Cade paced outside the hospital room where they had taken Anya for examination. So far, he’d heard nothing, but he was reassured by the physical exam he’d conducted as they had waited for a helicopter to airlift her to the capital and safety. She hadn’t appeared injured, so he dared hope it was shock that had made her collapse.
As he completed what felt like his millionth circuit of the path in front of her room, the door opened to allow the exit of the diminutive physician who had entered the room thirty minutes before. She paused before him, her hijab shielding her hair, but revealing her compassionate eyes.
“How is she, Dr. Jabari?”
She smiled. “She will be fine, Mr. Jackson. Stress, a little malnutrition and dehydration, and likely some shock from the rescue overwhelmed Miss Bonner. After some rest and rehydration, she will be fine and permitted to leave.”
Relief swept through him. “How long do you plan to keep her, doctor?”
“Perhaps no more than overnight.”
“I’d like to see her.” He frowned when she shook her head. “Please, doctor. She’s my…” Missing half, the hole in my heart that never fills, my lover. “…stepsister.”
The tiny woman held up her hand. “I am sorry, but no visitors will be permitted tonight. Your sister requires rest and tranquility. You will see her tomorrow.” Her firm voice and tight expression left no doubt she wouldn’t negotiate.
Feeling discouraged and aching to see Anya again, he reluctantly left the hospital and took a room at the nearest inn. Being located centrally to the government, it had benefited from the protection of the peacekeepers, allowing the owners to redress the damages. The cozy little place was clean and quiet, especially compared to the conditions of the past few weeks while searching for Anya. He could easily picture her in the small room, curled up on the bed in his arms.
He ached to hold her, but it wasn’t a purely physical urge. Cade needed time with her to reassure himself she was alive and whole. He also had to make amends, because he wasn’t letting her go again.
***
Anya didn’t know how to act with Cade when he escorted her from the hospital the next day. She allowed her mental weakness to influence her, soaking up his proximity by leaning heavily against him as he walked her two blocks from the hospital to a cozy inn. It occurred to her as they reached the room that they were probably sharing.
Her assumption was confirmed by him following her inside and closing the door behind them with a soft click. Her worn backpack was on the foot of the bed, clearly fetched from her quarters at the aid station, and his duffel bag was on the small table near the bed. There was no other furniture, so she reluctantly sat on the edge of the bed.
He hovered near her, kneeling down in not-quite-touching distance. “Can I get you something? Water? Food?”
“An explanation would be nice.” Anya ran her hand through her hair, washed at the hospital in a pan bath that left it still feeling greasy. “Or a shower, and then an explanation.”
“There’s a communal bathroom in the hall. Just a tub. Sorry.” He grimaced, looking like he wanted to hold onto her as she got to her feet, but hesitating.
Leaving him to his own uncertainty, she took a nightgown from her backpack, deciding she deserved a day of lazing around in bed—after Cade vacated the room. She found the bathroom easily enough and locked the doors.
Though the tub was tiny, it was heaven to immerse herself in hot water after two weeks of living rough as a hostage of the Anti-Balaka. She washed her hair twice, thankful they had left a simple homemade shampoo for guests, since she hadn’t thought to grab any toiletries from the stash in her bag. The handmade soap was irregularly shaped, but with creaminess that suggested a goat’s milk base. It was almost like being at a spa after her experience.
When she finally felt clean, she drained the cooled water, dried off with a rough towel she found in a cupboard, and slipped on her nightgown. It was modest enough for a quick dart down the hallway, and she didn’t run into anyone on the way.
She smothered a groan at the sight of Cade sprawled on the full bed, his even breathing suggesting he was deeply asleep. Part of her wanted to march across the room and kick his ass onto the floor so she could rest comfortably. The weak, emotionally attached side of her wanted to snuggle up against him and enjoy the bliss of sleeping with her lover.
Former lover, she reminded herself ruthlessly. He’d made his choice, and she had made hers. The anger propelled her across the room, but she froze at the bedside. The ire drained from her, and she slowly sank onto the surprisingly soft mattress.
They had both screwed it up before. She’d had plenty of time the past two weeks to mull over her regrets, and Cade had been at the top of the list. It was ironic that she had worried about his safety all that time, but she had ended up the one in extreme danger.
She shook her head, unable to stifle the urge to push his longish hair off his forehead. His eyes fluttered, and the sparkling blue colliding with hers unfurled a familiar heat low in her belly. God, how she had missed this man, and how she wanted to lose herself in his arms, even for just a little bit.
Seizing the moment, she stretched out beside him.
“Anya, do—”
She interrupted the question by claiming his mouth for a long, gentle kiss. It was achingly familiar, but also strangely new as their mouths learned each other all over again. Cade wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer, and she pushed him onto his back as she straddled him.
He tossed her nightgown away after she lifted it over her head. With a grunt, Cade cupped her breasts in his hands, his thumbs circling her sensitive nipples. “I’ve dreamed about this so many times,” he said gruffly.
She nodded, deciding to forget about pride, at least for the moment. Leaning forward, she pressed her palms to his pecs. “I’ve missed you so much, Cade.”
“I love you, Anya.”
The simple, stark truth of his words was in his eyes. It hurt to see it, because she knew it was true, but it was also true he had chosen the military over her. Shoving aside that pang, she focused instead on feeling good, letting her hands wander where they could reach as he continued massaging her breasts.
She writhed against him, impatient for his camouflage cargo pants to disappear. Tenaciously, she managed to slide and scoot until she could reach the waistband. In seconds, she had the pants skimming down his hips and giggled when he lifted his butt, almost dislodging her in the process.
His hands clamped onto the outsides of her thighs to hold her on him, and she had to settle for leaving his pants around his knees. It didn’t matter, since she could reach what she wanted.
As though he’d read her mind, or perhaps because he had a similar need, Cade lifted and spun her around so her bottom was facing his face. She moaned low in her throat when he lifted her hips to change her angle, and his tongue slipped inside her folds.
She bent her head to taste him, licking away a drop of pearlescent arousal leaking from the tip. Cade’s groan of pleasure vibrated through her core when she took his length in her mouth, rubbing the broadside of her tongue against the spot that always drove him wild.
She took as much of his erection into her mouth as she could, until he brushed the back of her throat. Anya just held him there as he licked her with unrestrained hunger that mirrored her own desperation.
As her core contracted with the beginnings of her release, he pushed her down onto the bed. With either expertise or incredible luck fueled by his need, he was behind her less than a second later, the head of his cock pushing against her wet heat.
“I love you, Anya,” he said again, grasping a handful of her damp hair to drag her head back. As he claimed her, his mouth nuzzled the bend of her neck, his teeth raking lightly over her skin.
“I love you too, Cade.” She almost sobbed the confession, hating what it meant even as she rejoiced in having him back again. Admitting she still loved him meant accepting his military career and her secondary place in his life. Still, after months apart and nearly dying at the hands of fanatics, she grasped it was better to have him under less-than-ideal circumstances than not at all.
He set a rapid, hard pace that was just what she needed. She met Cade’s every thrust, pushing back against him as he dominated her. Anya couldn’t pretend she didn’t enjoy his forceful lovemaking, clearly meant to stake his claim and remind her she belonged to him. It was fine, because he belonged to her too.
When he came inside her, the first jets of his arousal triggered the release she had been hovering on the edge of since before he entered her. Anya cried out his name as she came, her sheath clenching around him as he continued spilling his seed inside her.
At some point, they collapsed together onto the bed, barely managing to disengage from each other before curling close together. Sleep tried to steal over her, but she fought it, not content to let things remain unspoken any longer. “Why are you here, Cade?”
“The Army gave me leave.”
She suppressed a yawn. “But why did you come?”
He tipped her chin upward, cupping it in his large hand. “You know why, Anya. I love you. I never should have let you go eighteen months ago, and I sure as hell couldn’t stand by waiting for someone else to maybe find you.”
“But nothing’s really changed,” she whispered, her heart breaking at the thought.
“Yeah, it has. I know I’m not letting you go again. I’ll do anything you ask of me. I’ll go shit on the Joint Chiefs’ desk if you want, to prove I’m serious about getting out.” His lips crooked up in a playful smile. “Besides, I’ve been AWOL for about seven days, so I’m sure Uncle Sam is going to tell me to get out. I hope you don’t mind visiting me in Leavenworth.”
Her eyes widened at the surprising news. “You just left the Army without permission? My god, Cade, you’re in so much trouble.”
“I don’t care.” He shrugged. “Nothing was as important as you.” He lowered his head while raising her chin to press a kiss to her mouth before speaking again. “I just wish I’d figured that out a long time ago, baby.”
“Me too.” She placed her hand on his stomach. “I hate the Army, and I hate the fear that comes with it, but I was stupid to decide I’d rather not have you at all than have you as a soldier. Can you forgive me?”
He kissed her again. “I already have, and I hope you can forgive me for not honoring my promise. I meant to, but then the paperwork was there, and I couldn’t help thinking about the people in my unit. I didn’t want to let them down, but I never wanted to hurt you either.”
She sniffed back tears. “I think we both hurt each other, but we’ve learned from that in our time apart. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“So, you don’t mind prison visits to Leavenworth?”
She tried to hide her fear. “Are they conjugal?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, baby. I guess we’ll find out.”
Laying her head on his chest, she asked, “Will they really kick you out and send you to prison?”
He hesitated. “I don’t know. I’ve never gone AWOL before.”
She fell silent for a few minutes before a giggle erupted. “I have a plan.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”