Chapter Twenty-five
Sadie
Jesus. The thought of a kiss has never seemed so dangerous. I’m transfixed by his mouth, and every nerve ending in my body is on fire.
“Don’t make me beg,” he says, his grip at my nape tugging me another inch closer. He brings his other hand to my face and sweeps a thumb across my lips. “My cock knows this mouth better than I do. I need to taste you. Fucking kiss me.”
I exhale my nervousness across his lips, and the next instant, my mouth is on his. That first bit of contact sends a spark through me, trilling through my veins like a live wire. The kiss starts off as a hint of touch, a mere brush of yearning mouths. A prelude of what’s to come.
“Ash,” I breathe, equal amounts of scared and turned-on.
“Let me taste you,” he murmurs.
It’s almost too much, feeling him hard underneath me, cocooned by the warm, bubbling water as we approach the forbidden precipice. I’m not sure how we ended up here, but I can’t find a single reason to regret bringing my lips to his. Kissing him is as essential as the blood rushing in my veins.
The next few seconds pass in slow-mo. Our lids drift shut—his first, then mine—and only then do I tease the seam of his mouth with my tongue. That’s when the spark bursts into an explosion. That’s when he closes his fist around my heart. That’s when the protective dam inside me splits wide open and lets him in.
His mouth opens under mine, and our tongues come together like desperate lovers. Before long I’m whimpering, moaning, unable to get enough of his kiss, of his taste, of the way he groans in the back of his throat.
As if he’ll die if we stop kissing.
He winds an arm around me, ensnaring me inside the cage of his embrace, and moans into my mouth. And I surrender everything that I am, lose the last bits of myself with every sweep of his tongue against mine. I grip his hair as our mouths fight for power, tongues thrashing. Dueling. Mating.
Holding me by the waist, he controls the rhythm of my hips as I slide up and down his shaft, slick with the desire roaring through me. I can’t control it any more than I can control how I feel about him.
As he inches back, he catches my lower lip between his teeth before breaking our kiss, and I watch in awe as he rests his head against the tub, his mouth a tight line that smothers a moan, his eyes squeezed shut as if he’s in agony.
I’ve never wanted anyone so much, have never let pure instinct guide me as I do now. Pushing to my knees, I fit my entrance over the crown of his cock and begin to inch down his shaft. I’ve barely taken in the tip, but the pain is making me dizzy.
“Fucking hell, Sadie. Are you trying to tempt me to death?”
Biting my lip, I shake my head.
The pads of his fingers press into my skin as he holds me still. “God, don’t move.”
His words accomplish the opposite, and I push off his chest and launch myself out of the tub before I embarrass myself more. As I pull a towel off the rack and wrap the fluffy terry cotton around my shaking body, I sense the onset of tears. They’re going to burn something fierce.
Just as his rejection is.
Water sloshes, and he steps out of the tub before winding his arms around me.
“Sadie, don’t.”
“Don’t, what? Everything’s fine.”
“You’re a shitty liar.”
I close my eyes and slump against him. He knows me too well—better than my own family does. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I…”
“Why you tried to fuck me in the tub?”
I struggle to free myself from his embrace and turn to face him, tears be damned. “It was stupid. One minute we’re kissing, and the next—”
We’re kissing.
Just like that, his mouth shuts me up. He thrusts his tongue inside, again and again until I’m dizzy and breathless. Then, as abruptly as it happened, it ends.
Ash cradles my face between his large hands. “I’m not rejecting you.” He pauses, his bright eyes so full of passion that I lose my breath. “When I get inside of you for the first time, it’ll be because you’re ready.” He leans down, an inch from my lips. “It’ll happen because you can’t stand the thought of it not happening.”
He’s not talking in ifs. His when is spoken in a tone of certainty.
I feel that same certainty sharpen inside my soul, and I know without a doubt that I want Ashton to be my first. “I want it to be you.”
“It will be me, but we’re not rushing this. I don’t want any regrets between us.”
“Me either.”
He hesitates. “I don’t want a one-time thing, Sadie.”
“What are you saying?”
He slants an eyebrow. “I think you know what I’m saying.”
“Spell it out for me, Ash.”
“I want you.”
“I’m giving you me. You’re going to have a part of me that no one else will ever have.”
“I’m not just talking about your body. I want you…” He places a hand over my rapid heartbeat. “I want your goddamn heart.”
Ducking out of his arms, I seek escape in the bedroom, but he’s right on my heels, tugging at my towel until it slides from my body. I turn and glare at him, hands covering my breasts.
His blue eyes are full of turbulence as he drops the towel he stole from me onto the floor with a deliberate motion I can’t ignore. Unashamed, he stands in front of me, completely naked.
“Don’t hide your tits from me. You’ve got nothing underneath those hands I haven’t seen.” He pauses, taking a step toward me. “Touched and tasted.” Two more steps brings him within arm’s reach. “Come to bed with me. We’ll order room service and neck all night.”
As I lower my hands, I can’t help but laugh. “I thought you said we weren’t in high school anymore.”
“This is far from high school. This is a hotel room,” he says, closing the distance until his chest is brushing my aching nipples. “With a huge, comfortable bed. We’re not in the back of a car, and you can be certain I’ll call you tomorrow. And the day after that…” Slowly, he lowers his face and brushes his lips against mine. “And every one after that.”
Now that I’ve given in and gotten to know his lips, I can’t seem to get enough. Grasping his wet hair, I reel him in the rest of the way and attack his mouth. The groan that rumbles from his throat is an addictive and vulnerable sound I’ll never tire of dragging from him. Step by step, he backs me toward the bed, then he scoops me up, naked skin against naked skin, and falls with me onto the mattress. I wrap my legs around him as he blankets my body, his erection hot and heavy between my thighs, just begging for release inside me.
“I want you, Ash.” The declaration escapes my mouth with a gasp, and I wish I could yank it back.
“You’re testing my will here.” He leans his forehead against mine, breaths a rapid succession of shudders against my well-kissed lips. “I’m not fucking you. I want so much more than that.”
That scares the shit out of me. Ashton doesn’t do relationships. “You’re going to break my heart.”
“The last thing I want to do is break your heart.”
“You might not mean to, but I know you.” I draw in a deep breath. “What if we made a huge mistake?”
“We are not a mistake.”
The hurt in his expression is too much, so I shutter my eyes. “Ash…you’re my friend.”
“Uh-uh, look at me,” he demands, prompting me to lock my gaze on his. “Do I look like a man who thinks of you as a friend?”
He looks like a man who wants to swallow me whole. This conversation is getting too heavy…or maybe I’m just not ready for it yet. I veer my attention to the clock on the nightstand. It’s almost eight, and my stomach rumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten dinner. And it’s the perfect distraction, the perfect interruption to cool this thing between us before it explodes.
“You mentioned room service.”
He studies me for several seconds, gaze wandering over every inch of my face, then with a sigh, he pushes off the mattress. “Okay, Sawyer. We’ll do things your way for now, but don’t think this is going away.” With a smirk, he glances at his erection, making it clear he’s talking about more than just the issue of us.
Not that there is an us.
As he grabs his jeans off the floor, I go for my dress, but his words stop me. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I’m not going to sit here naked while they bring in room service.”
“No one’s seeing a thing. Now get back in bed and let me worry about dinner.”
“Are you ordering dessert too?” I can’t help a flirty grin from spreading across my face. I settle against the headboard and pull the sheet above my breasts, and he returns my grin.
“I think we both know what’s for dessert, sweetheart.” Blue eyes sparkling, he zips up his pants but leaves the button undone. He’s still hard behind that zipper, and unashamed about it as he picks up the hotel phone to put in our dinner order.