I didn’t open my laptop that evening; I fell into bed and straight to sleep.
True to his word, Alex picked me up in the morning, his car horn signalling his arrival. Unfortunately, just as Alex had said, Amy played up for the following three days causing filming to finish as late as it had the first night Alex took me home. We still hadn’t had a talk about anything, and I’d managed to keep Alex at arms-length, although it was becoming increasingly difficult to stop myself from reacting to his flirtations and innuendoes. The more I fought against him, the more he seemed to enjoy it.
Whenever there was a break in filming he stood with me, and ignored Amy. He was well behaved, and never pushed me into kissing him on the mouth again, much to the disappointment of my screaming inner fangirl. I had her tightly under control, and allowed myself to enjoy the kisses he frequently placed on my cheek and my forehead.
But tonight, filming had finished at six-o-clock, it seemed that Amy had plans for Saturday evening, and in her eagerness to fulfil her own diary commitments, she forgot about spoiling Alex’s and mine.
We practically ran out of the studio after filming, desperate to get away and spend the evening together. I wanted to get the talk out of the way, but in all honesty, I couldn’t wait to have him in my flat, sitting on my sofa. Just us two—Alex and me—no-one else around. We deserved some privacy.
Alex parked the car outside the house, and I near enough skipped across the small front garden and up the steps to the front door. I rummaged in my bag for my keys.
“I always lose the keys in the bottom of my . . .” My explanation trailed off as I realised Alex wasn’t with me. I looked back at the car just in time to see him step out of it. He was wearing a baseball cap with the brim pulled low over his face.
Seconds later, he was taking the steps two at a time before joining me at the door.
“Is that really necessary?” I asked as I shoved the door with my shoulder.
Alex raised a brow. “You never know who’s around, Ella. I need to be careful.”
I pushed my shoulder against the door again. It remained shut.
“It sticks,” I informed him. He shook his head before joining me with my third shoulder shove. The door opened, swinging inward, revealing the shabby communal hallway. There was opera music playing loudly from the downstairs flat, Carmen, if I wasn’t mistaken.
“I’m upstairs, top floor. There’s no lift, I’m afraid,” I explained as I headed toward the bottom of the stairs. Alex followed me, his eyes darting to the doors that we passed on the other two floors.
“Do you know everyone who lives here?” he asked, as we climbed the final set of narrow stairs.
“Yeah. But not properly. I tend to keep to myself, but they all seem quite nice.”
“There not likely to come calling for a cup of sugar or anything whilst I’m here then?”
“Why? Would it matter if they did?”
I pushed the key into the lock of my door.
“I don’t want anyone to know I’m here.”
I tutted at his remark, letting the door swing open before I stepped inside.
Was I an embarrassment to him? After the snapped moments of time we’d spent together this week, I didn’t think he’d be so cutting.
“Ella, shit, sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Honestly, I have no problem being here with you. But if anyone finds out, the media for instance, then your life will be made absolute Hell. I don’t want that for you.”
I released a breath I’d not realised I’d been holding. Relief flooded through me.
“I’ll throw a blanket over you and you can hide in my wardrobe if anyone calls whilst you’re here,” I said, throwing my bag on the small side table, and reaching for the light switch.
The lights flickered on as Alex closed the door behind him. He scanned the room as I pulled my cardigan off and headed to the kitchen area.
“Bathroom is over there, and the bedroom is next to it,” I directed, waving my hand in their general direction. “I’ll just grab some menus.”
Alex’s gaze followed the direction of my arm before he wandered further into the room. “It’s all very cosy,” he said, heading for the over-stuffed sofa. “I like it. It’s nice. Very you.”
I opened my fridge, double checking what alcohol I had in. I usually kept three bottles of wine in the chiller, and tonight, I needed a drink to steady my building nerves.
“What did you expect it to be like?” I asked, picking the menus out of a drawer.
“I don’t know. But I like the sloping roof, and the sky lights.”
“Well, that’s what you get when you live in the roof,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Are there any normal windows?”
“Yes, just one, in my bedroom.”
“Maybe I’ll get to see it later.” He chuckled, sinking into the sofa.
“Here,” I offered, handing him the menus. “Pick what you want, and I’ll ring it in. Do you want a glass of wine? I’ve not got any beers.”
He yawned. “Whatever you’ve got will be fine, Ella.”
I headed back to the kitchen area and poured two glasses of wine, but I kept stealing surreptitious glances at Alex as he relaxed on my sofa. The make-up he had worn in the studio had all but disappeared, but his eyes had a definite darkness underneath them. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned again.
I’d never imagined that I’d have Alex Denton sitting on my sofa. But it felt right, as if he’d always sat there. I was anxious to set things straight between us, but I also liked the way things were going. I enjoyed his company and the flirty, light-hearted way he teased me. It was incredibly easy to be in his company when he behaved that way.
I moved my hand across the counter, in the direction of the glasses, grinning at my crazy thoughts. Just as I was about to pick them up the lights went out.
“Shit!” I cursed.
“Ella? Are you alright?” Alex called.
“I’m fine. I just need to find my torch, then I’ll feed the meter. You stay there. I don’t want you breaking anything.”
I heard his deep chuckle from across the room. “I’ll not move a muscle.”
I felt my way along the work surface, toward the area where I kept my emergency torch. It was only a matter of seconds before I found it and switched the solitary beam on. I headed toward the table where I’d left my bag, cursing when I opened my purse and realised I had no pound coins.
“Alex, have you got any change on you?” I asked, flashing the torch in his direction.
He lifted his hips off the sofa, and reached into his back pocket.
“Nope,” he said as he opened his wallet. “Just notes, I’m afraid.”
The torch was starting to flicker, and I didn’t have any spare batteries for it.
“Candles,” I whispered. “I have candles.” I rushed back into the kitchen and pulled a drawer open, lighting the interior with the torch beam. An old lighter nestled at the very back of it.
I flashed the torch around the room, locating several candles I had positioned for aesthetic reasons only. Tonight, they would be used in the way they had been intended for.
I lit five of the candles, before taking two of them to the low coffee table in front of the sofa. When I returned to the kitchen, I swapped the torch for the glasses of wine.
“I’m impressed,” Alex said as he took his glass of wine from me. “I’ve never known a woman go to so much trouble to seduce me. I can tell you that it’s very convincing, and it’s working very well. What’s next, Ella?”
“Shut up,” I warned, playfully hitting his arm before I also took a drink of my wine. I curled my legs underneath me, and snuggled into the corner of my end of the sofa. Alex sunk back into the opposite corner of the sofa, closing his eyes. I took the opportunity to have a proper look at him. Usually, when we looked at each other our eyes were either locked in a battle of staring, or we were silently challenging each other to say something. This was different. The flickering light from the nearby candles cast surreal shadows across his face, but it was still easy to see his pronounced sharp jaw line. His chin was starting to show some stubble even though Erin had shaved the growth away earlier this morning.
The years I had spent watching his movies, following his movements and interviews on YouTube and twitter suddenly seemed like a life-time ago. He was here, in my home, on my sofa. Not only was he here, but he also seemed to genuinely like me. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he had kissed me the other day. I lifted my fingers to my mouth, repeating an action I had done many times since then.
“Ella?” Alex’s soft voice broke my concentration. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Sorry.” I swallowed quickly, desperately trying to think of something to say. Alex leaned toward me, the menus falling from his knee.
“You’re just mesmerised by my outstanding good looks. I can tell,” he said, grabbing the menus from the floor. “Right, let me pick what we’re going to eat. Have you any preference?”
I had never been more grateful to a handful of take-away menus in my life. It had given him something to concentrate on, and rescued me from an awkward situation.
“You order what you want. I’m not all that hungry,” I told him, unable to imagine what it would be like to actually sit and eat with him. The whole evening had turned into something I hadn’t expected.
“I need the bathroom,” I said, feeling the need to put some space between us, even if it was just for a few minutes. He gave me a small smile, before turning back to the menus.
“I fancy pizza,” he decided out loud.
I picked one of the candles from the table and headed toward the bathroom. “Did you want a shower tonight? Because you’ll not be able to now,” I said. “Well, not unless you fancy a cold . . .” I suddenly realised what I was about to say.
“A cold shower.” Alex’s shoulders shook as he began to laugh. “I must say, your seduction technique keeps surprising me. It’s quite unique. Have you had much success with it over the years?”
I was incredibly grateful for the subdued light that the candles offered. I could feel my face burning bright red. “You . . . you know what I mean.”
“I do.”
“And I’m not trying to seduce you,” I told him, trying to gain the upper hand. “You are here to talk about Amy. Explain what happened so you can at long last try to get the anger you feel about it all out of your system.”
A scowl covered his face, and I instantly regretted my words. “Sorry,” I offered, as if that one word would make everything alright. I wanted to hit myself repeatedly for what I’d just said.
“No, it’s okay. I guess I forgot why I’m here.” His spoke quietly and looked back at the menu in his hand.
I shut the bathroom door, did my business, and washed my hands. The mirror above the sink unfortunately offered a less than pretty reflection. Being on set under the hot lights had obviously taken its toll on my dull complexion. I splashed water on my face before heading back into the room.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Alex said.
“What?” I was worried he was about to leave.
“I’ve changed my mind about eating. I’m not all that hungry, and I think that getting drunk with you will be far more enjoyable than eating by myself.”
I sighed with relief that he wasn’t going to leave, and then internally questioned why that thought had suddenly panicked me the way it had.
“Sit down, Ella. You wanted to know exactly what happened with Amy. I’ll tell you. Rowan didn’t tell you the whole story, because there are only three people that know the truth; Amy, Simon and me. You will be the fourth.”
I sat down, not taking my eyes off him.
He rubbed his forehead. “I hope you’ve got more wine in the kitchen. This is going to be a long night.”
I picked up my glass, and sipped slowly at the cold liquid. Alex’s carefree and jovial mood had disappeared. He was frowning, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
“Hey,” I said, trying to reassure him. “Whatever you say will go no further. And I think I’ve already got a rough idea about what happened. Don’t look so stressed.” I wanted to reach out to him and hug him, but something stopped me.
He shrugged. “You have no idea how difficult this is. To tell you what actually happened.”
“Rowan’s already blabbed the main story.”
He shook his head. “No, he hasn’t. There’s a lot more to it than what Rowan told you. I’m just trying to work out where to start with the madness of it all. It’s not something I want to spend time thinking about.”
“I think you need to.” I could sense how uneasy he was about telling me everything. I couldn’t decide whether it was because he still wasn’t sure if he could trust me, or because he was still hurting about what had happened.
“Let me top these glasses up first,” he said.
His tall, lanky frame strolled over to the kitchen. He opened the fridge before returning with the bottle of wine. He topped my glass up before tipping his own glass back against his lips and drinking what was left. After refilling his glass, he placed the empty bottle on the table with the flickering candles and sat next to me. Leaning forward, he stared at the floor.
“I’ll start with a bit of my history. I think that’s the best place to begin. You should know what sort of man I really am, not rely on what the tabloids print.” He sighed before taking a deep exaggerated breath. “I’d only had two girlfriends when I was thrown into the world of Starshine. I’d acted a bit in a few films before, but that was my first major one.”
I nodded, knowing about his acting accreditation’s. It was all well documented. I hadn’t known about his girlfriends though, and was a little bit surprised by his admittance. It wasn’t because I thought he’d slept with lots of women, I’d just presumed that anyone who had been involved with him would have been hunted down by the media and offered huge amounts of cash to kiss-and-tell. There were many stories about him, but I didn’t believe them—there was never any evidence. He had just confirmed my thoughts.
Alex was hot news. Anything he did was photographed by the paparazzi, and anyone he was seen with was hounded by them. I swallowed hard, suddenly understanding why he had acted so shifty when he got out of the car earlier.
There was no shortage of women coming forward these days, selling their stories about their one night of passion with the super, sexy Alex Denton. It hadn’t been all that long ago that they had published a story every week about the different women he’d supposedly slept with.
“My two girlfriends were old school friends, girls I’d known all my life. Still do. Barbara was the first girl I slept with. We were both sixteen. She was nice. She’s married now, got three kids, and living in Australia. She texts me every so often, tells me what a brat I’m being.” He lifted his head and looked at me briefly, smiling. “She always did put me in my place.”
“I think you must have always needed reminding,” I replied.
He nodded and then continued. “Claire was my second girlfriend. She was a stunning girl. Lots of blonde hair, and she had a sweet nature. But I had to move to America for filming. It sort of all fell apart. I was gone too long. The spark wasn’t there when I returned. It’s funny really. She’s in America now and I’m back here.
“Then Starshine happened. It introduced me to Amy. We were both quite young, although the world we live in forces people to grow up quickly. I suppose it was almost inevitable that Amy, just turned eighteen, and myself, an impressionable twenty-one-year-old, would fall for each other whilst acting the deep emotional scenes that the first film demanded from us. I fell hard. I thought she was amazing. She was strong, determined, a bit stubborn, but she had a kind side as well.”
I couldn’t help myself as I snorted. I didn’t understand how Alex could ever have thought that.
We made eye contact momentarily and then he looked back at the floor.
“Things happened quickly,” he said. “We moved in together, and . . . well, you probably know the rest. Our story was a dream for the Starshine publicity machine. It couldn’t have been planned any better. We were hot news, particularly at the premier of the first film.”
He leaned forward even more, his hand resting on the back of his neck as he rocked on the sofa. His voice quietened. “I never suspected a thing. There were no obvious clues that anything was wrong.” He stopped talking, obviously struggling with the memory.
This time I didn’t hesitate, and I moved forward, reaching out to him as I placed my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, hurt and desperation written all over his face.
“That’s when she told me she was pregnant.”
“Pregnant!” My voice shook. “She was pregnant?”
He turned away from my scrutiny.
“I remember how I felt. It was unbelievable. I was scared, but at the same time, extremely excited. I was going to be a dad. It had been a mistake, but I was overjoyed with the news.”
“Mistake?” I queried.
He nodded. “We’d been using protection, but . . . well, something let us down.”
“Shit,” I breathed. Amy had never appeared to be pregnant in real life. Something must have happened to the baby. My thumb rubbed his shoulder, trying to offer him some comfort.
“It was an incredible week for me. I was on a high, constantly smiling about the news, desperately wanting to tell everyone. But Amy wasn’t happy about it. In fact, from the moment she told me she was pregnant, was when everything went wrong.”
He picked his glass of wine up, and took a long slurp of it before placing it back down on the table. Turning to face me, he lifted his hand to rest over mine.
“A week later, I returned home from a meeting and was greeted by packed suitcases piled up in the hall.”
“She threw you out?” I gasped.
“No, hardly. It was my house. They were her cases, her belongings. And she was with a man I had never seen before.”
“Simon,” I said, second guessing the situation he would have been confronted with.
He sucked in his bottom lip. “Yep. Simon.”
My spare hand rose to cover my mouth. Not only had she left him for someone else, she had also been pregnant with his . . .
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “The baby was Simons?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea. You see, when I returned home that day, she told me that she was leaving, she was moving in with Simon. She said that she had never loved me, and had been seeing Simon for months. I was shocked, stunned even, that she would do that. I told her that I didn’t care about her unfaithfulness. I still loved her. As far as I was concerned she was pregnant with my child. I wanted her and the baby.
“She told me that she had no idea whether the baby was mine or Simons. I begged, Ella, I begged her to stay. It didn’t matter that the baby could have been his. I told her that I’d still treat it as mine.” He paused, and I let him gather his thoughts. “She laughed. Told me how pathetic I was to consider taking on another man’s child.”
“Alex, I’m so sorry.”
“How could she? I mean, I loved her so much.”
“I have no idea how she could be so cruel.”
His eyes were glistening with tears, and I couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Come here,” I said as I pulled him toward me. He leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder.
“I shut myself away from everyone after she left. It was four weeks until the filming of Sunspark started. I tried to contact her every day, but she never answered her phone, and never returned my calls.” His arm curled around my waist as I lifted my hand to the back of his head. My fingers found the softness of the hairs at the nape of his neck and before I was aware of what I was doing I found myself rubbing my fingers through his hair. He snuggled against my shoulder even more.
“On the first day of filming, I headed straight to her dressing room. I was desperate to see her, to check that she was okay, and to find out how the baby was doing. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that she’d got rid of the baby. Because the baby could have been mine, she terminated the pregnancy.”
I shook my head in disbelief at what he was telling me. “I have no understanding of how she could behave like that, or do such an awful thing.” My hand twisted even more through his hair whilst my other tightened around his waist. “Did Simon approve of her actions? Didn’t he try to stop her? I mean it could have been his child she was pregnant with.”
“I’ve no idea. I’ve never spoken to him. He obviously loves her, and I think that she loves him. Maybe with them, it’s how it used to be between me and her at the beginning. He must know what he’s dealing with. Good luck to him.”
“Well let’s hope she doesn’t do the same to him.”
“To be honest, I don’t care if she does. Let him see how it feels to be on the receiving end of it all.”
“That’s a bit harsh,” I added. Alex knew what he had been through. He surely couldn’t wish it on anyone else. Not even Simon.
“Maybe, but I’m being honest. I don’t care about either of them after what they did.”
We sat holding each other for several silent minutes. I was reeling from shock at what he had told me, and Alex seemed to be taking his time to compose himself. It must have taken a lot of courage for him to re-live the events that he had just described. It was as if I was at last beginning to understand who the real Alex Denton was.
“This is nice,” he said. “I like being here with you, Ella.”
I replied honestly, not allowing myself time to think of an appropriate response. “I like it as well.”
He tipped his face to look at me. “So, what do we do about it? Where do we go from here?” he asked.