Christina Marlene Schneider breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the BMW engine fade into the distance. It wasn’t the first time she’d been glad he’d left. He was probably off to the hardware store for the tools to lock her up in this room again. Normally, there was no such thing as having Danny too close—whenever he wasn’t within reach, she felt like someone had violently torn a piece of her away. She loved him far more than she loved her own life, though that life had always been meaningless to her anyway. Knowing that she’d disappointed him and was causing him worry filled her with infinite sadness.

Even she didn’t know why she’d done it. It had been a reflex, like a movie on autoplay that she was powerless to stop. The little packet of dirty white powder stuck inside her bra was still all she could think about. She decided to wait a little longer, just in case Danny suddenly came back for some reason. He’d searched her yesterday for drugs, of course, but she knew where to hide things from him. And she was well aware that he’d left Jessica behind to keep an eye on her.

But Jess would be no real obstacle. She couldn’t sniff Christina out nearly as well as Danny could.

Christina didn’t think she could hold out much longer. The cold had already begun to spread through her body, and she felt her mouth filling with hot saliva. Even her eyes started to fill with fluid. Her legs felt strange, like they’d been dunked first in boiling water and then in ice.

How could she have known that she’d get withdrawal symptoms after just that one fix? Of course, she’d known it was dangerous, but she’d been sure one time wouldn’t hurt—she figured she’d be able to stop right away. After all, she’d done the stuff so often in the past, one time here or there wasn’t going to make a big difference, right?

That had been her theory, anyway. Now she found herself forced to face the sad reality of the situation: she hadn’t stopped at one. She’d had to go back for more the very next day.

They’d given her cheap street heroin, probably no more than 20 percent pure. The rest was all powdered sugar and plaster. Nothing like the stuff Danny had gotten her back in the day—90 percent pure, practically uncut. Serious side effects were rare with high-quality drugs like those, and she hadn’t had to worry about track marks as much.

Not that she cared about that now, because she certainly wasn’t planning on slipping back into that vicious circle. She was going to stop again, get back to her job, and get her life under control once and for all. She had no doubt of it. This had really just been a one-time slip, triggered by the news her mother had given her: her dad was getting out early for good behavior. He’d be free at the beginning of next year. Hearing that had brought the roof down on Christina’s head. She couldn’t take the knowledge that he would soon be able to come anywhere near her.

As if on cue, the pain had started again. It had been gone for so long, and then bam, out of the blue, it had started again. Pain that she would never wish on anyone…apart from her father.

It started in her head and shot through every nerve in her body, until she couldn’t think, talk, or move. Doctors couldn’t localize it, couldn’t explain it. It’s all psychological, they’d told her. Well, of course, that was the easiest explanation, wasn’t it? The crazy girl with the messed-up childhood was just imagining it all.

Even if that were true, it didn’t make the pain any easier to take. Besides practically paralyzing her, it put her completely on edge, so that all she wanted to do was run away. Which she had. Right back to the thing she knew would help block out this horrible pain inside her.

She stood up quietly and removed the little baggie from her bra. Danny had taken everything else: the needles, the syringes, the lighter. She couldn’t even smoke it. Furious, she opened the package and begun snorting the contents.

Christina hated snorting heroin. It didn’t have anywhere near the same effect, plus it seemed pathetic. “Too dumb to fix,” everyone had called it. But too dumb to fix was better than nothing, and it would be enough to quell the withdrawal effects until she could get her hands on a fresh supply.

She supposed she’d have to go back and see Johnny again. Get herself a little something, probably more than yesterday. They’d give her the cheap crap again—there was no way of getting the high-quality stuff unless you threw buckets of money at the dealers like Danny had. And there was no point wasting her time hoping he’d do that again. The only reason he’d done it before was because, addicted as Christina was back then, the people at the drug counseling center had recommended against going cold turkey. Better to wean her off the heroin gradually, they’d said, so that she wouldn’t have to go the medication route. And Danny had gotten her better stuff than she’d even known existed. Any junkie in the world would have gladly given a kidney just to experience it once.

Once you try smack, you never go back! Christina shook her head. She needed to concentrate on what was important here. Right now, she’d be happy to get even 5-percent junk.

She got dressed as quietly as she could, feeling the heroin beginning to work. The cold was fading, her eyes and mouth were dry again, and her legs didn’t feel quite as weird anymore.

Then the rush hit her.

She stretched deliciously. Now nothing mattered. Her world would be perfectly fine for the next three hours—which was enough time to figure out how to get another fix.

“After the game is before the game,” an old German soccer coach had once said. The minute you finished one, you had to start thinking about the next. It was even truer for junkies: after the fix was before the fix.

The window opened without a creak. Christina climbed out and slipped away from the apartment building, hunching over as she ran toward the street. She’d made it! She was free! Suddenly, she was filled with such euphoria that her heart was hammering in her throat. She wasn’t sure if it was down to the heroin or her successful escape, but she didn’t really care.

She ran to the main street but then decided to stay on a back road so she wouldn’t run into Danny when he inevitably came looking for her. She stuck her thumb out whenever she saw a passing car, and it wasn’t long before an old VW Golf pulled up beside her.

“Hi,” she said. “I need to get to Stuttgart. Can you give me a lift part of the way?”

“Of course, honey.” He unlocked the doors, and she climbed in. “I’m Robert,” he said, pulling back onto the road. “What’s your name?”

“Tina.” She looked the guy over. He frightened her. Late forties, with thick, horn-rimmed glasses and greasy, parted hair. His shirt was snow-white. He smelled like cigarettes, and he reminded her of her father. Pretty much every man that had anything in common with that monster frightened her. She pressed herself farther down into her seat.

“What are you doing in Stuttgart, honey?” His voice was far too friendly. She needed to get out of there before she had a panic attack. All the heroin in the world wouldn’t have kept her calm in this situation. Better to take a taxi, she decided.

Suddenly, she began to worry that Danny would notice her absence too quickly and get to Stuttgart before her. She’d get there faster with a taxi, and she’d still have more than enough money for several bags of H. She’d just gone to the bank yesterday, in fact. Having her own account and her own income certainly had advantages.

“Honey?” the guy beside her prodded.

Sweat beaded on her forehead, and she’d already bitten her thumbnail down to the quick. Seeing a traffic light up ahead, she prayed it would turn red in time.

Yes.

Before the car even came to a complete stop, she wrenched the door open and ran. She could hardly believe her luck—she found a taxi immediately. When she told the driver the address, he gave her a doubtful look. Apparently he knew the area.

She didn’t care. That was the great thing about heroin: nothing mattered.

A couple of blocks from her destination, she paid the driver and got out. She didn’t want to attract any attention, so she could get in and out as fast as possible. Clouded as her mind was, she still found herself getting nervous. There weren’t just dealers inside that building—there were pimps, too. She’d already taken a serious risk by sleeping there the night before. This could get dangerous fast. The men in there thought of girls as playthings for them to use however they wanted.

In years past, she’d already experienced a few guys sending her out to turn tricks before deciding they didn’t want to let her leave. How many more times would Danny manage to get her out of there again? Tears ran down her face when she thought about him, about how often the guys in this building had already beaten him up because of her.

This is the last time, Danny, she silently promised. Once this stuff is gone, I’ll quit and start living the life you want for me!

She wasn’t going to disappoint him again.

As she slowly approached the front entrance to the warehouse, she saw his BMW blocking the front gate.

Christina cursed. How had he gotten there so quickly? It pained her to realize how panicked he must have been to make such an obvious mistake. He knew the warehouse had a back entrance, but he’d still been too dumb to hide his car. Now, she could just slip to the back unnoticed while he waited in vain out front. It wasn’t at all like him to be this inattentive, and she felt horrible about the chaos she had obviously unleashed within him.

For a moment, she considered just going over to his car and giving herself up, but she couldn’t make herself do it. She needed the heroin.

With a heavy heart, she headed around to the back.

She was just turning the corner when someone grabbed her from behind, gripping her forearms so tightly that she knew there was no chance of escape. A wave of panic crashed over her, and she started screaming as loudly as she could. One of the hands released her arm and clamped down over her mouth. Christina thought she was going to suffocate.

“Shh, Tina, it’s me,” Danny whispered in her ear.

Danny! Her panic dissipated as quickly as it had come. At first, she couldn’t quite decide whether to feel angry or relieved. Nothing was going to happen to her now, but she also wasn’t going to get any heroin.

The anger won out.

“What do you want?” she shrieked. “Let me go! I’m going in there!”

“No, you’re coming with me.” As he steered her back to the front entrance, she realized he’d parked his car out front as a decoy—he’d been waiting in the back the entire time. She could have marched right up to the front entrance unnoticed. The revelation infuriated her even more.

“Why can’t you keep your nose out of my business already? I’m old enough to make my own decisions!” She began taking swings at him.

“I can see that, Tina,” he replied coldly. Still mercilessly clenching her arm, he herded her to the car before gently but firmly forcing her into the front passenger seat.

She thought about using the few seconds he needed to get to the driver’s side as a chance to flee, but decided against it. He was much faster than her—she wouldn’t get far. As he got in and locked the doors, she sat there, pouting, letting the tears flow freely.

“Just leave me alone!” she wailed. “I don’t want to be around you anymore, I want to live my own life!”

“No problem,” Danny said. “You’re free as soon as you’re clean. But not until then.”