38
“Tell me what I’m supposed to do with it.”
I shook my head, keeping my mouth fastened as I held in my laughter.
“Okay, what is it, then?” He held up the liquid foundation and inspected the bottle. “Okay, it says foundation, so, I’m supposed to put it…shit, this is a set-up. There’s no way I can get this right. Damn, I said shit. Edit that out.”
I burst into laughter. “You also said damn.”
“Shit! You know I curse when I’m frustrated.”
“And when you’re happy and when you have sex, watch TV, brush your teeth—”
He smirked. “Ha, ha, ha. What am I supposed to put this on your face with? Sponge or brush?”
“Ryan, for the fifth time, I can’t tell you.”
He sighed, grabbed a brush, and poured foundation on it, then slathered it on my face. We were filming a “Boyfriend Does My Make-up” video, and I was sure it was going to surpass the hair-washing video’s views, because so far, Ryan’s attempt at applying my make-up had been hilarious.
“Angie, how could I possibly do this right? I mean, look at how much make-up you’ve got!”
“You’re supposed to have paid attention when I was doing my make-up in the past, then you’d know.”
“Man…”
“And hurry up. It’s getting late and you have work in the morning.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
He grabbed the liquid eyeliner and stared at it.
“Poor baby. You wanna watch me do my make-up tomorrow and film afterwards?”
“You letting me cheat?”
“Yep.”
“Shit, thank you.”
A few minutes later, a little after 11:00 PM, I had scrubbed my face clean and we were in bed. Four hours after that, Ryan slid his arm off my waist, waking me up.
“Where you going?” I groggily asked.
“Someone’s at your door.”
“Oh, what time is it?”
“Three.”
“In the morning?”
“Yeah.”
Whoever it was rang the doorbell and knocked again.
I moved to get up.
“No,” Ryan said. “I got it.”
“No, it’s my house.”
“Your ass is not answering the door at this time of morning.”
“Who do you think answered it before you started sleeping here?”
“I hope you didn’t answer it at all this late.”
More knocking.
Ryan left the room, and I was right behind him. He checked the peephole, glanced back at me, and shrugged.
“What?” I whispered.
“It’s some dude.”
“Let me see.”
He moved back, and my eyes widened when I saw the haggard man on the other side. I reached for the knob, but Ryan clamped his hand over mine, keeping me from opening the door.
“What are you doing?” he asked in a harsh whisper.
“Letting him in. It’s my father.”
*****
My daddy was tall and pretty fit for his age other than his slightly bulging waistline. He was handsome, too, even though he looked like he’d missed several nights of sleep. I sat across from him at my kitchen table and stared at him. His eyes were on the table, as were his hands. He folded them and sighed.
I was about to say something when Ryan placed cups of coffee before me and Daddy, then kissed my cheek and left us alone.
Daddy cleared his throat, and said, “He seems nice.”
“He is,” I replied.
“He, uh, living here with you now?”
“Sort of.”
“Hmm.”
“Daddy, why—”
“I need you to talk to your mama for me, convince her to take me back.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I need your help, Angie. You’re the only one who can do it. Renee’s got that husband taking up her time. And Nicky? She won’t answer my calls.”
“Daddy, why didn’t you just call me?”
“Baby girl, I don’t think I have your number.”
As I sat there and thought about it, I didn’t have his number, either. All communication went through Mama. Man, my family was truly screwed up.
“Daddy. I don’t want to get in the middle of this…”
“But will you?”
I sighed. “To be honest, I don’t want her to take you back.”
He frowned as he leaned forward. “What? You don’t want us back together?”
“No.”
“Angie!”
“Daddy, I’ve watched you mistreat her my whole life. I’m not going to help you hurt her more than you already have.”
He stared at me like I’d spoken a foreign language or something.
“Why are you out so late, anyway?” I asked.
He fell back in his chair. “I have a little place across town where I’ve been staying and I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to try to talk to your Mother. She wouldn’t even open the door. She wouldn’t let me in my own house.” He dropped his head, and when he looked up at me, there were tears in his eyes. “I messed up. I see that now. I guess I thought she’d never leave me. All these years…”
I leaned forward. “Do you love her, Daddy?”
He nodded. “With all my heart.”
“Then why did you treat her like that all those years?”
“I don’t feel right discussing that with you.”
“But you feel right coming over here in the middle of the night, waking me up to ask me to be your spokeswoman?”
He blew out a breath. “I don’t know why, Angie. Okay? I don’t know why.”
“Then maybe you need to figure it out and try to fix it before you talk to Mama. Get some help or something.”
I sat there for a few minutes, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t, so I said, “Daddy, Ryan has work in the morning. If you want, you can have the guest bed.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ll just go back to my place. Um…Angie, you know I love you, don’t you?”
“Honestly?” I closed my eyes, wondering why I was suddenly feeling emotional. I thought for a long time my relationship, or lack of a relationship, with my father didn’t bother me. It was just a part of the fabric of my life. I knew it affected my relationships with men, but it never occurred to me that it affected me, and that it hurt me so deeply.
“Honestly?” I repeated. “I don’t know, Daddy. There was a time when I was little that I felt it. Back then, I knew you loved me. But the older I got, I wondered if you even remembered that I existed. When you were leaving Mama alone for days, weeks at a time, you were leaving me and Nay and Nicky, too.”
“Angie…despite anything I might’ve done, I love you, baby girl. I always have and always will. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”
“But you don’t even know me, Daddy.” My voice cracked and I lost the battle with my tears.
Daddy reached across the table and tightly grasped my hands. “I do. I do know you.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t know Renee or Nicky, either. You don’t even know Mama. All you know is Strickland motors and whatever else it is you spend your time on. I bet you have no idea what I do for a living.”
“You make videos about hair.”
I gasped.
“See, I do know. But I’m sorry for making you feel…forgotten.”
“You don’t even know my phone number, probably only know my address because I’ve lived here since I left home. Daddy, I just…”
“I hurt you. I hurt all of you. I understand that now. But I was just trying to provide and—”
I shook my head. “If you’re going to do this, if your intention is to make things right, make them better, then don’t sit there and insult my intelligence. You didn’t neglect your entire family just for Strickland Motors. You were cheating; you’re probably living with a woman now. Got your daughters all screwed up in the head when it comes to men.”
I’d evidently raised my voice, because I could hear Ryan’s footsteps approaching. A second later, he stuck his head in the kitchen doorway, and said, “Ang, everything okay?”
I nodded, afraid I’d cry again if I spoke.
He stood there a good minute before I heard his footsteps retreat.
Daddy smiled. “Well, I don’t know about any of the other men you might’ve dealt with, but that one loves you.”
“I know. Daddy, it’s late and he’s not going to go back to bed as long as—”
“I’m going to leave, baby girl. I just want to make it clear that I love you. I want us to talk some more, clear the air, so…why don’t you call my office tomorrow. You know that number, right?”
I nodded.
“Okay, call the office and we’ll talk some more, exchange cell numbers. I’m gonna do better by you and your sisters no matter what happens between me and your mother.”
“That’d be nice, Daddy.”
I walked him to the front door, and he pulled me into a hug, whispered, “I’m sorry…for everything,” and left. When I closed the door and turned around, Ryan was standing in the living room.
“Baby, you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
As I fell into his arms and cried, I said, “No.”