The rest of the night was awkward and tense. When I came back inside, I found Gage sitting beside his grandmother on the whole other side of the table. The only empty seat was beside Macey on the opposite side. I tried not to show how hurt I felt, with him far away from me and clearly ignoring me.
Thankfully, though, no one thought anything was different between us. Everyone talked like normal as we ate our desserts. I did try to engage in conversation, but my head was a mess. I just kept replaying what Gage had said to me outside. I was so confused as to why he suddenly got so angry at me. I kept telling myself to let him cool off a bit and things would be back to normal.
It wasn’t long after we finished eating that Gage stood up and announced they were leaving. My head snapped in his direction and I watched Rose even look at him in surprise. It was nearing six, but it wasn’t that late for them to be leaving.
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Miller, for having my grandmother and me. The food was amazing,” Gage said politely. To others he probably seemed normal and even nice, but I knew him. I knew that he was putting on an act
“Leaving so soon?” my mom asked standing up, looking between Gage and his grandmother. I watched as Rose looked at her grandson for a minute before she stood up and sent my mother a small smile.
“Sadly I have to go home and feed my cat. When she is home all day alone, she gets so grumpy.” She laughed. “Thank you for inviting us. Most fun I have had in years.” As Rose moved around the table to say goodbye to my mom, I stood up. I had no clue what was going on. While they both said goodbyes to my family, I stood there, still.
“I-I’ll show you guys out,” I said quietly as they finished with their goodbyes. Ignoring my mother’s questioning look, I turned and led Rose and Gage to the front door. Gage stayed a good way behind me as his grandmother walked beside me. From the corner of my eye I could see her sending me looks.
Opening the front door, I turned to Rose.
“Thank you for coming. I hope you had a good time.” My voice sounded weird to my own ears.
“Thank you for inviting us, dear.” Rose pulled me into a tight hug.
“I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry,” she whispered in my ear, surprising me. Not knowing what to say, I nodded as she pulled away. Sending me an encouraging smile, she walked out the front door, leaving Gage and I standing there.
“Gage, I—” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“Don’t, Carter.” The way he said my name made me stop. It was very rare he ever called me by my real name. “Just…just don’t.” Not even glancing at me, he brushed past me and out the door.
I watched after him, feeling my heart break. The fact that he didn’t even look at me or let me talk, hurt. I didn’t do anything and yet he couldn’t even look me in the eye! I bit down on my bottom lip as I felt tears forming. This was not how this day was supposed to be. It wasn’t supposed to end in a screaming match between us or with him leaving without saying a word to me.
I stood there frozen as they backed out and drove away. It felt like the further away the car went, the further Gage went out of my life. This was just a fight, nothing serious. Tonight, Gage would call me, apologizing and everything would go back to normal. It had to.
Shutting the door, I leaned against it gulping. I couldn’t cry, I just couldn’t. Not when my family was in the kitchen. I had to act as if nothing was wrong because I didn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving for everyone else. Catching my breath, I pushed off the door and headed back to the kitchen to my family.
***
It wasn’t until eight or so that everyone else started to leave. It was getting late and the kids needed to go home and get ready for bed. I was thankful that everyone was finally leaving because I just wanted to go up to my room and possibly cry myself to sleep.
I was trying hard to act normal, but I was pretty sure everyone knew something was up with me. I kept myself busy with helping clean up dinner and putting it all away, but that didn’t help. I kept seeing Gage walking away from me.
Neena, Liam, and the two boys left first. When Aunt Kay, Nick, and Elizabeth were about to leave, Macey insisted on staying here tonight. She promised her parents she would come over tomorrow, but I thought she wanted to stay the night and see what was wrong. A part of me wanted her to go so I could be alone, but if it had to be anyone I wanted to talk to, it was Mace.
Thankfully, everything was cleaned up as they left, so we could go upstairs and be alone. It was early, but I wasn’t in the mood to try and act okay anymore. Knowing my father, he would ask a ton of questions then threaten to kill Gage for me.
“Honey, are you okay?” my mom asked as we all stood there. Macey was right next to me like she was my guard. Luke, Ethan, and my dad stood in front of us and at my mom’s words, they looked at me.
“I’m fine.” But it didn’t sound too convincing. “I am actually going to go shower and go to bed. I’m not feeling too good.” It wasn’t entirely a lie.
“Are you sure you are okay?” She looked concerned, but I could tell she wanted to ask more, but with the boys in the room, she knew better.
“I’m good. Thank you for dinner, Mom. It was great.” I hugged her and kissed her cheek. Hugging my dad and sending Ethan and Luke a small smile, I turned and headed for the stairs, Macey right on my heels.
I had to force myself not to run to my room. Now that I was alone, it was like the walls were closing in on me. I was gasping and trying to breathe as I stood in the middle of the room. I briefly heard the door close behind me. Tears escaped my eyes and ran down my face.
“Carter?” Macey asked, coming toward me. “Carter?” When she moved in front of me, I lost it. I let out a loud sob and clenched my middle. Macey’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me to her. Holding onto her small body, I finally let myself break down.
Macey let me cry against her for who knew how long. The tears wouldn’t seem to stop. I didn’t know why I was so upset when it was only a fight. Couples fought all the time and they were fine after a few hours. Gage just needed a little bit to cool down; that’s all.
I didn’t know how long it was until I stopped crying. My eyes were bloodshot and swollen, my cheeks stained with tears and a bit of my makeup. I knew I looked like a complete mess. Mace helped me to my bed and sat beside me as I hiccupped.
“Babe, what happened?” Her voice was soft.
“Gage and I had a huge fight,” I said, my voice coming out all hoarse and dry.
“A fight? About what?”
“After the football game, Gage pulled me aside and accused me of still liking Ethan and having something going on with him.” I tried to remember exactly what Gage said to me, but it was like a fog had been placed over my mind. I was so emotional I couldn’t really remember anything at the moment.
“What did you tell him?”
“I-I said I didn’t have to answer him because he should know already. I felt so hurt by his words that I just starting yelling back at him.”
“Oh, babe, that wasn’t a smart decision.”
“What?” I looked over at her, confused. She placed a hand on my knee and sent me a small smile.
“Car, you not answering just made it all worse.”
“How?” I sat up a bit straighter.
“It sounds like Gage is afraid that you will one day leave him to be with Ethan. He knows you use to like him, or that you still do, and that scares him. You not answering just further scared him into thinking he is going to lose you.” At her words, I shot right up.
“Oh God, what if I am the cause of this?” I played with my fingers as I started to pace my room. “I don’t want to lose Gage, Macey. This was all just a stupid misunderstanding anyway!”
“Carter—”
“Mace, what if Gage decides to break up with me? I can’t handle that!”
“Carter!” Her yell made my stop in my tracks. “Do you like him?”
“Gage? Of course I do!”
“Not Gage. Ethan. Are you still in love with Ethan?” I didn’t even hesitate when I answered.
“No.” My own words made me pause. My answer came so firm and fast that it surprised me. But my answer was the truth. I didn’t like Ethan anymore. If you would have asked me a month ago, I probably would have said yes.
Ever since I met Gage I had thought less and less of Ethan. He didn’t cross my mind every night, nor did I get that nervous feeling just even talking about him. Ethan had been pushed into a small corner of my mind that I had completely forgotten about.
For years I had always thought one day I would end up with Ethan. He would find out about my feelings and return them. We would end up dating and falling in love all throughout college and afterwards, he would propose to me. We would end up getting married on the beach or something, and afterwards have two or three kids. We would be a perfect family. That was the picture and future I always imagined.
But now that picture had changed. I didn’t see myself ending up with Ethan. I didn’t see a huge happy ending for us that would end with kids and a happy life. I wasn’t entirely sure who the person in the picture was at the moment, but I could see it being Gage.
Gage, the one who actually seemed to care about me. Who stood up for me when we all got jumped at the gym a month back. The guy who could deny that he liked me when we first met. Gage, the guy who people warned me about and who rumors said was a womanizer with no heart.
That was not the guy I had come to know. No, he was thoughtful, sweet, kind, smart, and funny. He was someone I never thought I would come to like, but he was everything I had been searching for. What I thought I wanted with Ethan was not what I truly wanted anymore.
It was not until I thought about it that I realized that Ethan was not the person I really liked. He was just something I thought I needed but didn’t. Ethan was always there in my childhood and all through my high school years. So it made sense that I would eventually fall for him. Fall for his good looks, his personality, the way he was nice to me when others weren’t.
Ethan was always a constant in my life, like air. I thought I needed him in order to survive, but really, I didn’t. These last few months I hadn’t even thought about him, hadn’t even cared that I hadn’t seen him in days. I was busy with my life and so was he. I used to freak when I didn’t see him daily, but now seeing him every three to four days was fine.
“Are you sure you don’t?” Macey asked again, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“I didn’t realize it until now, but I am sure. I don’t feel the same about Ethan anymore.” For some reason, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt freer in a way I couldn’t explain.
“Oh god, Mace! I need to call Gage right now and tell him that!” My head snapped in every direction, trying to find my cellphone to call him. He had to know the truth.
“Carter, no.” Mace stepped in front of me blocking my path. “You need to let Gage cool down. If you call him right now, while he is still mad, he may not even listen to you. You are too emotional right now anyway. You both need to cool down before talking.”
“But, Mace—”
“Your feelings will still be the same tomorrow morning. Let him sleep on it and cool down before calling him. Give him a day,” she reasoned. As much as I wanted to grab my phone and call him, I knew she was right. Gage was beyond pissed, so talking to him right now might not be a good idea.
“Fine.” I sighed. Today had been one hell of a day. I went from one emotion to the next, like a roller coaster.
“Does this mean my best friend is finally over her first love?”
“I guess it does.”
***
That night I didn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, my mind too much of a mess to sleep. All I could think about was Gage and him pushing me away. My worst fear was that he wanted to break up. We were barely getting to the good part. We were starting to become comfortable around one another, and for the first time I felt like this could last. It all couldn’t end because of something so stupid.
When it was finally six in the morning, I decided I needed to get up and do something. I knew my parents weren’t up just yet, and I knew for a fact Luke and Ethan wouldn’t be up for hours. I didn’t want to lay in bed any longer because if I did, I would drive myself crazy.
Deciding on doing the one thing I never did, I grabbed some clothes to go for a run. Maybe it would clear my head and let me think about something else for just a moment. I rarely ran, but I was hoping it would help me right now.
Not wanting to wake an angry Macey, I got changed in the bathroom before quietly leaving the room. Thank the Lord I kept clothes in my old room for times like this. The house was silent as I snuck down the stairs. I tried to keep my footsteps quiet as I made my way to the back door. Opening the front would be too loud.
Once I was successful in leaving the house and out the side gate, I started to jog down the road. Since we lived in a neighborhood I didn’t have worry about cars, and it was too early for some to be awake. Most were probably still asleep after eating so much yesterday.
My feet pounded the pavement as I jogged. The air was cold as it nipped my face, and I was glad I threw on a thin jacket. With every step I took, my mind flashed to Gage. I went from when we first met on the second day Macey and I were on campus, to me running into him and him yelling at me. My mind flashed to when I saw Gage fight the very first time.
It was like a sequence as I ran. I went through every memory Gage and I had together until I finally reached what happened last night. By the time I got to the fight we had, my legs were carrying me fast across the pavement. My breathing was coming out in gasps and my lungs were burning, but I couldn’t find the will to stop running. My legs were burning, and I knew if I didn’t stop, I would get a cramp, but that didn’t stop me. It was almost like I was asking for more pain the faster I ran.
I finally had to force myself to stop running. I came to a stop, breathing heavily and clenching my sides. I felt like my lungs were going to burst as I gulped in air. I wasn’t sure how far I had gone, and to be honest, I didn’t feel any different.
When I finally caught my breath, I looked around. I was in another neighborhood that wasn’t too far from my house, but far enough to let me know I ran quite a bit. Turning around, I started to slowly walk back. I could run back home, but walking would help me stay out here a bit longer.
The walk back to my house didn’t last as long as I would have hoped. Before I knew it, I was standing at the front door. I was pretty sure my parents were up by now. I didn’t want to talk to my dad about any of this because he would just make it even worse with his threatening. He did mean well, but I didn’t want Gage hurt.
Instead of going through the probably locked front door, I went back around the side gate and through the back door. My back was faced to the kitchen as I tried to shut the door as quietly as I could.
“Where did you go?” a voice asked from nowhere, making me jump and almost scream. Holding a hand to my heart, I turned around to face my mom. She was dressed in her PJs still, and had a cup of steaming coffee in her hands. She stared at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
“I went for a run.”
“Since when you do run?”
“Mom!” I stared at her with my jaw open.
“Shit, that came out wrong. Wait, crap!” I felt a smile spread across my face as my mom tried to backtrack on swearing.
“Mom, I think I know what shit means.” I walked over to her and patted her arm before going over to the cabinet to grab a mug for myself.
“What I really meant to say was why did you go running? I know you usually only go if something is bothering you. So, shoot.” She leaned her hip against the counter and watched me as I moved around the kitchen getting a cup of coffee. Once I had sat down on one of the stools, I let out a sigh.
My mom and I told each other everything—well, not exactly everything but close to it. I knew she would give me some good advice. If anyone knew about this kind of stuff, it was my mom. According to the story of how her and my dad got together, it sounded like they went through something similar.
“Gage and I had a fight yesterday and I think we may have broken up.” At the thought of breaking up, my heart clenched.
“I figured something happened between you two at Thanksgiving. When you came back inside, you guys weren’t the same,” she commented.
“It was all over something stupid, Mom. I’m not even sure what made him so pissed anyway.” I stared down at my full coffee.
“Men’s minds are complicated, sweetie. But tell me everything that happened.” I glanced around to make sure none of the boys were around.
“Don’t worry, they are all still asleep,” Mom said. Taking a deep breath, I told her everything that happened after the football game. Everything from when Gage pulled me aside to when he left without saying goodbye.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Mom shook her head at me.
“What?”
“You really don’t see what made him mad?” I tried to think of what would piss Gage off, but nothing popped out at me.
“No, Mom. Nothing happened at all.”
“It sounds to me like when Ethan picked you up and kissed you, Gage got super jealous.”
“But, Mom, it didn’t mean anything! It was just a kiss to the cheek because we won the game.”
“Gage doesn’t know that, honey. He knows about your crush on Ethan, and when he kissed you and you didn’t stop it, he may have gotten the wrong idea. Then add on that you didn’t deny it when he asked you.” She said the exact same thing as Macey did last night.
“Mom, I don’t like Ethan anymore. Ethan has and never will like me that way, so the kiss was just a friendly one!”
“Not to Gage, apparently. He probably got jealous and then hurt that you didn’t do anything to show that you aren’t interested in Ethan anymore.” It all seemed to sink in now, why Gage was so angry. He still thought I was in love with Ethan, and the kiss to the cheek did nothing to help those thoughts.
“But shouldn’t Gage have realized that? I’m in a relationship with him, not Ethan.”
“Honey, men need as much reassurance as us women do. He needs to know that he is the only one you like. That you won’t run off suddenly with a guy you have liked forever. Even your father needs reassurance that I am not going to leave him for some other guy.” I tried hard not to wrinkle my nose at that.
“This is all my fault, Mom. I need to talk to him.” I quickly stood up, my chair pushing back with a loud squeal.
“Carter, you need to give him some space.”
“But, Mom, won’t space just make this worse? He needs to know how I feel about Ethan.”
“Going over there right now will just make matters worse. He needs time to process it and think rationally because I bet you right now he isn’t.”
“Mom—”
“Trust me on this, Carter. Give him until Monday, then you can talk to him. Let him cool off.” I sunk down in my chair again. I didn’t want to wait until Monday to talk to him. Who knew what could happen in the next three days that could make him change his mind about me? He needed to know that I didn’t like Ethan anymore, that he was the only guy I wanted.
“Just give it some time, honey.”
***
Time was stupid. It was fucking stupid. Waiting three whole days to talk to Gage was torture. I knew my mom said to give him some space, but I couldn’t help but call him multiple times a day. He of course never answered and declined my calls. That was the worst part, I could tell he would press the “End Call” button instead of letting it go to voicemail. He was clearly avoiding me.
I left voicemail after voicemail pleading with him to just call me back. It was Saturday night when I sent him a bunch of texts and voicemails demanding he call me back, and that if he was going to break up with me, he better do it in person instead of being an asshole and doing it silently.
It did get to the point where Macey stole my phone from me. I knew I was acting irrationally and shouldn’t have called him so many times, but I needed to hear his voice. I needed to talk to him.
For three days I stayed at my parents’ house. Since I hadn’t seen them in a while, my mom made Luke, Ethan, and I stay home until Monday. She wanted us to hang out, but all I wanted to do was go to Gage.
Everyone knew something was up with me. My dad asked me if everything was okay and if he needed to kick someone’s ass, but I forced myself to smile and tell him I was fine, that I was just having some women issues. That shut him up real fast. Although I was certain my mom told him later that night about the whole thing.
Luke tried to corner me to ask me what was wrong, but I never answered. Macey was very helpful in keeping Luke off my back, and I would be forever grateful. Multiple times Ethan tried to talk to me, but I brushed him off, not in the mood to talk to him. It was honestly because of him I was in the whole mess to begin with. I couldn’t really blame him for everything, but at the moment that was all I could do. He didn’t know that any of this would happen between Gage and I, so I couldn’t be pissed at him for too long.
Eventually everyone stopped asking what was wrong and left me alone. I tried to engage in conversation, and I helped my mom out whenever I could, just to be doing something, but none of it really helped. I felt like I was missing a piece of me. Who knew that I would become so attached to Gage?
It was currently nine on Sunday night and I was pacing my bedroom once again.
“Macey, I feel like I am going crazy!” I tugged on my hair. If I kept this up, I may go bald from all the hair-pulling. “It is like I can’t function without him, Mace. I miss his voice and the way he smells. I am climbing the walls with how bad I want to talk to and see him.”
“I remember feeling the same way when I found out I was in love with Luke,” Macey said from her position on my bed, her head hanging off the side as she read a magazine.
“Wait. I am not in love with Gage.” I came to a stop in the middle of my room.
“Yeah, right.” She scoffed as she moved to sit up and face me.
“I’m serious. I’m not in love with Gage. I just really like him.”
“You know, denial never looks good on anyone,” she commented.
“Mace, I—” I froze mid-sentence. Wait? Was I in love with Gage? Was that why I was going crazy after not seeing him for three days? Why I was so upset with the idea that he may break up with me?
You are in love with him. My mind didn’t once try to say no or convince me that I wasn’t.
“Oh God, I am in love with Gage.” I breathed out. It literally all made sense now. Why I was acting so crazy and obsessed. Why I couldn’t go a day without talking to or seeing him.
My love for Ethan didn’t go away; it moved onto Gage. Everything I felt for Ethan was now what I felt for Gage, but triple. What I felt for Ethan seemed like puppy love compared to how I felt right now.
“You didn’t know you were in love with him?” Macey asked with a raised eyebrow.
“N-no, I just thought I really liked him. I didn’t know this is what love felt like.”
“You didn’t feel this way about Ethan?” I shook my head. I was trying to wrap my head around everything I was feeling.
“Well, I guess you can really say you are over Ethan.”
***
The next morning, I had to literally hold myself back from getting up at the break of dawn to go and find Gage. I made myself lay in bed until seven, when my mom came to get me up. We had classes this morning, so we needed to get back to campus soon and get ready.
I went through the motions of showering and getting dressed before coming downstairs to eat breakfast with everyone. When I came into the kitchen, I saw my father was already dressed in a suit ready for work, and my mom was even ready. Both Luke and Ethan looked like zombies as they silently ate their breakfasts, this being so early to wake up. And Macey was just her usual grumpy Monday self.
Getting some of my mom’s amazing blueberry pancakes, I sat beside Ethan and ate quietly.
“Sorry, kiddos, but I have to head into the office early today. Let me know when you get back to school.” My dad made his way over to me to give me a hug. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. I held on tightly, a bit longer than normal. I wanted him to know I loved him.
“Bye, Dad.” I got up on my toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting back down. Ignoring the loud kisses my father gave my mom, I continued eating.
It wasn’t long after my father left that we all had to get going. I had a class in thirty minutes, as did Luke. I wanted to get to my first class, English, and see Gage. I was just hoping he went to class today.
After giving my mom a kiss and promising to let her know what happened, we all piled into Luke’s car. All of us were silent as we drove back to campus, the boys and Macey too tired to make conversation, and I was too busy biting my lip thinking of ways to talk to Gage.
When we got to campus, we parted ways to go get ready for class. I said a soft goodbye to Ethan while Luke and Macey kissed. I was still kind of upset with him. Because Macey didn’t have class until a bit later, she immediately went right to her room and passed out.
I quickly gathered my stuff for my classes before I left. I wanted to get to class early and hopefully see Gage and pull him aside to talk to him. Who cared if I was the only one there so early?
As I left my dorm and headed to the English building, I noticed it was getting dark outside. Dark rain clouds were moving in and I knew it would start pouring any second. Just another thing to dampen my current mood. I silently prayed Gage would show up to class today.
Sadly, luck was not on my side once again. When I got to class, I sat in my seat staring at the door, waiting for him to walk through it. Multiple times I would straighten up thinking it was Gage, only to see it was some other guy. The seats began filling up and my heart sank, knowing Gage wasn’t coming. It wasn’t until the professor showed up did I realize he wasn’t going to walk through the door wearing his usual grey hoodie before plopping down in his seat next to me.
All through class my knee bounced and I tapped my pencil obnoxiously on my notepad. People around me were getting mad but I didn’t care. I was counting down the minutes I could escape this class and go to find him.
Because I wanted class to go by faster, it went slower. Everything always did that. You want Friday to get here because you have a date with the hot football player you have been dreaming about for months, and instead of the week flying by like you want, it decides to go even slower. Time was never good to people.
When the professor finally excused us, I immediately jumped out of my chair and pushed past everyone to get out the door. I might have gotten cursed at, but I didn’t even hear it. The moment I was free of the classroom, I took my phone out and dialed one person that would know where Gage was.
“Carty, what’s up!” Dylan said through the phone. Normally I would have laughed at his nickname for me, but not today.
“Dylan, where is Gage?” I demanded. I moved off to the side so I wasn’t in anybody’s way as they left the building.
“Why? Is something wrong?” I could hear the change in Dylan’s tone.
“No. I just need to know where he is.” I didn’t have time to explain to Dylan what was going on.
“I think he is still at the apartment. He came in late last night piss drunk.” He was at home hungover!
“Thanks, Dylan.” Not even waiting for him to say another word, I ended the call and started for the exit. I pushed the door open, only to be met with pouring rain. I watched as people ran around trying to get somewhere dry. Out of all days, it had to rain today.
My need to see Gage right now triumphed over getting wet. So, gritting my teeth, I started out in the rain. I tried to run, but I was soaked in a matter of seconds. I ran in the direction of Gage’s apartment building while the rain battered down on me. I was the only one out here.
It was cold out and the rain did nothing to help that. Since my clothes were stuck to me, it was making me shiver, but all I could think about was Gage. I needed him to know I loved him and that I only loved him. Ethan was not on my mind anymore and never would be.
Thankfully it didn’t take me too long to reach Gage’s apartment, and I quickly ducked inside wanting to be out of the rain. Water dripped off of me, and my shoes make squeaking noises as I walked across the floor to the elevator.
I was shivering and bouncing on my toes as the elevator took its own sweet time going up to Gage’s floor. When the elevator doors finally opened and I was out heading toward his room, my steps slowed. Doubts were starting to creep into my mind. What if Gage didn’t want me here? He dodged all my phone calls and texts, so maybe he didn’t want to see me.
All these what-ifs came to mind, and when I reached his place, I just stood there staring at the number 30 on his door. Now I wasn’t even sure if I should be here. All my courage and planning of busting through his door and demanding he listened to me, was going out the window. I didn’t want to face the rejection that might happen if I entered that room. I didn’t want to face the look on Gage’s face that he had the other night.
I was a wet mess in front of his door when I gave myself an unexpected pep talk. If you love Gage, you will go right through that door and make him listen to you. You will not be some stupid damsel in distress, not anymore. If you want a happy ending, then you are going to have to write your own story. The words actually had some effect on me.
Clenching my jaw, I nodded to myself and reached for the door handle. When it opened without resistance, I almost yelled out in glee. Before I entered the place, I took a deep breath. I was going to be the heroine in this story instead of the damsel in distress I had been.
Walking inside, I slammed the door shut for dramatic effect. Searching around, I didn’t see him in the living room, so I stalked toward his bedroom. I let my anger at him dodging my calls, yelling at me, and making me feel this way wash over me. By the time I reached his bedroom, I was fuming.
Just like with the front door, I slammed open his bedroom door, making it hit the wall with a bang. Gage slowly sat up in his bed at the noise. It was dark in here, so I marched over to his window and jerked the blinds up.
“What the fuck, dude!” Gage cursed as he covered his eyes.
“Gage Harper, you are getting out of this bed this instant.” I seethed. At my voice, he dropped his hand and stared up at me, as I for once towered over him. I crossed my arms across my chest and glared down at him. I probably didn’t look too threatening, considering my hair was sticking to my face and I was trying hard not to let my teeth chatter.
“Carter?” I noticed that his eyes were bloodshot and he had bags under them. I ignored the pang at seeing them and kept my hard gaze on him.
“Up. Now.”
“Carter, get out,” Gage said going to lay back down. Nope, not happening. I grabbed his shoulder and roughly pulled him back. I miscalculated how close he was to the bed and he ended up rolling off the bed onto the floor. I took a step back. Oops. I pushed aside the tingling feeling in my hand from touching his bare skin.
“Get your ass up and meet me in the living room. We need to talk.” While he groaned at falling on the floor, I turned and walked out. Halfway down the hall, I yelled back at him.
“If you do not hurry, I will come in there and chop off your balls.” I was going to talk and he was going to sit his ass down and listen to me.
I stood near the counter with my arms crossed and my foot tapping, water dripping onto his floor. A few minutes had passed and I was about to go and get him, when he came walking out. I could not help my eyes from raking up and down his shirtless chest. He was dressed in only a pair of sweats that hung low on his hips.
“Carter, you need to leave,” said he said gruffly. He sounded and looked hungover.
“No, not until we talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” He kept his distance from me and crossed his own arms over his chest.
“Well, you are going to. You declined all my calls and texts, so I had no other choice than to come here.”
“There is a reason I didn’t answer them.” It hurt me how rude and cold he was being right now. This wasn’t my Gage.
“You have no right to act like this with me, Gage.”
“I have no right? You are the one who is still in love with that dick!”
“Who said I was?” I yelled. “Not once did I say I was still in love with him, Gage. You came to the conclusion yourself!”
“When you flaunt yourself at him, I know exactly what you feel toward him.”
“Flaunt myself?” I choked out. “When have I ever flaunted myself at anyone?”
“Carter, I saw you flirt with him all day. You kept smiling at him, sending him looks, and when he kissed your cheek you did nothing to stop it!”
“Did you ever think to realize that he was just being friendly, Gage?”
“He was not being friendly, Carter, and it is sad that you don’t see that,” he spat out.
“Will you just pull your head out of your ass for one second! Will you just listen to me for once!” I screamed. I thought I was all out of tears but apparently not, as they started to form in my eyes.
“I don’t need to listen when I already know everything, Carter! You can now go run back to your little boy toy and leave me the fuck alone.” I couldn’t control myself as my legs led me right over to him until I was mere inches away. I could feel the heat coming off his bare chest and it made me shiver once more.
“You are such a dick!” I smacked his chest. “You won’t even let me tell you that I am not in love with Ethan anymore! I never was! I stopped liking him the moment you came into my life, but you are too fucking dense to see that!” I kept hitting his chest as I spoke.
“Instead of hearing me out, you decide to insult me, yell at me, making me cry because you left without a goodbye, and you haven’t even answered my calls! What if I was dying, Gage? Would you have felt bad then, huh?” Tears were now steadily running down my face.
“I don’t fucking love him, Gage! I love you!” The words came out before I could stop them. This wasn’t how I wanted to tell him I loved him, but it was too late.
“So, there. Are you happy?” I shoved him hard. “Are you happy now?” Crying, I turned around and headed for the front door. If he was still going to be such an ass to me, then I wasn’t going to stay. Not when I just bared my heart to him and he hadn’t said a word.
I didn’t make it far before a hand snaked around my wrist and twisted me around.
“What was that?” Gage asked, his voice low.
“Gage, stop.” He took a step toward me and I took one back. We kept on doing that, Gage advancing on me and me backing away. My back finally hit the wall behind me and I had nowhere else to go.
“You love me?” He looked more awake now, and his beautiful brown eyes were searching mine. I didn’t answer. A few more tears leaked out of my eyes.
“Did you say you love me?” He placed his hands right next to my face, caging me against the wall. I had nowhere to go now.
“Yes, and now I don’t know why I do,” I bit out.
“You love me.” He kept saying it like he didn’t believe it.
“For the love of god, Gage. Yes, I. Fucking. Love. You. Okay?”
Our breathing was heavy as we were inches apart. His chest was now pressed against mine and I didn’t feel cold anymore. What he did next surprised me.
He brought a hand up and cupped the side of my face. His eyes seemed to shine almost like he wanted to cry, but he wasn’t. His head dipped closer to mine until our lips barely grazed one another.
“I love you too,” was all he said before his lips slammed hard against mine.
Read on for a sneak peek at the next book in the Silent Love series!