I woke up when I felt myself being carried from the truck. “Jack?”

“I’m here. Go back to sleep.”

I was awake all at once, though. I wiggled around, but Jack still didn’t put me down. He held me tighter and pressed his lips against the side of my head. I wasn’t doing a very good job at staying mad at him because as soon as he did that, I curled into his chest even more and wrapped my arm around his neck.

“I got us a room for the night. We’ll start scouting tomorrow morning.”

“You’ll let me help?”

He stiffened. “Against my better judgement. Yes.”

I smiled, despite his burly attitude. “Thank you. Where are we?”

“A hotel, downtown. I used to stay here when I was with the DEA.”

He carried me into the lobby, and it attracted multiple sets of eyes. I felt my face turning red and buried it in Jack’s neck.

He chuckled. “I didn’t take you for the shy type.”

I grunted. “Why? Because I’m a stripper?”

He grunted back at me. “You love reminding me of that.”

We got to the elevator and thankfully were alone. “You’re ridiculously freaked out by the idea of me stripping. Why?”

He put me down and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I’m not freaked out. I just…fucking hate the idea of assholes watching you.”

“You’re jealous.”

“Not jealous.”

“You’re so jealous! It’s written all over your face. I didn’t take you for the jealous type, Jack.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, he shook his head. “I’m not. Are you ready to talk about earlier?”

I blew out a heavy sigh and looked away. “What’s there to talk about?”

“I shouldn’t have said that to you. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you anywhere near this. One slip up and you’re gone. I’ve seen it happen before. It doesn’t take much. I turn my back for one second and then Snake snatches you away. If something happened to you because of me, I’d never be able to live with myself.”

My heart thumped painfully, but I ignored it. No way was I getting emotional. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’ll be safe.”

He let go of me and rubbed his hands down his face. “I sure as fuck plan on making sure you’re safe. I’m sorry if it’s overbearing, but I’d be sorrier if something happened to you. You can hate me, but I’m going to make sure you’re alive to be able to hate me at the end of the day.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that, and the elevator door opened, so I just let it sit between us. Jack led us to the room and opened the door to a nice-sized hotel room with one king-size bed. I looked up at him and then at the bed. He just shrugged and put his bag down.

I grabbed a set of clothes out of my bag and headed toward the bathroom. “I’m going to shower. Do you need the bathroom first?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m just going to rest for a second.”

I frowned. He looked exhausted. I felt awful for him. He’d lost a teammate and possibly a friend. I didn’t even know.

I took a fast shower and then brushed my teeth before dressing in a long T-shirt. When I entered the room again, I noticed Jack had fallen asleep on top of the covers on the bed. I took a moment to stare at him, looking completely at peace. He was beautiful.

I found the extra blanket in the closet and draped it over Jack, in case he got cold. Then, I turned all the lights off and crawled under the blankets on my own side. It didn’t take me long to fall into a cycle of nightmares about Snake.

*

Jack woke me up in the middle of the night and forced me to get dressed. I barely managed to get my legs into my jeans without falling back to sleep. The few hours I’d gotten hadn’t been enough, especially with the nightmares.

Jack, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to run a marathon. Dressed in another one of his signature outfits, his hair was wet from a shower and he smelled amazing. It didn’t make any sense. I’d used the same soap he had, yet I knew I didn’t smell anywhere near as good as he did.

“What?”

I realized I’d been staring at him and shook myself out of it. “Nothing. I assume we’re heading to the clubhouse?”

He nodded. “I want to scout around and see if there’s anything that sticks out.”

I adjusted my air vent in the truck and shivered. “I’m freezing.”

Jack rolled down his window and turned the air off. “Better?”

I rubbed my arms and shook my head. “It’s just a chill. I can’t shake it.”

He reached over and cupped the back of my neck. “This is the first time you’ve been back to the clubhouse in a while?”

I shivered again. “Yeah. Not long enough.”

“Was it ever not horrible?” He cleared his throat. “I just can’t imagine you living in that hell for so long.”

“It was never not miserable. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t wish I could leave. I was just terrified. He’s crazy. I knew it would be worse if I left. And it was. After you busted the place and he found me, it was daily shit. And I knew what it was like to be free, so I felt like I was dying, being trapped again. I didn’t know if I would make it.”

“But you did.”

I laughed a bitter laugh. “That’s still to be seen, isn’t it?”

“It’ll be over soon. I’m going to make sure this is all over, Red.”

“I hope so.” I looked out the window at Jackson flying by and tried to feel even an ounce of joy to see my home city again. There was nothing. “How is it that you can live in a place for so long and it still never feels like home?”

With a light squeeze to my neck, he slid his hand down and held my hand. “It’s easier than it should be. I felt that way about Jackson while I was here. I felt that way about every place I was until I settled in Memphis again with my brothers.”

I traced my finger along the window, following building after building. “After Snake, there’s no one else connected to my childhood. No one who will remember my mom. No one who will remember me. Not really. There are two people in this town who would be sad if I faded away. One, if you don’t count Carly, since she’s in the hospital because of me. And Margie is used to my coming and going. I’m a ghost in this place. Almost two hundred thousand people in this city, and here I am.”

Jack was quiet until he parked the truck a block away from the clubhouse. “You have people in Memphis.”

I was afraid to get into what his words meant, so I just sat up straighter in my seat and looked toward the clubhouse. “Will we be able to see anything from here?”

“We can see if anyone is coming or going. But, we’ll have to get closer eventually. The guys should be here soon, too. They hung around the office for a while, making sure things looked normal.”

We sat in silence, watching the clubhouse as best we could. The radio was off, so I had all the focus in the world to think about Jack and what was happening.

“What made you leave the DEA?”

He looked over at me, and then back out the windshield. “It’ll probably sound bad, but I was sick of following all the rules. I’m all for the law, but when it’s obvious it’s not going to help, I like to handle things…a different way.”

“Like Brent?”

He nodded. “It just works better sometimes to get your hands dirty. We’re working around criminals in our jobs. Manners don’t always get us very far.”

I lifted the binoculars and checked out the area again. “I get it. Clean living isn’t for everyone.”

“Is it for you?”

I handed them over to him. “I don’t feel comfortable around people who are good all the time. I want to be, but I was raised by a drug addict and then forced into a life of crime and dirt. I hated those people, but I got used to their ways. What you and Brent do makes sense to me.”

“Do you want to live a normal life?”

I thought of what normal meant for most people. “Two point five children with a white picket fence? Marriage, church, school, work… I don’t think so. I haven’t really thought about any of it, though. I never knew if I was going to live until the weekend, much less long enough to have children. What about you?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really stopped to think about it.”

I turned to face him and watched as he shifted in his seat. “Why not?”

“I’ve been busy.” He opened the glove box and pulled out a gun. “This one’s for you. Don’t shoot me in the back.”

“Now, why would I ever do that?”

“Come on. Let’s go check this place out. We’re going in quiet and staying that way. The gun is an emergency only solution. Got it?”

I nodded. “Decided you’d rather sneak around a biker clubhouse than have that conversation, huh?”

He chuckled and then pulled me into a bone-melting kiss. His tongue slid into my mouth and I moaned as his taste overwhelmed me. With one last gentle nip to my lips, he pulled back and grinned at me. “I can think of something else we could do.”

I removed my hands, which had somehow ended up on his thighs, and rolled my eyes. “Let’s get to work.”

“Are you sure? Because these seats recline.”

“I have a gun.”

“And I have an erection.”

I laughed, despite myself, and slapped his arm. “Shut up. Come on. Get serious. We’re supposed to be sneaking up on people or something.”

With a heavy sigh, he pocketed the keys and then got out of the truck. “Alright, but if things go to hell, just remember what I wanted to do.”

We crept toward the clubhouse, Jack in front and me in the back. The closer we got, the worse I felt. I had goosebumps rolling all over and my stomach had dropped straight to my feet. My heart was pounding so hard I didn’t know if I’d be able to hear any commands Jack gave.

“I don’t know if I can do this, after all, Jack. I think I’m going to throw up.”

He turned around and quietly pinned me against the side of another abandoned warehouse. “You can do it. I need you here, Red. If you don’t have my back, we’re going back to the truck and we’ll wait for my team. Make a decision.”

I glanced at the clubhouse, which was only a few feet away at that point, and blew out a rough breath. “Fine. I can do it. Come on.”

He cupped my cheek and then was gone, back in the shadows. He moved like a ghost, barely appearing, even to me. Jack in the field was a huge aphrodisiac. His body was graceful as he glided toward his target.

We moved along the entire perimeter of the clubhouse, only seeing two men inside through the windows in the back. I recognized one as Bust’er Calhoun and the other wore a leather with no patches, so I figured he was a prospect. Bust’er was about as evil as they came. I saw no problems in lighting the building on fire with him inside. He was one of the first brothers to take my mother for a ride.

When we were back at the truck, Jack looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I like that look on your face.”

I shrugged. “It’s a war, right? I just don’t know if I’d cry if the big guy ended up being a casualty.”

Jack nodded. “I get it. One step at a time, though. The team will be here in a bit. We do this safely. I don’t want to lose anyone else or draw the attention of authorities just yet.”

“Okay. We wait. Then we burn this fucker to the ground.”