Chapter Eight
Sadie
When it comes to Ashton Levine, in too deep doesn’t cut it. I run the tip of my tongue across my lips as I approach my apartment, as if I can lick away the memory of his cock in my mouth. As if I can will away the sting from his punishing hand on my ass. The pain is nothing but a phantom recollection, but remembering how he pulled me over his knees and spanked me leaves me conflicted. This whole arrangement with him leaves me confused and uncertain. I already know I can’t trust my judgment, let alone my heart, when it comes to Ashton.
To make matters worse, Mandy is going to want answers about my behavior last night at the club. I haven’t seen her since I got wasted the night before. She’d already left for work by the time Ashton invaded my bed this morning, demanding an explanation for my insane actions.
Mandy and I have a lot to talk about, but my unexpected…involvement with her brother isn’t going to be part of this upcoming heart-to-heart. I can’t even entertain the idea of coming clean to her. I mentally scoff at the thought of how that conversation would go.
Where have you been, Sadie?
Nowhere special. Just at your brother’s house sucking his cock and getting spanked on his lap.
Yeah. That will go over well.
I enter our apartment, and as I’m locking the deadbolt behind me, Mandy saunters out of her bedroom in a black tank top with a crimson skull on the front. Red and black flannel bottoms hug her curvy hips. Her short dark hair is wet and tangled as if she just got out of the shower. I know she favors tanks since the sleeveless style shows off her tattoos. They’re a colorful mixture of hummingbirds and flowers that wrap around her biceps. She’s a talented tattoo artist, so I’d expect nothing but the best work on her skin.
She plops onto the sofa then pats the seat next to her. “Let’s talk.”
I knew it was coming, but I still drag my feet across the room. “I’m all ears,” I say, taking the cushion next to her.
“No, I’m all ears, so start talking. What happened yesterday that made you want to get shit-faced? I couldn’t understand a word you were saying over the phone last night.”
“The short version is I caught Jake with his dick in his assistant’s mouth.” A small pang goes off in my chest. So maybe I wasn’t in love with Jake. His betrayal still stings.
Mandy’s expression doesn’t change. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since she’s been warning me all along about Jake’s true colors.
“I’m sorry that bastard hurt you, but I can’t say I’m shocked. You deserve better than that.”
“You don’t have to say ‘I told you so.’ I’m already kicking myself plenty for the both of us.”
“Hey,” she says, her voice softening. “I’m not saying ‘I told you so.’ I’m saying you sell yourself short. You deserve better than these assholes you always end up dating. I swear, Sadie. I think you have some sort of asshole magnetism going on.”
I toe off my boots and sit crossed-legged on the couch. “Yeah, well I’m over it. I’m done with guys for a while.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Copying me, Mandy crosses her legs under her and turns so we’re facing each other. “I’m saying you’ve been in a rut where men are concerned. Maybe it’s time you shook things up a bit. Get outside your comfort zone, you know? Maybe you’ll find Mr. Right.”
Jesus. I’m so far out of my comfort zone with Ashton, I don’t recognize my surroundings. I nibble on my lip for a moment, considering telling her. Because I need someone to talk to about all of this, and she is my best friend.
But she wouldn’t understand, and no way would she approve. One, he’s her brother. Her manwhore brother. And two…she’d just see this thing with Ashton as another mistake I’m making. For someone like Mandy, who doesn’t have a problem in the sex department, she just wouldn’t get it.
She doesn’t freeze up with guys. She’s not the type to sleep with every guy she dates, but I know she’s had several intimate relationships. Obviously, she knows what she’s doing.
But I don’t. I have no clue what I’m doing.
Maybe it’s still true. Here I am, risking my heart with her brother, and for what? So I can blow the next asshole I attract with a shred of confidence?
No, she wouldn’t understand that.
“I think I’m going to swear off boyfriends.” I pause, giving it even more thought. “No, actually, I’m going to swear off boyfriends and dating. How’s that for shaking things up?”
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”
My eyes narrow, and I scrutinize her with a good amount of suspicion. “You’re up to something.”
“Okay, you caught me. I want to set you up with someone.”
I shake my head before she can finish speaking.
“C’mon, Sadie. You remember Brett?”
“The guy you were talking to at the club last night?”
“Yeah, him. Well Brett’s brother would be perfect for you.”
Of course, Mandy can’t stick to finding herself a man—she has to find one for me as well.
“You know I hate blind dates.”
“I know. Normally, I agree, but I think you and Shane will really hit it off. You know I wouldn’t set you up with a loser.”
I’m not convinced. “This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”
And so does Ashton—a fucking disaster waiting on the horizon. Most people run in the opposite direction of a tornado. But me? I’m running straight for that twisty funnel of heartbreak. Maybe if I date someone, casually, of course…maybe it’ll help to keep things real with Ashton. Keep things in the right perspective.
Ashton equals friend. He’s not even a friend-with-benefits. He’s a…teacher. Someone I can trust with my body. My heart, on the other hand, is another story. But this guy Mandy knows, well he could end up being Mr. Right if I give him a chance.
Couldn’t he?
“Let me think about it, okay?”
And that’s when Mandy gets that look—the one I always dread because I know she’s about to say something I won’t like.
“I kinda already set it up.”
“What?” I jump up from the sofa, my voice a shrill echo through the apartment. “Mandy!”
“You’ll thank me later,” she says in a sing-song voice, then the little shit bolts into the safety of her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She switched the lock, which means I’m not talking her out of this tonight.
Looks like I gained an ex-boyfriend and an ex-best friend all in the same weekend.