WHEN I REALIZE WE’RE HEADED to Express, I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.
It’s unstoppable.
Even though Micah has a tough exterior, I love that he’s got a softer side he occasionally slips and lets show.
The only problem with that is the way it makes me feel whenever he does. It’s hard to explain even to myself, and I’ve honestly given up on trying.
“Are we here so I can write?”
He nods and parks the truck, smiling with satisfaction as he pulls the keys from the ignition. “You seemed really inspired the last time you were here so I thought it would help. Plus, I’m not ready to go home yet. Not without seeing you for longer than ten damn minutes.”
Learning that he wants to spend time with me has butterflies fluttering around my stomach as he reaches for my laptop and jumps out of the truck.
He’s probably been working all day and night between Vortex and setting things up here, yet he took the time to bring me here so that I could write and we could spend some time together.
I’m not sure what to do with that, so I guess all I can do is go with the flow and try not to look too far into it.
My heart flutters with excitement when he opens the door and helps me down to my feet. Every time he touches me it’s like my heart doesn’t know whether to stop or skip a beat.
“We’ll stay here for as long you need. I don’t have anywhere to be. Just as long as I have you back before your brother gets home. He’s already threatened to kill me once tonight. I don’t need it actually happening.”
“Wait. What?”
“Don’t worry about it. Come on.”
He places his hand on the small of my back and guides me to the door, unlocking it, and opening it for me to step inside first.
It’s dark, so I stand in place as he flips on a few lights for us.
“Get your desk set up and I’ll see if I have any beer left.”
“You have more tables set up,” I point out, while looking around. “It’s looking great in here, Micah.”
“Thanks. The tables came in the other day. I have about four more to order before the grand opening, but other than that and some decorating, this place is pretty close to being done.” He walks toward the bar as I take a seat at the same table I sat at the last time I wrote and wait for my laptop to boot up.
A few seconds later he hands me a beer from over my shoulder and makes his way to the stage to grab his guitar and take a seat on the stool.
“We’re doing this again?” I ask with a hopeful smile. “You play while I write?”
“We’re here for you, so yes.”
Just like the last time he played music for me the words begin to flow, and before I know it I’ve written nearly three thousand words.
I’ve only got four, maybe five chapters left to write and I could probably pull it off right here tonight if he continues to play for me.
I likely could’ve pulled most of it off by now to be honest, if it weren’t for me struggling to keep my eyes off Micah as he plays.
I find myself looking up at the stage every ten minutes or so, because it’s impossible not to look at him with his guitar.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Eyes on the words . . . not my handsome face,” he says with a smirk. “Do I need to put a paper bag over my head so you won’t look at me?”
“Ha. Ha. Aren’t we being cocky again.” I pull my eyes away from Micah and look back down at the computer screen, fighting not to look back up at him. Especially since I know he’s watching me right now as he plays. “Just keep playing . . .”
“You asked for it.”
He stops playing the current tune and switches into a different song entirely.
I’m sitting over here trying to catch my breath, because I recognize the song the second the first lyric leaves his mouth.
I Found by Amber Run.
He’s actually playing Amber Run. The slowed down acoustic version that I haven’t been able to stop listening to for weeks.
That’s why he asked me who my favorite band was, and the fact that he’s playing them even though as of last week he hadn’t heard of them, has my emotions all over the place.
I can’t pull my eyes away from him as he plays and I find myself shutting my laptop, because there’s no way I can not watch him.
Why does his voice have to be so beautiful and intoxicating?
Without even meaning to I close my eyes and get lost in his voice, knowing that I’ll be forever screwed after this.
I’m drawn to him more now than ever and it’s up to me to stay strong.
I have a feeling it’s going to be a little harder after this.
By the end of the song my heart is beating so hard that I can practically feel it about to burst from my chest.
“You learned that song for me?”
He sets his guitar down by his feet and runs his hand through his hair, but doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me, his gaze so intense that goose bumps cover my body.
“I don’t know what to say right now. That . . . that was amazing. Thank you.” I grab the beer in front of me and take a small drink. My throat suddenly feels dry and I feel hot. Extremely hot. “Can you play any more of their songs?”
He nods and reaches for his guitar again.
I’m shocked into silence when he begins playing another one of their songs.
What is Micah doing to me?
He’s making me fall for him even more. That’s what he’s doing, whether he’s trying to or not.
We’re both silent after he plays the last song and he heads straight for the bar to grab two more beers, before making his way over to the table I’m at.
He looks around the room before he speaks.
“I’ve got to place my first liquor order next week. It’s been a long journey but it’s something I’ve wanted since I was eighteen. I used to sneak into bars and watch the musicians play. I remember imagining myself doing that someday and it brought me this peace I’ve never felt before.” He pauses to take a drink, his eyes deepening as he stares up at the stage. “And since I never really felt as if I had a place of my own growing up, I decided then and there that I’d do what they were doing, except I’d do it at a place I owned. A place I can call my own.”
I grab the bottle that he holds out for me and take a quick drink, while looking up at him. He’s still looking at the stage, so I take this moment to admire him.
Micah Beck truly is a beautiful man.
His beauty has my heart doing flips inside my chest. I can’t stop replaying his lips on mine, my hands in his long hair as our sweaty bodies move together.
I wasn’t lying when I said I can’t think straight around him.
His presence makes it impossible to think about anything other than him.
“You should be really proud. I know you haven’t had things easy and what you’ve done here is amazing.”
He looks down at me, surprised. “Your brother told you?”
I nod. “He told me about your mom and the foster homes you grew up in. He said you’ve been on your own since a young age.”
His jaw tightens as if the memory upsets him. “Yeah . . .” He takes a quick swig of his beer as if he needs it. “It wasn’t the best childhood, thanks to my mother running off. I had to steal to survive sometimes and I’ve seen the inside of juvie more times than I wish I would’ve, but that’s why I’m working so hard for everything I have now.”
I hate that he was abandoned and hurt by the one person who was supposed to love him the most. I hate that he had to struggle just to survive.
I stand up and cup his face, wanting him to look at me. “You’re beautiful . . .” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.
His eyes lock with mine and I can tell that he’s fighting some kind of battle inside. “I don’t know about that. I’ve been pretty ugly for a long time. I’m a selfish son of a bitch.”
“Do you really believe that?” I question. “Look what you’ve been doing for Sebastian. Look what you’ve done for my brother and look what you’re doing for me right now.”
I watch his throat as he swallows.
“You saw me struggling and brought me to the one place you knew would help me. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. Then the songs . . .” I lean in close, brushing my lips over his. “You learned them for me. That’s pretty damn beautiful.”
He closes his eyes and leans in closer, his heavy breath warming my lips. “You make me want to be better than the man I’ve been lately. It’s fucked up the way I want you for more than just a one-night stand, when that’s all I’ve ever wanted from a woman before, yet you’re the one woman I can’t keep or it’ll ruin the one relationship that’s ever meant anything to me. I hate it,” he breathes. “I just want to make you mine, but I’m not good enough for you, Tegan.”
I close my eyes when his hands tangle into the back of my hair and I find myself fighting to catch my breath. “You want me?” I question. “Because if that’s what you’re telling me, Micah . . . then I need you to kiss—”
His lips crush mine, cutting my words off, and before I know it he’s grabbing my thighs and lifting me up.
His strong hands squeeze my thighs as we kiss, sending heat all throughout my body.
Just as I think he’s going to take things further, he pulls away from the kiss and places his forehead to mine. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”
I nod as he kisses my forehead and sets me back down to my feet.
When we arrive at my brother’s house, I begin making my way to the front of the house, expecting us to go our separate ways, but his grip on my hip stops me.
“Where are you going?” he whispers in my ear. “I told you I want to spend time with you.”
I lean my head back as he brushes his lips over my neck. “I thought we were calling it a night. My brother will be home in less than an hour.”
“No,” he says softly. “We’ll call it a night once you get tired of me. Are you tired of me yet?”
I shake my head.
“Good.” He pulls the strap of my laptop bag down my shoulder and sets it down into the grass beside us, before turning me around to face him. “I put on a performance for you and now it’s time to cool off. You know how I work.”
He catches me off guard when he picks me up and begins running toward the pool. “Micah!” I laugh and hold onto his back. “What are you doing? Slow down!”
He ignores me, and before I know it I’m sinking to the bottom of the pool in his arms.
When he grabs my face under the water and kisses me, I swear my heart stops. This moment, this kiss, feels different than the rest.
Our lips are still touching when we resurface and his hands gently wrap into my hair and tug, causing my mouth to part for him.
“I can’t get enough of you, Tegan.” The way his lips move against mine when he speaks has me closing my eyes and moaning. Oh, how I love his mouth. “I know I’m not supposed to want you, but fuck, I do. More than I’ve wanted anyone before. I haven’t been able to show you that, but I want you to know that.”
I wrap my legs tighter around his waist as I grab onto his hair and look him in the eyes. “I want you too, Micah. I came here thinking that all I’d ever want from you was one night of unattached sex, just to get you out of my system, but every time I’m around you I only seem to want you more and more. I don’t know what to do. Even a date with Parker wasn’t enough to make me stop wanting you.”
He moves his hands down to cup my face and run his thumbs over my cheekbones. The mention of Parker has his jaw flexing, but I can see him trying to hold back his anger. “I never want to see you go on another fucking date with Parker or any other guy for that matter. You have no idea how hard it was to not lose my shit in front of Alexander the moment I realized you were Parker’s date. You’re mine.” He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, before releasing it with a growl. “No one else gets to taste your lips or touch you where I do. Got it?”
I nod and kiss him, wanting him to see that he’s the only one I want. I’m so sick of pretending that I don’t, and now that I know how he feels about me, I know there’s no fighting it anymore.
“Tell me you’re mine?” he demands against my lips. “I want to hear you say it, Tegan. Say it.”
“I’m yours, Micah. I think I have been since the day I arrived.”
“Fuck,” he says, sounding breathless. “I love hearing those words.”
His lips meet mine again and the way he’s holding me truly makes me feel as if I’m his.
But as badly as I want this to mean that things will be easy and we can be with each other, I know that’s far from the truth.
Breaking things to Alexander won’t be easy, and I’m afraid that once he finds out it’ll either be the end of them or the end of us.
I’m not sure I could handle either of those scenarios . . .
Micah
Tegan went upstairs to her bedroom less than two hours ago and I’m already feeling the loss of her in my damn arms.
As much as I wanted her to stay downstairs with me, we were worried that Alexander would check for her in her room to make sure she was there once he gets home.
And the last thing we need is him finding out any other way than us telling him ourselves. Tegan decided that it’d be best to wait and tell him after Express is open and I’m gone, that way if he wants to kill me for a while he at least won’t have to see me on the daily.
He’s going to need some time away from me to get used to the idea and I get that. I get why Tegan wants to wait until then and as much as I hate keeping this from my friend, I want to respect Tegan and her wishes at the same time.
“Shit.” Unable to fall asleep, I sit up and run my hands through my hair in frustration. I’m half-tempted to sneak into Tegan’s room and sleep in her bed. “Fuck it.”
I stand up and just as I go to take a step, Tegan appears in the doorway of my room.
She looks just as tired and frustrated as I feel.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she says, looking me over in my boxer briefs. “All I can think about is being close to you.”
“Come here, baby.” I grab her hand and pull her to me. My heart skips a beat the moment she melts into my arms as if that’s where she’s meant to be. “I want nothing more than for you to be close to me. You have no fucking idea.”
I stand here and hold her for a while, this peace and warmth filling me that I’ve never experienced before. That’s when I know there’s no way in hell I’ll be letting her sleep alone anymore.
I can’t.
Not now that I know how she feels about me.
“Come on.” I climb into my bed, pulling her down with me, under the covers. “We just have to wake up before your brother does.”
She snuggles into my arms, wrapping her legs around mine as she buries her face into my chest. “Okay,” she says on a yawn. “Now be quiet and hold me. It feels so good in your arms . . .”
I hold her tighter, my heart pounding as I listen to her breathing change. She’s been in my arms for less than a minute and she’s already asleep.
Why do I suddenly feel so damn soft and mushy around her?
In this moment, with her in my arms, I feel as if I’d do anything in the world for her and I’ve barely even known her for two weeks.
I’ve always heard that when you fall, you fall hard and fast, but before now I didn’t believe that shit to be true.
Tegan Tyler has turned my entire world upside down without even trying, and now everything I’ve known for the last five years will come crashing down around me.
The first person I’ve ever truly trusted will never trust me again.
That only means I have to do everything in my power to prove that I’ll never hurt Tegan, and I’m willing to do anything it takes . . .