“Can we go to the park today, Mommy?”

I rolled over, snatching Noah’s arms and tugging him up onto the bed with me. “Is that what you want to do?”

“It’d be more fun than laying on the couch all day.”

“You know we’re doing that because you need rest.”

“I feel better.”

I smoothed the hair from his forehead and kissed him. “I’m glad you feel better.”

Noah was quiet, snuggling up against my chest as we lay among the sleep-warmed blankets on my bed. It reminded me of all the times we’d snuggled like this when he was an infant and a toddler. It’d been a while since he’d wanted to sit still long enough to do this. Or maybe my life had just been too crazy for me to take the time to sit and cuddle with my boy.

That was a shame.

“How come my dad hasn’t been around lately?”

And there went the little bit of joy that had begun to settle around us.

I didn’t know how to answer that question. How do you explain to a kid commitment and betrayal, jealousy and deceit? I didn’t know how to explain it to myself, let alone to Noah.

“He’s been busy.”

“He didn’t even come see me in the hospital.”

“I told you, he was there. He just had to leave.”

“Why?”

I shook my head. Noah had met his uncles and his aunt, had spent hours talking video games with Aiden and Bo, talking school and girls with Raelyn and Dane. He’d been a little celebrity the twenty-four hours he’d been in the hospital. I’d hoped he hadn’t noticed Gentry’s absence. Clearly he had.

“Your father has a lot going on right now. But you get to see him tonight.”

“Really?”

“We’re going to your uncle Jack’s house for dinner tonight.”

Noah sat up, bouncing on the bed with excitement. “That’s cool! What are we going to eat? What should I wear? Can I take my Iron Man?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure it’s fine, bug.”

He giggled. “I’m going to go tell Chloe!”

He ran out of the room, the picture of perfect health. A stranger would never know that he was on the verge of brain damage just three days ago. Hell, if I hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t know. It was incredible how a child could bounce back from something like that.

I rolled over when he was gone and tugged a pillow to my chest, breathing deeply of its scent. I could almost make myself believe I could still smell Gentry on that pillow, the pillow where he’d rested his head that night. And, while my imagination was in overdrive, I could almost make myself believe it was okay what we’d done that night.

I couldn’t blame the bourbon. I’d gotten a little tipsy, but I wasn’t so out of control that I hadn’t known exactly what I was doing. And I couldn’t really blame the events of that night--the firebombing of the real estate office, the cuts that were still healing along my shoulders, back, and thighs. It had been traumatic, but not so much that I could say it was okay to behave so recklessly.

The truth was, I’d wanted it to happen. I’d wanted to forget he was engaged, wanted to forget what he’d done to me ten years ago, wanted to slip back in time and fall back into his arms like he was still mine. He didn’t object, clearly. So why not? Why did I have to be the bigger person?

But seeing him with his fiancée brought it all slamming back. He wasn’t mine. Maybe he never had been. And what I did was no better than what he and Madeline had done to me all those years ago. I was a hypocrite and there was nothing else I hated more in this world than a hypocrite.

It was time to grow up and face reality.

I’d called a rival real estate company the day after Noah got out of the hospital and he’d not only made a very generous offer for the business, but he’d agreed to list my dad’s home with his agents. My former boss back in Nashville had agreed to let me come back. In fact, he’d been so relieved to hear from me that he’d also agreed to a substantial raise in salary.

I never should have come back to Memphis. There was nothing here for me but heartache.

Chloe was standing at the counter, fixing pancakes for breakfast, when I wandered into the kitchen a while later. Noah was playing at the kitchen table, slamming two of his action figures together in some reenactment of a favorite fight scene from one of his superhero movies. I brushed my fingers over his hair on my way to the coffee pot, pouring myself a full mug of delicious caffeine.

“Amelia, I was wondering if we could talk.”

I glanced at Chloe. “Of course.”

She set down the spatula she’d been wielding and gestured for me to follow her to the pantry. “I’m going back to Nashville tomorrow night. I thought that—”

“What? Why?”

Chloe’s eyes fell to the floor as she gestured toward the kitchen and Noah sitting at the table. “He had a seizure because of me. If I had been more careful about bolusing for his evening meal—”

“It wasn’t your fault! I should have checked him at two and I didn’t.”

“But you were a little occupied.”

I took Chloe’s hands and tugged her toward me. “We both screwed up that night, Chloe. But it wasn’t either of our faults what happened. It’s this damn disease! We can’t always predict how his body’s going to react from one moment to the next.”

“I know, but—”

“I can’t do this without you, Chloe. Please don’t leave!”

She tilted her head, a single tear spilling from her eye. “Are you sure?”

I laughed. “I haven’t been sure about a single thing these last few years except for you. You have no idea what a burden you lifted from my shoulders when you came into our lives! To share this thing with someone who truly gets it…it’s a blessing.”

“But now you have his father and his family…and your dad.”

I shook my head, resolve settling over me. “I think coming here was a mistake. We’re going back to Nashville as soon as I can arrange for my dad to be placed in a facility there.”

Chloe’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously?”

I nodded. “The business is pretty much busted after my dad’s bad investments and this harassment we’ve been getting. The firebomb the other day only solidified that. There’s really nothing else keeping me here.”

“What about Noah’s father?”

I shook my head. “If he wants to be part of Noah’s life, he’ll travel.”

Chloe’s eyes filled with confusion for a brief second, but then she inclined her head. “You know I support whatever you decide.”

“I appreciate that. I just…I think this is what’s best for all of us. Especially Noah. He’ll be happy to be back in his old school with all his old friends.”

“I’m sure he will.”

There was still concern in her eyes, though. I touched her arm, grateful that she felt close enough to me to be concerned. But I’d made up my mind and couldn’t imagine anything that could change it.

And now I had to go tell Rebecca she’d be losing her job in a few weeks.

*

Noah was tugging at the tie I forced him to wear, his face a mask of discomfort.

“It’s only for a couple of hours.”

“It’s choking me.”

Aiden laughed as he caught his nephew’s reflection in the mirror. “I know how you feel. I used to hate it when my mom would make me wear a tie to church every Sunday.”

“What did you do?”

Aiden shrugged. “I wore it. But I tore the damn thing off the moment we walked out of that building!”

Noah smiled, finally leaving the thing alone. I offered Aiden a grateful smile which he returned with a gentle squeeze of my hand.

“Remy’s really excited about this. She’s been cooking all day.”

“If she cooks anything like your mom, it’ll be fantastic.”

Aiden nodded. “Be prepared to waddle away from the table.”

He slowed the car as we approached the front of the Stone family estate, not so much because his turn was coming up, but because there was a line of motorcycles parked along the side of the road. The riders were sitting casually on the backs of their bikes and perched on top of the fence in a few places, most smoking, a few passing around bottles of what looked like whiskey. One man in particular stood alone, his dark face menacing as he watched us pass by.

“Is this Mad Dog?”

Aiden nodded solemnly. “They’ve been stalking Jack and the rest of us for a while, following us around town. They think they’re intimidating us, but they’re really just pissing us off.”

“Are those real motorcycles, Mom?”

“They sure are, Noah.”

“Cool.”

Noah twisted in his seat to get a better look. The man with the dark face spotted him and raised a hand, encouraging Noah to wave back with enthusiasm. The sight sent a dagger of fear right through my heart.

“Sit down, Noah.”

Aiden touched my knee, the touch reassuring; but there was the same sort of deep concern on his face that was probably on mine.

Every room of the main house appeared to be lit, making it appear warm and inviting. It was a lovely stone house that stood, massive, in the center of a rolling lawn. There were a lot of memories attached to this house for me; most of them good. Just like most of the Stone children’s friends, I spent most of my summers here, swimming and playing video games and hanging out with Mrs. Stone in the kitchen while she made the most incredible meals that were somehow always healthy and teenage appropriate. But all those memories included Gentry and that made them bittersweet.

The front door opened as we got out of the car. Remy stood there, a smile stretching from ear to ear on her pretty face.

“I’m so glad you came,” she said as she knelt to accept a hug from Noah.

“Thank you for inviting us,” he said in the same polite tone he’d practiced at home. Remy’s smile only grew as she took that in.

“My goodness, but aren’t you such a polite boy.” She hugged him a second time before whispering something about Brent and a particular video game in his ear. Noah rushed past her, running at top speed as he burst into the house.

“Noah, slow down!” I called after him.

“He’s fine.” Remy touched my arm, her smile different, but just as bright as she regarded me. “How are you? It’s been a rough few days for you, I gather.”

“I’m good.”

“I’m sorry you’ve gotten caught up in the nonsense going on with this motorcycle club. They shouldn’t have targeted you.”

I just inclined my head, not really sure a dinner party was the right place to discuss it. But, again, these were the Stones. They had never been truly conventional.

“Is the damage bad at the office?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, recalling the report Joan had made to me over the phone just this morning. Fifteen thousand dollars was the lowest bid she’d gotten from a local contractor to fix the damage. Apparently we now had a large hole in the floor, whole sections of the walls would have to be replaced, and the front window would not only have to be replaced, but the frame was so damaged that it would have to be completely reframed.

Fifteen thousand dollars. I wasn’t even sure we had that much in our various accounts. I guess it was a good thing the new owner wasn’t interested in the building itself.

“Let’s not dwell on that tonight,” Aiden cut in before I could formulate an answer. “Tonight’s about family and new beginnings.”

Remy smiled, something coming into her eye that made me wonder if she had a secret she wanted to reveal. I found myself studying her waistline as she turned, gesturing for us to precede her into the house.

Remy with a baby. Now there was a surprising turn of events.

We stepped into the house to find everyone gathered in the living room. Brent and Noah were sitting side by side in front of the massive seventy-inch television, grunting and laughing as they maneuvered virtual cars over the twists and turns of a race track. Bo was standing behind Brent, egging him on as Noah raced ahead of him. Dane, Brent’s pretty fiancée, was perched on the edge of the loveseat, laughing as she watched. Jack and his girl, Raelyn, were standing back, glasses of wine in their hands as they talked quietly, their heads close together. And Carson, still something of an outsider in this close-knit group, was alone on the couch.

“Amelia,” Carson said when she spotted us, coming to me with her hands outstretched. “How are you?”

We’d only met on two occasions and both times she was touching me in somewhat intimate places, repairing the damage done by flying glass, but we’d somehow managed to forge a bond just the same. I was pleased to see her, glad to see someone with whom I knew where I stood.

“Better, thank you. Thanks to you.”

Carson smiled, squeezing both my hands. “Glad I could help.”

Aiden moved up behind Carson and slipped his arm around her waist, his lips brushing the curve of her jaw before he moved beyond us and went in search of a drink. She watched him go, so much affection and trust on her face that it would have been obvious to a blind person how much she loved him. I was envious, to be honest. It must be nice to be able to give yourself that completely to one person.

I did that once and ended up alone and brokenhearted.

Speaking of the devil…

Noah suddenly squealed and I thought for a moment it was because he’d done something particularly impressive on his game, but then he came barreling toward me. But then he went around me.

I turned just in time to see Noah jump into Gentry’s arms, the squeal of delight he made like nothing I’d ever heard come from my son’s lips. Gentry’s eyes lit up as he held his son, laughter slipping between his own lips as Noah said something about being excited to see him. It warmed my heart to see the two of them together, but it was tempered by guilt for keeping them apart and more guilt because I was about to separate them again.

My guilt was assuaged a little when petite, beautiful Iris came around Gentry, speaking softly in German as she reached out to touch my son’s arm.

I wanted to smack her hand away.

“Just a week and he’s already such a wonderful father,” a deep voice said close to my ear. “Imagine what kind of father he’d be if you hadn’t kept the truth from him?”

I glanced to my left to find Jack standing beside me, the same anger that was burning on my face dancing in his eyes.

“You don’t know anything about it, Jack.”

“I know you kept my nephew from his father. What more do I need to know?”

He brushed past me and joined Gentry in his conversation with Noah. Carson moved up beside me and rested her hand on my shoulder.

“Welcome to the family.”

Her tone was so grave that I couldn’t help but laugh. She laughed, too, a beautiful, kind laugh that was almost shy, like she didn’t indulge in it much.

I really liked Carson and that was one reason to regret my decision. I truly believed we could have been good friends.

Remy called us to dinner a moment later. Noah insisted on walking with Gentry, his hand tucked into his father’s larger one. I followed, sliding into the seat beside him even as Iris attempted to take it. She smiled politely and took the chair on the other side of Gentry, patting his hand almost politely. He leaned closed to her and said something I couldn’t understand, causing her to look hard at me. I turned away, determined not to let the sight of the two of them get under my skin tonight.

“So Noah,” Jack began as he took the seat at the head of the table, clearly accepting the role as head of the family, “what do you think of the house? Do you like it here?”

“It’s really cool.”

“What would you say to hanging out with us here this weekend?”

I bristled even as Gentry cut in. “Jack, I thought we were going to discuss that later?”

“What better time than the present? He’s your son. You have the right to spend time with him.”

“He does,” I quickly agreed. “But after the week Noah’s had—”

“Please, Mom!”

I touched Noah’s leg. “They haven’t learned how to use your pump yet, bug. There’s so much that goes into your day-to-day care—”

“I want to stay with my dad!” Noah’s eyes filled with tears. “Why do you have to be so mean?”

“Noah,” Gentry said, some steel in his voice, “you should apologize to your mom.”

Noah pushed his chair back and stood. “I’m not hungry!” he announced before storming out of the room.

Remy glared at Jack. “Way to go.”

Brent stood. “I’ll go sit with him.” He disappeared after shooting a look at me that could have been impatience or understanding, I wasn’t quite sure which.

“I just think that since you stole nine years of Noah’s life from us, we should be allowed to take as much time as we can now,” Jack announced, looking directly at me.

“Jack…” Raelyn said, warning in her voice as she touched his sleeve.

“Am I wrong?”

No one contradicted Jack in response to that question. Not even me. He wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t have all the information. I looked at Gentry, but he was staring down at his empty plate like the answers to life’s biggest questions were written there.

“Thanks, Gentry,” I said, suddenly disgusted with him.

“Excuse me?” His eyes narrowed as he took me in. “You want me to be on your side after you kicked me out of the hospital? You kept me from seeing my son when he was sick.”

The room fell deadly quiet. There was a rush of emotion that fell over me, so many powerful emotions that all I could do was sit there and shake in my chair. And then Jack snickered and the need to smack him was just overwhelming.

I stood so quickly the chair I was sitting in crashed to the floor.

“This was a mistake.”

“Amelia,” Aiden said, but he didn’t say anything else, didn’t make a move to stop me from leaving.

“You can’t keep running from this, Amelia,” Gentry said for him.

“You really don’t want to open that door, Gentry.” I said his name with as much snark as I could put in my voice, glaring at him. He knew what I was talking about. I could see the shame suddenly burning in his eyes. “Do you really want your family to know the real reason I never told you I was pregnant? Do you really want to open that particular can of worms?”

“I just don’t see the harm in letting him stay here this weekend.”

“You couldn’t come and talk to me about that? Just the two of us? You had to let your brother do it for you?” I shook my head. “Nice to see some things will never change.”

Jack snorted, but one look from Raelyn kept whatever he might have had to say from finding its voice.

I stormed toward the living room, intent on getting my son and getting out of there, walking if I had to. Maybe one of those bikers would be willing to give us a lift. I didn’t really care how I got out of there, I was just determined to go. I couldn’t do this anymore.

But Gentry wasn’t as ready to let me go as I’d hoped. He grabbed my upper arms and literally dragged me into the kitchen, pushing me toward the stove.

“Why do you have to make everything so fucking hard?” Gentry demanded.

“Me? I’m not the one who just got that little boy’s hopes up when you knew this couldn’t happen.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Come on, Gentry.” I laughed and sobbed all at once, the sound the ultimate voice of frustration. “Do you really think you’re ready to handle his medical issues on your own?”

“I thought your nanny was part of the deal.”

I shook my head, turning away from him. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but there is simply too much. I can’t even look at you without everything turning into this whirlwind of complication.”

“This isn’t about me. It’s not even about us.”

“Isn’t it, though?” I tilted my head as I studied him. “That’s not what you were saying the other night.”

He glanced over his shoulder and I wanted to slap him. I did slap him. I moved close to him and slapped him hard in the center of the chest. And that felt so good that I did it again and again until he caught my wrists and pushed me back.

“Stop, Ami!” He pressed me up against the counter and shook me a little. “Stop this.”

“Why? Afraid your fiancée will overhear?”

“It’s not what you think. None of this is what you think.”

“Just like Madeline?”

The color faded from his face. “Amelia, I know I screwed up. I know a lot of this is my fault—”

“A lot of it?”

“Most of it?”

I gritted my teeth, jerking my arms against his hold.

“It’s my fault. Okay? Is that what you want?”

“I want to go back in time and change how that day went down! I want to have not been alone when Noah was born, to not have to go through his diagnosis and the past seven and a half years all alone. I want to be able to count on you to be there for me instead of running off like a scared little boy!”

I’d hit a chord. I could see it written in every line, every angle, of his face. But he didn’t back off, his grip on my wrists didn’t relax even an iota.

“I can say sorry until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t change anything.” His voice was low, almost gentle. “So what’s the point in talking about it anymore?”

“Because I need to talk about it. I need to understand how you could do what you did and then come back here like it meant nothing to you, like all those years we spent together, all the plans we made, meant nothing!” I turned my head, fighting tears I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of seeing run down my face. “I don’t understand how you could say in one breath that you love me and in another turn your back on me and act like I never meant anything to you.”

“Ami…”

He groaned as he leaned his head against mine. He was breathing hard. I was breathing hard. There was so much raw emotion between us that it was sucking the air out of the room. And then it exploded as his fiancée walked into the room, speaking softly in German.

I grunted. “Great.”

“Ami, there is so much I need to explain…”

“Ami?” Iris’s face suddenly lit up as though the name meant something to her. She came over and took my face between her hands, squealing like a happy child, kissing my cheeks like we were suddenly best friends.

I jerked away. “What the fuck, Gentry?”

“She doesn’t understand.”

He spoke to her and she shot me a confused glance, then began to shake her head. “No, no, no,” she said before letting go with a long string of urgent words in her native language. Gentry spoke back, but she was clearly not hearing any of it. She came to me again, snatching up my hands like she had every right to touch me.

“Me, no,” she said, touching her simple engagement ring and then gesturing to Gentry. “No,” she repeated very clearly.

I frowned, completely lost.

“Gentry, no,” she said, touching the ring again. “Gentry liebe Ami.” She touched my chest as she spoke. “Gentry liebe Ami.”

“Stop,” Gentry said, grabbing Iris’s shoulder.

Iris frowned up at him. “Tell,” she insisted, gesturing toward me.

“What is she talking about? What is she saying?”

Gentry glanced toward the direction of the dining room, making me aware suddenly that his entire family was out there and they could probably hear everything that was being said. There was no door between us, no barrier. And we weren’t exactly keeping our voices down.

“She’s trying to tell you that we’re not engaged.”

I shook my head, grabbing Iris’s hand and shoving the finger with her engagement ring in his face. “Then what’s this?”

“She’s engaged to another guy stationed at the base in Germany. He’s getting out—it was delayed, but he’s getting out at the end of the month. Her parents kicked her out for dating an American and she had nowhere to go. She needed to get out of the country and she had a ninety-day visa that was set to expire if she didn’t use it. It seemed logical at the time.”

“This is just an immigration scam?”

He shrugged. “She’s getting married, just not to me.”

I looked from him to her, to the earnest expression on her pretty face. She came close to me again, touching my chest with her finger.

“Gentry talk you,” she said in halting English. “Always. Much liebe.”

“What does that mean?” I demanded, my body vibrating with the need to know. “What is she saying?”

“She’s telling you that I talked to her about you. That I love you.”

I couldn’t keep the tears in my eyes, couldn’t fight them anymore. I looked from him to her and couldn’t help the strange sound that slipped from between my lips.

“Everything about you is just one big lie after another, isn’t it?”

“Not everything.”

I was quiet for a minute, trying to get it all straight in my head.

“You left me because you thought you might be in love with another woman. You ran off to the Air Force because you couldn’t stand your conventional life, because you didn’t want to be a glorified banker for the rest of your life. You cut me out because you couldn’t decide if you were ready to be stuck with one woman, the only woman you’d ever really known, for the rest of your life. Is that right?”

“Amelia…”

“And then you decide you might love me and you tell a stranger all about it while you’re pretending to be her fiancée in order to trick the same country you fought to defend for the past ten years. You lied to me, you lied to your family…and then you have the nerve to get pissed at me for trying to protect our child?” I whirled on him, staring at him with all the anger and the hurt and the hatred that were welling up inside of me. “Is that it?”

There was so much self-loathing on his face in that moment that it cut through me like a hot poker. “I told you I was an asshole.”

I nodded slowly. “You are.”

I could almost feel the weight of each person in the next room, holding their breaths and waiting to hear what came next. Even Iris was watching us, expectation bright in her eyes. Gentry was broken by this, broken by what he’d done, by what he had missed out on because of his own actions. He knew what he’d done, knew how deeply it had hurt us both. We were both too aware of how much we’d lost because of the mistakes we’d made.

But they were just that. Mistakes.

“I hate you,” I said softly even as I moved into his arms, “for leaving me. I hate you for not knowing as soon as I did that this was the only thing that mattered. But I love you too much to just—”

He groaned and lifted my chin, not allowing me to finish what I was going to say. He swallowed it instead, taking it away with his kiss. I melted into him, our tears mingling as we kissed. He wrapped his fingers in my clothes, pulled me so tightly against him, but it wasn’t tight enough. I wasn’t sure anything would have been close enough. But it was a start.

“I love you,” he moaned against my mouth, “I’m so sorry for what I did to us.”

“Shh…”

The sorries were done. Looking into the past was done. It was time to look forward. It was finally time to move on.

Together.