Chapter Eighteen
Late June – Carmel, California
Given that she was getting married in less than twenty four hours, Julia knew that she should really be trying to get some sleep right about now, instead of sitting out on her parents’ deck to watch the stars come out with her sister. But she’d been more than a little worried about Lauren for weeks now, and had gone along with her suggestion to wind down for a little while after the hours long rehearsal dinner they had attended tonight.
“It’s almost a full moon,” noted Julia wistfully. “Just a couple of more days. Too bad it hadn’t coincided with the wedding.”
Lauren shrugged. “Better that it doesn’t happen on your wedding day. Enough shit can go wrong tomorrow, you don’t need the extra complication of a full moon to make things crazier.”
Julia frowned. “What makes you think something is going to go wrong tomorrow? Oh, God, please tell me you re-confirmed with everyone like you promised.”
“Relax, would you?” asked Lauren impatiently. “I already told you – three times now – that I confirmed with all the vendors. They all got the message loud and clear – be there on time and don’t screw up or they’ll get a hundred scathing reviews on Yelp.”
Julia blew out a very tense breath. “Sorry if I’m acting a little paranoid. And you’re right – nobody would dare risk pissing you off, so I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”
Lauren winked. “That’s the attitude, baby sis. And you’re even going to have great weather for your big day. It’s supposed to be even warmer than it was today. Considering that it could just as easily have been foggy and cool this time of year, you lucked out big time.”
Julia grinned at her sister. “I’ll bet you arranged for that too, didn’t you?”
“Absolutely,” agreed Lauren. “No way would I allow the weather to be anything less than perfect for your wedding. You deserve it, Jules.”
Julia laid her head back against the Adirondack chair and closed her eyes. “I still can’t believe that by this time tomorrow I’ll be married. You know, as many times as I organized my Barbie doll weddings and designed my own wedding gowns, somehow I never envisioned myself getting married at this point in my life.”
Lauren arched a brow. “That’s not what you said when you were sixteen, and the only thing you could talk about was how much you loved Sam and how the two of you were going to get married as soon as you both graduated from college. You were going to be a football wife while still running your own design firm.”
Julia gave her twin a sheepish look. “God, I forgot about all that. It seems like such a long time ago, you know? Why do we always think our first love is going to be the one that lasts forever?”
Lauren fell unnaturally silent at her sister’s hypothetical question, and merely stared out at the ocean, listening to the steady, soothing rush of the surf as it broke over the rocks. She was quiet for so long that Julia wasn’t sure what startled her more – the fact that Lauren could actually be silent for more than five minutes, or what she said when she finally spoke.
“Sometimes it does,” was all Lauren replied, but those three words spoke volumes as far as Julia was concerned. Her sister was unsmiling, a haunted look in the green eyes that were exactly like Julia’s, and it seemed as though Lauren was a million miles away.
“Are you speaking from personal experience?” asked Julia lightly, trying to cajole her twin out of whatever uncharacteristic funk she’d slipped into.
Lauren remained silent for several more seconds before staring directly at Julia. A wistful look had come over her face.
“Would that be so hard for you to believe, Jules?” she asked with a sad little smile. “That I’d ever really been in love?”
Now it was Julia’s turn to fall silent as she stared at her sister, stunned. “Have you?” she murmured in wonder. Lauren never talked about the men in her life, had never, to the best of Julia’s knowledge, ever brought one home to meet their parents. And as close as they were, despite the natural bond they’d always shared as twins, Julia knew this was the first time that Lauren had ever willingly brought up a subject as taboo as her love life.
Lauren hugged her knees against her chest, her gaze returning to the water as she replied in a slow, almost unnaturally calm manner. “Once. The summer I was twenty. Mom and Dad were on that trip to Scotland and the British Isles, and you were still in New York – must have been the year you interned at Donna Karan. I was staying in Big Sur, as usual, and had the dogs with me.”
“Is that where you met him?”
Lauren nodded, the long fall of her hair partially concealing her face. “Yes. He was visiting the coast, kind of a working vacation. We spent ten days together – the ten best days of my life. I was crazy about him, Jules. Out of my mind crazy in love. I had never believed I could feel that much, especially so quickly.”
“So what happened?” probed Julia gently, sensing instantly there was a great deal more to this story.
Lauren shrugged. “He left. Just took off and left one morning. No note, no good-bye, no attempt to contact me ever again.”
“And he broke your heart.”
Lauren’s head snapped up, her eyes blazing emerald fire. She opened her mouth to protest vehemently before closing it again. Instead, she scrubbed a hand over her nose and mouth, and Julia could have sworn she saw the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes.
“Yeah,” admitted Lauren roughly. “The lousy, lying bastard broke my heart into a million fucking pieces. I was furious when I woke up to find him gone, was all set to chase after him, hunt him down like the dog he was, and kick his ass.”
“You mean you didn’t?” asked Julia teasingly, trying to coax her fearless sister out of her shocking state of pathos.
“No. I had a pretty good idea of where to start looking, too. But instead of chasing after him, I just sort of -” Lauren paused, as if choosing her words carefully, “gave up.”
“Gave up? You?” Julia shook her head. “Uh, uh, I don’t believe that. You’re not the sort to give up – ever. So what really stopped you from going after him?”
Lauren threw up her hands. “Pride, I suppose. It was pretty obvious at that point that he wasn’t anywhere near as crazy about me as I’d thought he was. I’ll give the bastard total props for being a very, very good actor. The whole time we were together I was convinced he was as much in love with me as I was with him – even though neither of us actually came out and said the words.”
“Is that all it was – pride?” asked Julia quietly. “Or was it maybe that broken heart he left you with?”
Lauren closed her eyes, pinching her nose as she rather visibly fought off tears. “It was the only time in my life I ever cried over a man,” she whispered. “And the last time I’ve cried about anything. I swore I’d never let anyone get that close to me again. Instead, if there are hearts to be broken, I’m the one who’s going to do the breaking.”
Julia reached over and tenderly tucked a long strand of hair behind her sister’s ear. “How come I’ve never heard any of this before?” she asked in disbelief. “Six years and you’ve never said a word until now.”
“Who knows?” replied Lauren carelessly. “I mean, you were way on the other side of the country, busy with school and your internship. Plus, you’d gotten involved with that asshole Lucas – the one I knew there was something fishy about – and you were always busy every time we talked. Since then – well, I’ve just tried to forget about it, I guess.”
“But evidently you really haven’t.”
“No.” Lauren took Julia’s hand and squeezed it, a forced smile returning to her features. “But, hey, this isn’t about me right now. Not sure why in hell I felt a need to play True Confessions tonight – guess I’m just feeling a little sentimental since you’re getting married tomorrow. And this should all be about you, Jules. It’s your special day, not mine, so let’s stop rehashing shit that happened a lifetime ago.”
Julia frowned. “It should be about you sometimes, too, Lauren. You spend all of your time looking out for everyone else – me, Angela, Aunt Maddy, all of your crew at work. It’s okay to talk about your own problems sometimes, too.”
Lauren grinned. “Hey, I don’t have problems. I make damned sure of that, you know. I’ve got a great job, an awesome cabin on the coast, the best family anyone could ever ask for. I’m footloose and fancy free, don’t have to answer for my time to anybody else, and can do whatever the hell I please. I’m living a dream, Jules. No worries, no problems.”
“Except for that broken heart that never healed,” mused Julia.
Lauren’s expression shuttered immediately. “Yeah, well, that’s not something I let myself think about too often. Because when I do, I wind up drinking – a lot. And I sure as hell can’t wake up with a hangover tomorrow morning. Mom would be seriously pissed.”
Julia frowned. “You’ve been drinking a lot more this past year or so than I’ve ever remembered you doing. Have you – I mean, do you have any idea where this guy is these days?”
“Of course.” Lauren gave her an odd little smile. “I know exactly where he is, Jules. Have for quite some time now.”
“Oh.” Julia was more than a little taken aback by this revelation. “Who is this guy anyway?”
Lauren shook her head. “You’re a smart girl, Jules, with that Ivy League education. And I’ve given you plenty of clues. If you think real hard you’ll figure it out sooner than later. Now, come on, time for bed, you blushing bride. And if I know that dirty talking, horny bastard you’re marrying he’s planning on doing plenty to make you blush on your wedding night. So get some sleep while you can.”
“Okay.” Julia sighed as she stood and linked arms with her sister as they walked inside the house. “But I want you to promise me that if you ever want to talk some more about this mystery man then I’m all ears. Promise?”
Lauren gave her twin a peck on the cheek. “Promise. But don’t hold your breath. In the meanwhile, I’m a little worried about Aunt Maddy. She and Mom were talking the other day and I could swear it was about some man she used to know. I’ve always been convinced that she’s got this big ole secret love affair in her past. One day soon I’m just going to come out and ask her. After I’ve plied her with a few drinks first, of course.”
Julia grinned, grateful to see that her nosy, interfering sister was back to her usual tricks. “Are you ever going to stop trying to butt into everyone’s lives?”
“Never. After all, that’s what I do best, isn’t it?”
***
July – New York
“Hey, Ben You gotta check this out. Photos of Lauren from her sister’s wedding last month. And get this – hair, heels, makeup and jewelry. Oh, and can’t forget the bouquet. She is so going to get ribbed about this next time she’s in town!”
Ben stopped in his tracks en route to his office as Chris called out to him. Chris had dropped by the office today, even though the team wasn’t due to head out on another assignment for a few more days. As was his norm, Chris was wearing a truly odd assortment of clothing today – Bermuda shorts in an eye-popping plaid, a Mickey Mouse tank top that exposed the tattoos of carton characters on each of his biceps, purple Crocs, and even though it was eighty five and sticky as a honeycomb outside, a knit cap that had been pulled down over his long hair.
But it wasn’t Chris’s odd attire that Ben was gazing at right now. Rather, it was the photo on Chris’s computer monitor that caught and held his attention. In it, Lauren was wearing a long, floaty bridesmaid’s gown of a mint green floral print, and she looked breathtakingly beautiful as well as exquisitely feminine. And he had never wanted her more than he did at this particular moment.
She was alone in the photo, holding her bouquet of pale pink roses and light green hydrangeas. Her long hair fell in thick, tawny curls halfway down her back, and her radiant features had been enhanced with a subtle application of makeup. She was smiling, her green eyes glowing with mischief, and she looked happier than he could remember seeing her in – well, nearly six years.
“How did you get a hold of that photo?” asked Ben. “I can’t believe Lauren voluntarily emailed it to you.”
Chris chuckled. “You got that right. This was actually posted on her Facebook page, and there are dozens more. Aren’t you Facebook friends with Lauren?”
“No.” Ben shook his head. “I don’t think she’d consider me to be any sort of friend to her at the moment.”
There had been numerous occasions over the years when he had been tempted to look her up on social media, to see if there was any information about her online – where she was living, working, if she had a boyfriend. But he’d always resisted the urge, knowing he would weaken far too easily and either try to get in touch with her or, worse, give himself still another reason to pine for her. Not to mention the fact that she would have certainly rejected or blocked any attempt he might have made to friend her on social media.
“She looks happy.”
Chris cocked his head at Ben’s observation. “Well, why wouldn’t she? I mean, weddings are supposed to be happy occasions, and I’m sure Lauren was surrounded by a bunch of family and friends. Besides, I know she can be a grouch and a pain in the ass, but she can also be a hell of a lot of fun. Especially at parties.”
Ben shrugged. “I’m sure she is. It’s just that lately Lauren has seemed – I don’t know – let’s call it out of sorts.”
“Hmm.” Chris continued to study Lauren’s photo. “Now that you mention it, I kind of agree. I mean, the girl’s always a little moody, depends what side of the bed she got up on that day, you know? But you’re right – she’s seemed more irritable than normal these past few months. I’ll have to ask Karl what’s going on there. Though he’s got his own drama going on with Tamsyn right now. Again.”
“I didn’t realize they were having problems,” replied Ben. “They seemed to get along just fine at the holiday party.”
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing,” offered Chris. “Their relationship is like the biggest, twistiest roller coaster ride ever designed. Karl and Tam have been together for almost ten years, and from what he’s told us, it’s been like living in a soap opera. Tam’s hot-tempered, Karl’s feelings get hurt easily, so it doesn’t take much for trouble to brew in paradise. That’s one of the reasons they’ve never lived together, why Karl insists on keeping his own place in Tennessee. Otherwise, he’d need to keep a suitcase packed round the clock. The two of them drive Lauren nuts, especially since both of them wind up crying on her shoulder whenever they have a fight and she keeps getting stuck in the middle.”
Ben nodded. “I can see that. She and Tamsyn seemed pretty close at the holiday party, and it’s obvious that she and Karl always have each other’s backs.”
“Yeah, but even Karl doesn’t know all of Lauren’s deep, dark secrets. She’s selective about what she tells people about herself. If you were to look through her Facebook profile, for example, it gives nothing away. A lot of photos from our assignments over the years, ones of her family, but nothing really personal. Definitely no pictures or posts about boyfriends or stuff like that.” Chris grinned. “She demands to know everything about our lives, is always fussing over us, but she keeps her life outside of work a closely guarded secret.”
“Why do you think that is?” asked Ben curiously.
“Dunno. Karl and I have our theories, of course, though mine are admittedly pretty far fetched – like she’s really a superhero or a spy in disguise, crazy ideas like that. Karl just thinks she had her heart broken once, and that’s why she never talks about her love life. George just figures she’s bossy. And mean.”
“Lauren doesn’t have a truly mean bone in her body,” Ben stated firmly. “And let’s face it, shall we – George really asks for it at times.”
Chris guffawed. “At times? He reminds me of that irritating kid everyone had in their fourth grade class – the one who never acted up, kissed up to the teacher all the time, and got his ass kicked every single day after school. And you’re right – Lauren is really a sweetheart deep down. Underneath that tough chick exterior, she’s got a heart of gold. A heart that I figure got broken pretty badly at one time. That’s why I think she puts on all of this false bravado, so that she can’t be hurt that way again.”
Ben felt the familiar stirrings of guilt at Chris’s all too accurate summation. What Chris didn’t know was that Ben had been the one responsible for breaking Lauren’s heart – and not just once, but two times now. And she had apparently been so intent on keeping up the tough girl image that she projected to the rest of the world, that she had never told those closest to her – sister, parents, friends, co-workers – about that long ago summer in Big Sur.
He wasn’t much of a social media devotee, mostly because he simply didn’t have time for such indulgences, and also because he had so few friends that he cared about keeping in touch with. It had been Levi who’d badgered him into creating a Facebook account a few years ago, and Ben kept his fingers crossed that the log-on and password he typed in now would still work. Luck was with him, and as soon as his profile page loaded he typed Lauren’s name into the Find Friends box.
Moments later he was clicking through the hundreds of photos she had posted there over the years. As Chris had mentioned, most of the pictures were from the assignments she’d been on with the crew – on all seven continents, through all four seasons, on terrain ranging from oceans and mountains to deserts and rainforests. There were photos of a bikini-clad Lauren in snorkel gear, paddling in a kayak, backpacking over majestic mountain passes, riding horses across the plains. In each photo, a smile lit up her face, clearly loving her job and her life, and Ben knew he couldn’t have lived with himself if he’d taken all this from her by staying in Big Sur that morning six years earlier.
He looked through some of her other online photo albums – ones from her high school and college days, of family occasions and holidays, and most recently of her sister’s wedding. It was that particular collection that he lingered over, wistfully wishing that he’d been Lauren’s escort that day, that she had been able to proudly introduce him to all of her family and friends, and that he’d been the one to take her in his arms and dance the night away together.
He grinned at the shot of Lauren catching the bride’s bouquet, the shock on her face clearly visible. Telling himself that he really wasn’t being a stalker or voyeur, Ben copied a dozen or so of his favorite photos to a flash drive, which he would then transfer over to his desktop computer back at the brownstone. He would add them to his already sizeable collection of Lauren photos – the ones that he had never quite been able to make himself delete.
***
Early August – Sausalito, California
“Well, it looks like you’ve been taking good care of my girl here, Manning, so I suppose I don’t have to kick your ass today.”
Nick Manning – all six feet, six inches and two hundred plus pounds of him – glared at the tawny haired woman who was more than a foot shorter and weighed over a hundred pounds less than he did. Not for the world would the former pro football player admit that Lauren’s wary approval made him feel a bit more at ease in her rather intimidating presence.
“Yeah, lucky me,” Nick drawled sarcastically. “And Angela is my girl.”
Lauren flicked her fingers against his temple, smirking when he flinched at the sharp pain. “Took you long enough to admit it, you jackass. And after all the hell you put her through for the past few years, I hope you have a game plan all set out for how you’re going to make it up to her.”
“Lauren,” admonished Angela gently, shaking her dark head. “Don’t, okay? I don’t want to think about the past right now, just enjoy the present. Especially since – well, you know.”
“I get it.” Lauren squeezed her best friend’s hand reassuringly. “And I’ll play nice so long as Nick does, too.”
Nick was saved from having to dream up a polite response by the buzzing of his cell phone. He grimaced as he saw the caller ID. “Sorry, Angel,” he told Angela regretfully, using the pet name that only he called her. “It’s Hayden Carmichael, probably calling from the French Riviera or wherever he’s sailing his yacht today. I’d better take this.”
“It’s okay,” Angela assured him, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before walking back inside the house to take the call.
“I assume that’s the Hayden Carmichael he’s talking to?” inquired Lauren. “The filthy rich media mogul?”
Angela nodded. “One and the same. Nick went to Stanford with Hayden’s oldest son, and he’s been one of Nick’s best clients for years. And one of the very few people he drops most anything to take a call from.”
Lauren refilled her coffee mug from the thermal carafe resting in the middle of the table, before adding copious amounts of cream and sugar to it. She held the carafe up to Angela, who shook her head.
“Well,” mused Lauren, “I guess if I had a client who was considered one of the twenty wealthiest men in the world that I would drop whatever I was doing to talk to him, too.” She eyed the basket of assorted muffins, croissants, and pastries that she had brought over earlier this morning. “Do you have dibs on that cheese danish by any chance?”
Angela smiled. “No, it’s got your name on it. And before you ask, Nick never eats that stuff. In fact, he’ll probably make you take it all back with you when you leave.”
Lauren shook her head as she reached for the coveted pastry. “No can do, Angie. I fly back to the Big Apple tomorrow. On a red-eye, of course, with a connection in St. Louis. So that means you’ve got to eat all this yummy stuff by yourself.”
Angela made a little face at the lavish assortment of breakfast treats. “You know, I have gained quite a bit of weight back. Everyone doesn’t have to try and force feed me any longer.”
Lauren eyed her tall, slim friend critically. “Ten more pounds. Then you’ll do. Then you’ll look the way you did that first day you told me about Nick. Well, sort of told me.”
The day she referred to had happened almost five years ago, when Angela had been seeing Nick for a few months already – during their first go-round, anyway. Lauren had been astonished to see her friend looking so happy and healthy and so beautifully dressed. It had been obvious that a new man in her life had been responsible for all those changes, but Angela had been maddeningly closed-mouthed about any details. She had been with her mystery lover for almost a year when he had decided she’d grown too close, had fallen in love with him, and he had broken things off with an abruptness and a finality that had shattered Angela emotionally and physically.
For a long time afterwards, she had been a shell of her former self – skinny nearly to the point of emaciation; withdrawn, moody, lifeless, joyless. Lauren and Julia had despaired of ever getting her back to normal, of her ever being happy again.
And then Nick had re-entered her life a few months ago, leaving the failing stock brokerage firm where he and Angela had first met, and joining her current firm. And it had been his presence in her life again – no matter how infuriating it had been – that had made her feel truly alive once more. But she had resisted his attempts to lure her back into his life, refusing to let him manipulate and control her as he had in the past, and Nick had been too set in his domineering ways to meet her halfway. At least until the accident.
Angela had suffered what could have been a fatal head injury during a trail race she’d participated in less than two weeks ago. After an argument with Nick two nights prior to the race, coupled with the sudden onset of heat stroke, she had been distracted and dizzy when she’d stubbed her toe on a rock and fallen hard. Only the quick actions of the paramedics on site, and subsequently the doctors in the emergency room, had ensured that the subdural hematoma she’d suffered hadn’t been far more serious.
But as tragic as the accident could have been, it had also had two very positive outcomes. For one, it had helped mend some long damaged fences with her parents and older sisters; and, more importantly, it had made Nick realize just how much his Angel meant to him.
They were together now, though exactly what that meant Lauren didn’t know for sure. But Angela was comfortably ensconced at Nick’s jaw-droppingly beautiful waterfront home in Sausalito, and it looked like she was planning to stay put for some time to come. Nick had even hired a nurse to look after her upon her release from the hospital, though Angela had insisted she was perfectly all right now. The nurse had been dismissed two days ago, and Angela was determined to return to work on Monday.
Angela rolled her eyes at Lauren’s last remark. “Between you and Nick – that’s exactly what he said, too. Ten more pounds. And the way he’s been stuffing food down my throat this past week I’m shocked that I haven’t already gained twenty.”
Lauren smiled. “Let the man fuss over you, hmm? He does have an awful lot to make up for, you know. Though it seems he’s already made a lot of progress towards that goal.”
“Nick’s been great,” Angela agreed wistfully. “Showering me with attention, making sure I don’t overdo. He’s either cooked dinner or brought takeout every night that I’ve been here. And, well, speaking of that – he wants me to move in here with him permanently.”
Lauren’s eyes widened in shock. “Are you shitting me? Jeez, when that dude makes up his mind about something he does not screw around, does he? I mean, when you were seeing him before you didn’t even know what city he lived in, and now he wants you to move in? Angie, you should have fallen and hit your head a long time ago if this is the way he’s reacting.”
“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Angela replied drolly. “But you’re right. Nick seems determined to make up for lost time. I’ve even met his mother – well, on the phone at least. Did you realize his mom is Sheena Sumner, the actress?”
For the second time in less than a minute, Lauren’s jaw hung open in surprise. “No ‘effin way! That woman gave birth to someone like Nick? I mean, no offense, but almost every role I’ve seen Sheena Sumner in she was playing the ditzy blonde in some comedy. And, well, Nick doesn’t really seem like he laughs much, you know?”
“It’s a long story, most of which I’m still learning as we go along,” admitted Angela. “But Nick invited his mother out here for a visit, and I think she’ll be up sometime next month. He’s – well, we’ve both had issues with our families in the past, but I think it’s time to try and change that. Though maybe not so much with his father.”
“I’m really happy for you, Angie,” Lauren told her quietly, giving her hand another squeeze. “You deserve it, especially after all those years of being miserable. And – I swear I never, ever thought I’d be saying this after the hell Nick put you through – I think you should move in with him. Both of you have been alone way too much.”
Angela nodded. “That’s how I feel, too. And it’s actually good timing, since the lease on my flat is up in October. And with Julia moving out of her flat in January, I’ve been thinking about making a change anyway.”
“Hmm. You and Jules both moving out of San Francisco at nearly the same time,” lamented Lauren. “Guess I’ll have to find another place to crash when I’m in town.”
“I’m sure Nick wouldn’t mind if you stayed here,” assured Angela. “It’s a pretty big place as you can see.”
Lauren shrugged. “We’ll see. I don’t want to intrude on you lovebirds. That’s why I only stay at Julia’s place when she and Nathan are at his condo. Or out of town like they are this weekend.”
Her sister and brand new brother-in-law had flown out to Michigan a couple of days ago for an extra-long weekend to see Nathan’s family and celebrate his younger brother’s birthday.
“Doesn’t Nathan have two bedrooms at his condo?”
Lauren wrinkled her nose at Angela’s question. “Yeah, that’s not the issue. What is the problem is that those two are damned noisy in the sack. Jesus, it’s like having a real life porn flick being filmed in the next room.”
Angela laughed. “What’s the matter? Are you suddenly turning into a prude?”
Lauren didn’t reply for long seconds, merely sipping her coffee and gazing out at the million dollar view of the bay from Nick’s back deck. When she did speak, her voice was soft and uncharacteristically somber. “Maybe I just don’t want a constant reminder that everyone else I know seems to have someone special in their life and I don’t.”
Over the course of six weeks or so, it had felt like everyone she knew was pairing up in one way or another. Julia and Nathan had been married at the end of June; a couple of weeks later Chris’s girlfriend Mindy had moved in with him; Ian Gregson and his “forbidden love” Tessa were officially a couple, and had been since her divorce a few months ago; now Angela and Nick were finally back together, and just last night Lauren had received a phone call from Karl that still had her reeling.
Tamsyn, it seemed, was pregnant, and it had been one of her hormonal outbursts that had caused their most recent break-up. But now they were not only back together but married as well – having done so in a simple ceremony at the local courthouse, with only their parents and siblings in attendance.
And as if all that wasn’t enough, Karl had dropped an even bigger bombshell on her.
“When my contract is up at the end of the year, I won’t be renewing it,” he’d confided. “No one else knows yet, not even Ben or Chris, so keep a lid on it until I can break the news. It’s just that with a baby coming, I feel like I want to be here, you know? To help take care of Tam and the kid, and not miss any milestones. I don’t want to be clear on the other side of the world on an assignment when my kid says its first word or takes its first step. And maybe this will finally be the motivation I need to write that book I’ve never managed to finish.”
Lauren had been alternately thrilled for Karl and Tamsyn, and left feeling a little lost at the knowledge he wouldn’t be part of her crew any longer. He had always been like a big brother to her, someone to bounce ideas off of, and they had always had each other’s backs. Even if she had never seen fit to confide in him about Ben.
Angela frowned. “Lauren – that’s crazy. You could have almost any guy you wanted, anytime you wanted. You don’t ever have to be alone. Unless, of course, there’s one particular man you’ve got your eye on and he’s not interested? Which, of course, would make him a complete moron.”
Lauren shook her head. “Forget I said anything, okay? Once in awhile I just get into a little funk and start thinking out loud a little too much. Nothing a night out on the town won’t cure. It is Saturday, after all, so I figure I’ll hit a few clubs, do a few rounds of shooters.”
“Alone?” asked Angela, frowning.
“Hmm. Well, I’m just guessing your man won’t let you go with me, especially since you’re supposed to be in recovery mode. And with Julia out of town – not to mention still in the honeymoon phase with ole Lover Boy – guess I’ll have to go with Plan C – C as in Courtney.”
Angela looked horror stricken. “Not the same Courtney who works in Julia’s office? The one with the green hair who might be the only person in the world who can out drink you?”
“Hey,” objected Lauren. “She might have managed one more shot than I did at Julia’s bachelorette party, but she also passed out cold right after – meaning that I can sure as hell hold my liquor a lot better than she can. And I think her hair is platinum blonde now. Whatever color it is, she’s always good for a few laughs.”
Angela rested a hand on her best friend’s forearm, her dark brown eyes filled with concern. “Are you sure you’re okay? Julia is worried about you, too, you know. When she visited me here a few days ago, she thought the same thing I did – that you were pining over some guy. Why won’t you talk to us about him, Lauren? I mean, if you can’t confide in your twin sister or your best friend, who can you talk to?”
Lauren waved a hand in stubborn dismissal. “I’m not pining over anyone, Angie. Pining is not my style, as you know. And there’s nothing wrong, I promise. Just some stuff I’m working through – on my own, okay?”
Angela glared. “How come you’re always butting into everyone else’s life, demanding answers and bossing us around, but when we try and do the same to you, it’s like pulling teeth to get anything out of you?”
Lauren grinned. “Because that’s what I do, Angie. I boss people around, give them lots of unsolicited advice, and make sure that they’re happy.”
“But who looks out for you, Lauren?” asked Angela sadly. “When will it be your turn to finally be happy? You deserve it more than anyone else I know.”
Lauren pasted a bright smile on her face, one she hoped didn’t look as forced as it felt. “Hey, I’m always happy, you know that. No bad times allowed for Lauren McKinnon. As for all that happily ever after crap – it’s enough for me that you and Julia have found your true loves. Not everyone can live in a fairy tale world, Angie.”
“Lauren - ” Angela began to object until Lauren held up a hand to silence her.
“No more today, okay?” pleaded Lauren. “It’s bad enough I’ve got to fly back to New York tomorrow night, and that the last time I checked the weather report it was supposed to be something like a hundred and forty degrees with three hundred percent humidity. So instead of moping about how I haven’t found my Prince Charming yet, why don’t you help me strategize on how to challenge Courtney to a rematch of our drinking contest and kick her skinny ass this time?”