WALKING PAST TEGAN AFTER MY performance and having to pretend I didn’t want to wrap her up in my arms and kiss her in front of everyone felt a whole lot shittier than I thought it would.
As soon as I made it upstairs to my office, I punched my desk a few times, needing to let some frustration out.
It’s been close to thirty minutes since Alexander and Tegan had a little conversation before she left, and I can’t stop thinking about what he said to her. Not knowing what is driving me crazy over the possibilities.
I’m pacing around my office, still worked up, waiting on a text or anything from Tegan when the door opens and someone steps inside.
“Everything good, Man?” I raise my head to see Alexander standing in the doorway, watching me with hard eyes. “You seem a little upset about something? Anything you want to talk to me about?”
I run a hand through my hair and steel my jaw, while shoving my phone into my back pocket. “Nothing you want to hear. It doesn’t concern you.”
He steps further inside and closes the door behind him. “I can see the way you look at my sister. What I can’t figure out is if that means you’ve already touched her or that you want to, but either way, I better not hear shit about you two hooking up. I’ve never given you shit about your personal life. This is the only fucking request I have for you. She’s my family. Blood is thicker than friendship. I hope like hell that you don’t break my trust and five years of friendship over pussy because you can’t keep your dick in check. That’s the only one that’s ever been off limits.”
“So you thought it’d be a good idea to bring Parker in the fucking picture?” I step closer to him and look him in the eyes when I speak. “Why . . . because he had a good life growing up? Parents who looked out for him and bought him things, fed him, and all that good shit that I didn’t have? Does that make him better than me? Or is it because he doesn’t feel the need to keep everyone at a distance in fear of getting hurt? What makes you think I’m not good enough for her? That I can’t love someone when I find the right one? Am I that big of a piece of shit to you? Because you keep calling me a friend but you’re not acting like one.”
“Fuck you, Micah,” he grinds out. “You know damn well that it has nothing to do with your fucked-up childhood and everything to do with the numerous women you’ve hurt since I’ve known you. I don’t want my sister added to that list. You want to know why?” He steps in closer so that we’re almost nose-to-nose. “Because I’ll be the one picking up the pieces after you sleep with her and then crush her like you’ve done every woman you’ve ever laid eyes on. You could have any and every woman your dick wants to sink into, so don’t make me hate you because you decide to choose my sister out of thousands of other willing women who mean nothing to me.”
Fuck. My heart is beating so hard that my chest is hurting. I hate that he believes I’ll only hurt Tegan. He hasn’t seen the way I am with her. I hate that he thinks I can’t change. The part that I fucking hate the most is that I’ve already sunk my dick into her twice and I have to hide it from him in order to keep our friendship intact.
“Maybe I want to change. Maybe I just need the right girl. For someone standing here judging me I don’t see you in a serious relationship.”
He laughs and shakes his head in frustration. “You’ve had twenty-five years to find the right girl, Micah. Are you sure you’re even looking? Think about it. You haven’t had one girlfriend. Not one fucking girlfriend since I’ve known you. At least I’ve tried. At least I’ve given my heart to a woman before, and so has Parker. So, yeah . . . I brought him into the picture. I did it because I knew that he wouldn’t hurt Tegan. If anything she’d hurt him. That might’ve been an asshole thing for me to do, but I’ll do anything to protect my sister from someone like you who has the capability of crushing her world completely.”
His words have me running my hands over my face in anger. There’s so much I want to say right now but am holding back because I don’t want to upset Tegan by giving us away.
We need more time together, so I can prove to her first that I can change. That I’m committed to her and I never plan on hurting her. Once she believes it I’ll spend all my damn time proving it to him if I have to, but right now she comes first.
“I’ve gotta get out of here before I lose my shit. Stop worrying about Tegan getting hurt by me. She hasn’t given me the time of day anyway.” I brush past him and grab my keys. “I’ll be at Express if you need me. I’ve got performances and shifts to schedule.”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything as I exit my office.
After his shit tonight, I need some time alone to think.
It’s been a few days since my performance at Vortex, and ever since Alexander had his conversation with Tegan it feels as if she’s been keeping her distance from me.
Even though we’ve still been spending time together at Express, she’s only crawled into my bed to sleep with me once since that night.
It’s pretty obvious that she’s worried I don’t want her there or that I’ll hurt her if she gets too close.
I don’t blame her for being cautious around me, but it kills me that she’s acting different, that she’s afraid of us . . . of me.
The last thing I want to do is hurt her and I need her to see that. That’s exactly why I’m standing in the dark hallway, about to do something I’ve never done before.
I’m about to give her a piece of me that I’ve been afraid to give to anyone before, but I need to show her how much she means to me and that she’s not one of those girls her brother has told her about.
I stand here briefly, staring at her closed door with my hands in my hair.
My heart has never beat so fast before. I’m truly terrified right now, but still I push the door open and step inside, gently closing it behind me.
From the rhythm of her breathing I can tell that she’s sleeping, so I crawl into her bed and kiss her neck.
The moment my lips meet her skin she lets out a slight moan and whispers my name in the dark.
“Micah . . .”
I kiss her neck again, before crawling above her, settling my body between her legs. “I can’t stand you not being in my bed,” I say against her forehead. “It feels so damn empty without you.”
She opens her eyes to look at me, and I can see the worry in them. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me in it still and I didn’t want to make you feel pressured.”
“What the hell, Tegan? Of course I want you in it. I’d want you in it every night if I had the choice.”
She reaches up to twist a strand of my hair between her fingers as she studies my face. “I’m afraid of getting hurt by you, Micah. Everyone is putting stuff in my head. I’m falling and I’m falling fast and hard. It terrifies me and I don’t know what to do. This is so much more to me than a fling like I thought it’d be, so I feel like I need to be careful when it comes to you.”
I grab her hand and kiss it, before placing it on my bare chest, showing her just how hard and fast my heart is beating in this very moment. “Do you feel what you do to me, Tegan?”
She nods.
“I’m terrified too, babe. But it’s not because I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. I’ll never fucking do that. It’s because I’m afraid you’ll hurt me. That’s the only way I’m walking away from us. Got it?”
“I won’t,” she whispers. “I won’t hurt you. Not on purpose at least. But . . .”
“But what?” I cup her face and look into her eyes to show her that I’m listening. I hear every single word she’s speaking. It’s not just going in one ear and out the other like it’s always done in the past. I don’t want to ever miss anything she says. “Talk to me. Tell me.”
She releases a small breath and moves her hand up to run over my bicep, focusing on the tight muscle as she speaks. “You’re opening your bar soon and I promised my parents I wouldn’t move away yet. What happens once summer is over?”
My heart sinks at the mention of her family. I almost forgot that she didn’t actually live here. The selfish part of me wants to tell her to stay anyway, but because I don’t want to be selfish when it comes to her, I say the only thing I can at the moment. “We’ll make it work, Tegan. I’ll take care of everything when it comes to us. I’ll do anything it takes to make us work. You have my word.”
“I trust you,” she whispers.
As soon as the words leave her lips I capture them with mine, kissing her soft and sweet to show her that I’ll be gentle with her and take care of her.
With our lips still pressed together, I slowly lift her shirt up her body, only breaking the kiss long enough to pull it over her head.
Even that is too long to go without tasting her lips.
As soon as our lips meet again, I pull her up to her knees and gently tug her bottom lip with my teeth as her hands work on removing my jeans.
I’m so incredibly hard and horny right now that I feel as if I could bust just from the feel of her hand when it runs over my length. I’ve never needed to be inside a woman more than I do at this very moment.
Within seconds I’m laying her back on the mattress and spreading her legs so I can move in between them. With our eyes locked together, I enter her in one deep thrust.
We both moan into each other’s mouths as I still my movements, giving her body time to adjust to mine.
“Move . . .” she whispers against my lips. “I need to feel you, Micah. Please.”
I move on her demand, taking her slow and deep, our bodies molded together and covered in sweat as I give her the most important part of me: my heart.
No other woman has ever experienced me in this way before and I want her to be the only.
I run my hands through the top of her hair and gently kiss her neck, making my way up to whisper against her ear. “Are you on the pill, baby?”
She nods and grips onto my triceps with a moan when I push in deeper and stop. “Yes . . .”
“Good,” I say against her neck. “Because I’m going to come inside of you.”
I move my mouth along her neck, over her jaw and up to meet her lips as I continue moving in and out of her.
Her hands are all over me, gripping at me as if she wants me deeper, but I’m already as deep as I can go, so I pick up speed, which results in her nails digging into my back.
“Micah . . . faster . . . keep going,” she pants.
Her demands have me gripping onto her waist, moving at a steady rhythm. As badly as I want to take her fast and hard, moving slow and with meaning feels way too good to change it up now.
I want her to feel me and not just physically.
Tegan
The way Micah moves inside of me is torturous, because I can feel every last inch of him. My body can hardly handle taking all of him, so I find myself begging for him to move faster.
The way he’s looking at me, kissing me and even holding onto my hair while he tries his best to be gentle is so different than any time before this.
It’s as if he’s giving me a piece of him that I know I’ll never want to give back.
The thought has it hard to breathe and every part of me is coming undone each time he enters me. He’s holding me close, so damn close, as if he’s trying to protect me.
I swear he owns me. He’s claiming me as his and not just for one night. For so much more.
His long hair covers us, his scent surrounding me each time I inhale, and I’ll forever remember Micah Beck’s taste and smell. It’s imbedded in my memory for life.
Each time he enters me he does it with meaning, and I find myself holding onto him as if I’ll fall off the bed if I let go.
I can’t think. I can’t breathe. All I can do is feel.
And ever since he told me he’s going to come inside of me, my skin has been on fire with need, because there’s nothing hotter to me than Micah filling me.
I want him inside of me. Every last drop.
When his thrusts become a little harder, a little needier, I dig my nails into his arms and tilt my head back with a moan.
He catches my moan with his mouth and moves inside of me as deeply as he can.
“I’m close to coming inside of you.” His breathy words hit my lips as he speaks. “I need you to come for me, baby. Right . . .”
He buries himself deep inside of me and my body obeys, unable to hold back any longer. Not even five seconds later Micah pulls my bottom lip into his mouth and holds it captive as he comes inside of me, filling me with his release.
“Shit . . . baby . . .” he breathes into my neck, before reaching up to cup my face. “You’re shaking.”
He’s right. My entire body is shaking and not just because of the orgasm he gave me. It’s because of what he gave me along with it.
“I can’t help it,” I whisper. “I just feel so . . . I don’t know, Micah. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever.”
He leans in and presses his lips over mine, kissing me gently, before he speaks. “That makes two of us.”
After we both take a few moments to catch our breath, Micah pulls out of me and cleans me up. I expected him to go back to his room, but instead he crawls back into my bed and wraps me up in his arms.
We lay here in silence for the longest time, just holding each other. He kisses me every once in a while to let me know that he’s still awake, until we both eventually fall asleep.
And it ends up being the best sleep of my life, because I know in this moment that Micah is truly mine . . .