Nineteen

Bridgett paused on the verandah outside Jay’s office. It was early evening and Josie had put out sangria and tapas by the pool. Charlie and her mother had kept to neutral corners most of the day, with Melanie wandering the vineyards while her daughter camped out beside the pool. Neither one was in sight now, though. Instead, Jay’s assistant, Linc, was pacing the office floor while SportsCenter droned on in the background.

“More sexual harassment allegations have surfaced today regarding Baltimore Blaze owner Jay McManus, fueling rumors that NFL Commissioner Reggie Austin will sanction not only the Blaze but the team’s owner individually,” the sportscaster said. “You’ll remember that the Blaze are being sued by their cheerleaders, the Sparks, for alleged sexual harassment by Blaze players. While many of these cases are from McManus’s tenure as CEO of McManus Industries, some inside and outside the NFL are questioning the timing of these leaks of cases that were settled privately prior to McManus taking the helm of the Blaze.”

“Yes!” Linc pumped a fist into the air. “Way to go, Mimi.”

Bridgett wandered farther into the office to watch alongside Linc. He winked at her before they both turned their attention back to the screen. A lawyer who specialized in defamation cases was being interviewed by the sportscaster.

“This seems to be a smear campaign against McManus personally,” the lawyer was saying. “It’s a desperate strategy on the part of the attorney representing the Sparks. The fact that Mr. McManus has been sued before for alleged sexual harassment doesn’t mean he’s guilty. These cases were settled and are sealed. It’s difficult to determine whether they were specious or not. And, it’s a stretch to say he’s created an environment where this type of activity is tolerated. Let’s remember here that only one of the Sparks cheerleaders has come forward as a plaintiff.”

“And we’ve just learned here at ESPN that the plaintiff and the attorney representing the class are former sisters-in-law,” the sportscaster interjected.

The lawyer nodded. “There’s a lot about this case that stinks and I think that before we all jump on the bandwagon of sanctioning an NFL team and its owner, we should wait to see how the facts play out.”

“Hear, hear,” Linc cheered.

“Seriously,” Bridgett said. “As much as I hate to admit it, that was a brilliant move on Mimi’s part to go directly to the sports media.”

The topic moved on to a baseball player accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs and Linc lowered the volume on the television. “Do you think it’ll be as easy as just discrediting the source?” he asked.

Bridgett shrugged. “It depends on who this person is and what their motivation is.” She eyed Linc hopefully, but if he knew who the blogger was, he wasn’t sharing.

“Hopefully, that will all be taken care of today,” was all he said.

Apparently, she’d have to be more direct. “Is there any news on that front?” Bridgett wandered over to examine another painting on the wall—this one a landscape of Christchurch, New Zealand—while trying to appear nonchalant. Her curiosity about the blogger’s identity and their relationship with Jay had been nagging at her all day. Not only that, but she worried about what Jay would have to do to get the blogger to stop. The Jay she’d once fallen in love with wasn’t capable of doing anything violent or nefarious. This Jay, the one whose body she knew intimately but whose heart and feelings were closed off from her, she wasn’t so sure about. And it made her very anxious. She wanted to believe in him again, and that desire was becoming very dangerous to her heart.

“I’m sure it went as planned. The boss usually gets what he wants. He and Don are back in San Francisco. Don had some security issues to take care of at the hotel before the team arrives. These women’s groups are fired up and say they’re going to protest the game again this week.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “Don wanted to make sure there won’t be any nonsense when the team arrives tonight. Mr. McManus went to his office in San Mateo to finish reviewing the shareholders’ quarterly report.”

Bridgett felt more let down than relieved. For some reason, she’d hoped Jay would return to the vineyard right away and share with her the outcome of his confrontation with the blogger. She mentally shook herself. The old Jay would have done that. The only thing this Jay wanted to share with her was his body. And his vineyard if she accepted the life he was offering. She’d be pampered and her body satisfied, but not her heart. Happiness would be superficial if she found any at all. Bridgett wanted more. This would be one time where Linc’s boss didn’t get what he wanted.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she glanced down at the screen. Gwen. The separation from Skip had made her sister very needy, but Bridgett could empathize with the heartbreak her sister was going through. Worse, she had a sneaking suspicion she’d be going through that kind of raw pain again very soon. Heaving a sigh, she answered the phone.

“Do you think Skip knocked up a twenty-six-year-old because I stopped going to the gym?” Gwen asked. She’d been making outrageous statements like this all day. Their sister Ashley had already texted Bridgett in frustration and concern. It seemed that Gwen was getting more and more manic as the day went on.

“No,” Bridgett said calmly. “I think Skip knocked up his nubile young assistant because he’s an ass and his common sense is that of a five-year-old.” She wandered back out of the office and along the path toward the tasting cellar. “You’re beautiful, Gwen. Stop playing this second-guessing game. I know it sounds cliché but it’s not you; it’s him.”

Gwen released a sorrowful-sounding sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’m going to be forty in a few months, Bridgett. And I’m going to be alone.”

“It’s not that bad. Besides, they say forty is the new thirty and all that. Plus, Skip is going to be forty-one and he’s going to have an infant.”

Her sister perked up a little at that comment. “Trust me, that’s the only thing that has kept me smiling these past few days. Skip hated dealing with all that baby stuff.”

Bridgett sat on one of the benches outside the wine cellar tasting room. She took in the view of the sun dipping over the foothills, the late day’s light bathing the vineyard in shades of deep yellow and orange. “See, there’s always a silver lining. You need to find a way to celebrate this next phase in life; not mourn your marriage. Plan something fun for your birthday. Go on a trip somewhere. Mom and Dad will watch the kids.”

“A trip would be wonderful.” Gwen finally sounded enthused about something. “Where should we go?”

It took a minute for the “we” in her sister’s sentence to sink in. A vacation with Gwen. Dear God. “Um.” Bridgett hedged. “I don’t know. Why don’t you think about it and come up with some ideas. Check with Ashley to see what she thinks. Maybe we can go somewhere where Tricia can meet us.” No way was she letting her other sisters get out of the trip.

“I will! I’ll ask Shay if she wants to come along, too. You’re right, this will give me something to look forward to,” Gwen said. “Especially since you won’t be around to hang out with anymore.”

Anymore? Bridgett and her oldest sister hadn’t ever “hung out” as far as she could remember. “What are you talking about?”

Gwen snorted on the phone. “All these years you’ve been single and you wait until I need a wingman to finally snag a guy.”

Bridgett rubbed at her temples. “Only guys have wingmen, Gwen. And I haven’t snagged anyone. I told you not to believe everything you read.”

“Then what do they call a woman’s wingman? And please don’t tell me you’re not trying to snag a rich husband. At least if he cheated on you, you wouldn’t have to go work for Dad.”

“I told you this three times already today—there’s no relationship between Jay and me, so no worries about cheating. And if Dad needs a lawyer, I’ll be happy to work with him.” Bridgett had tried to keep her voice from sounding terse and aggravated but her sister’s silence on the other end of the phone told her she hadn’t been successful. She sighed again. “Look, Gwen, it looks like this case will wrap up much more quickly than we anticipated. Either way, I’ll definitely be back on the East Coast Monday morning. Hopefully, in Boston. Why don’t we plan on dinner next week, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Gwen whispered. “I don’t mean to be so selfish. I wanted this thing to be real for you. I honestly did.”

Bridgett swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I know. But nothing has ever been real between me and Jay. Hang in there, Gwen, and I’ll see you next week.”

She blew out a cleansing breath as she clicked the phone to off.

“Well, at least you can admit to that.”

Jay’s mother’s voice startled Bridgett into nearly dropping her phone. She looked behind her at the older woman standing in the doorway of the wine cellar. Dressed in designer jeans, a black turtleneck adorned with silver jewelry, and a long, flowing shawl-collared sweater, she glared at Bridgett with the same piercing blue eyes as her son. Whereas Jay’s looked at her with undisguised hunger most of the time, Melanie Davis’s looked at her with disgust.

Jay had been wrong about his mother. She was definitely going to go “mama bear” all over Bridgett. It was a look she recognized from her own mom whenever someone had harmed her precious Brody.

Bridgett steeled her spine for the worst. “Excuse me?”

Melanie stalked toward her. “‘Nothing has ever been real between’ you and my son. Isn’t that what you just said?”

Ten years as a trial attorney kept Bridgett quiet. Always let the opponent talk and you’ll glean something to use as rebuttal to their rambling. Stuart had taught her that.

Jay’s mother stopped near the bench. “Was it real when you thought he was wealthy? You thought you could trap him by getting pregnant, perhaps? But then you found out he wasn’t inheriting Lloyd’s money, was that it?”

Bridgett bristled at her words. Is that what Jay had thought? That she’d been after his money? Except he’d never told her about his family. Nothing more than first names. He’d been deliberately vague. The throbbing at her temples grew worse.

“I’ll never understand how someone can just throw away a life.” His mother’s words were laced with disgust, making Bridgett’s stomach roll.

After this weekend, she’d likely never see this woman again. Bridgett didn’t owe her an explanation. Her head told her to keep her mouth closed, but her heart was beating a mile a minute fueled by anger and despair. “You’re supposed to be a scientist,” she said quietly.

Her words caught the older woman off guard. “What the heck kind of excuse is that?” she snapped.

Bridgett stood stiffly. “It means don’t form a hypothesis without all the facts.” Tears were stinging the backs of her eyes and she wanted to get to the safety of her room as quickly as she could before they streamed down her face like they had that day so long ago. She’d cried for Jay and she’d cried for their unborn child. By the time the doctor had told her that her fallopian tube had ruptured and scarred her uterus, she’d had no more tears left to shed. But there was no sense dredging up that pain again just to set the record straight with Jay’s mother. The woman wasn’t prepared to hear how her son had deserted her, not the other way around. How he’d accused her of unthinkable things. What reason would she have to believe Bridgett?

“Jay gave me all the facts years ago,” his mother said. “Your relationship was ‘real’ to him. He was crushed by your betrayal.”

Bridgett tried to take a shaky step toward the house, but Jay’s mother’s glare held her in place.

“It was the first time that I’d seen him cry since his father died. He cried his entire third year, disappointed every morning when he awoke and his father wasn’t there. And then, nineteen years later, he was crying over a child he’d never have. And a woman who didn’t love him enough to stand by him while he pursued his dream of building a winery in his father’s memory. He felt abandoned by a woman who only wanted his money.”

Her words were like a knife to Bridgett’s belly. She would have stood by Jay. His dream had become her dream. Clearly his mother was mixed up. It was Jay who didn’t want to share his life with Bridgett. Jay’s version of the events of that summer was dramatically different from the actual ones. How many lies had he told? And why?

Forming a coherent sentence was painful as Bridgett’s throat ceased to work properly, but she refused to let this woman see her agony. Bridgett hadn’t let anyone see her suffer since that night in the Italian hospital. “It was a long time ago. We’ve moved on,” she managed to choke out.

“Have you? Jay built a company from the ground up just so he could have the money to build this.” Jay’s mother spread her arms wide as she turned in circle. “It’s more beautiful than anything his father and I imagined. And yet, he doesn’t enjoy being here. Instead, he buys a football team on the other side of the country. A team your brother plays for.” She pointed an accusing finger at Bridgett. “He hasn’t gotten over you. And if you keep popping in and out of his life, he won’t. You said that you’re returning to Boston on Monday. I hope to God you’re not lying about that, too, because my son doesn’t need a woman like you in his life.”

Jay made that perfectly clear when he abandoned me in Italy without so much as a word, Bridgett wanted to shout. But she didn’t. Jay’s mother’s rejection stung as much as her son’s had all those years ago and speech was now impossible. Instead, she tapped into what remained of her pride and forced her legs to carry her toward the house. She ignored the sound of Charlie calling her name as she climbed the stairs to the guest room. This time, she locked the door.

•   •   •

“What makes you think she’s going to stop?” Even with the speakerphone as a filter, Blake’s voice sounded a little testy.

Jay watched from his office window as the sun set over the Santa Cruz Mountains. “Delaney has a keen sense of survival. She won’t want to jeopardize her financial security. Now that she knows I’m on to her and could out her with her Chinese friends, she’ll keep quiet.”

“Why the hell was she tormenting us with lawsuits and that crazy blog? Did she tell you?”

“She said she was just bored. My guess is she’s lonely and bitter, too.”

“Excuse me for not throwing her a pity party,” Blake said. “How long have you had this kind of leverage over her?”

“I’d been keeping tabs on her since she started working for me all those years ago.” Jay leaned back in his chair, a heaviness settling over his chest.

“That was your first mistake: hiring her to begin with.”

“She has a brilliant mind.”

Blake scoffed. “Yeah, too bad she’s chosen to use it for evil.”

Jay unlocked his desk drawer and pulled out an old photo of the three roommates taken at a Cubs game back when they were in college. “Aren’t you curious about how she looks? Whether or not she’s okay?”

His friend was silent for a few beats on the other end of the line before finally answering. “Honestly, no. Like you said, she has a brilliant mind. She could have chosen a different life.”

“She was something to us both at one time,” Jay said as he fingered the picture. “Hell, you were gonna marry her.”

“Dammit, Mac! Yes, I loved her. Past tense.” Blake sighed. “She was using me—us—to support her addiction to gambling. I’m not going to pine over a woman like that. It’s been thirteen years. I’ve moved on. Stop letting her tug at that soft spot you try to hide behind your heartless business demeanor. She’ll just use and abuse whatever kindness you offer her. Hell, I don’t know why you haven’t already turned her over to the Feds.”

Jay tossed the picture back into the desk drawer. “Too late for that. She was packed up and out of the hotel in less than thirty minutes. According to my sources, she was on her way to Hong Kong this afternoon.”

“Once again, she’s dodged a bullet, thanks in part to you tracking her down. If she has any sense at all, she’ll lay low, enjoy her ill-gained spoils, and leave us the hell alone.”

“Wherever she lands, I just hope she can straighten her life out.” Jay didn’t bother mentioning his reservations that Delaney would leave the two of them alone.

Blake swore. “There you go caring about her again. She’s not worth your time. Delaney is no better than the crazy chick who sent you a Dear John letter from Italy. You wouldn’t give her a second chance, would you?”

Jay’s chest grew heavier.

“You loved her,” Blake continued. “But she was using you just like Delaney was using me. No way you’d keep forgiving that girl like you seem to be doing with Delaney. Get a grip, Mac. Remember who the enemy is here. Neither of those two women deserves even a piece of your heart.”

A sweat broke out on Jay’s forehead at his friend’s words. He wasn’t sure he liked Bridgett being compared to Delaney and that thought bothered him. “She’ll never love you.” Delaney’s words echoed in his head. He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter—except Jay was starting to wonder if he could separate his heart from his crotch that easily. Jay still physically desired Bridgett. Big-time. The only thing that kept him from returning to the vineyard earlier that afternoon was Delaney’s nagging comments. But her words shouldn’t bother him at all, because he didn’t want Bridgett’s love.

Damn it! A painful pinching began at the base of his neck and Jay reached around to rub it away. They were good together. As long as he kept things purely physical and ignored the part about her betrayal. So why was he suddenly having so much trouble with that last part? Jay released an explosive litany of obscenities.

“Yeah,” Blake said. “That’s exactly how I feel about the opposite sex right now, Mac. We need to go hang gliding over a volcano or maybe wingsuit flying. I guarantee the high you get from either is better than sex.”

Jay seriously doubted Blake’s claim, but he didn’t feel like debating his friend right now. Not when thoughts of Bridgett did strange things to his body—and not just the area around his zipper. “I’ll have to take your word for that one, Blake. Neither one of those activities is high on my to-do list right now. I’ve got to host a party for a bunch of sponsors tomorrow evening and then we’re dodging women with placards at a game on Sunday.”

“You get a rain check this weekend, Mac, but only because you outsmarted Delaney at her own game. I promised my sister I’d come out to Baltimore to see the baby soon. Let’s make plans to grab a beer and some crabs when I’m there.”

“Sure,” Jay said. He looked forward to seeing his friend again, but he worried about keeping the truth about Bridgett from him. Blake would think he was a chump for hooking up with her again, and that bothered Jay almost as much as Delaney’s words.

It was after nine o’clock by the time he arrived back at the vineyard. Linc and Charlie were playing cards in the great room, but there was no sign of Bridgett or his mother.

“Hey, boss,” Linc said. He stood up halfway but Jay waved him back down to his chair. The two had been laughing loudly when Jay walked in and the sound of Charlie’s enjoyment of anything was music to his ears.

“Everything okay?” Linc looked at him expectantly.

“It is now.” Jay walked over and kissed his sister on the top of her head. “How was your day? I’m glad to see that my house is standing after a day of you and Mom under the same roof.”

Charlie snorted. “Mom can’t get to me. But she did make Bridgett cry.”

Jay halted on his way to the liquor cabinet at the other end of the room. “What?”

Charlie shrugged as she laid a card down on the table in front of her. “The last time I saw her, Bridgett was hiking the stairs two at a time with tears streaming down her face. She hasn’t left her room since.” His sister glanced over at him, a mulish look on her face. “Just so you know, whatever it is, I’m siding with Bridgett on this one. I like her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you. No matter what our dear mother might think.”

Gray spots were floating in front of Jay’s eyes. “Where is she?”

“I told you, she’s in her room,” Charlie said.

“Not Bridgett. Mom.”

“She was using her computer in your office earlier,” Linc offered when Charlie shrugged again.

Jay was stalking toward his office before Linc finished his sentence. His mother didn’t bother looking up from her laptop when he entered.

“I thought I told you that my relationship with Bridgett was none of your business,” he said without any preamble.

She tapped out a few more keystrokes before glancing over her readers at him. “Is that what you two have? A relationship?”

“Damn it, Mom. Whatever we have doesn’t affect you.”

He watched as she swallowed harshly before powering off her computer and quietly closing it. With a sigh, she pushed her glasses on top of her head and stood. “You’re wrong, Jay. Everything you do affects me. Everything your sister does affects me. I’ll be the first to admit I stand at the total other end of the spectrum of helicopter parents; that I’ve fallen short in many areas of parenting. But not in my love for you both. Never in my desire to see you both happy. Settling for a woman who you can never trust with your love won’t make you happy.” She swallowed harshly again. “Trust me on this one. But in my case, I did it for you. And I got Charlie out of the deal. Not that she’ll ever appreciate me, but that’s okay. I’d fight just as hard for her happiness, too.”

Jay couldn’t get any words to form in his throat. He knew his mother’s marriage to Lloyd hadn’t been a fairy tale. She’d immersed herself in her work, though, making her appear happy enough. But he was no longer looking at that time period through the lens of a young boy. His mother’s comments made him as conflicted as both Delaney’s and Blake’s had earlier.

She stopped beside him, gently reaching up and brushing back his hair off his forehead. “One day, God willing, you’ll be a parent. And you’ll know this feeling that I have for both you and your sister. You’ll want to battle your children’s demons, right their wrongs, and fight tooth and nail for their happiness. I want you to have happiness in your life. Happiness like your father and I had. And I won’t give up fighting for it. Neither should you.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow for our family talk.”

He stood there mute as his mother quietly walked out of his office. Eventually Jay made his way around to his desk chair, where he sunk down and dropped his head into his hands. He still wanted Bridgett, damn it. His physical need for her was powerful. But the rusty organ deep within his chest kept clenching at the thought of possessing her body only. Fool that he was, apparently he wanted more from the last woman he should trust.

Linc wandered in as Jay was unlocking the safe. “We have an added guest for the sponsorship party tomorrow night,” he announced.

“If it’s the father of Charlie’s baby, go ahead and shoot me now.”

“No, but that actually might be the lesser of two evils,” his assistant said sheepishly. “I just got a text from NFL headquarters. The commissioner wants the details so that he can stop by and have a few words with you.”

Jay swore silently. The man likely wanted to appear proactive in front of some of the league’s bigger advertisers with a public dressing-down of Jay over the Blaze’s current legal situation. Women’s rights groups had been hounding the NFL to make someone the scapegoat in all their cheerleader class action cases by sanctioning a team owner. Apparently, that owner was to be Jay.

With luck, Delaney would heed his warning and all the nonsense surrounding the class action suit would die down. Unfortunately, not soon enough to avoid a visit from the commissioner tomorrow evening, which meant he’d have to suck it up and endure whatever posturing the guy wanted to do before the assembled sponsors. Jay sighed as he transferred the contents of his briefcase into the safe. “When he’s here, have him sample the new pinot and arrange to send a case to his wife. She loves the stuff.” Hopefully the gesture would take some of the steam out of the blowhard.

Linc chuckled. “Sure thing, boss. The team arrived at the hotel about an hour ago. Mr. Osbourne says everyone is settling in. There were a few women protesting in the lobby, but they left peacefully with a few autographed balls. Mr. Osbourne said the team is scheduled to practice at the junior college twice tomorrow if you want to stop by.”

The eager smile Linc shot him told Jay his assistant wanted to “stop by” the Blaze practice. The kid likely deserved it after having to spend the day in the House of Estrogen. An afternoon spent on the sidelines would be a welcome diversion for Jay, as well, given the week he’d been having.

“Change my lunch with my mother and sister to a late brunch and we’ll go to the afternoon practice,” he said.

“Got it. Is there anything else you need before I turn in?”

Jay shook his head, his eyes suddenly focusing on a yellowed envelope at the back of the safe. He waited until he heard Linc’s retreating footsteps before he pulled the letter out of the safe. Sliding back into his desk chair, he flipped the envelope between his fingers, wondering why he hadn’t burned the damn thing years ago. He’d kept it as a reminder to be careful who he trusted with his heart, but every time he read the letter he was only reminded that his heart no longer existed. Bridgett’s words had seen to that.

I always thought that being in love with someone would mean I would do anything for them.

One look at her letter and the feelings that had been rumbling around in his chest all afternoon quieted. He shoved it into the breast pocket of his suit. Emotions had no place in his life anymore. Jay wanted Bridgett, and he made it a point to always get what he wanted. He’d just keep the letter close as a reminder that what they had would only ever be physical.

By the time he got to the door of the guest room his body was primed and ready for further negotiations over their relationship. But when he tried the door handle, it was locked. Jay swore as he shoved his fingers through his hair. He was seriously considering finding Josie and getting the key but he didn’t want Bridgett that way. Jay had promised to treat her with respect at all times in their relationship and he’d honor his word now. Even if it meant he’d be spending the next half hour in a cold shower.