Something’s Up
Emrys
At first, I was rooted to the spot in shock when his lips landed on mine. I wanted to talk to him, needed to say what I’d come all this way to say, but kissing him wasn’t a terrible way to get distracted from that.
No, it wasn’t a bad way to spend time at all.
He kissed like he did everything else, a little angry and a lot forceful. There was roughness there that didn’t surprise me, but there was also a hint of anguish that did. He kissed me like he had to. He kissed me like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. He kissed me like it mattered. He was an entirely different man than the one who had been in and out of consciousness this last week. That man had craved comfort, leaned into my touch and let me take care of him, even though he was so delirious he had no idea I was there. This man was in control, knew exactly what he was doing and was all about giving instead of taking. There was no comfort here. It was nothing but pure, unadulterated heat and want. This man was the one I’d watched slip away as he fought until his last breath to protect me.
His hand slid around the side of my neck so he was cupping my pulse against his palm and using his thumb to tilt my chin up so he had the perfect angle to devour me. His other hand stayed on my chest, fingers grazing my scars and tracing my collarbone. The contact and warmth of his touch made me shiver and made my knees go weak and watery. I curled my hands in the fabric of his t-shirt and held on as desire started to unfurl low in my belly. I’d had fantasies about what kissing a real cowboy would be like, ones spurred on by reading of a hefty amount of romance novels. Sutton lived up to every expectation I had and then some. If kissing a cowboy meant I would forget my own name and lose track of where I was, then I never wanted to kiss anyone who wasn’t a cowboy again.
I felt the nip of his teeth and the slick slide of his tongue against the seam of my lips. The seductive glide forced me to my mouth on a soft puff of air as he used the pressure under my chin to tilt my head back even farther. He took a step closer to me and I felt the heat of his body burn into mine. He was all hard angles and solid muscle. He may have lost some of his bulk during his crash and burn, but he was still tall and broad. There was a lot of him pressing into me and all of it was solid and strong. There was no give on any part of his body, not even on his lips as they pressed harder into mine. He didn’t seem to have any trouble holding both of us up and I leaned into him, giving him more of my weight as my legs went liquid when his tongue brushed against mine. This position put the erection that was straining at the cotton of his sweats right at the notch between my thighs. The friction against that thick flesh had the memory of how sexy he’d looked wet and spent in the shower. When I’d come face to face with his cock, it had been all I could do not to stick my tongue out and lick the wide head.
A cock was a cock, but I liked the look of Sutton’s more than most. I was particularly charmed by the fact that he seemed genuinely surprised by his reaction to me. I’d spent my adult life being told by men that I made them hard, that they wanted me and desired me. And while there was no denying Sutton and I had chemistry in spades, he never even hinted that he was affected by me, that he was drawn to me. The fact he couldn’t hide his attraction to me seemed to shock him, but he wasn’t embarrassed by it. Nope, he was grinding that stiff flesh into my softness, leaving no doubt that if things were different, he could do more than make me dizzy and my knees weak. I wanted him inside of me. I wanted him to fill up all the places that had been left cold and dark when he told me to leave. I wanted to know what it felt like to get close to this man who was so skilled at keeping everyone at arm’s length.
The hand that was caressing my chest skipped over the swell of my breast, the back of his fingers lingering long enough to brush over my rigid nipple. The contact made me moan against his mouth and wantonly pushing my chest out. It was far more than I ever thought I was going to get from him, but it wasn’t nearly enough. His fingers stopped to rest on the curve of my hip, his thumb finding its way under the hem of my tank top so that it could rub soft circles on the skin above the band of my jeans. The gentle touch had my body clenching and throbbing in an almost painful way. My thighs quivered and I could feel my body heating up and going soft. When I shifted my legs to find relief, I could feel how wet and needy Sutton’s kiss was making me.
His tongue swirled against mine. Tasting. Taking. Leaving behind his distinct flavor and a longing that made my breasts feel heavy and my heart pound erratically. I circled an arm around his neck, fingers disappearing into his soft hair. The golden-colored strands were soft and silky in my hands. I was right about his hair looking better than mine when he finally washed it. The style wouldn’t work on a lot of men, but on Sutton the shaggy, wavy locks added to his wild and rugged appeal. He looked like a man who couldn’t be bothered to worry how his hair looked, and I liked that about him. I liked that he had things on his mind other than his appearance. So much of my life before I’d been attacked had been focused on how I looked and how my looks made my life easier. Afterwards, I realized how superficial it all was, how I needed to have something else to bank on. I was done coasting and it had taken a tragedy to make me finally shift gears out of neutral.
His teeth dragged across my bottom lip, taking a moment to dig in before he soothed the sting of the bite with the stroke of his tongue. There was an edge to this kiss, something in it that was different from any other kiss I’d ever had. It was a kiss that would linger long after the man who was delivering it was gone. It was a kiss that I would compare all other kisses to, and sadly, I knew I would find the others lacking. No one kissed like Sutton Warner. No one had the intensity and deliberate dedication to explore every nook and cranny of my mouth. Not a single damp crevasse was left untouched, and when he pulled back we were both panting, our eyes glazed and our faces flushed.
The hand he had resting on my hip moved so that his fingers skated over my stomach. He paused when he encountered the rest of the scars that were hidden there. The wild light in his eyes, the glow of desire that made the green go dark, faded and he took a step back, forcing my hands to drop from where they were still holding him tight. He ran a hand over his face. His fingers still on the lines that were lifted and raised on top of my flesh.
“Doesn’t seem very fair.” His voice had dropped so low I could barely hear him and the look in his eyes told me he was drifting away, disappearing, even though he was standing right in front of me.
“What doesn’t seem fair?” I wanted to reach for him. I wanted to offer my mouth up again and start pulling off clothes. I wanted to touch his scar the way he was touching mine. I wanted to put my mouth on it and try and replace the bad memories with ones that were far more pleasurable, but he took another step back, severing our connection and leaving me cold where a moment ago I felt like everything inside of me was on fire and burning out of control.
He shoved his hands through his hair and moved across the large kitchen so that he could prop himself against the counter next to his abandoned sandwich. “It’s not fair that after everything you went through, you ended up with more scars than I did.”
I swallowed, hard, and wrapped my arms around myself. I stared at him unblinkingly and whispered, “You almost died. What happened to me was terrible and scary, but it was nothing compared to the fear I felt when I realized you had been shot. I watched the light go out of your eyes. I felt you stop breathing. You went cold, but all the blood you lost was so warm. It wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop it. These scars are nothing compared to yours.” I waved a hand to indicate his rumpled appearance and gaunt, recovering frame. “And I think we both know you have twice as many scars on the inside as you do on the outside. People can’t see the marks that were cut into you the deepest. Your soul looks a lot worse than my stomach does, Sutton.”
It was only a fraction of the things I wanted to say to him, but I wouldn’t get the chance to get into the rest, because just as I was opening my mouth to tell him how sorry I was for everything, Brynn burst into the room, arms full of grocery bags and an unexpected guest hot on her heels.
Rodie also had his arms full of grocery bags, which he promptly deposited on the counter next to Sutton. The sheriff gave his friend a once-over, eyebrows lifting at the flush on Sutton’s face. “Glad to see you’ve decided to come back to the land of the living. You look better than you have in months.”
Sutton grunted and took the bottle of water Brynn offered him as she started unloading the groceries. “Rodie was pulling up to the gate when I got home. He mentioned that he wanted to talk to you. I wasn’t sure if you were going to be up for visitors yet, but I’m so happy to see you’re up and around. You really had all of us worried, Sutton.”
He narrowed his eyes at the chipper redhead and didn’t say anything. I decided to change the subject before he could drag the mood in the room down. “How was your coffee date?”
Brynn blushed prettily and reached up to push some of her fiery hair off her forehead. Her gaze danced nervously between the two men who were now watching her with open curiosity. I could have kicked myself for not picking a less personal subject to steer the conversation toward.
“It was fine. He’s very nice.” She lifted a shoulder in a shrug and let it fall. “He’s from Texas so he doesn’t know about my mom and everything that went down with Boyd. He doesn’t think I’m a gold digger or a homewrecker, so it’s easy to spend time with him. I’m not constantly wondering what gossip he’s heard about me or if he only wants to spend time with me because he thinks I’m a sure bet.”
Both the sheriff and Sutton scowled at the young woman. “If anyone says that shit to you, you let me know. Your business is your business. No one else needs to be sticking their noses in it.” Rodie nodded in agreement at Sutton’s proclamation but didn’t argue that people tended to talk even when they didn’t have anything important to say.
Brynn sighed and moved toward the groceries. “People always talk. I’m used to it. I know what happened and I know what would have happened to me if Boyd hadn’t stepped in the way he did. I don’t regret the choices I had to make. I’d do it all over the exact same way if I had to.” She hefted a bag off the counter and gave Rodie a questioning look. “I need to start dinner. We have two big groups of guests I need to feed. Can I have my kitchen back?”
The sheriff nodded and hid a grin. “Sure thing.” He inclined his head in Sutton’s direction. “I need to talk to you for a minute.”
I asked Brynn if she needed any help and she waved me away, telling me the prep work helped her relax. I was headed in the direction Sutton and Rodie disappeared when Brynn’s soft question stopped me in my tracks. “Did you see the blonde woman who was with the group Lane rode out with this morning?”
Surprised, I dipped my chin down in a slight nod. “I did. She was kind of hard to miss.” At least her boobs had been with the way she was poured into her Western Barbie outfit.
Brynn muttered something I didn’t catch and moved to tuck her long hair behind her ears. “She’s his type. He likes flashy and temporary.”
“She’s a lot of men’s type.” It was the truth, but I didn’t think that was the case with Lane. I was pretty sure his type was the natural beauty who was standing directly in front of me. “But not all men. You can’t blame him for looking at everything she’s putting on display. She does it to get a reaction.”
Brynn sighed again. “I guess that’s true.” She gave herself a little shake and forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll see you at dinner. It’ll be nice to have Sutton at the table with all of us again. It’s been too long. We all missed having him around.”
I hummed a noncommittal response and slid out of the room. Sutton was shaking hands with Rodie at the doorway and promising him he would call if he heard anything. There was a deep furrow in his brow and tight lines around his mouth when he shut the door and caught sight of me. I still wanted to talk to him, to clear the air, but now was obviously not the time.
“What was that all about?” The question was out before I could consider whether it was my place to ask. After all, I was just a guest here, one he had kissed the hell out of a few moments ago, but still. I had no claim on him.
“Alexa hasn’t shown up for work the last two days. She’s an alcoholic so that isn’t entirely unusual, but no one has seen her or heard from her since we kicked her off the ranch. Burke hasn’t even seen her.” I didn’t know who Burke was and my confusion must have shown on my face. He swore under his breath and put his hands on his hips. “Burke runs the Big Horn, the bar you found me in the night you got to town. If you’re an alcoholic, Burke tends to be your best friend. He serves you just enough and makes sure you don’t drive home drunk. Alexa usually spends her lunch hour at the bar. So, if he hasn’t seen her, then something is up. Rodie went by her apartment and said no one opened the door. He wanted to know if I’ve seen or heard from her, and if she’s tried to contact Daye.” He shook his head. “Alexa and I don’t talk. Not that I was in any shape to deal with her the last few days.”
“What are you going to do?” I didn’t like the idea that he was still somehow responsible for the awful woman who had threatened him when he was vulnerable. It didn’t seem fair that he was worried about a woman who was determined to make his life more difficult, but it was sweet.
“Give her a call. If she doesn’t answer, I’ll ask Cy to stop by her place on his way home and check things out. It’s probably nothing. She’s been known to black out for extended periods of time. She also likes to drink and drive, so maybe she got picked up in another county. She’s not exactly reliable.” He said it with bite, but I heard the faint hint of concern underlying the aggravation in his tone.
I wanted to reach out and touch him but he was shutting down and closing himself off from me. He’d open the door and let me sneak inside for just a minute. Now he was slamming it in my face.
I curled my hands into fists at my sides and told him, “We still need to have that talk, Sutton.”
He stepped around me, muttering over his shoulder, “I can think of a thousand better things to do with that mouth of yours than talk, Em.”
He was gone before I could come up with a retort.
The sad thing was, I would happily let him do a thousand dirty things to my mouth without complaint. But it hurt to know that he only wanted to do them so he could distract me. He was doing everything in his power to prevent the conversation we had to have. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say and I felt like I was choking on the words the longer I had to hold them back.
The stubborn cowboy spun me in circles, and as frustrating as that was, at least I was finally getting somewhere. I wasn’t going anywhere until we hashed out our history, and I was absolutely going to tell him that his kisses were never going to scare me away. If anything, they made me more determined than ever to stick around and see this thing through to the bitter end.