Chapter Twenty
“Sam? Have you got a moment?”
Sam looked up from her bowl of oatmeal to find January standing beside her table. She hadn’t slept well and had been forced to use her wheelchair for the first time in ages when her uncooperative left leg had refused to bear her weight and get her to the guest center. After her exploits the previous day, she was simply glad to be moving again.
“Sure; what’s up?”
“Chase and I wanted to talk to you about the plan for the children and vets program.”
“Me? You’d be better off talking to Jenna. She’s the one who knows all about it.”
“We know that, but we’d like to get your perspective as well. You’ve been incredibly helpful with your feedback about the ranch so far, and you did say you ran a version of this back in your practice in Sacramento.”
January’s smile was so open and hopeful that Sam couldn’t disappoint her.
“Okay. When do you want me?”
“When you’ve finished breakfast, come and find me at the front desk.” January smiled. “Thanks so much, Sam.”
Sam added another spoonful of brown sugar and some raisins to her half-empty bowl and topped it off with a small pitcher of cream. Living on the ranch had done wonderful things for her appetite and feeling miserable about HW made her crave comfort food.
She reminded herself that she’d sent him away before he did it to her—that he’d told her he didn’t do relationships and got scared when women got too close. And, boy, was she close. The trouble was, she wanted to get so close to him that there wasn’t a single inch of skin not touching, which meant it was time to stop. For both their sakes.
She sighed into her coffee. The thing was, it didn’t feel good. It felt wrong—like she was throwing something precious away, like she was a chicken.
“Cluck cluck,” Sam muttered. “Go me.”
Getting to her feet, she sat in her chair and made her way back to the entrance hall, where she found January dusting the dried flower arrangement.
“Oh, there you are, Sam! Come on through. Chase is in his office.”
They both went into the business part of the building and January led the way to Chase’s office. He looked up when they came in, his intent blue gaze softening as he smiled at his wife. January had found a way to tame her Morgan brother, but Chase was nothing like HW.
For the next half hour, Sam had to concentrate hard because Chase was nothing but thorough in his questions. Whatever she said seemed to convince him, and eventually, he sat back and nodded.
“This idea is definitely a go—at least as a summer camp for the kids, and on a when-needed basis for ex-service personnel. I’ll talk to Jenna and Blue to see whether we need to get new horses or we can work with the stock we have.”
January leaned forward. “It’ll have to be next summer, Chase. We need the next six months to get the main programs started.”
“Yes, although bookings are already looking good.” Chase smiled at January. “You’ve done a fantastic job on that.”
“So have you.”
For a second, Sam felt like such a third wheel that she contemplated creeping out.
She cleared her throat loudly. “So, if we’re done with the initial planning, can I make a request?”
“What’s up?” Chase instantly looked back to her again.
“I don’t want HW teaching me to ride anymore.”
“Why?” Chase asked. He was nothing but direct. “I thought you two were getting along great.”
“We were, but . . .” Sam grimaced. “We had a fight.”
“From what I’ve seen and heard, you do that a lot,” Chase murmured.
“This time I think we both meant it.”
Silence fell as Chase glanced at January, who came to sit on the front edge of his desk, right close to Sam.
“I don’t know him well, but HW seems to really care about you, Sam,” January said carefully. “I know he can be a bit argumentative and stubborn, but he’s a Morgan.”
“Hey, he’s way worse than me,” Chase objected.
“No, he isn’t. He’s just different, but equally exasperating.” January met Sam’s gaze. “I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive, but I got the feeling that you liked him a lot.”
“I do; I mean, I did,” Sam admitted. “But that’s the problem. He doesn’t want a proper relationship. He’s never had one and he’s scared.”
“He’s certainly never met anyone like you,” Chase added. “It’s been good for him to be challenged.”
“Maybe, but he was very clear about what he wanted.” Sam sighed. “And I feel bad talking about him when he’s not here. So can we just drop the subject?”
“If that’s what you want.” January stood up. “But if you need to talk to me about anything, you know where I am. I’m a specialist about decoding the habits of the Morgan male.”
Sam had to smile at that. “Noted.”
“There’s just one more thing.” Chase looked up from his laptop. “Following on from what we were just discussing, I was going to ask if you’d be interested in coming on board as an employee.”
Sam blinked at him. “Me?”
“For the summer camps, at first. We’d need to employ a physical therapist and counselor, and we’d much rather it was someone we can trust. You’ve also got a great eye for detail. If we’re successful, we’re going to need someone to take on more of the day-to-day project management for the whole ranch.”
“Like full time?”
Chase winked at January. “Yeah. We might be thinking of starting a family at some point.”
January blushed and studied the toe of her boot. “That’s true.”
“But I have a job in Sacramento,” Sam said.
“So I understand, but would you at least think about it?” Chase held her gaze. “I know you don’t want to discuss HW, but if you’re worried about seeing him, I doubt he’ll be here much in the future, and—”
“Whoa.” Sam held up her hand. “Excuse me? Whatever gave you the idea that HW wants to leave?”
“He’s always been the restless member of the family.” Chase frowned. “If he goes back to the rodeo, he won’t have time to hang out here.”
“Chase, with all due respect, you don’t really know him at all if you think he wants to move on. HW wants to stay here. He wants you guys to welcome him onboard.” Sam looked helplessly from January to Chase. “If you’re wanting to find a job for anyone, start with HW. He’d be great managing the kids and the vets. He’s incredibly patient and they’d all love him.”
Chase studied her for a long moment. “You think so?”
“I know so. He put up with me and I wasn’t exactly an ideal pupil. He’s all set to retire from the rodeo right now. Hasn’t he mentioned it?”
“Sure he has, but I didn’t think he really meant it.” Chase rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “He’s never seemed to care about this place.”
“You’re wrong about that,” Sam said. “Dead wrong.”
“Then I’ll think about what you’ve said.” Chase nodded decisively. “It certainly adds a whole new dimension to our future plans.”
“Good.” Sam headed for the door. “If he’s staying, I’m pretty darn sure he won’t want me around, but thanks for the offer.”
“Seeing how passionately you just defended him, Sam, I’m not so sure about that.” Chase’s smile was tinged with mischief. “I don’t think you’ve given up just yet.”
“Because I had to defend him against his family?” Sam raised her chin. “I like HW. He’s strong and courageous, and underneath that charm he’s so . . . kind.” She groaned. “I’m not helping, am I?”
“Not at all.” Chase winked at her. “But I’m not complaining. Any woman who can get a Morgan all riled up and not knowing which way to turn is a genius in my book.”
“That’s the truth,” January said. “Please think about what we’ve said, okay?”
Sam let herself out into the hallway and took her time returning to her cabin. She had exercises to do to help maintain the flexibility of her knee. After that, she’d find something to do that was as far away from HW Morgan as possible. This time she knew he wouldn’t come after her.
* * *
“What kind of job?” HW sat in front of Chase’s desk and gave his big brother a cautious glance. He’d been summoned to Chase’s office just before he was due to take Rachel and Sam out for their riding lesson and was impatient to get out of there as fast as possible to see Sam.
“A job here at the ranch,” Chase said patiently. “If you’re serious about retiring from the rodeo, we could definitely use you here.”
“Doing what?”
“Heading up the summer camps for the disabled kids and dealing with incoming veterans on a one-on-one basis for a start.”
“Really?”
Chase shrugged. “Everyone keeps telling me what a great teacher you are, so this seems an ideal role for you.”
“What about Jenna and BB?” HW asked slowly.
“They’ll be working alongside you, but the main responsibility for maintaining and running the program would be yours.”
HW let the idea sink in. “It sounds . . . great.”
“Yeah?”
“I’d have to do some research, maybe visit some camps and work alongside the professionals there to make sure I was doing it right, but I’d definitely be up for it.” HW smiled at Chase and rose to his feet. “Wow. Thanks for thinking of me! I didn’t think you were interested in me working here at all.”
Chase grimaced. “I thought you were going back to the rodeo, but someone set me straight about that.”
HW nodded. “Jenna’s a smart woman. She must have worked out I was interested after we had dinner together at her house the other night.”
“Nope, it wasn’t Jenna.”
“BB, then.”
Chase shook his head and grinned in an infuriating way. “Wrong again.”
“Then who?”
“Sam Kelly.”
HW gripped the back of his seat hard. “Sam recommended me for the job?”
“She was quite passionate about it as well. She basically told me I was an idiot for not working it out for myself.”
“Well, she’s right about that,” HW muttered. “How did that come about? Did she just march in here and start telling you what to do?”
“Not quite. I was asking her if she was interested in taking up the physical therapist job for the summer camps.”
“What did she say?”
“You’ll have to ask her. But during our conversation, she suggested you would make a fantastic teacher. I spoke to everyone around the ranch and they all agreed with her, hence my offering you the job.”
“Everyone thought I’d be good at it?”
“Yeah.”
HW wanted to grin like an idiot. “That’s cool.”
“Don’t forget to say thank you to Sam, then, will you?”
“Don’t you start meddling.” HW glowered at his brother. “She’s the one who’s not talking to me right now.”
“You’re as bad as each other.” Chase made a dismissive gesture. “Now go away. I have a call coming in.”
HW paused at the door. “Thanks, Chase. I mean it.”
“Thank Sam.”
“I will.”
HW shut the door and went out to the lobby, his mind brimming with ideas mixed up with anticipation and gratitude. He could do this job. He wanted to do it really well. He checked the time and went out to the barn but found only Ry saddling up his horse.
“Where’s Sam?” HW asked.
“She’ll be here in a minute; why?”
“No reason.” HW looked around for something to do. “I’ll get Cisco out.”
“There’s no need. I’m taking Sam and Rachel out with me,” Ry said.
“Where?”
“For their regular lesson.” Ry continued buckling on the bridle like there was nothing wrong.
“That’s my job.”
Ry met his gaze. “Not according to the boss. I was told to take your place.”
“And you just agreed to do that?”
“HW, you’re not being very nice to Rachel, and Sam . . .”
“Sam what?”
“Sam requested a new teacher.”
HW glared at his twin. “Did she, now.” He turned on his heel and watched as Sam and Rachel approached the barn. Sam was in her chair and Rachel was pushing her. They were chatting like a pair of magpies. “I wonder why?”
Sam came right up to him, her green gaze way too benign. Rachel gave him a quick nod and sidled over toward Ry, who immediately smiled at her.
“Hey, Rach, how are you doing today?”
“I’m good, thanks. How are you?”
“Enjoying this day more every minute.” Ry winked at her. “How about you and I get started and leave HW and Sam to clear the air between them?”
Rachel grabbed her horse’s bridle. “That’s a great idea.”
Sam cleared her throat. “Um, I’m supposed to be going with you two.”
“No, you’re not,” HW interjected.
She raised her chin. “I don’t have anything in particular I need to say to you right now, HW. I’d much rather go ride.”
He stared her down. “Well, I do have something to say.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Then go ahead, seeing as it doesn’t look like you’re going to get out of my way until you do.”
He waited until Ry and Rachel mounted up and were out of earshot before returning his attention to Sam.
“How’s your knee?”
“It’s fine, thanks.”
“Good. Then why are you using your chair?”
“Because I felt like it. Next question?”
HW started to sweat as he tried to think what to say and then decided to go with it. “Why did you recommend me for the job?”
She blinked at him. “What job?”
“The job here at the ranch, helping out with the kids and vets.”
“Because I knew you’d be good at it.” She sighed. “Look, I know things didn’t work out for us long term, not that either of us even wanted that, but I still like you and want to be friends.”
“Friends . . .”
“Yes.”
“That’s it? You’re giving up?”
She looked away toward the barn. “You’ll be perfect for this job. You’ll be back with your family and can finally settle down.”
“And what about you?” He tried to keep his tone light, but inside, a red-hot fist was tightening in his gut. “Did you take the job Chase offered you?”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“HW, don’t be dense. How could I work here, when you . . .” She paused. “When I already have a good job in Sacramento?”
“But you put a lot of effort into planning those camps.”
“I know, but . . . sometimes other things and other people are more important.”
“People like me, you mean?”
“Yes.”
HW swallowed hard. When was the last time someone had put his needs first or had cared enough to stand up for him? Why couldn’t Sam see that it was the most loving thing anyone had ever done for him?
“Thank you,” HW said and meant the words from the bottom of his heart. “Thank you, Sam Kelly.”
“You’re welcome, Hoss William.” Her green eyes held a hint of tears as she turned away from him.
“Sam?” She went still. “Are you sure you don’t want that job?”
She spun around to face him. “Please don’t make this difficult, HW. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But you will if you walk away from this place, from this job, and from me.” HW let out his breath. He felt like he was tottering on the edge of a cliff. “I want you to stay.”
“And I’m too scared, okay? You’re right; I am a chicken.”
“I shouldn’t have said that about you. I was mad and—”
“You were right!”
“I can’t make you stay—hell, I couldn’t even make my mother stick around—but will you at least think about Chase’s offer?” HW said hesitantly. “Maybe come back in the summertime and spend a couple of months out here?”
He was aware that he was trying to coax her into giving him some kind of lifeline, some kind of hope, but he couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. She’d think he was such a wuss.
Don’t go, Mom, please don’t go.
“Sorry; I have no right to say any of that to you.” HW took an unsteady step back. “You’ll work it out yourself.”
He stayed where he was as she left, her ride seemingly forgotten in her haste to get away from him, wondering why his heart was still thumping away in his chest when he thought it should be broken. He was that stupid little boy again, begging his mother not to leave him. Had he really said that out loud in his sleep? It hadn’t worked then, so why should it work now? There was something about him that was inherently unlovable and leavable.
“Get a grip, HW,” he muttered to himself. “Grow up.”
The thing was, he had grown up and thought he’d found someone who might love him for himself. But one thing he’d learned was that you couldn’t force someone to love you, and for whatever reason, Sam was running away from him. She had to make her own decisions. It sucked, but it was one of those home truths his grandma Ruth would be sure to point out to him.
And he wasn’t exactly blameless, was he? He was too scared to tell her he might be in love with her. He stared out toward the guest cabins. Should he sacrifice everything and lay it out there for her? Put his heart and his future on the line?
HW went into the barn, saddled up Cisco, and headed for the hills. A long ride might clear his head and help him make some critical decisions. And if that didn’t work, maybe he’d swallow his pride and ask his twin for some advice. Ry would love that.