wanted him so much that it felt more like a fantasy than reality ever could.
Whatever the reason, the result was the same—right now, naked in Sawyer’s shower as he kissed me, feasted on my nipples, and moved his hand oh so deliciously between my legs… I mean, it felt so much more like a dream than real life that it was hard to be present and enjoy it. My mind was more congested than Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
My body, however, didn’t suffer from any of the conflicted feelings that my brain was currently being tortured by. No. My body was one hundred percent on board. No second thoughts.
I didn’t want to be alone in experiencing the heady sensation his expert ministrations were sending through me. I needed to touch him. Not just his back and shoulders and abs and all the places he’d let me explore. I wanted to intimately massage his sex, just as he was doing to mine. I rocked my hips back slightly and reached between our bodies. My fingers wrapped around his shaft and I squeezed his rock hard flesh.
I gasped as I felt the steel weight and girth of it in my hand. In my multitude of fantasies, I’d imagined he would be pretty massive—I mean, look at him. But, all the times I’d let my imagination run away with me, even seeing it with my own eyes, and feeling it rub against my body, didn’t prepare me for how big, strong, and powerful his manhood would be when I touched it.
It was like one of the natural wonders. There was no question.
I pulled back and looked into his face, my wide eyes meeting his. “Wow. You are…huge!” I blurted out artlessly.
The only response I received was a small smile. But, hey—this was Sawyer we were talking about. A small smile was still a smile.
I didn’t get to admire it for long. He dipped his head back down and went immediately back to kissing his way down my body. I’d never felt anything anywhere close to what I felt at this moment. My entire body was overwhelmed with sensations. Tingles of pleasure whirled in spirals of bliss originating in my core and spreading through me.
I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, I felt more butterflies in my stomach just thinking about Sawyer than I ever felt about any other guy I’d been with. So, it was a pretty safe prediction that being touched and kissed by Sawyer was going to be an unprecedented and mind-bending, soul-deep experience.
But, the reality of it was blowing those expectations so far out of the water that I couldn’t even see them from here.
My knees wouldn’t even support me. With every other guy I’d been with, I would’ve worried about my size, worried that they could hold me up. But not Sawyer. His strength enveloped me. And not just physically, his protective instincts permeated through his touch. His arm around my waist felt like the kind of security, the kind of care I’d always wanted. I felt like I was his and I loved it.
In the back of my mind, I knew that this was temporary. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t forever. But I forced myself to shut my brain off. I grew even more determined to just feel. To let go and allow the waves of pleasure, of passion, of possession take me under.
I moved my hand up and down on his hard, hot flesh. It twitched and throbbed under my attention, and the throbbing grew more and more intense the faster and firmer I pumped it. Water poured over us. Each drop increased the sensual eroticism of the encounter.
As much as I would love for us to get each other off this way, I wanted more. I needed to ask for what I wanted. And what I wanted was Sawyer inside me.
I stretched up on my tiptoes so that my lips were right next to his ear as I whispered, in as seductive a tone as I could manage, “I want you inside me. Please.”
He groaned and closed his eyes.
I reached just outside the shower curtain where I’d strategically placed protection when I’d come in.
When I pulled my arm inside, I saw that his eyes were open. “You think of everything, don’t you?” he rasped.
“Yep,” I said with a self-satisfied smile.
Then, Sawyer did something very unexpected…at least for him.
He smiled, too.
Not a sly little grin. Not the ghost of a smile that you could torture yourself for days afterward wondering if it’d just been your imagination. But a full-fledged, wide grin. With teeth and everything.
He took the condom package from me, tore the wrapper with his teeth and tossed it aside as he pulled the condom out, and slid the latex sheath over himself. I’d bought the Magnum size. Turns out, I was right.
I was so focused on his magnificent erection as he glided the condom over it that I was taken completely by surprise when his strong hands spun me around as if I was no more substantial than a ragdoll. Honestly, when Sawyer touched me, it was like I weighed nothing at all. He was in complete control of my body, and I liked it a whole lot.
He lifted my arms above my head, easily holding my wrists with one hand and pinning them against the tile. Sex from behind had always been my favorite position, but I’d never voiced that to any of my partners. I’d been trying to speak up and ask for what I wanted, but relief and arousal flooded me as I realized that I didn’t have to do that, with Sawyer.
“Spread your legs,” he commanded roughly.
I did as he asked and with the hand that wasn’t holding my arms in place he dug his fingers into my hips and tilted them up. His entire body surrounded me, making me feel tiny—something I’d never really felt before. I liked that a whole lot, too. I lifted onto my tiptoes and felt his engorged tip at my entrance.
His lips brushed against my ear as he leaned into me. I felt the pressure of his head pressing against my core as he said, “Are you ready?”
“Yes—” my voice cut off as I gasped when he plunged into me, stretching me. A sharp pain stung for a moment but then dissolved into pleasure unlike any I’d ever experienced.
He filled me completely, pushing my body to its limit and then stilled. I could feel his breath down my neck as he throbbed inside of me.
“You’re so tight,” he gritted out, and the vibration of his gravelly words chased down my spine.
After a few moments he began moving inside me in small motions, my body adapted to his size, and soon I was begging him. For what, I wasn’t even sure because I was so mindless with pleasure. But when he began plunging into me and pulling out over and over, sending electric lightning bolts through me with every thrust, I knew that’s what I’d been pleading for.
I tried to keep my emotions under control as he made love to me. I tried to remind myself again and again that this didn’t mean anything. He made that clear. To him, this was a simple one-night stand.
But, none of that mattered to my lust-ridden consciousness. With every powerful thrust, I was falling a little bit more in love with him. Holding back wasn’t going to do any good. I realized that I might as well just close my eyes and surrender to whatever sensations or emotions washed over me.
As soon as I followed that advice, the next thing that I knew I was overcome by a powerful orgasm. There was no warning as white light exploded inside my brain, like a star burning out of existence. My head fell back, and my hands clawed the tiles as his fingers tightened their grip around my wrists.
At the height of my orgasm, I felt him thrust into me one last time, a particularly powerful movement, and then his arm around my waist clenched intensely. His body shook behind me and the knowledge of him climaxing at the same time as I was heightened my release.
As we both drifted back to reality, I told myself not to be disappointed if he asked me to leave. Of course, it would be great if this had been the best sex of his life, too, and I’d blown his mind as thoroughly as he’d just blown mine…but I knew that that was way too much to hope for. Stuff like that only happened in romance novels, and this was no romance novel. This was plain old Wishing Well, Texas, and things like that didn’t happen here.
But a girl could dream.
I pulled away from him, disentangling myself from his body and his strong arms, and spun to face him. Just as much as I’d lost myself in the reality of the moment when we’d been making love, I needed to face the reality of the aftermath. I started to get out of the shower, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him.
He held me there, and we stood for the longest time, neither of us saying anything. I felt his heart beating in his chest. I laid my head on his shoulder. The water streamed over our bodies like a tropical waterfall. It rolled from him onto me, and me onto him, and back again. It was like we were one form. Connected.
It was the closest I’d ever felt to another person in my entire life. And we never said one word.