Ella

Dammit.

He wasn't going to let up. He took every chance he could to contact me, whether by text or email or in person.

The problem was, I was beginning to look forward to it, despite all my best intentions. It was so tempting to just let myself fall for him, but everything was happening far too quickly.

He was just so easy to be with. Fun. I enjoyed his sense of humor and of course, his obvious interest in me was flattering to my ego, which was still bruised.

Josh was wealthy, handsome, and successful. Any woman would be more than happy to receive his attention.

Except me. I feared it.

He could have me twisted around his little finger so easily...

I spent the weekend at the office working on the presentation, making sure it was ready for Sharon's meeting on Tuesday, going over every detail, trying to make sure each slide was perfect and the whole thing flowed. I checked every number three times with the source material. I sent copies to each of the editors involved in providing the data for their input.

It kept me busy all day Saturday and Sunday.

I didn't see Josh during that period, but he made sure to text me.

I continued to give the excuse that I was working late and needed to go right to bed when I was done for the night.

On Saturday afternoon, he called me while he was out shopping.

My cell rang and I checked the call display to see whether it was him, although there were very few people in the entire world who knew my number other than Steph -- Sharon, Josh and Cindy from the office. That was pretty much the extent of it and since both of them were only steps away, I knew it was him.

"Hello, Josh."

"Hello, Ella. I'm down at Mr. Ho's place by the office and am wondering what to get for supper."

"It all depends," I answered, smiling at his blatant attempt to talk me into having dinner with him.

"Depends on what?" he asked, his interest piqued.

"On what you feel like eating, of course," I replied and stared off into the distance, trying to imagine him standing at the fruit and vegetable stalls at the small grocers down the street from the main office in the financial district. I could see him picking up pieces of fruit and smelling them, feeling the cucumbers, checking out the fresh seafood in the display case.

"I want to know what you're interested in eating."

"Oh, I already have my dinner taken care of. Sharon brought us some homemade lasagna and garlic loaf for supper. But thanks for thinking of me."

"Rats," Josh said, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. "You wouldn't prefer some General Tso's chicken and rice? Some nice egg rolls?"

"Sadly, not tonight. We're working through supper to get this finished."

"Okay, but don't say I never tried."

"I could never say that."

I hung up and smiled to myself, enjoying his attention, regretting that I really couldn't take time off even if I wanted to. I didn't want to -- not really. Josh was like a triple chocolate fudge sundae with whipped cream on top. You know you shouldn't eat it, but that doesn't stop you from wanting it.

Josh wouldn't be good for me. He was a super-rich business mogul who would marry someone society girl like his ex. I was out of his league and I knew it. The last thing I wanted or needed was to spend the rest of my life feeling looked down on because I wasn't the right kind of people.

Ever hopeful that I'd given in out of sheer exhaustion from saying no, Josh texted me on Sunday afternoon.

JOSH: I bought a couple of really great tenderloin steaks and some sweet corn from the grocer down the street. I could grill them up on the BBQ on my roof-top patio if you'd like to join me. The view is fantastic and I promise you, the company couldn't be finer.

I exhaled, wanting to go to him, but at the same time, kicking myself for being so weak-willed.

ELLA: Sorry. Sharon bought us a couple of containers of Kung Pao Chicken and rice for supper. Working late again!

JOSH: Can't blame a man for trying...

ELLA: At some point, I would think a guy might get tired of being turned down...

JOSH: You are obviously unaware of my incredible persistence. Some would call it obstinacy. Or maybe blindness... But I prefer to call it impressive staying power. *Grin*

ELLA: LOL

ELLA: No comment. Not enough data to judge.

JOSH: I can help you with that. I like to ensure a woman has adequate knowledge of my best attributes.

ELLA: You think that's your best attribute? I would think it would be your moral character or intelligence or compassion or wit...

JOSH: Those, too.

ELLA: Have a great evening and enjoy your tenderloin. As for me, I'll be working on Sharon's presentation on the spring schedule for her meeting.

JOSH: You could come by later for a nightcap...

ELLA: I'll be so tired by the time I get home, I'll be good for nothing but sleep.

JOSH: If you change your mind...

ELLA: Good night. Sleep tight.

I put my cell away and tried to focus on the presentation, but Josh's persistence had me smiling to myself.

Around four in the afternoon, a woman entered the office with a tray of coffee and a box of donuts in her hand. She was striking, with black hair and patrician features, dressed immaculately in a business suit. She went right into Sharon's office and I thought nothing of it until I got a call from Sharon to join them.

The door to Sharon's office was cracked open and I was just about to open the door and go inside when I heard them mention Josh's name. I stopped and listened, curious what they'd say about him.

"...and he was looking for a wife and he had me vetting candidates. Can you believe it?" the woman said.

"Joshua asked you to find him a wife? Seriously?" Sharon asked, her voice shocked.

"Yes," the black-haired woman answered. "He said he was too busy to find one himself. He needed to get married to receive instalments on an incentivized trust his father left for him. He would only get money on his wedding anniversaries. A cool twenty-five million each year. So, he asked me to find suitable women and arrange the meetings."

"That's so utilitarian. It's disgusting, really, when you think about it. I never would have thought of Joshua like that."

"He's a business man, in the end. He said he was too busy for romance, but he needed that twenty-five million dollars to help his paper get off the ground running. The boys all thought they'd get a one-fifth share of the fortune, which would have been close to two billion each, but no. His father didn't believe in inherited wealth. He wanted them to work for their own fortunes."

"That sucks," Sharon replied.

I stood in the darkness of the hallway and felt like my blood had turned to ice. Josh hired the headhunter to find him a wife so he could get twenty-five million dollars? He was willing to have me as his little fuck buddy while he looked for a real wife?

As much as I didn't plan on getting married any time soon, it hurt me to think that I wasn't good enough for him to consider as a potential wife. In fact, I felt like I was going to cry.

I left the hallway and went to the staff washroom and did just that. While I cried, I realized that I didn't want to just have a dirty fling with handsome and wealthy bachelors like Josh. I wanted something real.

While I sat on the toilet and wiped tears away, I texted Josh.

ELLA: I'm sorry I can't come with you to Bali, but I just can't do casual sex. I need something more. Something deeper. I was with my ex for years and I realize that I'm on the rebound and you can't trust yourself when your heart has been broken. But the last two weeks have shown me that I just can't do meaningless but pleasurable. I'm worth more than that. Good luck with your life but it's better this way.

My finger hovered over the send button. Did I really want to do it? Josh told me that he was down on romance because of his bad experiences, but he was willing to hire a headhunter to find him a wife so he could get married for money.

It just didn't seem like the man I had come to know over the past few weeks, but I had to admit that if he really was trying to find a wife so he could get his first instalment and was happy to use me as a fuckbuddy until he met a woman good enough to be his wife, I couldn't be with him.

I tapped send and then went back to my office and sent a message to Sharon that I didn't feel like coffee or a donut and to go ahead without me.

Then I cried my eyes out alone in my office.