The southern Georgia heat is out in full force. It’s the last weekend in April and yet somehow feels like it’s mid-August.

Since I couldn’t talk Emma into coming with us, Starr brought her friend Chelsea. I had other friends I could have invited but none that I’m particularly close to and none that I felt like entertaining.

With Sandy, Starr, and Chelsea, they’re all friends so I can slip off whenever and it won’t matter one bit.

Pulling my phone out of the back pocket of my jean shorts, I check it for the hundredth time in the last hour. Hudson hasn’t arrived yet. Last time we talked he was supposed to be here by two and it’s now just after three.

The festival is already in full swing and even though it’s still pretty early in the afternoon, Sandy somehow managed to convince me to do a shot bar with her. I’ve never done a shot bar, but I quickly figure out what it is as the man behind the table sets out two long trays, each with four slots, a shot glass in each opening. He fills each with a different flavor of moonshine before setting the trays in front of us.

“I’m pretty sure four shots of moonshine will do me in.” I look at my cousin, having second thoughts.

Of course I want to partake. Who comes to a moonshine themed music festival and doesn’t drink moonshine? But then again I don’t want to be sloshed my first time seeing Hudson in weeks.

“Four shots.” Sandy swipes her hand through the air. “You got this. I’ve seen you drink a hell of a lot more than this and still walk a straight line.”

“Fine, but you’re the one holding my hair back when I’m puking later,” I tell her, even though I’m not planning on drinking enough to end up sick.

“Deal.” She smiles, picking up the first shot of moonshine labeled Apple Pie.

Grabbing the same shot off my tray, I hold up my glass, clinking it with hers before pouring the liquid down my throat. It burns like fire going down but the after taste isn’t as bad as I expected it to be. The heat settling in my stomach seconds later.

“Not too bad.” Sandy licks her lips and reaches for the second shot. “White lightning,” she reads the label out loud. “Sounds a little scary.” She laughs. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” I reach for the second shot, once again clinking it against hers before throwing it back. This one is a million times worse. It tastes like rubbing alcohol and feels like acid eating at my throat as it goes down. The look on Sandy’s face tells me she feels the same way.

“Okay, let’s never do that one again,” I say, shaking my head as I drop the empty shot glass back on the tray.

“Agreed.” Sandy wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Now I need to drink another just to get rid of that taste.”

We finish off the other two shots in quick succession. First Cherry then Caramel, which are both surprisingly quite tasty.

I’m still holding the last empty shot glass when the alcohol buzz hits me hard. I sway slightly, the heat rushing through my veins. I smile at my cousin and she smiles back, clearly feeling the effects of the moonshine as well.

“No more,” I tell her, linking my arm through hers as I set the glass back into the tray.

“No more for right now,” she corrects me.

“I can’t be drunk. I need real time with Hudson,” I whine dramatically.

“Are you drunk now?”

“No, but I have one hell of a buzz.” I give her a smile as we make our way through the crowd back toward the main stage.

“Me too.” Sandy giggles and I immediately follow.

I’m already embarrassed by both of us and the festival has barely even begun.

“So when are you meeting Hudson?” she asks, side stepping around a large group of people huddled together.

“No idea. He was supposed to be here over an hour ago.”

“Probably got stuck in traffic. This festival has really jammed stuff up. I’m so glad we were able to get a hotel within walking distance.”

“Me too,” I agree, knowing luck was definitely on our side.

Since this was kind of a last minute trip I wasn’t sure we’d be able to get a room at all. Every hotel for miles had zero vacancies so I called every day checking for cancellations and finally landed a room for the weekend at the hotel closest to the venue. A fifteen minute walk and we’re there which makes for a very easy commute over the three day weekend.

While I’m here to see Hudson and that is my priority, there’s no reason not to take this opportunity to spend some quality time with friends. It’s either that or sit at home moping and I do enough of that as it is. So after Hudson leaves, I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend enjoying the festival with the girls.

It’s not long before we reach my sister and her friend, lounging on the ground next to the gate that wraps around the main stage area. Starr has a beer in one hand, while sipping a shot of moonshine from the other and Chelsea looks like she’s had a bit too much already. Then again, perhaps I have too.

Sandy slides down on the ground next to them and lays back, tucking her hands behind her head like we’re laying on the beach and not at a music festival with thousands of other people.

“Comfy?” I laugh, looking down at her.

“Very,” she purrs.

“Where’s your hottie?” Starr sets her drinks down and leans back, her palms pressed flat against the ground behind her.

“Not here yet,” I say, tugging my phone from my pocket. “I think I’m gonna try to call him.”

“K.” My sister turns her face upward, soaking in the warm sun.

Pulling up my recent calls I click on Hudson’s name and press the phone to my ear, taking a few steps to the side for a little more privacy.

It rings three times before my call is answered, but the voice I hear on the other end is not one I was anticipating.

“Hello.” I recognize Annabelle’s sweet southern drawl instantly.

“Um, is Hudson around?” I stutter, honestly a bit taken back.

Hudson and Annabelle have separate tour busses. If she’s answering his phone that means one of two things – they are already here and for some reason he hasn’t called me and she somehow ended up near his phone or they are on the same bus together. Neither thought is all that settling.

“Lennon, is that you?” she purrs and I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying what I really want to say.

“Give me that,” Hudson says in the background seconds before his voice comes onto the line. “Lennon?” He seems a little off and instantly dread pools in the pit of my stomach.

“Hey,” I manage to push out without sounding completely bewildered. “Are you guys here?”

“Not yet. Traffic is a nightmare.”

“So you’re on the bus still.” I let the statement hang before continuing when Hudson says nothing, “And Annabelle is there with you?” I question, not hiding the irritation in my voice.

“We’ve had a pretty long drive from Washington so we decided to work on some music.”

“Right.” I nod my head even though he can’t see me.

“Lennon,” he says in a way that tells me he knows exactly where my mind has gone.

“No, it’s cool. I’ll let you two get back to whatever it is you were doing.”

“Lennon,” he repeats more forcefully.

“Just call me when you get here,” I say, tears stinging the back of my eyes.

He says my name again just as I click the end button, but I really couldn’t care less. Maybe it’s unfair of me to react this way. Maybe I’m acting crazy. Maybe I’m irrational and jealous. Maybe I’m the one who has the problem. Or maybe, this isn’t all on me.

I’m jealous because I feel like I have a reason to be. This woman gets to spend nearly every moment with my boyfriend while I’m lucky if I get to see him once every few weeks. She’s beautiful and talented and exists in the same world as Hudson. A world I’m not entirely sure I belong in. I think that’s been part of my problem all along – feeling like an outsider looking in when all I want to be is part of the group.

My phone starts buzzing in my hand, Hudson’s name flashing across the screen. I quickly decline the call and shove it back into my pocket. It’s only seconds before it’s vibrating against my ass cheek but I make no attempt to answer it.

Adjusting my sunglasses, I make my way the few feet back to the girls.

“You get a hold of him?” Starr asks, looking up at me the moment I approach.

“Yeah, he’ll be here any minute so I’m gonna go ahead and head over,” I lie, needing a few moments to collect myself before Hudson actually does get here. 

“Okay, tell lover boy we say hello.” She gives me a wicked grin.

“I’ll call you in a little bit. Make sure you keep your phone on so I can find you later.” I wait until Starr nods before spinning on my heel and taking off through the crowd.

The tour busses are lined in a gated field several yards behind the main stage and surrounded by tons of security. To get there I have to exit the festival area and walk to the other side of the property. Colton made sure to have a pass waiting on me when we arrived so that I would be allowed access to the bussing area.

When I reach the access point, I hold out my badge for a guard to scan before being allowed to pass through. There are several tour busses lining the field. Some new and flashy with all the bells and whistles and some that look as old as my Nana and even more battered. I guess it just goes to show the variety of artists at a festival like this.

I make my way through the lines of busses and vans, trying to digest my conversation with Hudson. I go back and forth with feeling like it’s all on me. Some days I feel like I’m making something out of nothing. Other days I wonder if I’m ignoring all the warning bells going off in my head at every turn and blaming myself because I don’t want to see what’s right in front of me.

Trust is a fickle thing. It’s hard to earn and even harder to give, especially when that trust has been broken before.

“Well, well, well.” A deep male voice startles me from my thoughts and I look up to see Travis Travers just as he steps off his tour bus.

“Travis, hi,” I stutter, a little caught off guard by his sudden appearance.

He looks almost exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him, yet somehow seems even more attractive. Maybe it’s the baseball hat, maybe it’s the sunglasses, maybe it’s the moonshine, but Travis Travers looks damn good right about now.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he says like we’re old friends.

“Yeah. A couple friends and I came up to see Hudson play,” I say, stopping directly in front of him.

“Just Hudson? I mean, he’s good and all but everyone comes for the headliner, right?” He smirks and while some might take the action as cocky, I see the humor behind his eyes.

“That guy?” I swipe my hand through the air. “Haven’t you heard? He’s nothing special,” I tease, not able to tear my eyes away from the gorgeous smile that graces his face.

“Yeah, I heard he’s all hype, no talent.” He chuckles. “So where’s Hudson?” he asks, looking around.

“Not here yet. His bus got stuck in traffic on the way in.”

“Not surprising. Where are they coming in from?”

“Washington State.”

“Damn, that’s a hell of a drive,” he says. “So you’re just waiting around?”

“Pretty much.” I rock back on my heels, hitching my thumbs into the front pockets of my shorts.

“I can keep you company if you want,” he offers.

“You don’t have to do that.” I shake my head. “I’m sure you have way more important things to do and Hudson should be here soon.”

“But he’s not here now. Come on, I don’t go on until ten thirty and to be honest, I’m actually pretty bored. You’d be doing me a favor.”

“And what exactly is it that we would be doing?” I arch a brow at him.

“I was getting ready to take a walk. I’m sick of being cooped up on that damn thing.” He hitches his thumb toward his tour bus which is surprisingly not one of the nicest ones on the lot.

“A walk sounds good,” I agree, knowing I have nothing better to do. Besides, how often does a girl get to hang out with someone as famous as Travis Travers? I may not be a super fan like Starr but I’m also not immune to his charm.

“So, how’s everything with you and Hudson? Things going good?” He waits until I step up next to him before taking his first steps.

“Yeah.” I keep my hands tucked in my pockets and my eyes forward.

“Really convincing there.” He chuckles, shortening his stride to match mine.

“Everything’s great,” I add more enthusiastically.

“Now why is it that I don’t believe you?”

“I don’t know. Things really are great.”

“Dating someone in this industry is tough,” he continues as if I didn’t even speak. “I’ve lost more than one good woman following this path. It takes a special kind of person to deal with the kind of lifestyle we live.”

“Special or crazy?” I blurt.

“Maybe a little of both.” Laughter dances through his words.

“Can I ask you something?” I stop abruptly and he quickly follows suit, turning to face me.

“Shoot.” He gestures for me to continue.

“When you tour with other artists, how much time do you actually spend with them?”

I know this is the last thing I should be talking about with someone like Travis but if anyone knows it would be him, right? Besides, the moonshine flowing through my veins makes me not really care if it’s something I should or shouldn’t ask.

“I guess it depends on the artist. I’ve toured with some really good buddies of mine and we’re together after every show, drinking beer and jacking around. I’ve also toured with groups that I’ve barely spoken to. I’m guessing this has to do with a certain southern bell that just so happens to be co-headlining your man’s tour?”

“Maybe.” I play coy.

“She giving you trouble?”

“You could say that.”

“Not surprising. Anna lives on competition. Works well for her music career. Her personal life not so much. She probably set her sights on Hudson the minute she learned you existed.”

“I take it you know her well?” I ask, following Travis when he resumes walking.

“I’ve worked with her a couple times. The label likes to partner artists. She doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to working with male artists. It didn’t take me long to figure out why.”

“You totally slept with her,” I blurt, reading his expression and based on his reaction to my statement, reading it right.

“I don’t kiss and tell, Lennon.” He smirks, giving me my answer without confirming or denying anything. “But I can tell she’s getting to you so I will say this; I doubt you have anything to worry about considering how crazy Hudson was over you the last time I saw him.”

“Thank you.” I give him a soft smile before turning my gaze forward again.

It’s strange. I feel oddly at ease talking about something so personal with someone I’ve only spoken to one other time in my entire life, yet I can’t seem to open up to someone I’ve been dating nearly nine months.

It’s not that Hudson doesn’t know how I feel on the matter or that I’m uneasy about all things Annabelle, but I don’t think he realizes how deep that unease runs. And it’s not just about Annabelle. But she’s just the thing that stands out the most right now which is why I’m so focused on her.

I spend the next several minutes in easy conversation with Travis. He tells me about his upcoming album and the tour that will follow and I tell him a little about what I do – which he finds way more interesting than I would’ve expected him to.

By the time we loop back around to his bus nearly a half an hour later, I feel like I know him so much better. It’s weird. When I first met Travis I didn’t expect him to be quite so... normal. But he really is just a normal country boy who drinks beer and loves to fish and hunt when he has breaks in his schedule. To be honest, other than the hunting part, he reminds me a great deal of Hudson. It’s easy to see why the two got along so well on tour. They also have very similar styles, both physically and musically.

“You staying for the full three day festival?” Travis asks, leaning his shoulder against the side of his bus while I stand a couple feet in front of him next to the door.

“Yeah, figured we might as well enjoy it.” I shrug.

“What about Hudson?”

“He’s only here for tonight. They have a show in Nashville tomorrow.”

“I knew his schedule was tight but that’s pushing it. My vocals don’t hold up well when I have back to back shows. I had to cancel three shows on my very first tour because I lost my voice two weeks in. After that, I refused to do back to back shows. It’s just too much strain on my chords.”

My cell phone pings in my back pocket and I immediately reach for it, a little surprised that Hudson only tried calling twice after I had hung up. In a way I expected him to blow me up until I answered. Maybe in a way I wanted him to.

“Hudson’s here,” I say, reading the text message that pops up on the screen.

My heart rate picks up speed despite the fact that I’m still pretty irritated with him at the current moment.

“Did he say where they’re parked?”

“West side of the lot, next to the entry gate.”

“Come on, I’ll walk over with you.” He pushes away from the bus and takes off before I can object.

If I had to guess I would say Hudson won’t be happy seeing me stroll up with Travis Travers. Then again, maybe it will do him some good. Give him a little taste of what I feel on a daily basis.

I hate to even think that way. It’s such an immature way to view things but sometimes I can’t help it. The more time that passes the less I feel like I have a hold on things. I don’t know how to explain it other than I feel like I’m trying desperately to hang on to something that’s been designed to fail.

It doesn’t take but a couple minutes to reach the far side of the lot. As soon as we turn the corner I spot Hudson. He’s standing next to his crew manager who’s showing him something on the clip board in his hand.

As if he can sense me, his gaze instantly comes up and we lock eyes. Every single thing I felt earlier – every doubt, every fear, every ounce of irritation leaves my body in a whoosh. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him. Well, in person anyway. And even though he’s just as handsome via Facetime, it’s nothing like having him standing in front of me in the flesh.

Without thinking I take off toward him, launching myself at him the moment I’m within reach. His arms close around me and his face goes into my hair. He inhales deeply and his hold tightens.

“I’m sorry.” My words are muffled by his chest.

“Don’t be. I’m sorry,” he says, pulling back to study my face for a long moment before his eyes dart behind me.

Stepping back, I turn and follow his gaze. My eyes land on Travis who stops a few feet from where we’re standing. I was so distracted by the sight of Hudson I momentarily forgot all about Travis.

“Hey man.” Travis waits until Hudson has me tucked protectively against his side before extending a hand to him. “It’s been a while.” He shakes Hudson’s hand, then takes a full step back.

“It has.” Hudson nods, clearly a little confused as to why Travis is with me.

“I ran into Travis while I was waiting for you,” I explain.

“She was gracious enough to take a walk with me. Keep me company for a while.”

“As long as walking was the only thing you were doing,” Hudson says in a way of a joke, but I pick up on the seriousness behind the statement.

“Travis?” I hear Annabelle’s voice seconds before she exits Hudson’s bus. “Oh my god, I thought that was you I heard.” She hops off the last step.

I ignore the wave of anger that washes over me at watching her stroll off Hudson’s bus like she’s something special before crossing the few feet to where Travis is standing.

“It’s been forever,” she says, throwing her arms around his neck.

He hugs her back, meeting my gaze over her shoulder where we share a private exchange. He winks and I smile. If I didn’t already think he was a pretty bad ass guy, I totally would now. If Hudson weren’t in the picture I could see myself falling for Travis. He’s got that southern charm meets bad boy, but he still has a really good heart. I’m not going to lie, it’s damn attractive.

But even with all that, he still doesn’t hold a candle to Hudson. In a way I wish he did. Maybe then I could prove to myself that the sun doesn’t rise and set with Hudson James Demasi. Maybe then I wouldn’t carry so much fear. Maybe then I could let myself enjoy the ride instead of obsessing over if and when the roller coaster is going to fly off the track and send me crashing to the earth below. Maybe if I could see life beyond Hudson, a future beyond him, I wouldn’t be so afraid. Only I can’t.

I push down the thought and turn my focus back to Travis and Anna who exchange fake pleasantries like they’re both well versed in the art of bullshit. It’s clear to see that Travis doesn’t much care for her but you’d have to be really paying attention to notice.

“I guess I should be heading back. I just wanted to stop by and say hey.” Travis turns from Annabelle to address Hudson. “We’ll have to make plans to meet for a beer when you’re back in the studio.”

“Sounds good.” Hudson nods, his hand tightening on my hip when Travis’ gaze comes to me. “Lennon.” He tips his head slightly. “Always a pleasure.” He gives me a smoldering smile.

“Bye, Travis.” I give him a half wave, watching him brush by Annabelle without another word.

“We’re gonna head inside. I’ll see you in a bit,” Hudson tells Annabelle before he guides me up the stairs and onto the bus, his hand firmly pressed against my lower back.

As soon as the door shuts behind him, his entire demeanor changes.

“Point made,” he practically growls.

“Excuse me?” I’m thrown completely off, having expected him to kiss me.

“If you were trying to make a point by hanging out with Travis, you made it.”

“I wasn’t trying to make a point. I was waiting for you, I ran into him, we talked for a while.”

“You talked for a while.” He lets out an angry laugh. “You two seemed awfully chummy to me.”

“Seriously?”

His nostrils flare. “You get pissed and hang up on me for working with another artist but then you go and hang out with Travis.”

“Are you kidding me?” I snap back. “You spend every waking moment with another woman and I’m supposed to be okay with it, but you’re going to get pissed over me having a casual conversation with someone?”

“That’s different and you know it. I don’t have a choice. This is my career.”

“Okay, so it’s your job to go on little day trips with her or out for dinner. Doing all the stuff you should be doing with me but with her?” I counter, everything I’ve been holding in boils to the surface.

“You could be the one doing all those things with me but you refused to come on tour with me.”

“So what, you’re using her as a stand in?” I scream, tears burning the back of my eyes. “I’m sorry that I’m not some mindless girl who’s going to throw all my plans and everything I’ve worked for out the window to stand on the sidelines while you follow your dreams. That’s not who I am. I thought you understood that about me.”

“I do understand that.”

“Do you? Because from where I’m standing it looks more like you’re punishing me.”

“Punishing you?” It’s his turn to look confused, his expression instantly softening. “Is that what you think I’m doing?” He takes a step toward me.

“I don’t know,” I grumble, my temper not subsiding.

Truth is I don’t think he’s punishing me. I don’t even know why I said it. One of those things that just comes out in the heat of the moment, yet I wonder if it doesn’t stem from some sort of truth.

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, regret masking his face. “I’m not punishing you, Lennon. I would never play those kinds of games with you. You have to know that. You mean everything to me. Everything,” he reiterates. “Things are hard right now, I know that. It’s hard for me too. I’m sorry for jumping on you like that. I had no right.”

“I’m sorry for earlier,” I cave, letting out a deep breath.

Even though deep down I haven’t even scratched the surface of the things I should probably say, I don’t have it in me to fight with him. I’ve missed him so much it’s been physically painful.

“Come here.” He steps toward me and pulls me into his arms, his mouth landing on mine seconds later.

The anger and confusion and frustration instantly morphs into pure animalistic hunger. Our tongues clash together, breath mingling as we tear at each other’s clothing. Neither able to wait long enough to complete the task. I’ve still got my shirt and panties on and Hudson is still dressed from the waist down when he turns me around and bends me over the small table in the common area of the bus.

With my cheek pressed against the cool laminate, Hudson lowers his jeans seconds before he pulls my panties to the side, his warm heat settling at my entrance.

Without warning, he presses inside with one powerful thrust. I instantly cry out, grasping the edges of the table to hold myself in place.

Hudson quickly establishes a relentless pace, pounding into me with so much force it pushes the air from my lungs.

The burn starts to work its way through my lower belly. It’s been so long and he feels too good. I know I’m not going to be able to hold it together for long.

I crave Hudson like a starving person craves food. I get little crumbs to keep me alive but I never feel fully satisfied until he’s pressed against me the way he is right now.

“Hudson,” I cry, the climb taking me higher and higher.

“Let it go, baby. Let me feel you.” He quickens his pace, the sound of skin slapping skin bouncing around us.

I know he’s close. I can feel it in the way he moves, sense it in his desperation, hear it in his words. This knowledge sends my orgasm rocketing through me and my entire body feels the effects. It courses through me like an electrical pulse – sending pleasure from the bottom of my feet to the tips of my fingers.

Two more deep thrusts and Hudson spills his release inside of me with a deep groan, collapsing on top of me moments later.

His hot breath dances across my spine as we both work to catch our breath. The whole ordeal lasted less than three minutes, yet my body feels like we’ve been going at it for hours.

Hudson slides out of me without a word, guiding me upward moments later. Spinning me around, his hand splays across the side of my neck as he stares down at me.

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way.” The side of his mouth tips up in a smile. “What do you say we head back to the bedroom and I can spend the next two hours reminding you how much I need you?” He leans forward and kisses my jaw. “How much I want you.” His lips slide across my cheek as he speaks. “How much I love you,” he whispers against my lips before pressing a soft kiss there too.

I melt at the tenderness of the moment, especially given how we were yelling at each other ten minutes ago.

I nod only once before Hudson lifts me off my feet and into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist, my mouth finding his as he carries me into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind us.

—-

“There you are,” Starr says as I step up to where she, Sandy, and Chelsea are all huddled at the back of the pit.

“Sorry. I was backstage with Hudson,” I say, having had no desire to watch Annabelle perform.

“And how is our hot country star?” My sister gives me a knowing smile.

“Perfect,” I say, knowing that’s exactly how our afternoon was after we got our little tiff out of the way. “I figured you’d be up there.” I gesture to the front of the pit next to the stage.

“These two didn’t want to and I didn’t want to be up there by myself.”

“Awe, you poor thing.” I pout my lip in mock sympathy, my attention going to the stage when the lights dim.

There is nothing better than outdoor concerts after the sun goes down. There’s something so magical about watching the way the lights reflect across the crowd, the star filled sky acting as the perfect backdrop to an emotionally charged song, or the way one sole spotlight illuminates the artist during a slow ballad.

Of course, that’s all made even better when the artist on that stage is Hudson.