Exactly five minutes later, I was sitting in Alex’s dressing room, with Amy’s stylist straightening my hair. I was petrified, and my reflection only confirmed it. My eyes were dark, my pupils were dilated.
Why had I agreed to do this?
His attitude this morning had been the worst ever, and any thought of him forgiving me had been well and truly quashed. I even wondered whether he hated me, perhaps more than Amy.
I sniffed nervously, and screamed internally at the thought of being practically naked with him on set. We hadn’t even touched each other intimately, we’d only ever dealt with our raging hormones through layers of clothes.
Today would be something I’d remember for a very long time. But it would probably be something that I’d want to try and forget. Whilst my body was celebrating at the thought of some skin on skin contact, I was fighting the feeling of sickness that flooded through me, threatening to make me heave into a bucket.
“Shit,” I muttered as I reached for the bottle of water on the counter. I gulped down several mouthfuls of the ice-cold liquid, closed my eyes and tried to relax. I shivered, and took deep breaths to calm myself. But my chest was too tight, as if each breath was fighting to be released.
“I’m looking forward to the oral in this sex scene.”
I heard his sarcastic tone before I saw him. Opening my eyes, I caught his reflection in the mirror. He was leaning against the wall behind me, one of his knees bent under him, his foot flat against the wall. His arms were folded across his chest.
I tutted. His words didn’t surprise me—not when he was acting like this.
“So you’re talking to me now?” I said. “I think I preferred it when you were giving me the silent treatment.” I focused on my reflection in the mirror, desperately trying to ignore his. The stylist had just finished straightening my hair, and she quickly made her exit leaving just Alex and me in the room.
“It looks a lot better,” he said quietly, as he moved to stand behind me. He ran his fingers through my new sleek locks. “I think I can just about manage to pull off a convincing performance with you now. It’s not gonna be easy, though.”
I remained silent, taking another mouthful of water whilst waiting for even more sarcasm and hate to spew from his mouth.
“The make-up woman will be here soon.”
“Erin?” I asked, desperate to see her friendly face.
Alex shook his head. “It’s her day off. Its body make-up you need, not just facial.”
My heart sank. I would have loved to have Erin here with her unwavering support. I suspected that she would have also played hell with Alex for the way he was behaving.
“Can I stay whilst she gets you ready?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Whatever.”
The woman who I presumed to be the body make-up artist, walked into the room.
“You should have knocked.” Alex scowled at her as he moved away from the back of my chair. “Ella and I could have been practising our sex scene.”
“In your dreams,” I added, reacting instinctively to his comment.
“You’ve no idea,” he whispered.
“You ready for make-up?” the woman asked as she positioned her large case on the counter next to the mirror.
I nodded my agreement, but the woman looked nervously at Alex.
“And you’re happy for him to stay whilst I do this?” she asked.
I frowned. “Why shouldn’t I be?” I had no idea what the fuss was about, but as I caught Alex’s wide smirk, I decided to ask something that was nagging at the back of my mind. “Just what parts of my body are having make-up?”
“Face, arms, neck and breasts, stomach. Everywhere really, down to your waist.”
I steadied myself with a deep breath. “Out!” I ordered in Alex’s direction.
“I’m gonna see it all anyway. Maybe if I see it now it’ll show me what I’ve got to work with. No unpleasant surprises.”
I gritted my teeth and spun around in the chair. “Get out!” I shouted. “Now!”
He shrugged and pulled at the door handle “Don’t be long. You know how angry I get when I have to wait.”
I tutted as he shut the door behind him. Turning to the woman who had witnessed our exchange, I asked what any female would who had never been in this situation before. “Just how naked am I expected to get out there?”
“If Alex Denton had his way, I would say he’d like you completely naked.”
“What? All his co-stars go naked with him?”
She placed a hand on my shoulder. “No sweetheart. I think it would just be you he’d like naked. I saw the looks he gave you.”
I shook my head. Why did everyone say that they saw the looks he gave me? Was I completely blind to them? And anyway, she had no understanding of the current situation.
“No, you’ve got it all wrong. He hates me.”
“Okay, if you say so, dear. Now, we need to get you ready. Let’s not keep him waiting, huh?”
Whatever the situation, I didn’t want to annoy him anymore than I already had. I picked at my nails, and tried to relax. Today was not going anything like I had planned. I concentrated on the one bright light that had kept my spirits up when I’d been so close to despair—Anthony. Oh, how he’d love to be a fly on the wall, listening to everything that was happening in here. The story that he’d print would be sensational. In fact, I wondered if anyone would believe it if he printed the truth. Even I was having a hard time believing what was happening around me.
“You need to take all your clothes off,” the woman informed me. “I’ve got a robe for when you need to move to the set. And I’ve also got this.” She held up a skin coloured thong and twirled it around her fingers.
“That’s it?” I shrieked. The thong was the tiniest piece of underwear I had ever seen. “That’s all I’ll be wearing? Why bother?”
The woman handed me the thong. I balled it up in my sweaty palm, trying to control my breathing and not have a panic attack.
“What about my top half?”
“Naked. Have you read the directions for this scene?”
“No, I wasn’t given them. I wasn’t allowed them. All I was told was that it was a sex scene between the two characters. It starts off as angry sex, but calms into a beautiful lovemaking scene.”
“Hmmm . . . He will pay rather a lot of attention to your breasts in the second part, that’s why I won’t be applying too much make-up to them. He won’t want a mouth full of pressed powder.”
I stared wide eyed at the woman. I was so out of my depth. I was inexperienced, nervous, and my stomach was threatening to empty my breakfast cereal all over the floor. But a small, treacherous, stupid voice in my head was merrily singing at the thought of what I was heading into.
“Clothes off,” the woman ordered. “Let’s get you sorted.”
Ten minutes later, I was clinging onto the front of the white robe as if my life depended on it. My hands didn’t seem to want to release any part of the cotton covering.
I’d had no problem with the make-up woman seeing me naked, but it didn’t mean that I was comfortable with Alex, or the production crew, or Rowan seeing me practically naked. The stupid flesh coloured thong I was wearing didn’t leave much to the imagination.
At least I looked the part. My hair certainly felt different, and I had never been so glad about having had a bikini wax in my life. How embarrassing would I have felt if I hadn’t had that done?
I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat yet again. It didn’t matter that the make-up lady had told me that my skin was practically flawless, that I didn’t need much make-up, I was still petrified.
As I entered the studio, I quickly sought out Alex. He was deep in conversation with Rowan, looking over the script. He had his back to me and even though he was dressed in the same white robe as me, I could tell that his wasn’t fastened. The belt hung loosely down his sides, and the front of the gown drifted sideward as he raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck.
“Ella,” Rowan said as soon as he spotted me. I crossed my arms over the front of my robe, and somehow managed a nervous nod. But I was unable to give him my full attention. I wanted Alex to turn around. If I was only wearing a thong, what was he wearing under his robe?
“Let’s get on with it, shall we?” Alex said as he moved toward the bed, not even turning to acknowledge my presence.
Rowan could hardly contain his glee at my transformation. “You do look like Amy, you know. I didn’t notice it before.”
“Be careful, Rowan. I’m not too keen on been compared to Amy.”
Rowan placed his arm around my shoulder as he guided me further into the room.
“Alex knows what’s required of both him and you during this scene. All I can ask is that you go with the flow. Try to look as if you’re enjoying it.”
I snorted. Look like I was enjoying it? That would be impossible.
“Do I need to say anything? Is there any dialogue, lines for me?” I asked, worried that I was going to mess everything up.
Alex sniggered. I hadn’t even realised he’d been listening. “As long as you gasp and moan in pleasure at what I’m doing to you, you’ll be fine.”
I was about to respond to Alex’s unnecessary comment when Rowan slowly shook his head. “Please, just try, Ella. Say what comes naturally. Amy can always do a voice over later, or we can edit it out. Don’t worry about it.”
He walked away, shouting instructions for anyone who shouldn’t be on a closed set to leave immediately. There was a shuffle of feet and voices passing me, several wishing me good luck. I never saw who they were though. My eyes were fixed on Alex who stood at the side of the bed, his gown flapping suggestively, but still not showing me anything.
When he turned around, he pulled his gown closed and fastened the belt. His fixed scowl turned into a wide smirk as our eyes locked in a staring battle.
Amusement flashed in his eyes. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours,” he said.
I gulped, surprised by his forwardness, and equally surprised by his light-heartedness.
“You first,” I insisted.
“Ladies first,” he replied, nodding at my robe.
“Oh no.” I shook my head. “You’ve done this before, you show me how it’s done.”
“But it’s your first time. That means you should be allowed to experience it first today.”
I breathed deeply, aware that our interchange could last all day if we both continued refusing to take our robes off.
Alex raised his eyebrows as I let my hands trail down the front of my robe to the tie.
“Come closer,” he suggested. His voice was gentle, persuasive, and I dutifully did as he requested. I swallowed hard as I became aware of how close we were to each other. Alex didn’t seem fazed by our proximity; I though, was shaky and distracted.
“No need for everyone to gawk at you, is there?” he added softly as I stood in front of him, staring at the floor.
“You looking at the floor for any particular reason,” he said. “Or are you trying to catch a peak of my crown jewels?”
My nerves were running wild and I couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at the corner of my mouth.
“You only have to ask you know?” he said. There was a lilt of humour in his voice and I couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped me. Unfortunately, I chose that moment to lift my gaze from the floor and look at him.
A huge mistake.
The Alex I had come to love over the past few days was standing in front of me. His eyes swam with warmth and affection—a complete contrast to how they had appeared earlier. I found myself melting into his gaze, but managed to catch myself. Did he think that just because he gave me that look, that I would be putty in his hands again?
“May I?” he asked, his hand reaching for the belt that was now only loosely tied around my waist. “We’re not doing the sex scene yet, you can still talk to me, you know. No gasping or moaning required at the moment.”
His words reminded me of his viciousness. He had threatened to have me escorted off set. Only a few minutes ago, he had referred to me as work experience again. Was I seriously going to let myself forget about the vile things he had said?
I couldn’t believe that I’d been so gullible. I’d seen the way he switched into character for filming. The kindness he was displaying toward me was all part of it. He was already in character. Well, sod him. I wasn’t.
“Get your filthy, grubby hands off me,” I growled.
He froze.
“We’re not doing the sex scene, yet. Don’t dare touch me until then.”
He stepped backward, as if I had slapped him across the face. He frowned, and the softness in his eyes disappeared.
“Are you both ready?” Rowan asked.
Alex spun to face him, before casting his glare around the room. “Why is he here . . . and her?” He pointed toward three unfamiliar members of the crew who were in the studio. “Closed set, remember? Get them out!”
“They’re working the sound,” Rowan explained.
“I don’t give a fuck what they’re working. There are far more people in the studio than there normally is on a closed set. Let’s give Ella some privacy, huh? If they don’t need to be here—get them out.”
What was he doing? Was he trying to make this easier for me, or using my presence as a smoke screen for his own demands?
Rowan wandered over to the people that Alex had ordered to leave, and within a few seconds they were on their way out of the studio. Three more people followed.
There were only six people left in the studio; three camera operators, Rowan, Alex and myself.
“Better?” Rowan asked, scratching the side of his head.
“Much. So unnecessary, don’t you agree, Ella?” Alex spun to face me.
I nodded, surprised at the nice way he was behaving. I was waiting for the switch to flick, again.
“Now, you need to take that robe off and get onto the bed,” Alex said, speaking slowly as if trying to assess my reaction. When I didn’t move, he turned to Rowan. “You know this scene could start off with us fighting before we end up in bed. It might move the action in an even more realistic way. I could just rip the fucking robe off her.”
And he was back. I high-fived my correct assumption of his behaviour whilst wondering why the hell I was doing this. Did I crave his affection so much that I was willing to pretend to make love to him just to have him near?
“Well . . . Ella, what do you—”
“Rowan!” Alex roared. “Are you seriously asking her how this scene should be played. She’s not a real actress. She’s just work experience, remember?”
My nostrils flared, my hands curled into fists, and I narrowed my eyes.
Rowan seemed flustered, as if unable to make up his mind.
Alex blew, his anger spewing free as he continued shouting. “For fuck’s sake, do I have to direct this myself? Camera’s start rolling. Let’s capture the fighting spirit that we need to start this scene off with. Action!”
The whirl of the cameras filled my head.
Alex shrugged, letting his robe drop before he flung it to the side. He turned to face me, his face set in anger. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold his gaze, and my eyes drifted to his crotch.
Holy shit . . .