Chapter Seventeen
The international terminal at San Francisco Airport was teeming with people, even at this early hour. Ian had already checked his luggage for the flight to London, and was delaying the moment he had to enter the security line for as long as possible, knowing that Tessa would not be able to proceed past that point. Taking a commercial flight was not something he typically did, for he utilized the corporate jet for the majority of his business travel. But since he would be away for just over two weeks and remaining in London the entire time, he’d decided the company plane could be put to better use by his executives and high level managers who also needed to travel frequently on business.
Wanting to spend every possible minute together until his departure, Tessa had stayed overnight at his house and risen at a very early hour this morning to accompany him on the drive to the airport. Simon was at present circling around the terminal until she re-emerged, and then he would drive her to the office. Or, at least, within a couple of blocks so that no one would notice her alighting from Ian’s car and putting two and two together.
“You’re certain you won’t stay at the house while I’m away?”
Tessa nodded as she smoothed down the lapels of his black wool overcoat. “I’m sure, yes. If I’m going to give notice to my landlord soon, then I’d better use this time to start packing things up and cleaning. I’ll have to decide what to keep and what to donate. I want to ask my landlord if any of the other tenants might need some things.”
He gave the belt of her raincoat a little tug as he tightened his arms around her waist. “Well, if I get a vote you know what item will be on the top of my donation pile.”
She grinned up at him. “I thought you had other plans for this, plans that included a fireplace and a book of matches.”
Ian eyed the much-maligned raincoat dubiously. “You’re right. I’m not certain there would be any takers if you tried to give it away. Even thrift stores have certain standards.”
Tessa gave him a playful swat on the arm. “Hey, it’s not that bad. Besides, it’s not for much longer, you know.”
“I know.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’ll also get to work on that letter of resignation while I’m away?”
“Yes, I promise. Will you tell Andrew the real reason I’m leaving?”
Ian considered her question for a moment or two. “Most likely, yes. If anyone can keep a secret, he can. Not to mention he’s paid a pretty penny to be discreet. And, of course, he probably already guesses that there’s something going on between us. It’s rather terrifying at times how nothing escapes that boy’s attention.”
She nodded. “He’s terrifying, all right. Wouldn’t it be something to have him and Mrs. Carrington in the same room together some time?”
The look of mock horror on his face made her giggle. “God, that would truly be a battle of wills for the ages, wouldn’t it?” he asked. “I wouldn’t even know which one of them to bet on.”
For long seconds after that they just held each other, two lovers who were postponing the moment they would have to part for as long as possible. It was Tessa who finally, reluctantly, lifted her head from his chest and gazed up at him sorrowfully.
“I guess you’d better go,” she said slowly. “And I shouldn’t keep Simon waiting any longer.”
“Simon doesn’t mind,” he assured her gently. “He knows I’m mad about you. But unfortunately, you’re right, it is time. Now, give me a kiss good-by, darling, and I’ll call you as soon as I land.”
Tessa kissed him with an almost desperate hunger, her arms clinging to his neck as he groaned beneath her lips. Tears shimmered in her eyes as he lifted his head.
He cupped her cheek in his hand, his thumb brushing away her tears. “I’ve got to go. Dream of me, will you, love?”
“Every night,” she whispered. “You, too.”
Ian smiled, the look of love on his handsome face causing her heart to ache. “Darling, don’t you know? I’ve dreamed of you every night since we met. I’m not going to stop now.”
With one last, quick kiss, he picked up his laptop bag and walked away towards the security line. She watched him for another minute or two before turning away hastily, not wanting to burst into tears in the middle of a crowded airport.
Simon tactfully didn’t comment on her teary-eyed state when he assisted her inside the Town Car, and was mostly silent during the drive back into San Francisco. But as they drew closer to the office, his deep, gentle voice startled her a bit.
“He’s head over heels in love with you, too, Miss Tessa,” he said kindly. “I’ve never seen him this way with another woman, not even close. And you’re definitely the only person who’s ever seen him off at the airport before.”
Tessa sniffled. “Oh. Well, thank you for telling me, Simon. And I – I love him very much. I hope – that is, I know how all this must look to you. I mean, he’s so distinguished and handsome and – well, rich. And I’m just an ordinary office employee, no one special.”
“You’re special to Mr. Gregson,” declared Simon. “And he’s an excellent judge of character. If he thought for one minute that you were some type of fortune hunter, he wouldn’t have bothered with you. He told me soon after the two of you began seeing each other that he was crazy about you, and not just because you’re a very pretty young lady. He said that your real beauty was deep inside of you, and that your kindness and goodness were what really drew him to you.”
Tessa felt a warm glow spread through her at Simon’s words. “He really said that?”
“He did, Miss Tessa. And he meant every word. And he’s absolutely correct. You’re a good girl, I can tell, not like all the others who would only be after his money or his looks. You truly care for him, too – for the man he is inside and not just the image he projects. You two make a lovely couple.”
Impulsively, she reached forward and squeezed him on the shoulder. “That’s so kind of you to say,” she told him tearfully. “It will help me get through these next two weeks without him.”
Simon gave her hand a reassuring pat. “Trust me, my dear, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he knows it. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. I hope you realize he would do anything for you, absolutely anything.”
“I do, yes. And the feeling is mutual.”
As instructed, Simon let her off a short distance from the office and in a very discreet manner. Before she began to walk away, he reminded her yet again to get in touch with him if she needed anything during Ian’s absence.
“I’ll be visiting my sister and her family up in Oregon for about a week,” he told her, “but I’ll be back in town next week. Even if I’m not around I can easily arrange for anything you might need.”
Tessa thanked him but assured him she’d be fine, that she was used to taking care of herself and wished him a pleasant vacation. Then she was off to work, where she hoped to keep busy enough over the next two weeks so that she didn’t feel like crying nonstop.
She knew that if she didn’t want to endure anymore painful separations like this one that she would have to remain firm in her resolve to resign. But it was one thing to know it, and quite another to actually accept it. As much as she loved Ian and wanted to be with him all the time, she couldn’t quite let go of the feeling that she needed to depend on herself and not simply rely on him for everything. That had been what had eventually happened with Peter, and when he’d left it had felt like her whole world had caved in.
And, if she was being completely honest with herself, she was still having doubts that her relationship with Ian would last. Her misgivings had nothing to do with her own feelings. No, those were rock solid and she couldn’t imagine ever loving another man the way she did him. Rather, it was her fear that he would tire of her, that perhaps having a much younger girlfriend was only a novelty for him, and maybe something of an ego booster (not that someone as undeniably hot as Ian needed to pad his self-esteem by any means). What if she became an embarrassment to him once they went public with their relationship – if he determined that she simply wasn’t refined or educated or mature enough to live in his world full time?
He would never abandon her, or leave her to fend for herself. That she knew without a shadow of a doubt. He was too good of a person, too much a gentleman, to ever even think of doing something like that. No, if he ever decided to end things between them he would make sure she was taken care of, settled with a good job and a place to live. But there would be nothing at all he could do to heal the gaping wound in her heart that a breakup like that would cause.
As the workday ended and she headed to the office gym for her workout, Tessa forced herself to stop being such a pessimist. Ian had made his feelings for her very clear, and she ought to be doing cartwheels of happiness right now that such an incredible man was in love with her. Instead, she was letting herself fall back into her old, bad habits and starting to imagine the worst. If she was going to get through the next two weeks without her lover, she was going to have to keep as busy as possible and, more importantly, maintain a positive attitude and not succumb to the depression that often hovered on the edges of her emotions.
The workout helped block out a lot of the insecurities and worries that tormented her, as did the call that came through from Ian shortly after she arrived home. He sounded tired, and she knew it was already the middle of the night in England. Even though she longed to keep him on the phone, she didn’t prolong the conversation when he bid her good night.
She kept herself busy the rest of the evening by starting to inventory her kitchen and living room, beginning the process of packing up the apartment. By the time bedtime rolled around, she was sufficiently tired to actually fall asleep fairly quickly.
But the next morning – which happened to be a Wednesday – started out on a sour note when she discovered her period had started. One of the major side effects of the IUD she used for birth control were the heavy, painful menstrual cycles she suffered through. Her periods were also irregular, making it difficult to pinpoint when they were due to occur.
She’d tried using the pill - several different brands in actuality – but had experienced rather severe allergic reactions to each one – terrible headaches, constant nausea, a red, itchy rash. The nurse practitioner at the free clinic had steered her towards the IUD as an alternative method but Tessa wasn’t so sure the side effects with it were much better.
Making sure her purse was well stocked with tampons, Tessa swallowed two Tylenol with her breakfast to lessen the pain of the severe cramps she knew would follow shortly. Her period would last for well over a week, with more of the killer cramps and heavy bleeding, enough so that she always felt a little weak and dizzy as a result. She tried to lay low during her cycles, cutting back on her exercise routine, trying to get some extra sleep, and eating as well as she could.
The timing of her period with Ian’s absence was just about the only positive note. She was reluctant for him to see her this way, especially when she felt bloated and uncomfortable and on edge. Her periods also tended to make her weepy and depressed, and she knew she’d have to force herself more than usual to get through the days.
It didn’t help a bit that things at the office were slow. Not only was Ian away for two weeks, but several of the other managers were either traveling on business or attending a conference somewhere. However, it seemed that Tessa was the only one of her co-workers who wasn’t pleased at the lack of work assignments. The others took full advantage of the lull by arriving late and leaving early, taking longer than usual lunch hours, and spending the better part of the day gossiping, searching the Internet, and making personal calls. Of course, Andrew was still very much on top of things, and they had to exercise at least a little caution. But Tessa was quietly convinced he knew exactly what was going on, and was making very careful notes of who was slacking off. Determined not to take advantage of her relationship with Ian, she kept to her normal schedule and routine, and strove to work as hard as possible.
And she couldn’t help feeling just a little bit smug when Alicia shared the latest rumors about Ian and his love life with the rest of them. The speculation that he had a new girlfriend was apparently really running wild now, given the facts he’d been a no-show at several important events lately, and that his other two former escorts – the news anchor and the ballerina – had been seen out with other men.
“Most everyone seems to think this mystery woman is someone back home in England,” Alicia informed them with a little sniff of displeasure. “They think he met her when he went home for the holidays, because it was very soon after his return that he stopped being seen in public with other women.”
“Hmm, so he was probably looking forward to this trip big time,” chimed in Kevin. “Two months is a long time for someone like His Hotness to go without a woman.”
Tessa had to bite back a retort that Ian had actually gone two years without a woman – if she could truly believe what he’d told her about being celibate. And while she still had her doubts that someone as virile and sexual as he was could really go without sex for so long, she also knew he was too honest and moral to lie to her about something like that. Besides, there was always such a desperate, urgent hunger in the way he took her that it was easy to believe he’d abstained for such a long time.
Rather than put herself through a grueling workout in her weakened physical state, Tessa elected to take a restorative yoga class at SF Flow instead. The unlimited monthly membership that Ian had surprised her with had been one of her favorite and most cherished gifts, and she loved the luxury of being able to take classes whenever she wished.
She knew Julia took a 6:00am class at a different studio during the week, so she didn’t worry about running into her apparently very nosy friend. She did see Sasha as she arrived, since the curly-haired teacher also taught classes in the evening. Tessa had heard from other students that Sasha was not only the most popular teacher at this studio but also one of the most sought-after in the entire city. She wasn’t the least surprised to see the throng of students crowding into the larger of the two practice rooms where Sasha’s class was held.
“Hey, I’m not used to seeing you here in the evenings,” Sasha told her. “But why aren’t you going to my class? Restorative is way too easy for you, Tessa.”
Tessa grimaced and placed a hand on her belly. “It’s that time of the month, I’m afraid, and it’s pretty awful. I figured it would be a good idea to take it a little easy.”
“Ah, absolutely,” agreed Sasha. “No inversions on your cycle, okay? Backbends, handstands, not a good idea. If you have bad cramps, try drinking some chamomile tea. I wish I wasn’t already so booked up tonight with classes or I could try to squeeze you in for a massage. That would do wonders for you right now.”
“I actually just had a massage over the long weekend,” recalled Tessa wistfully. “My first ever. It was really amazing, something I could get used to.”
Sasha nodded. “It’s a good addiction to have. Maybe we can set up an appointment for you sometime. Take it easy in class, okay? I’ll see you soon.”
It didn’t surprise Tessa that her teacher was also a massage therapist. During class, Sasha made a point of going around to as many students as possible and making adjustments to their bodies while in poses. Tessa could tell by the knowledgeable way in which Sasha touched her that she was extremely familiar with human anatomy, and her touch was both skillful and soothing. Tessa wondered anew if Ian already had a massage therapist he saw on a regular basis, and made a mental note to suggest that they could possibly use Sasha’s services if he didn’t.
She felt relaxed and less uncomfortable at the end of the class, a sensation that remained with her during the bus ride home. It was only as she opened her mail box that the all too familiar feeling that something bad was about to happen returned.
The thick manila envelope bore the return address of a local law firm, and Tessa almost dropped the packet in revulsion. She postponed opening the envelope for as long as possible, and didn’t even mention its arrival to Ian when they spoke on the phone late that night. With the eight hour time difference between San Francisco and London, it was already very early in the morning for him and well past normal bedtime for her. Still, she gladly gave up the extra sleep in order to hear his voice, to listen to him recount what had happened the day before, and to have him tell her how much he loved and missed her. Determined to remain positive, Tessa didn’t mention her painful period or how many times during the last day and a half she’d had to fight off the depression that threatened to engulf her in its darkness.
But once their conversation ended, she stared for long minutes at the offending envelope, knowing she’d never be able to sleep until she opened it.
She’d known without even looking at the return address that the envelope contained the divorce papers. She didn’t get a lot of mail in general, and certainly nothing as thick and official looking as this packet. Sighing, Tessa slid the papers out of their envelope and took a quick glance at the top page.
Well, it was over. Officially so, even though her marriage to Peter had in all honesty never really begun. They had been best friends, roommates, confidantes, but never lovers or partners, not in the true sense of the word. Now that she knew what it truly felt like to be in love, to experience sexual fulfillment, and, yes, to finally feel like a woman, Tessa could accept her seven years with Peter for what they had really been – a means to an end; a safe haven for her; and a dysfunctional mess that should never have been permitted to go on for as long as it had.
Still, she cried for a while, because it was never really easy to let go of something that had been part of your life for so many years. And then, she pulled up her email account on the rather ancient old laptop Peter had scrounged up for her way back in high school, and began to compose the letter she ought to have sent him weeks ago.
Dear Peter,
It’s been a few weeks since we were in touch and a lot has happened during that time. First, though, the divorce papers arrived today so I guess it’s really official – we’re no longer married. I just finished having a good cry over it but I can honestly say – finally – that you did the right thing by making this happen – for both of us.
There’s – well, I’ve met someone, Peter. I know you always wanted that for me, but I still can’t help feeling a little bit guilty about it. He’s a wonderful man, treats me like a princess, and I’m going to be moving in with him soon. As you know, the lease on this place is up pretty soon so I guess the timing is working out well.
He’s older than I am by quite a bit, but it’s not for the financial or emotional security that I’m with him. I’m honestly, completely, and ridiculously in love with him, and I hope you’ll be happy for me. I told him everything – about my mom, the whole mess I was in when you saved me, and about us. He’s not only been good to me but good for me as well, and I’m hoping he’ll be the one to slay the rest of the dragons, the few that you didn’t already kill for me.
I hope you know how much I still love you, Peter, and how much I always will. You were there for me in my darkest times, and I will never, ever forget that. I hope we can continue to be the best of friends, and that you will keep in close touch. And, most of all, I hope that someday you can finally find the peace that you need so badly – that you’ll meet someone who will slay all of your dragons.
With much love,
Tess
Wiping away her tears, she dragged herself into the bathroom and got ready for bed, hoping that between her emotional state and her physical condition that she would sleep soundly. As she started to shut down her laptop, she was astounded to see a new message had popped up, and even more surprised to note that it was from Peter. He never replied to her emails so quickly, and she surmised he must have been online when her message had been delivered to him.
Hey, Tess,
What you are doing up so late? I’m the insomniac, remember? But in all seriousness – yes, I knew the divorce was going to be final today and was thinking of you the whole time. Guess I was just too much of a coward to email you first.
I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you’ve found someone, Tess. You deserve to have normal, healthy relationship, and to be loved and adored more than anyone else in the world. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be the man to give you that kind of love, because I know I’ll never meet anyone half as wonderful as you.
Would I be wrong in guessing that this new, older man in your life is your boss? I might be going out on a limb here but I remember that Christmas party you dragged me to a couple of years back. I never told you this, didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I saw the way he kept watching you all night and giving me the evil eye (just kidding!) If it is him, I think you’ve made a very wise choice. He’ll take good care of you, Tess, give you all the things I never could. Oh, I’m not talking about stuff like cars or houses or clothes. I know you don’t give a shit about any of that. The things I’m talking about are romance and normal sex and maybe having a baby one day. I always wanted those things for you and I’m glad you’re finally going to have them.
One last thing, because I’m starting to lose it here myself. I’ve begun therapy, Tess. Once a week I Skype with someone in the States, someone who specializes in my sort of issues. And while I’ve got a long, long way to go, I’m hopeful that one day I’ll be able to slay my own damned dragons.
I love you, too, Tess and we will always be best friends. Take care and be happy, and please do keep in touch.
Love,
Peter
She was crying again as she finished reading his message, but this time they were tears of joy.
***
Two Weeks Later
By his calculations, he’d been awake for more than twenty-four hours, given the time zone difference and the number of hours he’d been either waiting in airports or actually in flight. Ian was exhausted, especially since he’d had precious little sleep on the very long flight home from London. Since he had changed his flight at practically the last minute, there hadn’t been any seats available in either first or business class, and he’d been forced to fly coach. For a man of his height and bulk, falling asleep in the restricted space had been all but impossible, especially when coupled with the crying child in the seat behind him and the very chatty couple in front of him. He’d considered the wisdom of taking this last minute flight a dozen times over during the rather hellish journey, but each time he questioned his decision he didn’t regret it. How could he, when it meant he would see his beloved Tessa that much sooner than planned?
Wanting to surprise her with his early arrival, he hadn’t told her about his change in plans. He’d made up some excuse for why he wouldn’t be able to call her as usual this evening, and she sweetly hadn’t questioned him further. But now that his flight – the departure having been delayed by more than two bloody hours due to heavy fog at Heathrow – had finally landed, he was making a beeline to her apartment, so that he could sweep her up and take her home with him. He knew she wouldn’t mind being woken at this late hour, even though she would have to get up early for work in the morning. And he’d already written off the possibility of actually having sex with her, since his own exhaustion would probably impair his ability to perform, even given their long separation and how damned much he’d missed her.
A quick glance at his phone showed that it was actually already morning, half past midnight to be exact. As he exited the plane and walked towards baggage claim, he hit the speed dial for Tessa’s cell phone. He knew she kept it by her bedside to use as an alarm, and was therefore concerned when it went to voicemail after several rings. Frowning, he tried it three more times in quick succession with the same result.
As he located the number for her landline, he tried not to panic, telling himself that perhaps she’d simply forgotten to charge her cell phone. But when the landline also went to voicemail repeated times, he couldn’t control his agitation, and the dreadful feeling that something was wrong. After all, didn’t Tessa always claim that bad things happened to her on Wednesdays? And though it was barely the next day, this was in fact that very day of the week.
Ian was relieved and grateful to find Simon waiting just outside of the terminal, and left the luggage for his chauffeur to handle as he got inside the car. He tried both of Tessa’s numbers again, and this time didn’t even attempt to control his panic.
“Something’s very wrong,” he told Simon as the older man slid behind the wheel. “Tessa isn’t answering either of her phones. She hasn’t been in touch with you, has she?”
Simon shook his head as he pulled away from the terminal. “No, sir. Haven’t seen or heard from the young lady since the day you left town. When did you speak with her last?”
“Last night. A text or two earlier today. Or was it yesterday? I’m so bloody mixed up with these damned time zones that I don’t even know what day it is. Christ, Simon, where is she? Why isn’t she answering the phone?” Ian raked a hand through his already rumpled hair.
“I’m headed directly to Miss Lockwood’s place now, sir,” assured Simon calmly. “Would you like me to call my contact at the police department during the drive – just to see if they’re aware of anything – ah, amiss in her area?”
Ian closed his eyes, not wanting to imagine any one of a dozen horrible things that could have happened to Tessa – being robbed, raped, stabbed, God knew what else in that questionable neighborhood she lived in. “Yes, please, Simon. And thanks, mate.”
While Simon made his call, Ian tried like hell not to overreact. There could be a perfectly logical explanation as to why Tessa wasn’t answering either of her phone lines. There could be a power failure in the area, which would account for why her landline wasn’t working, and why she hadn’t been able to charge her cell phone. Or maybe there had been some sort of gas or water main leak in the neighborhood, and all of the residents had had to be evacuated temporarily. Or just perhaps –
“Sir.” Simon’s voice intruded on his thoughts and then Ian was listening in horror at what his chauffeur was very reluctantly telling him. “I’m afraid Miss Lockwood’s apartment building – well, there’s been a fire, Mr. Gregson.”
***
The scene surrounding the two block radius near Tessa’s apartment building was utter and complete chaos. Ian pushed his way past barricades, completely ignoring the shouts of the police officers who had undoubtedly been told to keep all but essential personnel out of the area. He didn’t give a flying fuck if a dozen strong men tried to make him leave – no one was going to prevent him from finding Tessa.
He and Simon had smelled the thick, acrid smoke in the air blocks away, could see the flashing lights and beacons of all the emergency vehicles. Simon had been able to obtain some additional information from his contact at the police department – the man evidently was both a neighbor and a fishing crony – but the data hadn’t helped ease Ian’s fears in the least. There were no casualties reported, at least not yet, but several residents of the building had been taken to the hospital. Initial reports indicated that the fire had started on the uppermost floor of the building – the fifth – while Tessa’s unit was on the second. It was that bit of news that gave Ian the most hope that she’d found her way out of the building unharmed, but nothing was going to fully appease him until he found her.
A task which was going to be a near impossibility from the looks of it. There were emergency vehicles parked haphazardly all along the street – fire trucks, police cars, ambulances – and dozens of people running to and fro, shouting at each other, with no one person seemingly in charge of controlling the scene. The fire was still burning, filling the air with thick black smoke, and the heat from the flames was stifling.
A young Asian policewoman made a rather feeble attempt to get Ian to vacate the area. “Sir, you really can’t be here, I’m afraid,” she told him, trying to sound authoritative. “Emergency personnel only. You’ll have to leave this area at once.”
He shook his head. “Not until I find someone. I’m looking for a young woman, mid-twenties, tall, blonde hair. Have you seen anyone fitting that description?”
“Sir, I really have to insist – ”
“Please.” He turned the full measure of his charm on the pretty young policewoman. “Please, officer, I’m desperate to find her. Do you have any idea where they took the people who had to be evacuated?”
The policewoman hesitated before giving a slight nod. “I’m not positive, but I thought I overheard someone saying they were taking the residents into the Chinese restaurant down the street. You can check there, but then you’ve really got to leave.”
Ian gave her a dazzling smile. “Thank you, officer. I truly appreciate it.”
And then he was off, running as fast as his weary, jet-lagged body would move, trying to stay out of sight before another emergency responder noticed him and tried to get him to leave.
Ian was not an especially spiritual man, but he offered up every prayer he could remember from his youth as he hurried along. The very thought that Tessa could be injured – or worse – was not something he could bear to think about. If he were to lose her now, when they’d really just found each other, he wasn’t sure he’d want to go on living either.
The Chinese restaurant in question was closer to two blocks away than one, but he didn’t care and offered up a silent thanks as he walked inside the dimly lit establishment. Inside, the chaos continued, as the victims of the fire seemed to be either shouting or crying, and in at least half a dozen different languages. A couple of individuals carrying clipboards with Red Cross badges clipped to their collars were bustling about, attempting to calm as many people as they could. Ian considered approaching one of them to see if they knew if Tessa was here, then gave up and went to look for her himself.
He’d very nearly given up, the despair he felt sapping the little energy he had left, when he finally spotted her.
She was sitting by herself at a little corner table, her hair wildly tangled and her face streaked with tears and soot. Someone – presumably the Red Cross – had given her one of those ultra-light space blankets, which she was huddling inside of, her body shivering with cold – or more likely fear. Beneath the unsubstantial blanket, she wore only a pair of sleep shorts and a flimsy tank top, and her feet – Jesus – her feet were bare and dirty. She looked so forlorn and terrified that he wanted to weep. Instead, he pushed past all the other people milling aimlessly about until he was kneeling in front of her.
“Thank Christ,” he muttered hoarsely, taking her face between his hands. “God almighty, Tessa, tell me you’re all right.”
She gasped, her hands drifting up to cover his as the ridiculous excuse for a blanket fell away from her body. “Ian. Oh, my, God, how are you here? How did you find me?” Her voice was hoarse, either from crying or smoke inhalation.
He stood and lifted her into his arms, letting the blanket fall to the floor as he cradled her against his chest. “I’ll always find you, my love. Now, let’s get you out of this hell hole and take you home.”
He carried her out of the restaurant while somehow still managing to dig his phone out and pressed the speed dial for Simon’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“I’ve got her, mate. Yes, unharmed so far as I can tell. Meet us on the southwest corner of the block, past the barricades. Be there shortly.”
He stuck the phone back in his pocket and hefted her a bit higher in his arms, scarcely noticing her weight. He would have gladly carried her for miles, crawled through the actual fire, or walked over broken glass, just as long as she was safe.
“Ian,” she murmured huskily. “Put me down. I’m too heavy for you to carry.”
“Hush, darling. It’s no bother at all and you are not walking a step on these filthy sidewalks in bare feet. Ah, there’s Simon.”
Faithful, devoted Simon was standing anxiously by the side of the car as they arrived, holding the back door open.
“Give Miss Lockwood to me, sir, while you get inside,” offered Simon. “I’ve left a blanket on the back seat.”
Ian quickly shifted Tessa to Simon’s waiting arms, giving his loyal chauffeur an appreciative pat on the back. “You think of everything, mate. Thank Christ you were here tonight.”
He slid inside the Town Car as Simon gently set Tessa down on the seat next to him. Ian wasted no time in covering her shivering, scantily clad body with the much more substantial wool blanket, and then pulled her onto his lap as Simon started the car.
“I want you to be seen by a doctor,” he told her firmly. “Tonight. Simon, would you take us to the University Medical Center, please?”
“No,” she protested weakly. “Please, Ian, I just want to go – home. The paramedics checked me out and aside from being in shock I’m okay.”
“Tessa – I would be much happier if you’d agree to this,” he argued. “Your voice – you must have inhaled a lot of smoke.”
She shook her head before resting it wearily on his shoulder. “Not so much. My voice – I think it’s like this from crying so much. I was so scared, Ian.”
“Christ, and I was terrified, Tessa, absolutely fucking terrified. I kept calling your phone numbers and when I didn’t get an answer, I started imagining all sorts of terrible things that could have happened to you. God knows this wasn’t one of them.”
Tessa began to cry, burying her face against his chest, and he rocked her like he would a child, murmuring to her soothingly. Her hair reeked of smoke, her face was grimy with tears and soot, and her body still shook uncontrollably within his arms. He rubbed his cheek against hers, uncaring that his skin, too, was now smudged, or that his suit would also begin to smell of smoke. The only thing he cared about was making sure Tessa was safe and well, to offer her comfort and shelter, and most of all, his love.
By the time they reached his house, he was almost numb with exhaustion and was grateful for Simon’s assistance in bringing Tessa inside. She was almost collapsing in shock and fatigue herself, but he made himself strip off their clothing before lifting her into a hot shower. While she sat slumped over in helpless surrender on the built-in bench, he shampooed her hair and soaped up her body, washing away all traces of soot and smoke. The water was almost scalding hot, but still her body felt chilled to his touch and he forced himself not to panic, hoping it was only shock that was responsible for her continued shivering.
After toweling both of them off, he wrapped her in her robe while tiredly searching around for some night clothes. He cursed softly as he realized the few nightgowns he’d bought her were all sheer, lacy confections that would do absolutely nothing to warm her up. He managed to dig out a pair of her yoga pants before grabbing one of his own sweatshirts and some thick athletic socks.
Ian dressed her as though she were a little girl, a task made that much more difficult by her limp, uncooperative limbs. He tucked her into bed before belting on his own robe, then ventured downstairs to pour them each a brandy. He practically had to force the first few sips down her throat, until the liquor finally seemed to have its desired effect, warming her up enough so that she was able to drink the rest of it down on her own.
He slid into bed next to her, cuddling her still trembling body close, and stroking her hair comfortingly.
“Ian, I - ,” she began.
“Hush, love. Not now. We’re both exhausted. Sleep now and we’ll talk in the morning.”
She nodded, her eyelids drooping. “Okay.” She was unable to stifle a yawn as she whispered, “I love you.”
He kissed her forehead. “And I love you more than life itself, Tessa. Let’s rest now, my love.”